My ex MIL keeps making comments about her grandchildren. I am African American, my kid’s father is White. Therefore, my kids have a tan complexion that is a mix of us both. When summer arrives, black people turn a 4- 5 shades darker. This means the same for my children. When we swim or go to the lake my kids come home a completely different color, and my daughter gets just as dark as me. (Mom). My issue is with my ex MIL- son and i are not together but still close enough with his family to co parent. No family of my own. Here…MIL makes the most inappropriate comments about my daughter, " Wow you’re getting too dark" or “Girl if you get any darker. No more pool for you lol” right in front of me…I don’t like it and neither does my 5yo daughter. The other day she told me she wish she was white- my feelings are hurt because she is litterally the best of both worlds.I haven’t mentioned it to dad, idk of he’ll understand…He told my son once that he and his sister are "basically white"I feel the need to speak up because in the past she has said things that should not be said …She’s body shamed me and recently my son for being small and petite, I finally spoke up and she’s never done it again.Her excuse was that she’s jealous of my body- buy that does not make it okay to shame ANYONE She shamed her 8yo grand daughter for being fat and eating too much & for having curly hair that her mom CAN’T maintain… she says curly hair looks like rats nest. MY ex sister said something and it never happened again. Idk If I’m going to rub anyone the wrong way when do mention something. But I definitely will be saying something.Am I over reacting?? Put yourselves in my shoes
I would take my kids far, far away from this toxic family. I dont take my kids to my own mother or barely speak to her because she constantly makes remarks about my size and then about the size of my teens any time they ever even eat at her house. My 5-9 yr old nieces eat more than my teen daughters at her house yet she’ll tell my kid to stop eating. Anyways even though my older brother and younger sister are nice to my kids i wont even take my kids to the yearly family gathering anymore, she can guilt trip me all she wants, Remember you have your own family to think of and you are your kids only family, they shouldnt learn that love means hurtful judgements on your outer shell.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My ex MIL has body shamed me and my kids: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
That’s not body shaming, that’s racism. Tell her to f*ck off
Have you tried oral sex
You are not over reacting. I am white as the snow and know not to make remarks like this to a grown person let alone a child.
I couldn’t even read the rest of what you wrote after I read that she says if she gets much darker she will not be allowed to go swimming. Wtffffff
This is NOT ok… any of it. Tell that woman to stop it. She’s bullying a child. Her blood.
Yes. Talk to her. It’s definitely disrespectful to say those things
What goes on deff not - say something and if someone doesn’t like it too bad on them
Why do u allow ur children to get mentally abused ?
Speak up regardless how they feel 
they are speaking racist and As a mother with 2 biracial kids I’ve always taught them to speak up for themselves as I do for them as well
Put her in her place and she will stop.
This is disrespectful. This is not okay at all. Woman to woman I’d tell her exactly how I felt. If things didn’t change then I would not allow her near my kids.
Bullying and racial remarks are a form of mental abuse. Put a stop to it immediately. You don’t owe her anything. Speak up.
Not at all never be scared to defend your babies and yourself
Simple. Cut off communication with her
Not overreacting. Tell her if she ever makes another single comment to your children about the color of their beautiful skin, she will never be allowed to speak to or see them again. Period. Your child’s mental health is more important than a relationship with someone who can damage it.
This makes me so sad. You are NOT overreacting at all. Shame on her.
I’d definitely call her TF out! Not ok. Never ok.
You are not overreacting, we have mixed in my family and they are beautiful 
children
No more contact with kids if that doesn’t stop immediately
oh my goodness how horrible! as a white mother with a child who is half black this is unacceptable for them! speak up! You are not overreacting at all.
U need stop her in her tracks!!! What a miserable human being!!! My daughter is also multi-cultural and never take shit from anyone! Ur daughter will never feel she’s pretty or good enough!!! Our girls self esteem is everything!!! Who cares if u don’t have that mil!! Sheesh.
I’m Irish and my daughter dad is Cajun so she gets dark and I get told I cheated
She sounds ugly on the inside too. I’d say something if I were you, that’s just not ok.
This so not okay ! I am a grand mother of 2 biracial grandkids and I absolutely love them for who they are and who they will be as they grow up ! I can’t imagine being that way towards kids that are my world ! Say what ever you need to say momma ! She deserves to have her feelings hurt 
My daughter is also mixed, and if anyone ever said anything like that to her, I’d be throwing hands. You should put the uncomfortable back on her. Ask her what, exactly, does that mean? When you make racist people explain themselves when they try saying underhanded racist comments, it throws them for a loop.
