So my ex of 11 year and I split up for good in nov 2019. He left the house 3 mos behind on the mortgage payment. I had to take a loan out to pay it off. For some reason he thinks that for the 4 years he lived here he should have say on who comes here to my house. I pay for everything here and have been since nov 2019. He has a fiance which is weird in itself cuz we are not divorced because he wont give it to me.im glad he is moved on and happy. But now he is stuck on this is his kids house so I cant have a man here in the future. Where does this make sense? Do you think it’s a control tactic?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My ex refuses to allow me to have men in my house: Advice?
Control tactic
Live your life
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Pure control and just being and assh*le
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You do what you want! Tell him to get lit
Yeah control tactic. He no longer can say shit and needs to stay in his lane.
Why’re you even entertaining him?
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Control tactic.
Document everything and protect yourself.
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Of course it’s a control tactic and you shouldn’t pay him any mind. He does not own you or your home and you should laugh this off as the nonsense that it is. Foolishness! Live your life and serve that man with divorce papers depending on the state— after so long, it will be pushed through whether he likes it or signs it or not
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Why are you even discussing this with him???
Of COURSE it’s about CONTROL!!
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File for divorce. He doesn’t have to give it to you. It may take longer but you can absolutely get your divorce! Tell him to get fucked and you do you
even in the court he has no say
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So how is he stopping these men from coming to your house?
Showing up? Call the police. It’s your house. He must have another address.
Texts? Ignore them.
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Control tactic live your life the way you want to document everything an go see a lawyer an protect your self
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None of his business what you do in your house. He has no say that stopped the day he walked out. You can apply for a divorce it will cost you to do it though but you can start the ball rolling.
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Bahahahaha!! He has no say NoR control over you anymore!! Entertain to your heart’s content!
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yup. stop letting him control u and just fucking do it…and usually after 2yrs divorce can be finalized with out the others signature 
File for divorce. Not his business who comes to, stays at house
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Complete control tactic.
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He ain’t over you lol fiance is a cover up. I feel bad for her. You live your life. He’s no longer your problem.
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girl… tell that little boy that he can start paying your bills on time and in full if he wants to control your household. Get the divorce papers and give them to his fiance. If she wants him bad enough, she’ll make him sign those bitches lol.
Yes it’s a control tactic. He has no say what you do with your life and who you be with. Men like him have this sick fixation on controlling women even after they’ve clearly moved on. Also piece of advice you don’t have to wait on him to give you a divorce. You go file for the divorce. Then have the paperwork sent to him thru certified mail that he has to sign (him only) and you can also have it delivered by a sheriff deputy too. Once he gets the paperwork yeah he can contest it but once a judge hears that he’s engaged to another woman the judge will more than likely grant you a divorce. You don’t need to wait on him like I said. Don’t let this man control you no more.
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How is what you do ANY of his business???
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Why are you entertaining this foolishness…
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Why are you allowing him to dictate what goes on in your home? Stop engaging it’s not his business
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Yeah he is trying to control you which is why he won’t give you a divorce.
Like you said , it’s your house . Tell him he left , he has no say so at all in what goes on in YOUR house .
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Why are you even telling him who’s coming to your home? Stop doing that
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Control tactic yeah. If you fully pay for it and he pays nothing, he has NO say.
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He’s trying to control you. Tell him to piss off.
You don’t need his permission to divorce just file and do it. Eventually the judge will order it without his signature.
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He just wants to keep control of you and your life.
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It’s absolutely a control tactic. I honestly wouldn’t bring anyone new home to meet the kids until you know it’s serious, but I’m sure they spend time elsewhere (hopefully with their father). But what you do is up to you; he has no right to tell you how to live your life anymore. He gave that up when you two separated.
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I wouldn’t pay him no mind. That’s control for sure. U do what u want. It’s your house.
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When I was kid it was actually in my parents divorce that neither parent was allowed to have anyone of the opposite sex over night when the children where there. So what happened my mom remarried to quick 
Why do you have to ask him?
Its none of his business at this point.And you need to put him in his place.
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Why you have to ask him?
He moved out n moved on, he doesn’t want to help you etc, but wants to control you, divorce his ass, you don’t need or deserve his BS, start enjoying your freedom, live your life!
