So my ex and I split up in the beginning of August. I have an 11 yo daughter from a previous relationship that I have full custody of. Ex was told he is to have no contact with my daughter. But he keeps texting her. Putting her picture on his Facebook. I feel like there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I guess my question is, at what point does this become harassment? At what point does him putting her pictures on his public social media violate her privacy? Even when we were together he wasn’t exactly father material, he definitely isn’t now that we have separated. He’s toxic, manipulative, and narcissistic. How can I stop this without having to change her number? How do I get him to leave her alone? He doesn’t message me, just my child. Hes not saying anything wrong tbh, just that ge loves and misses her, but he was told not to contact her. In wv for reference.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My ex won't stop contacting our daughter
Report to police and social media platforms that someone is posting your/your child’s pictures without permission.
dude let him have a relationship.
If he loves her & misses her, why would you remove that from their lives? Don’t make a void where one doesn’t need to be.
If there’s a court order for Non Contact, any contact is illegal and harassment.
You file with the court.
Then, block his number from everything. Block him on all social media platforms.
my mom did this shit to me & it fucked me
up for a very long time.
If it’s a concern and your daughter does not want it either, consult the courts about a protection from harassment order.
He can post whatever he wants unfortunately. But it became harassment the first time he contacted her after order was issued.
If he is not her father and is contacting her repeatedly against your wishes then you need to go to the police. He has no right to a child who isn’t his.
If it is his child, you cannot stop him from contacting his child without a court order,and you aren’t going to get one simply because you want one. He has rights to his child and the only person who can stop that is a judge.
Get a PFA that is beyond inappropriate and crossing boundaries
I don’t get all the comments about a no contact order she just said he was told . Change her number , block him on her socials .
Change her number, her social media accounts. If he is refusing to stop contacting her After you’ve asked multiple times. Put a restraining order on him.
Block his number directly from her phone,
If this isn’t his kid and y’all split up he has no right to message her he has no legal say over her at all he has no rights. You said he was told to have no contact with her was that by you or the courts? Either way it doesn’t matter because if she doesn’t belong to him he has no rights to her
Is he Her father or just your ex
Forget about the number and change it. He’s not her father, he’s a narcissist as you say and being manipulative. The police won’t do anything about his post on social media. But any ex who chooses to continue a relationship with a child after court ordered not to, you need to protect. He’s keeping tabs on you threw her and she learn what healthy relationships are.
Is he grooming her for exploration?
One day that little
Girl will be happy to have those pictures and be happy he was trying. I’ve been there before but man your kids will chose and speak up eventually. Don’t be the mom that stops her from having two parents…that’s how she got here in the first place.
Block him, call the police
Does she want to have contact with him? How long was he involved in her life? She might be texting him and he be replying. Depending on the length of the relationship, they may have formed a bond that can’t be broken overnight and she may be scared to bring it to your attention.
PEDOPHILE! Get A restraining order so if he does contact her or post her he can get in trouble. She’s a minor the law will be on your side!
Block him on her pH or change her number, do a report to cops just for future reference if needed. Givs me the pedo vibe.
That’s disturbing if he’s not even her father
Why wouldn’t you contact police
Document and lawyer up! Ain’t nobody got time for that crap, he can kick rocks. Children should not be used as pawns, my dad did this shit after he called me a worthless piece of shit for not wanting to visit him due to our truck being near death. I blocked and deleted everything but he still continued to share my fat bois pictures talking shit about how he was going to take me to court for grandparent alienation. I was adopted at an early age and just reached out this past May. The only thing that made him stop was when I called my “dad” cousin (he’s a significant amount older than me but my earliest memories are of him taking care of me) and he straight up told him he was going to call the cops and if he continued after law enforcement got involved he was going to kick his ass. I hope it goes smoothly, narcissistics are the worst!
Change her number, then he won’t have it.
That is a classic way for ex to try to get to you, through the child. Also, the fact he cannot see it is not okay is a huge concern. Please be careful. He is not “over it” and the proof is right here using a young child. You’ve already told him no. Next step is block him, of course I’m sure she knows to not engage. Keep all evidence. She is a minor and you are not okay with what he is doing, it’s time to take it up to family court. So stressful and I’m so sorry. I’ve been here before and it is frightening.
