My family only seems to want me around when I have money...advice?

I am at my whits end with this… my side of the family wants NOTHING like absolutely nothing to so with my little family in my house. They never want us at family gatherings, they never tell us when they “make plans” for the family to get together in town, they never call, honestly I feel like they aren’t even the family I grew up knowing. The only time they want me, my daughter and my husband around is when we have money and they know we will do for them. Like last week we got our taxes back my mom randomly called and asked if I would take her to the store to get a few things she needed… I ended up spending $600+ on her! Ever since she hasn’t called, hasn’t text, haven’t heard a word from her. I just got on Facebook and seen where they had a big gathering at her house with all of my dad’s sisters and brothers, my moms sisters and all of their kids. I never would have known had I not seen the photos. I am just sick to my stomach for accepting this in my life.

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Ditch them, how did she know you got your taxes, I learned long ago, keep your finances quiet especially when it comes to “part time family”…

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They are not family! They are users you share dna with. Love yourself and cut all contact with them. You deserve better.

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Try to stop letting everyone know when yall have money, family and friends included. Be successful in silence and you’ll see who weeds themselves out. It hurts but it’s better than being used over and over again. I would tell them how you feel and then go little to no contact. If they want you in their lives they need to make an effort because it sounds like you bend over backwards for them with nothing gained except heart ache. Best of luck

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its not just your family. start saying NO and stop enabling that behavour and you’ll see that they become distant strangers. it hurts but must be done

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You don’t get to chose your family but you can chose your friends and sometimes they are closer than family but you can chose what family members you want in your life

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Then don’t. You keep putting yourself through it, when you clearly can stop. That’s pretty shitty for your family to do to you. Best believe I wouldn’t even bother trying to talk to my family if that happened to me. You have a little family just start making happy memories with them and let the rest of the family run like water off your back. I’m sorry you’re going through this, but it’s for your own good to escape their unfair treatment of you.

I would cut them out if your life or set up hard boundaries. Especially after you bought her groceries to have a party and not even invite you to

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There is a difference between family and relatives. Know the difference and love your tribe that is there for you

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Sounds like they are toxic. I would stop doing anything for them and don’t let anyone know you have money. As bad as it sounds they are using you and if you don’t stop it will continue. You all focus on your little family. Y’all go out and have family time and spend that money on Y’all.

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They just aren’t in to you. I’m sorry they are suing you. Stop being involved with people like that.

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Did you ask them why they don’t include you in family events? Maybe get some insights from several family members as to your behavior around them. If there’s no reason or no good reason, cut them out of your life and stop doing for them. Find the circle of people who love you and hang with them instead.

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Sounds like you might be bragging about your money, even if it’s unintentional. So they might not want to be around you bectuiu talk about it often enough for them to know but want to take advantage because they know they can.

Why do they know when you have money? Also, it’s as easy as saying no & accepting that they aren’t your people.

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Sounds like you funded the get together that they had . Time to say no , don’t even let them know when you have money .

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I would have a talk with them and clearly tell them how I feel. After that I wouldn’t contact them again until they contact me. But I would refuse to talk them to the store for sure.

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Don’t tell them when you have money! Why spend that much money on your mom, for what?

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That’s just wrong, you don’t owe anybody anything , when they do call don’t answer .

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time for you to cut them off entirely

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Stop answering their calls they’re users.

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Stop dealing w them…mabey confront them and move on…

SAY NO. Its so unfair to you. I was in a situation like that. I strated saying NO. I feel so much better. Match their energy.

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Stop accepting this treatment. 600 dollars to someone who won’t even call you! You giving them money will not get them to love you. They use you. Nothing more. How did they know you got your taxes back? Keep you personal and financial business to yourself.

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Why come on here and ask the stupid question you have to be the one let them know that you got the money sounds like a power trip to me

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They are just using you, why are you letting them? Cut the cord

Stop doing for them,stop reaching out to them you will not change these people, I assume they have been this way all Your life… at some point you need to stop seeking their approval and come to terms that they are trash blood or not

If you never talk to your mom ‘unless you have money’ how does she know when you have money? She can’t find out if you don’t tell her. Then why are spending $600 on her?

Have you asked her about these get together a you’re not invited to? Maybe there’s a reason.

So you bought everything furniture and didn’t even go. Bullshit. Families can really suck the big ones sometimes. Justnconcentrate on your family!

You are just being used so time to stop giving them any money and tell them that

I’m at the point in my life that I will cut you off without warning…blood or not. If they kill your vibe let them go.

Sadly I know this feeling. When I had money I had support. Now that things are not so great my 22 year old son hasn’t talked to me in over a year, wasn’t invited to my own brothers wedding, and no one calls. It’s so hard not to see it as having to do with money because my son talks to his dad cuz he has money and his girlfriends terrible family because they have money. It’s super heartbreaking and sucks to wish for money just to feel the love. I feel you so much. I jumped on your post so quick. Big hugs friend. Sometimes we need to decide to put ourselves and those who love us first. Take a time out from those who don’t feel good to have around. Xo Stacy