That is not okay and I’d be upset too. Idk why people think its okay to say things like that… I’m sorry mama. Definitely speak up about it! Tell dad and have a conversation with grandma that you’ll be removing her from your kids lives if she can’t be an encouraging and accepting family member. And I mean accepting of all of you.
You answered your own question. When it was pointed out to her, she stopped. Just be firm about it. Plus let Dad know so he can handle it too
If it makes you or your daughter uncomfortable then it’s not overreacting at all! Defend yourself your child and speak up for what’s right!
You’re not overacting, say something, stand up for yourself and your babies.
She’s a racist. Tell her off in no uncertain terms.
You’re not overreacting at all!
My children are mixed also. I wouldnt allow this. She is clearly being racist. Im so sorry but you need to put the bitch in her place before it gets worse
That’s definitely NOT ok and I would say something to both ex Mil and BD! If ex Mil can’t get it together then maybe should she needs put in “time out” until she learns that she CANNOT say crap like that to you, your kids or anyone for that matter!
I would say something! Grandma is racist!
Tell her to kiss it🥰
Wtf I’d never let my kids around her again
One of my daughters was told by her best friend that she didn’t know who she was in society because of her skin colour,her father is black I am white. My daughter has white skin but indigenous features,she ended trying to darken her skin by going out in the sun,trying anything to darken her skin.
You definitely need to say something. “Rubbing someone the wrong way” is a hell of a lot better than your daughter being made to feel shamed because of the color of her skin. How anyone could possibly think it’s appropriate to tell someone they’re getting too dark is absolutely beyond me and I would’ve nipped that in the bud from the very first time it happened. Your daughters black is beautiful and the best way to instill that in her is advocating for her in situations like this. Make waves, mama!
Babyyyyy you better speak to that woman and let her know that every shade is beautiful, and she’s giving your child an unnecessary complex especially at such a young age. Dad should be chiming in absolutely and get his mom in line. I’d speak to him about it once with the understanding that he will be speaking with her. This woman needs to stop projecting her jealousy and insecurities off on other people!
I don’t think your overreacting at all, actually your a lot calmer than me. My boys are mixed white (me) and African American (dad). My oldest definitely gets many shades darker in the summer baby is only 6 months but I’m sure he’ll be the same. But if someone were to ever say anything like that or disrespect them in any way especially about their skin color/hair it would be checked on the spot and not in a nice way. I want my boys to be proud of who they are completely. And I’ve always said as their mom it’s my job to build them up so high no one can bring them down with their ignorance, family or not.
I assume she’s white… I’d just be like "awe are you jealous we can get a tan and you are either white or red. " 
I am a huge b. I’d be pissed. I know myself as a white person I am extremely jealous of darker skin because I want dark skin
I wouldn’t put up with that at all. They should be proud of both sides, both heritages. She sounds a bit racist to me and I certainly wouldn’t want my kids picking up on that. We are all the same under our skin.
SAY SOMETHING! Those are your babies and it’s not okay for her to say that stuff. Your kids need to see you stand up for them.
Damn , shed be having a coming to Jesus meeting she’d never forget ! NEVER OK TO SPEAK TO ANYONE THAT WAY ! AND KIDS ??? OH HELL NO !!
Tell her girl if you get any more racist there will be no more grand babie time for you.
I have said similar things to my dad not because I was concerned about the color but the implications of how much sun he was exposing himself to and the danger and damage it was causing to his skin. Maybe MIL was out of line but maybe just have a conversation about it
Definitely speak up. Restrict contact if they refuse to stop saying hurtful things about your kids. White mom with white husband and white kids here, but I have racially mixed niece’s & nephew’s and I’d be damned if I ever let anyone disrespect them like that in front of me. All children are beautiful and deserve to feel that way… ESPECIALLY by their own family.
No ma’am you are not overreacting! You are never wrong for speaking up when others say hurtful things. Speak your mind mama!!!
Tell her where to get off, she’s racist, stand up for ur babies
Tell her she’s dark and beautiful! I WISH I could tan but I just burn. 
tell your ex MIL to keep her body shaming comments to herself
Say something to her. Give her the benefit of the doubt to keep the peace, & approach it as “I’m sure you don’t mean to, but when you say (A, B, C) it makes me or my daughter feel (D, E, F), could you please not do it anymore.”.