I kept in contact with my ex’s daughter after we split. I was her bonus mom for 9 years. She has even lived with me since the split. Her kids call me nana. I will always consider her my daughter. It’s not always bad.
He’s doing this to get to you. This is a narcissistic at its finest, he’s going to try to stay close to her to stay close to you. I would change her number and if you feel a no contact order should be placed I would do that too.
No one has said if the girl likes the relationship with him. If the girl wants him to quit contacting her then get a court order but if the girl keeps reaching out herself because she sees him as a father figure it will be very difficult to do anything. You will not be able to block him because if she wants the relationship she will go ahead and go behind her back to have it.
His using her to get at you …
If he is posting her photo without yours or her concent, that is a violation. Call the police and get a restraining order.
This all depends on what your daughter thinks and wants. You have to put your feelings aside in this case
. If he is an ex (and not her biological father) than get a restraining order done. Take him to court for harassment and get you and her a Protection Order. Change her phone number. Call Police and tell them. Also have evidence of him posting things on he’s social account.
. If he is her biological father than, there is nothing you can do as she is he’s daughter as well and he deserves to have contact with he’s daughter as long as he’s not doing anything that’s wrong and when I say wrong I mean calling/texting after bedtime, texting/calling when she’s at school in class, telling her anything about you guys fighting (that’s emotional and mental abuse). As examples.
I, didn’t even read the whole post… He wouldn’t be doing that with my 11 year old! I have 3 girls… I’ll be damned! No way NOPE!
Definitely change her number. It’s so creepy. I don’t know how long y’all dated which would make a big difference in the situation but if he wanted to stay in touch with your daughter he should be writing you about it not her.
She said ex won’t stop contacting “OUR” Daughter. Idk what the situation is but it had to be bad for him not to have no contact with the daughter.
Change her number and delete her FBP, start there!
Shes a minor. You have custody. He has no rights to contact hwr or post her picture without permission. Seek help from your local womans shelter or court.you need to provide documentarion of his actions (screenshots lrinted usually work) and get a restraiming order.
Isn’t just about you. This is a loss for your child. What does SHE want? Respect that
File a police report. Get a restraining order
Honestly I would talk to your daughter about it and you both can decide from there. It’s her body. Her privacy that’s being violated. If she doesn’t care, then what can you do? She’s going to have a say eventually anyway. Talk to her about it. Why is there a no contact order to begin with if he’s not doing anything wrong? Hopefully you’re not being spiteful.
Why would you not change her number?
How long were you guys together and How does your daughter feel about him contacting her?
If it’s not an issue for your daughter then why are you making it an issue? I was older then your daughter when my dad and step mom split up but they had been together a majority of my life. My dad was not impressed that my sister and I remained in contact with her but despite all their issues- she still played an important role in our lives. I can tell you I felt resentful at my dad for not wanting us to remain in contact with her. It’s still a sore subject when her name is brought up. Perhaps you should ask your daughter how she feels first.
How long was you with him for to be in her life maybe.
Uhh… sounds kinda like grooming…
As a kid I went through similar… and it WAS grooming…
Block his number from her phone, and report all pics through fb he has shared …
To many questions of no details… Who told him no contact? How long was he in role of dad? Did he post pictures during relationship as “my daughter”?
Seems like your feelings might be a little involved n he’s just trying to be a dad still… But,
Ehhh. Need more context. How long were you together? Is he like a father figure to her? Does she call him Dad? Does she want him contacting her?
There’s info missing from this post that could provide clarification about your situation. You wrote “our daughter” in the first line. Did he have a father-daughter relationship with your child? Did your ex play a caregiving role for your daughter when you were together? Does she call him dad? Did he live with you and your daughter? How long was your relationship? In Canada, being in a regular caregiving role of a child, a non biological parent can be considered in court as a de facto parent with rights similar to a biological parent. Is there a no contact order in place between him and your daughter for safety reasons?
Who pays for her phone? Block all of his numbers from her phone and any other ways he has of contacting her. Make your Facebook private and don’t post pictures of her. Share privately with people you want to have them.
Block his number from her phone. Or better yet, change her number.
