Hi, I’m not sure if this is as important as other ones you post; please keep this anonymous if you think it’s okay to post. My question is so forever I’ve wanted to be a mama. I’m 28, engaged to be married in a few months. My fiancé is 33, with a teenage son who lives with us—the best man and best friend I’ve ever known. I asked him the other day after we get married how soon he wants to start trying for a baby, and he said the day after we get married, lol. Now it all feels real! I’ve always talked about kids and want them so badly, but how did you mamas switch your mindset to can’t have kids yet can’t have kids yet to all the sudden holy crap go for it?! I’ve never questioned having kids, but now I have butterflies about it could really happen! Did anyone else have trouble feeling ready even though you know you are?
We never did plan ours, worked for us because we had absolute no issues conceiving! I find people who log etc” or decide to try and agree as such feel so much pressure it just prolongs conceiving and becomes more of a chore because you’re wanting it to happen. Advice would be, relax and go with the flow” all the best 
Enjoy some each other time first. Please. Cuz youll never get it again.
I always wanted kids from the time I was a teenager so for me it wasn’t an issue. It took longer than I wanted tho, 3 yrs. which looking back on it was actually a good thing cuz we, I anyway, was young, only 20 and we no way could have afforded it earlier…
You’re never ready, I’ll be honest.
If you wait til you’re “ready”, you’ll be waiting forever. There’s always one more reason, if you look for them. If you are financially stable and in a loving relationship, and you both want kids, then go for it! It’s challenging and life-changing, but the it’s best thing you’ll ever do.
It’s totally normal to have feelings like you might not be ready even if you know you are. It’s a huge life change so it’s not uncommon to get some nerves and jitters.
I was nervous about being ready right up until my son came out. I knew I was ready before I even got pregnant.
Always wanted them… more…like longed. I have endo though so I thought it was not possible so i stopped trying or even feeling ready… I’m now almost 25 weeks at almost 30… I dont feel ready. I dont think anyone really does and panicks.
I always wanted to be a mother but once I was married I was consumed with thoughts of getting pregnant. Cried every month when I wasn’t pregnant. Got pregnant about six months later and miscarriaged but got pregnant right away. One of my happiest days on earth was the birth of our child. Just go with it. Butterfly is normal.
imo you’re never ready for what life throws at you. If you’re ready you’re ready but being a parent is not perfect 24/7. It’s not like what you see on tv lol. There’s going to be ups n downs. You’re going to need breaks. Do not feel bad for making mistakes cause every single parent has made mistakes one way or another but most will not admit it. Ask for help if you feel overwhelmed.
I wasn’t ready but I wasn’t getting any younger. I stopped birth control pretty much right after we got married. We didn’t “try”. We just lived. And about a year later bam. Once I was pregnant I was so happy! And blessed every since.
I am on my 3rd baby and you never feel ready. I think it is just not knowing too. My first was at 18 and I had no idea what the hell I was doing. But once you feel the flutter or hear the heartbeat you just know everything will be alright.
Having a baby can be a big thing. And scary. But it is also an amazing thing. It’s okay to feel the way you do. Just try to focus on the things that excite you most about it and that you will be creating a human together. It’s not always perfect and sometimes it’s surprising but children are seriously the most amazing thing ever.
We started trying the week we were getting married and due to my husband leaving for boot camp and tech school we didn’t actually get pregnant until 6 months later when he was home on leave. It just happened to line up perfectly. I always say that you’re never really ready for kids, but you will always get there. Even when I got the first positive the two strongest emotions I felt were joy and fear because it was real.
I wanted so bad to have children, and that literally drove my choice to marry the first time. In hindsight, you’re never actually ready for it. Literally nothing you can do to prepare yourself. I wouldn’t worry too much about being “ready” as I would being certain that my partner and I were on the same page about how things should unfold with family dynamics.
Yes. It’s totally normal. It’s a huge life change but even though it’s the hardest job you’ll ever have it’s is the most rewarding and you look back and not know what you would have done without them. I’ve been a mom since I was 17
I don’t think you ever feel totally confident in that decision… but I don’t regret it. I found out I was 4 weeks pregnant 6 weeks after the wedding. Lol
But none of mine were planned
I don’t know if there really is a way. I had butterflies the whole time I was pregnant with my first daughter and was so nervous and excited. She is 1.5 yrs old now and I am 30 weeks pregnant with my second daughter and feel the same way! Just go for it and it will all work out how and when it is supposed! Becoming a mom is the best feeling in thr world thou!