You need a good lawyer… Nobody can force you to remain married… Also get custody determined by a judge, child support, and see what you can do about having the house on your name. Just talk to a lawyer ASAP and don’t entertain his wishes.
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Ew he doesn’t get a say.
He has no say who comes and goes since he pays u nothing and I hope u seek child support…he needs to pay for the care of his kids
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Fuck all that!!! Y’all are NOT together; YOU CAN DO AS YOU PLEASE EVEN IF THATS TRACKING MEN UP AND DOWN AND IN AND OUT YOUR HOUSE!! Even if you just want one man;it AIN’T HIS BUSINESS!!
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Get a lawyer and be done. He has no say in anything you do with your life. Tell him to shut up and worry about his own life.
Key word
EX
Girl grow up he’s your ex
You can do as you please
He ain’t your daddy and y’all ain’t together so he has no say so
Y’all went separate ways
So do you boo
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Screw him he can’t tell you who to have in a house you pay for. None of his business. I wouldn’t even speak to him unless it’s because of your child. I would tell him to fk off in a heartbeat.
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LMAO I would hook up with someone so fast make sure he knew about it too
What’s he gonna do? Nothing but flap his word hole
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He’s definitely trying to still control you. You do not need his permission to have anyone in YOUR home
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Tell him to go screw himself. You’re an adult. Why would you even allow him to tell you who can and cannot come into your home? You’re allowing him to control you and until you stop allowing that, it will continue. File for divorce and move on. He may not “want” to give you a divorce, but he will have to give you a divorce if you file. Get control of your life.
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You already know the answer to this
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He cannot tell you who to have in your home. He wants you single and miserable.
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Tell him to back off, he has no say so. Get with good lawyer right away. Custody and divorce.
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Take away his power of letting or not letting you do anything. He is probably amazed that you’re putting up with him doing it now.
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You ignore him and carry on with your life. It’s none of his business and you do not answer to him anymore.
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My ex husband actually had it put in our divorce papers that no male (unless family) could stay the night at my residence while minor child was there. Just ridiculous the links men will go to so they can always have that control.
I would call his fiancé and tell her to check her man or you will lol
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Laugh in his face while you sit on the porch sipping lemonade with your new boyfriend! Eff him!
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He has no control of your house
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All control, ignore him! Go fe for divorce yourself. You have been separated long enough to file even if he does not want it! The fact that he is engaged to someone else, gives you grounds!
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He is an ex for a reason! It’s your house!
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He cannot do that stand up for yourself if you have too call the law
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Not his business. Send the messages to his fiancee and ask her to make him sign divorce.
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The fact you’re listening to him says more about you. Bring ALLLLLLL the guys over now oh n btw, you can file yourself
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This is more then hilarious…
Girl… bring ALL THE MEN there… he has absolutely NO SAY in who you have at YOUR HOUSE.
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Okay the little bit it cost to have him served divorce papers. If after so long he doesn’t respond, the judge will give a date and give you the divorce without him there and then you can ask for whatever you want 
if he harasses you about it, call the cops on him. Show him you mean what you say and that your not playing his games anymore.
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Ummm he can say all he wants, however my house my rules. If he shows up call the cops!
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Just ignore the drama. File divorce yourself. And only communicate about the kid’s.
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He has absolutely no say what so ever
How did you last so long with such a controlling person? His refusal for divorce, is simply to further control you. Given that he feels entitled to dictate who can and can’t go to your home, have you changed the locks? If not, you probably should. I’d also invest in an alarm system. If he’s that controlling, whose to say that he’s not going through your stuff when no one’s home?
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Be has no control over that, stop allowing him too. It’s ridiculous
Literally tell him to go f*** himself
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The fact that u think he can control u like that lol
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He has no control who’s in your house. Let his fiance in on it and tell her he won’t divorce u and tries to tell you that you can’t have men in your home when yall aren’t together anymore. Sure she won’t feel so happy about that.
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Control. Remind him it goes both ways and that it only applies for overnight visits…which he will have to stop having also
My “brother” had a clause put into his custody agreement that neither him or his ex could have overnight guests of the opposite sex. It is possible. But he can’t keep you from having people over unless he can prove they are a danger to the kids. My sister learned that one. My brothers ex flipped him the bird and got herself a girlfriend. And there was nothing he could do about it.