If he is just being a father figure. Man that was a good man to still take in consideration and have a love to listen than most dead beat dads. He took on you and your mini. It takes a lot to do that and to show it even thru rough patches… bravo
You can block him on everything
Be careful with your daughter. There may be more to this
What’s stopping you from changing her number? That’s the simplest solution here. Then if he manages to contact her again file a harassment report.
Who told him he can’t contact her and why?
Little girl? Says who? Not the mother. Maybe she’s older…and mom is being spiteful.
Depending on how long you guys were together it would be hard for them to just stop have a father-daughter relationship. If he’s not being weird or bad mouthing you what is the problem? You choose to involve him and them in turn have some type of paternal relationship. That would be hard to just stop just because you two didn’t work out. I would talk to your daughter on what she wants to happen
You say “he was told” twice. He was told through the court, or just you not wanting him to contact your daughter? Is she also his daughter?
If your daughter is uncomfortable, then make it an issue. If not, leave it alone.
My stepfather left my mom when I was in my last year of high school. And I never contacted him again. Not because my mom asked me not to, but because I just didn’t want to. My mom was thrown into a very bad depression state and I had no ride to school from her. So I found my own way to school without my stepfather in our lives anymore. He’s been in my brother’s (R. I. P. Bubba) and mine live since we were about 4-5ish. But that last time I ever saw him was at my brother’s funeral in August this year. After almost 10 years no contact, my mom didn’t even recognize him.
So just don’t make it an issue unless your daughter starts to feel like it’s an issue.
You can block his number from her phone.
And if it continues then save the messages from him and go to police and file a restraining order against him.
You can go get a restraining order against him if you really don’t want him contacting her in any way
Okay, something is missing here, does he have a court order in place that he is violated? If so, that’s the problem. If is not such of thing as court order, then you need to be careful how and with what purposes he is approaching your daughter.
You’re missing allot of important bits. I agree with allot of these other people about how long you guys were together and if he played the role of dad who told him he can’t talk to her and what not but my advice would also rest in the reasons you guys split up. If he was abusive none of that matters unless he’s on her birth certificate and I’d just block him other wise if he and your daughter were close id leave it alone. It’s not hurting anything but your ego at that point.
So report it!!! What do you mean you have no control???
Your daughter can block and not reply to his messages. Maybe a restraining order? Who said they couldn’t talk? Is he talking inappropriately to her? Or are you just being bitter because they still talk?
Depends how long his been in her life ? Perhaps his played step dad since she was 2 - which means that’s perfectly okay!
It should be up to your daughter tho-
If his only new in her life- then it’s creepy.
Is he really a bad father? Or you are just mad at him?? Why is the reason he was order not to contact her?? If you are gonna say that, say the reason so we can understand
Unfortunately pictures posted on a public social platform can be used without your permission which is why I rarely post my children, nothing police can do about that. I would not post anything about her on social media anymore & make it very clear to her, she is not to respond to him. I would get a restraining order/no contact order. Make sure you document everything, if you have not already moving forward.
Contact Facebook and let them now that he’s not the father and he doesn’t have permission to post your daughters pictures. Then contact the phone company and tell them that the step dad is harassing your daughter and he’s to have no contact with her and you want his phone # blocked from her phone by text and calling.
That’s really creepy, especially since he is constantly trying to contact your daughter and posting her pictures on Facebook. He isn’t her father.
Talk with your daughter, you may need to change her number and stop yourself from checking his social media
Report every single picture to Facebook and block his number from her phone.
How long were you guys together?
Who told him he couldn’t contact her?
I mean to be honest it’s super easy to just block him from her phone and social media, would’ve taken less time than typing all this out…
Report it to the police if there is a no contact order in place…
You have the ultimate say as she is under 18 and the safeguarding etc lays with you.
If he is a narcissist etc…he is doing this to hurt you…Is his actions in the best interest of the child …if the answer is no…then block his number x
Why can’t you change her number:thinking:
He cares for her, what the heck is wrong with you??
‘Even when we were together he wasn’t exactly father material’ yet you still let him round your little girl. Well done Mama you let her down
This is disgusting! You bought this man into her life and he treated her like his own. That’s really unfair to think their relationship has to stop because you guys are over. Unless he’s done something wrong to the child or violent ect then there is no reason for you to stop him. He could be a great influence on her future.