If I had to guess she’s probably one of those older thoughtless people. Doesn’t give them an excuse, but I feel like sometimes people forget that their words can cause people pain, even if that wasn’t their intention.
You need to have a conversation with her. As a mother of mixed children sometimes older white people say things not knowing it is hurtful. Hopefully when you explain how it makes you and the children feel she will be more mindful.
If it doesn’t change then she doesn’t deserve y’all in her life!
My grandmother called all of her children and grandchildren and great great grandchildren her little monkeys ( way before she had mixed Grandchildren) I had to explain to her why she couldn’t continue that because of how it could be Perceived by the other side of their family and we didn’t want to be offensive. She made new nick names.
Not at all! Please set boundaries for you and your children! I would never say any of those things about my grandchildren or their mother. It’s inappropriate for sure!
Call police and report her that she is verbally abusing you! Cause this is what she basically does! See if she dares to open her mouth again. Toxic people everywhere 
Not over reacting. Keep co parenting with your ex but do not allow your children around this toxic, jealous, and racist woman.
The ex mil is disgusting 
She sounds alittle racist… you tell her black is beautiful and we all are the same no matter what our skin is.
You’re definitely NOT overreacting and I would address this immediately.
No. You’re not overreacting. Say something. I don’t understand people like that.
I would remind her that all folks’ skin tones get darker in the summer. That her grand babies are just fine how they are and she not comment on their skin tone. Period!
Wish I could be there for that convo to CUSSSS HERRR OUTTTTT
tell the old cow that b don’t crack. Buy her some oil of old lay
U say something straight away…and infront of ur kids.so they learn to stand up for themselves in the face injustice show them strength
No you’re not overreacting. Don’t allow them to walk all over your boundaries!! Mama you’re doing awesome. Teach your babies how important it is to put boundaries in place. If the family can’t respect/ stop what bother you guys then either limit the time spent together or just firmly tell them if they can’t respect your children they can’t see them.
That’s low-key being racist my mum used to always say stuff like this about my daughter when I had my 3rd daughter and was born she didn’t ask how was the baby when she was just born the 1st thing she said was how dark is she smh my kids no longer see her they don’t need that negativity whatsoever in there lives please speak with the kids dad as she’s saying stuff that is absolutely out of order
Nah fuck that dont let her see them she sounds racist
I agree something needs to be said. She shouldn’t make a comment like that about you or her grandkids. I’d be pissed for sure.
Oh hell no. Tell your ex now. Mil shouldnt be saying that sort of thing to either of your children. And if hes a good dad he wont want his choldren hurt intentionally or not.
No you’re not overreacting! Speak to MIL and ex husband. Don’t be too concerned about rubbing her the wrong way… look what she’s doing to your children. Stand up for your kids! 
Mama, I am white, my kids are half latin (mil is full latina) and I have gone through similar. My mil talks to me in a similar way, I have 8 kids, my last baby is only a week old and she has told me prior on how I’ve “gotten fat” when I first met her son I was 150lbs and had 2 kids. I am now 220 (1 week post partum) and I stand 5’10. I get comments all the time on how my kids “act too white” because they don’t speak Spanish, because they are light (like a light tan in color and darken in summer). Best thing you can do is let dad know you are not going to tolerate it then let mil know the same. Let her know if she wants to be toxic she can get cut off. Protect your babies and yourself. If you don’t speak up and set boundaries it’ll only get worse.
My granddaughter is mixed. My daughter white father black. She has the prettiest complexion, yes in summer she gets darkkkkk I’d never even think of saying something like that . She’s beautiful. Say something you need to stand up for your babies
I wouldn’t let my kids go around her she sounds so toxic. You don’t have to put up with that or let it happen in front of your kids
Racist B* If it’s messing with your childrens thoughts and going against your teachings - don’t take them back there. I wouldn’t. My kids are mixed and I’m Native American. My daughters were saying they want a tan like mine and don’t want to be white so I understand completely. I tell ‘em that their beautiful and assure them. My family is toxic and I don’t allow my children to be around them too long or stay the night at all.
She’s completely in the wrong . You have to stand up to her asap
Nope, nip it in the butt now before your kids develop problems that require “medication”. They probably already need to see a therapist tho making a comment like that. Children may be young but they understand more than we did at that age cause of tech. Your children need to feel safe everywhere they go. Even to Grandma’s. It’s emotional abuse and if you let it continue, your condoning it. Now granted you didn’t know how to handle it but like you said put your yourself in your kids shoes and answer your own question. There’s your answer… Do not stay quiet to “keep the peace”
No you are not over reacting. You are right to speak up. These people are showing their stupidity. And they also know they are hurting your feelings. Always stand up for yourself!