I wasn’t ready when I found out I was pregnant but we got ready 
As in terms of house, nursery, and everything the baby needed. And even tho we had it all, no, you’re never really ready to have kids. My only negative thought before thinking of ever having a kid was “am I able to have kids?” I mean you don’t know until you get pregnant. Or don’t 
If you wait you’ll never be ready. Take the plunge, go with the flow, hope for the best prepare for the worse and pray for a happy healthy future baby or not
It’s a normal fear to have. I’m planning on getting pregnant with #3 in a month and I’m worried about the same thing. Do it!! You will be so happy you did
i chickened out when we were trying for a baby but i was 3 days to late:joy: but i wouldn’t change it for the world
Honestly, I’m not sure you’ll ever feel ready. It’s such a scary huge change that I think it’s impossible to feel totally ready without a hint of butterflies. When I found out that I was pregnant with my daughter, I was TERRIFIED, and some days I still get a little scared of this huge commitment. But she is the best thing I’ve ever done in my entire life, and waking up to see her smiling little face every morning is my greatest joy. It outweighs the scary parts, by far. 
I think it’s normal to be nervous! But i don’t know if you are actually ever “ready” it’s just something you know you want so you take the leap! Being a mom & having kids is the most rewarding, exhausting, wonderful, overwhelming, blessing you will ever have in your life! I wish you the best… good luck! 
I feel like you are never ready but you are a good age to have a baby. Once you hold that baby all those fears go away in my opinion and your now a mom. Congrats on the engagement and it’s ok to wait a little too so can enjoy each other because once have a child you are never alone again but it’s the best thing in the world 
Your feelings are 
normal and valid! Being responsible for another human life is scary and exciting all at the same time. The fact is, even when we are “ready” we are never really ready. Kids don’t come with instructions and it’s the hardest job you will ever have! It is however also the most loving and amazing adventure you will embark on! Embrace all of it and be ready for the not-so-fun parts of pregnancy. I think having realistic expectations for pregnancy and new parenthood are important to creating the best experience. It won’t all be butterflies and sunshine and that’s okay! Ask for help when you need it (and you will) and enjoy the sleepless nights because as hard as they are, they go by fast and before you know it your newborn will be a toddler in the blink of an eye. I wish you the best 
It’s a wonderful roller coaster.
Being responsible for another person is Overwhelming. Whether you are contemplating it or u are thrown in the deep end with a surprise. It is truly the most wonderful, beautiful, terrifying, heart wrenching, sad, happy, guilt provoking experience of anyone’s life. I have 5 kids. First 2 were planned. 3rd a surprise. And the 4 pregnancy was planned and a huge surprise to me. Twins😂. Love them all to absolute bits
A part of you will never feel ready and wonder if you’ll be a good mom, if life will change too much, what needs that baby might have that you didn’t expect, etc. Keep in mind that sometimes, when you starts trying it can also take a lot longer than you expect. We waited until we thought it was the right time and then it took EIGHTEEN MONTHS to get pregnant! The second one took 12. Plus, remember, you have 40 weeks to get used to the idea
I remember when the doctor told me I could start pushing i was so nervous and not ready… I said no, I’ll wait a little bit longer! The nurse I formed me I didn’t really have a choice in the matter at that point 
You’ll never be ready! Lol I wanted kids badly, very badly, but one thing after another happened and I was 39 when my daughter was born. Third round of IVF, our last chance… She wasa frozen embryo transfer. I wish so much I was able to have her sooner, as I’m a little older and not as energetic, but I wouldn’t trade her for anything. Even if she IS 7 going on 40.
The truth of it is you will go through all of the emotions and you will convince yourself you are ready and the emotions will ease themselves and then you will go through different emotions while you are pregnant then you will again convince yourself you got this until the moment you go into labor and every emotion you can think of all comes running back then as the strong powerful humans we was made to be we give birth and again all those emotions comes running back it is the most beautiful emotional experience in a woman life and it is scary but baby we are built for it
Lol it is terrifying even if you ARE ready! The good thing is the second you know your baby is inside of you, everything literally changes. You probably won’t notice it but when you look back you will know. It’s scary but an amazing and very worth while adventure!
I think a lot of people struggle with being ready and when the time is right. Your never really ready for a child lol. If you both agree that you want a child then go for it. If you want to do things first before a child go for it. But just remember there is t a right time for it and you might never feel fully ready and wrestle back and forth. That normal and i think most of us have those feelings. Just do what feels right for you.
You are never ready. My first at age 20 was unplanned and my second at age 27 is planned (currently 28 weeks pregnant) and let me tell you there are still moments when I wonder if we are ready.