Don’t be petty just cause yall broke up. If she is messaging him back that means she wants him in her life. She may see him as a father figure and for you to cut him completely out of her life just because he isn’t her biological father is gross
Get a restraining order
Report his media until your blue in the face. Log down all his contact. File a ppo on him.
It’s not easy to just attain full custody so I can only imagine the danger that man can be.
Get your kids number changed, or a new phone.
Block him on all social media.
I’m sorry you are going through this and so many negative comments but you did bring him into your life and depending on how long you was nothing he was use to seeing her bad person or not maybe he does miss her see what he wants say he can see her on your terms go from there maybe he’s doing it to get your attention then block and more but ask your self why? I hope you get it fingered out .it is hard having someone in your child life and things end ask if you doing it for her or you? Good luck
If he is violating a court order, you need to contact your lawyer.
Just please no more kids
Omg so he is trying to use your daughter to probably get back with you, or maybe so the daughter can talk to you about you going back with him… he sounds manipulative since you said he wasn’t father material while yall were together… seems like he is trying to gain control of you through your daughter!!! Get a lawyer since he is violating a court order.
Shut up and change her number.
I’m guessing he’s sexually assaulted the child or something less serious? Block him on everything.
You sound like an absolute pos
Is it making your daughter uncomfortable? If so have her text him that or tell him on the phone to please stop contacting her and then block his number. This is a good time to begin teaching your daughter to be her own advocate with your support. Then block his number.
If there’s a court order in place stating that he isn’t allowed to contact her, show your attorney and they’ll file charges for you since he’d be breaking a no contact order. I had this happen with a friend and she showed her ex’s p.o. and he got in a lot of trouble and spent a couple months in jail for it
what i find weird is why is this man obsessed with a child that’s not even his to begin with. If that’s not sketchy as fuck idk what is.
Here we go another karen
Wow, these comments.
Block his number and have her block him on all social media. There’s a reason he’s court ordered no contact. Enforce it. You’re legally within your right to do so.
If you don’t know the answer to your Own question….you need help or maybe your Daughter does. How would you not know what to do ? For whatever the reason was he was evidently told by the Judge to have no contact with your daughter. So… what part of That don’t you know how to protect from your daughter?? Get on the phone Yourself and verbally ( and recorded ) tell him to stop talking to her and posting stuff about her immediately. No arguing. Hang up.
“ Foretold is Forewarned “ as the saying goes. If he continues… say nothing more …. and proceed to take legal measures. That is not even his biological daughter….and she seems bothered. Protect your daughter….simple as that.
How about being an adult and tell him it’s not appropriate for him to continue to contact your daughter and does not need to try and manipulate a father figure to her when clearly he’s not and eventually there maybe in the future
Geez, what part of NOT HIS BIO DAUGHTER don’t people get? Did no one read he’s “toxic, manipulative and narcissistic”? That he is not contacting the mom at all, just the 11 year old girl? He sounds creepy AF!!!Sounds like he’s trying to groom her for abuse.
Yes to an official restraining or no-contact order, yes to reporting any violations. The police can’t do much to stop him from violating the orders but having things reported and in the files can help you both later in court. Yes to blocking his number on her phone & all social media, yes to changing numbers and accounts if that doesn’t work.
Also get motion sensor lights & alarms for your home & teach your daughter what to do if he tries to kidnap her. Yelling “Help! This is not my father!!” is a start. There’s also something called Escape School for kids.
Congratulations on getting the both of you away from him.
BTW, where is daughter’s bio dad in this picture?
So he’s not allowed any contact with a child he helped raise and has formed a bond with? Seems a bit petty on your part.
Also, were you the one who told him he’s to have no contact with your daughter or was it an order through the courts?
Block his number on her phone. And if he calls private…tell her not to answer… seeing from the comments…Im guessing he’s also court ordered to not contact your daughter? Be a mother and an adult and call the freakn cops. Duh. Show them what hes doing. What a fuckn weirdo he’s being. Ew. Protect your daughter damnit. Wtf.