He has no say! Yous are separated. That is you’re house now. You can have however you want in that house!
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I would team up with the wife to be to encourage him to put the divorce in motion
So that they can get married after all it’s what he wants why is he holding back so much making her wait help them along 
…
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Don’t let him dictate who comes to your house …Have all your boyfriend’s there if you want to …Live the single life to the fullest & be happy !!
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I think you ought to file for divorce and stop twiddling your thumbs. You know the answer to this. Get to it.
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It would be a very short conversation with him, you can have who.you want in your own home
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Its your house he CAN’T tell you who can be at your house! What do you mean he won’t give you a divorce? File it and go to court. A judge will grant the divorce. Not his choice especially since he’s engaged! Stop letting an EX controls your life! He’s moved on and SO CAN YOU!
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Screw him. You can have a boyfriend over. Tell him well I don’t want strange females around my kids you need to file.
Have him served, change the locks/get alarm system, cut all contact with him except through he court/attorney, do as you please, contact police if he comes to your home. Unless you and he both OWN the home he has no control over what you do there. If you are renting and paying for the bills make sue they are all in your name alone. He can tell you whatever he likes, you can choose if you listen or not. He quite literally has no control over any of the situation.
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You have the right to go to a lawyer and divorce him. If your children are less than 18 he may have the right to see them. Otherwise he will be out of your life. Good luck
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Get the divorce papers and make him sign them right in front of her.
Don’t let your ex control your life or your house. He’s got a girlfriend. You should start your divorce and if he doesn’t want to sign the Judge may go ahead and finalize it anyway. I have a friend who never signed her divorce and it went thru, her hubby remarried while she didn’t. Don’t let him dictate to you about anything! Pray and ask God for guidance and shop for a good lawyer!
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File for divorce now. If married he has rights to inherit if something happens to you. Rights to your retirement, rights to your bank account, rights to your property. There is no such thing as he won’t give you a divorce. It doesn’t work like that anymore. File and end the mess.
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Ya fuck that, Divorce and do as you please. He sounds like a freak.
Lmao I would tell him to eat a bag of dicks🤣 he clearly thinks he has some sort of control over you. Sounds like he doesnt want you but doesnt want anyone else to want you in case this new thing doesnt work out! So he has a backup
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He has not moved on and he has no say lmfao
He has no say and he can go away with that shit.
I’m confused why you’re even worried about what he says, he’s trying to maintain control from a distance…ignore him.
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…wouldn’t even be a conversation. He’d be blabbing and I’d be closing the door.
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#1 he won’t give you a divorce? File for divorce you don’t have to get his permission. #2 Change the locks and live your life he doesn’t have any right to say anything about who is in your house unless it puts your children in danger etc. You need to get in front of this NOW and start the process of filing for a divorce you don’t have to inform him that you’re doing so the court will when they have the divorce papers served so make sure you have current address and/or current place of employment etc etc. #3 he has been gone since 2019! And u been cleaning up the financial mess etc? Make sure if you haven’t already that you start removing his name etc from simple things like electric, gas ,phone etc etc bills. Also curious? Your not together but not divorced so does he contribute any type of support to the children?. Either way you need to file and get the ball rolling on all this divorce child support etc etc. Because as extreme as it sounds he could pick the kids up tomorrow and decide to leave, disappear, not give them back etc and legally he can because without a divorce and a legal custody agreement etc in place he could do that and u wouldn’t have and legal grounds because your still married and he is their father. But like I said that’s the extreme but it happens. Never say never. Good luck
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your ex??? hahahahaha ok
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He has no say so! He moved on and u should too! With any man u choose to in your home!
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He seems like the type of guy to kill you if you did. Make sure you get some protection and learn to use it. I would personally move and tell my son not to tell daddy the address and then move on with my life.
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Tell him to go F himself. Seriously tho he has no say in who u bring into your home and he’s got a new fiancée? I’m going to assume she’s in his house? He’s trying to control you and for that I repeat myself. Tell him to F off.
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Tell him to mind his business lol