You are never ready to have a baby. I remember when I was trying and was like it will happen when it happens. And then I cried when it happened because I was terrified. I wouldn’t trade my child for the world and it is a journey well worth all the emotions. If you aren’t quite ready take some time for yourselves and get used to the idea of being married.
I definitely wasn’t ready. I knew we needed more time to get to know each other. But 38 years ago age was a factor and very few people had babies in their 30s. I would give yourself time to settle into your relationship.
Children are a life long commitment… you need to be prepared to be selfless… you think you’re ready and then realise it’s not as easy raising them as you thought. But, if you are willing to be selfless, then you’re ready. That’s how it worked for me.
I don’t feel ready yet … and my daughter is 9 years old! All I can tell you is having a baby changes you! Whatever happens love takes over and you find a way so stop.worrying…enjoy the wedding and enjoying trying! Everything happens when it’s meant to
There is an old saying at church, God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called. You’re NEVER ready, no matter what you think. If you love your husband and have a good relationship, you’ll learn what you need to know and instinct fills in the gap. Raising children is the toughest job you’ll ever have, and the most rewarding.
I got pregnant right after we got married and it was something we both talked about so we both had the same mind set and it was great! It’s exciting and scary at the same but such an amazing journey for you and your new family! I’m grateful that I got pregnant right away but it’s not the case for some people so you never know what god has in store for you! I say go for it and what’s meant to happen will happen! Congratulations on the big day!
I honestly feel that you are never ready to be a parent. If it is something that you have always desired then you will do just fine. The good thing about us is that from the moment you become pregnant your motherly instincts kick in. The love you will have for your baby will make you never regret having him/her.
I had my first son unplanned at 20, and my second planned at 29 and I can honestly say I don’t think your ever truly ready. You spend 9 months worrying about everything, then you see that beautiful face and feel love like you’ve never known before. The worrying never stops, but the love you have for them makes it all so worth it.
I focused on getting my body ready for “go day”… and planned a BIG window for trying to conceive. It helped me to stay focused, not get too excited and made it easier mentally when I had my period (we got really lucky and I only had one after go day, but mentally I planned for 11)
As a mom of 5 aged 12, 10, 7, 4, and 1 week I don’t think you ever truly feel ready for a baby, none of my kids were planned especially my littlest one because I was told I couldn’t have anymore due to other health conditions, but he is here and absolutely perfect and the most perfect addition to my our family.
I did but even when my Son came I realized I still wasn’t ready. I’d had Exs before who had children (toddlers) but taking care of someone’s child that’s already gone through that infant stage and having your own child that relies on you every second of the day are totally different. I can’t say I would have ever been ready for it without actually having a baby though… it was just such a huge transition from having “me time” whenever I wanted to constantly at the will of newborn. I love my kids to death but I think the shock of how much harder it is with a newborn is what gave me such bad PPD.
I dont think you are ever ready. I didnt plan my daughter but when I found out I panicked and just accepted what was to come. Still at the age of 10 I’m not ready as she has gone through her period and growth of hair and little boobs. Lol honestly you just adapt and one day you say, ok I got this. I struggled financially but still made the best of ir.
It happens on God’s timing not our own! We had been Married for 15 years before we were Blessed with Our first Son, little Brother 4 years later!
If you think about it you will never be ready until you wake up one morning and discover it is too late. If you want kids just go for it. It doesn’t automatically happen first try. For some it takes months to years. You would be amazed at how ready you actually are without realizing. Don’t stress. Just let nature let you know when you are ready
We waited about 2 years to start “trying” just so we could enjoy being married first. I always knew I wanted to be a mom and we had my bonus son who was 15 at the time I finally got pregnant at 34. (It took me 3 years to finally get pregnant) Our little guy is now 4 and he’s the best thing that ever happened to me! Go for it girl!
you are never truly ready. i had my first at 27. my second at 33. my hubby and i were not sure but we let things progress naturally. we love our boys. but ultimately it is up to you. Congratulations on your engagement and your wedding. don’t let anyone take the fun out of anything. dont stress, just let things flow on there own.
He wants them and you want them so you’re ready go for it. You are already both in the same place and that’s step so you get that ready feeling as soon as your pregnant every one is different though and may reach that ready felling before or even after that. Don’t put too much stress in it
I don’t think you are ever ready, it’s a huge change, but it’s the most rewarding, exhausting, wonderful thing you’ll ever do. Best thing in the world. Good luck hun
Your never fully ready! You learn new things daily from the time you find out your pregnant through life! Good luck and it will be ok🥰
I have 4 kids and honestly I said “oh my goodness that’s a real person” after every delivery. It was a new shock and new life phase with each one.