What an ugly character she’s got.I would cut ties with her.What does she think she is? Mrs.perfect? Shame on her.
Why you haven’t put a boot up her ass yet is beyond me…but I wouldn’t think twice about speaking up …it’s underhanded racism flat out
No you are not You are protecting your babies. I would have a PrIVATE convo with MIL to let her know some of her comments are hurtful. If she has a relationship with your children I think she cares for them & doesn’t intend to hurt them or offend you. I would also let my kids know that their feelings are important. If MIL doesn’t “get it” then it’ll be time to bring out a more intense discussion. My mother was insensitive & I cut her off from my kids for their sakes
She may not mean harm, but it doesn’t mean she isn’t causing it.
She’s ignorant, and needs to be educated.
How she responds after that will tell you all you need to know.
Say something that is crazy I have a sweet little girl who is also 5 and mixed and I would have lost it if someone would say things like that to her….
No! You’re jot overeacting!.they will give your kids a complex if you let them keep saying such things or cause your babies to be uncomfortable or hav low self esteem. Nip it in the bud!
Say something. She needs to keep her hateful mouth shut.
Stay away from her and/or tell dad to handle it if not resort to my first comment…stay away from her
It wasn’t about race, she was just a toxic person & I wouldn’t let her do to mine what she did to her own kids
Sounds like she tends to stop when she’s called out on things, so call her out on it and set up some healthy boundaries. Your also a huge role model for your kids, let them see you stand up for them and yourself to show them it’s ok to be just the way you are! Everyone is beautiful in there own way!
Speak up for your kids!! And for yourself too
Absolutely horrendous! She needs to know the damage she’s causing to the children’s self esteem as well as your own. She may just be ignorant. But it is inexcusable what damage she’s doing
Protect your children. Unless you call her out she’ll keep doing it. Seems to be jealous/envious.
I would absolutely say something because number one, it bothers you and number two, it bothers your daughter and number three…… it’s ABSOLUTELY NOT OKAY! I see people get their feelings hurt by comments so often and the other person doesn’t realize what they’re saying is not only hurtful but inappropriate and nobody says anything to correct it. I have mixed family and girl…… those kids are gorgeous!! It doesn’t have to be a whole argument I’d pull her to the side and say hey look I don’t know if you meant it wrong but those things are very hurtful not only to me but my children and that’s not ok! Prayers for you and those babies that she understands where you’re coming from and is woman enough to apologize and fix it!
You are definitely not overreacting.
Stop keeping your mouth closed and speak up for your children and yourself…mil, ex or not is % in the wrong…your ex is % wrong…you are the voice of your children and it’s up to YOU to make sure that they believe in themselves, that they have a healthy self esteem about themselves, because if you don’t…then you are just as guilty for not doing all you can for them…If you think that what I said was hard…put yourself in your children shoes…you’re already see the results of the negative garbage…didn’t your daughter stated she wants to be “white”?..put your big girl panties on and do the right thing for your children
I would tell her if she keeps on commenting on such things your not going to have your kids be around her. It’s not ok. Heck that mentally just blows my mind. Me and my sister was shamed by my grandmother for being to fat… we were teens and my sister never, forgave her for it. Kids remember, the funny thing is my grandma was fat. Idk I would not put up with it.
No you are not. Your MIL is rude and maybe she doesn’t realize that’s not ok. Just tell her and meybe she’ll understand.
First remind her that the children are a product of her SON so when she says something bad she is shaming her son If your man can not stand to his LOSER mom than you need to leave him. Pussboy.
You’re not over reacting … Speak your mind but mind your tongue … Let her know how much it hurts your children & you when she says things like that …
No
And the fact that she has to be reminded over and over again is disrespectful.
These are her grandchildren she’s constantly offending.
She’s blessed to still have access.
Oh my gosh, people like that make my blood boil. You are NOT overreacting. You have to be a voice for your children. That means things will get uncomfortable but the only way to learn is to address the uncomfortable. 2 of my blood cousins are half black. I also have blood cousins who are half Japanese and another set of cousins who are half Hispanic. Good luck to you. Stick it to them and don’t hold back. I’m praying for you and your kids. I hope everything works out