No one is ever ready hun! My sons father was so excited he could pee his pants. I however was terrified! Eventually it all works out in the end. Try not to stress over it too much! God bless!
Ha wait til they put your brand new baby in your hands and tell you to go home. That is the most surreal moment ever.
Yeah I just skipped back and forth across that line all the way. I still want another kid (would make 3) but also dont because I met my current husband with a kid and we’ve never just been us. But at the same time I am not ready to say I’m done because I am so grateful for everything my children are that I didnt know I needed or was even possible. It is not just a saying. My children are literally my reasons to continue on in life. My life is not anything I dreamed it would be. I was diagnosed just after 30 with ms and it gives me so many reasons to give up. They are the reason I keep going. I gave them life but they gave me a life worth living. They gave me meaning.
Have fun a child puts you a whole different place you don’t want the beginning of your new life let me tell it’s not easy I don’t know if you work there’s a lot to think about.
The only this I ever wanted in life and was ready for was children… if I had a honeymoon baby that would’ve been my dream come true… but we waited… it was the longest wait of my life…
O loved my kids dearly. My only regret is thzt I was too young when I had them. Wish I had been okder. I went from big sister to mom in a few short months and never had a chance to enjoy not vei g respo suble to care for babies. I do love my kids but!!
My daughter is 18 and Im still not ready. Parenting can be fufilling but it has solo many unimaginable challenges that we all think are prepared for but we make it through. And hopefully we have reared a productoive person with all lifes challenges. And kids WILL challenge you
It seems like it’s embedded in them tk be stubborn at different stages in life. But you will know no greater thing than loving your child(ren).
No. It took me long enough to get pregnant. You may say your ready then have issues and can’t. My answer is if you have to ask yourself if your ready, then your not. ( Nervousness is always a given!)
I was with my boyfriend 10 years before we got married and I enjoyed only being responsible for ourselves and all the freedom but we agreed when we got married we would start trying and we got pregnant on the honeymoon had our son 9 months to the day of our wedding I knew I would never be ready and we just had to do it!!
Having a baby is sooo wonderful!! but lemme tell you, I was in no way ready to be a mommy when I found out I was pregnant last year.(I was 24, I’m now 25) I was terrified. I’ve always wanted to be a mommy, but I just wasn’t ready at that time. The next 5 months were rough. I vomited every day 5-6 times for the first 5 months:grimacing: after that, pregnancy was smooth sailing except the constant pain in my pelvis because she was head down and pushing on my cervix. Suddenly, my due date, February of this year, was here and I was discussing induction plans with my OB. On February 21st, 2020 at 11:51pm, my rainbow baby girl made her arrival with no complications and I didn’t tear:heart_eyes: I can’t even begin to tell you how truly blessed I am to have this little girl!
My husband had custody of his daughter (5) when we got married so I said I wanted kids right away so they would be close in age. We were married in May and I was pregnant by mid July. When you are ready you are ready.
It is weird…going from being a teenager to an adult, the cues society gives us are horrible. “Kids are the worst thing that can happen to you” becomes “i want grandbabies” almost overnight.
As to the are you ready…you are never, truly prepared or ready. But, the only way to find that out is to experience it. So many more (worthwhile) stresses than before.
It just happens. It’s really no way to ever really prepare if that sounds right. You can plan to have things and funds for the babies future but other than that you just mentally emotionally and physically change once you are pregnant. At least that’s how it went for me. None of my babies were planned but I’ve always wanted to be a mother as well. I have had 4 (1 stillborn at almost 6 months, 1 miscarriage, one who is now 13 and one who is now 11.)they are all my blessings/angels and even though none were planned it just all worked itself out
Don’t “try”. Just don’t protect. I always felt like if I took the burden off of me or my husband and just trusted God’s timing, things would work out like they’re supposed to. And they did.
I think it is natural to feel nervous about becoming a parent. I would though caution you from immediately having children, not because there is anything bad about children but because you should give you and your husband time to be just husband and wife. Spend your first two or three years just you and him because once the children start coming along, you are going to look back at that time and be happy you had that foundation. Plus, use this time to really bond with his son. Make him part of that foundational fabric before other kids come along.
You’ll have 9 months to get used to the idea of being a mother. It’s pretty natural. Good luck!
You will be fine and old enough for responsibility. I was 20 when I had my first. Awesome and wonderful.
Are you or have you been a " kid person" before now? Raised with siblings?
I know it seems like a strange question to ask, but some things just happen naturally during your pregnancy…Your hormones kick in, your instincts kick in, and the desiré becomes stronger, and yes I think you’ll still be scared a little bit I don’t know a new mother that isn’t…but you’ll " nest" and get your home ready for the little one that’s coming and once they’re here you’ll just take care of them for some women it’s just built in… You just don’t know it until you’re actually holding your baby I wouldn’t worry too much…
What you could do is not try to have a baby and not prevent it either. Lol. That way it’s not an accident. Not planned. It will just be. Let Jesus take the wheel if I may be a dork for a minute.
I think it’s totally natural to be nervous! That doesn’t mean you’re not ready, it just means that change is kind scary.
Totally normal to be nervous…I have two living children and two I lost to miscarriages, all surprises…we decided to try for another now and it’s totally different trying to plan for one lol I installed an ovulation tracker yesterday since last month we tried but didn’t time things right and then some family stuff came up and it didn’t happen 🤷 now this month I planned a little better but didn’t install the app until last night 🤦 and since I’m older than 35 my OB said it could take up to 6 months…if it doesn’t happen after that then I’m not going to try anymore and go back on BC
Having kids is life changing. It’s natural to feel nervous about it, even if it’s something you want. Just breathe, enjoy your new husband and have fun making babies. 🤷
ur not ready EVER. lol it doesn’t matter how mamy classes u take during pregnancy how many books u read how prepared u are how much baby stuff u buy lol ur never ready
I wanted to have kids since I was teen. Got married to my hs sweetheart at 18 and it never happened. I cried soo much. But then I met my second husband and I was pregnant immediately. I was 24 and soo happy!!! You’ll be fine Good luck sweety!!
I don’t think you ever really feel ready. You just transition as you go. I’m 36 weeks with my fourth and have felt nervous at the start of all of them.
In my opinion I think you should have time to grow together,set up house,be friends etc. then plan for your children. You still have time.
If you wait till you feel ready you’ll never have kids. I don’t think anybody ever actually feels totally prepared
Dr. Laura Schlesinger says 28 is the perfect age to consider marriage and kids. There’s no such thing as a good time for anything, so just go ahead and do everything naturally.
Why not just see what happens, you will fall pregnant then accept it. Nobody is ever ready for it but in the long run when it happens we somehow cope.
You’ll never be perfectly ready. I was the same way even when i felt like we were as ready as we’d ever be. It’s a scary big step and it’s normal to be nervous.
Is anyone really ready to be a parent? Lol I dont think so
If you feel your marriage is stable, then whenever you both agree to try, ho for it! You didn’t mention how long you have been a couple. Get to know each other first,
It’s always a scary thing. However, if I can make an unsolicited suggestions, get to know your partner as a spouse for a year, then have at it.
Your never ready if you what till your “ready” your will never have a baby…go for it and have fun trying
I’ve always wanted to be a mom. As soon as we got married I got pregnant right away. My oldest is a a honeymoon baby
You will never feel ready. It’s a huge step and commitment! My advice would be to take some time to enjoy your marriage, travel together, etc. You have plenty of time.
My kids are 10 and 11 and I still don’t feel ready being a mom, but they are my world. 
Noone is ever ready to be a momma but trust me once you have a little one you wouldn’t want to trade it for anything else.
My mom always said “If you wait until you’re ready, you’ll never have them.”
It’s your window, just relax, enjoy your partner and leave it in Gods hands. Sounds like it’s meant to be. We all worry about the first time or if we can get pregnant but the experience of being a parent has its struggles and rewards and it’s all worth it.
Wait for a year at least. Enjoy your marriage. Cement your relationship with his son that lives there. Make sure you have a good job, benefits before pregnancy. Can your job support you and a child in case of divorce. Answer those questions in your heart and the rest of the butterflies will settle
For a long time I never wanted kids, as I got older I realized I wanted kids. I had my first at 20. No matter how ready you are, once you see those two lines, everything changes. Not in a scary way, but it’s a shift, it stops being about you and starts being about your baby. If you wait until you’re ready, you’ll never be ready. It’s a sink or swim kind of thing.
I’m thinking the same thing to have a second one. I want one but now that he’s ready, I’m like oh crap do I want this now? I’m 31 and I always said I wanted my kids before I was 30 but I want a second one but feel like if I wait any longer I will be too old
Just let it happen. Don’t use protection or birth control,and screw like rabbits… i ended up with twins tho…
Nobody is ever ready until it happens, and then you just are bc that little life needs you and you’d do anything for it.