My fiance cheated when I was pregnant: Advice?

My fiance cheated on me while and even after I was pregnant…he says he was in a dark place at the time since he never grew up with a father; he was scared…I live with him and want his son to have a family. Should I forgive him or move on??

165 Likes

It is really up to you how much you trust and love him to give him a second chance. I gave my ex husband (father of my child) 3 chances bec of my son. But that’s me. It was what I wanted. And it didn’t work out. Now I’m happy with my fiancée and never looked back. Good luck to you.

My husband cheated on me after I had a miscarriage. It was with a 18 year old. He literally abandoned me and our son. Refused to acknowledge our son existed for 4 months. On the verge of a divorce and he begs and cry’s for me to take him back. Because not only did she treat him like shit. He completely let himself go. Im not one to forgive. But I told him he had one last chance, he fucks up in any way he can leave and he told me if he fucked up he’d sign over all perental rights and move out of state (his idea). This happened 2 years ago… He learned by his mistakes. I put him on a SHORT “leash”. He still proves to me everyday how sorry he is and how it was the worst mistake of his life.

The main thing I was getting to is he can change IF he understands he fucked up. But hunny forgive if he truly sorry. You and your baby deserve the world​:purple_heart::black_heart::purple_heart: Do whats best for you and your baby(babies).

My heart goes out to you. If you’re ok with having a one-sided open relationship with a person who puts their hormones ahead of his family, I wish you the best, truly. But it’s honestly probably the best interest of you and your baby to go your own way. You don’t want your child to grow up seeing that their father doesn’t respect their mom by cheating and that you allow it, regardless of the baby being a boy or a girl. Maybe amicablely (if possible) arrange visitation/custody and live happily with someone that does love you and respects his child enough to not hurt them or the mother of his child. Because if it’s because of “dark times/place” honey that never stops, so you can expect it whenever he’s “in a dark place” life is not easy.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My fiance cheated when I was pregnant: Advice?

Once a cheater then becomes a more better , smarter cheater :joy:

17 Likes

Once a cheater always a cheater. Leave before you accidentally get sucked back in and have another baby by him

4 Likes

Just depends on how you feel about it. Experience has shown me time and again that they’ll do it again. It’s even worse when it’s done while you’re literally sacrificing your body and growing his child.

7 Likes

He was in a dark place… a vagina. These are just excuses.

Only you know if you can stay with him. But personally nope I’m out. There is no excuse to cheat and he’s using his past to get away with whatever he wants to do.

2 Likes

Don’t make any sense

1 Like

Leave, it will just happen again.

That’s honestly up to you mama.
Me personally I wouldn’t be able to stay with someone who cheated on me especially when I was pregnant with his child. Child or no child, you need to do what is best for you!
And your child will understand when he gets older.

1 Like

Ew. No. Leave. He’ll just do it again and again and try to hide it.

3 Likes

My personal opinion once a cheater always a cheater. Tho Ive heard some got thru it. I personally would never be able to look at said person the same ever again

2 Likes

Once a cheater always a cheater. The relationship is never the same afterwards. Same thing happened to my sister she was about to pop and they tried making it work and he just cheated again.

1 Like

Depends on if you can forgive and move forward. If you can forgive, but not forget, and make the effort to move forward do it. But if you can’t move on from it and dwell on it, it’ll never work.

1 Like

Only you can make that choice but he wasn’t loving or respecting you when he was sleeping with another woman :woman_shrugging:t3:

2 Likes

Leave & learn to coparent for your child. You can still have a healthy relationship with your child’s father without being stuck in a miserable relationship without trust

Cheating on you while you’re pregnant is a next level low. It doesn’t matter what his excuse was, thats some big time betrayal and if he is willing to do it when you’re carrying his baby…he will do it again. Just my opinion.

That’s a pretty messed up thing in general but especially while your pregnant. I don’t think most relationships can recover from that because the trust is shattered, it will always be on your mind. Only u can answer this question for yourself though, if u stay with him u will have to forgive him completely and never throw it in his face too move past it. I personally think this would in turn give him permission to go do it again, because he knows u won’t leave. Ask him to go to counseling if u stay together, if he won’t then there is your answer.

1 Like

That is your decision

2 Likes

I took my baby daddy back multiple times after cheating and it was the worst mistake I ever made.

Leave. If a man can cheat on u while ur carrying his child??? All the emotions and hormones u r going through? Thats unforgivable.

Sure makes perfect sense to grown up without a father and do the exact same thing to their children! If men have nothing else, they have the audacity !

1 Like

Move on it will continue to happen! Once a cheater always a cheater!

If I can’t trust you, I can’t keep you.

If you do forgive him… ACTUALLY FORGIVE HIM. If that’s what you choose , don’t be abusive for the rest of the marriage making them pay for said forgiveness. It’s a big step for grown adults and can be done.

1 Like

If you both have a connection and are willing to work on it together then stay.
I feel for him to blame it on a trauma he needs to address them before making any final decisions tho…

1 Like

Its your decision, but keep in mind…once a cheater always a cheater…

I wouldn’t, your son can still have a family you guys don’t have to be together.

1 Like

Run chances are he will do it again and it’ll be easier now than years from now when your kid is older or you have more kids. He couldn’t even be loyal when you were engaged and pregnant why would it be any different when your married.

1 Like

That’s a bullshit excuse.

1 Like

Dark place what an excuse he should have gone to counselling instead of sleeping with someone else sorry but he has done it once and he will always be a cheater using an excuse of mental health he should be ashamef

Nah once a cheater always a cheater

I’m sorry but I’m going against all other comments.
It can work, it will be hard but I’m going on 20 years with my husband and we went through this.

2 Likes

nope! his “reasoning” shows that he accepts no responsibility for what he did. Scared? So scared he had to stick his D in someone else? Give me a break. Lots of ppl grow up without a parent or even both parents and still aren’t shitty people. Move on.

1 Like

I wouldn’t be able to trust him again. But if you forgive him, you forgive him and can’t keep bringing it up or throwing it in his face. I personally wouldn’t be able to stay with someone after that.

You’re carrying his child and he cheated on you??? It’s obviously your choice but that is sooo low, that’s no excuse to cheat on your pregnant S/O. I personally would not take him back.

3 Likes

Please, he knew what he was doing. Your son can still have a family with out you putting up with that crap.

If you stay he knows you are a pushover and will cheat again

6 Likes

He didn’t love or respect you. Why would you want to be with someone like that? And his “excuse” was pretty pathetic.

1 Like

This also happen to me when I was pregnant with our third child, I still have ALOT of trust issues but we’re still together 6 yrs later. It can work if you can get pst the fact and he proves to you he’s not doing wrong

Every time you take a man back from big issues like cheating, abuse on and on … they loose respect for you! They begin to think you are weak!
I believe people can change but only if you leave and he sees he can’t do that anymore and have you! Make him put in effort don’t just stay and be his housewife while he wine & dines a side chick :pleading_face:

3 Likes

What happens once baby is here or your pregnant again sounds like excuse and hes not owning it. Either counseling or split up i couldnt get past it

1 Like

He grew up without a father, wouldn’t he be doing his all to be the best father. Not sleeping with other women​:thinking::thinking: instead leaving the opening for his son to not have a father around 24/7.
I don’t think I could let that slide. It would be a bye from me.

4 Likes

He will cheat again… I went through this before and he just cheated on me multiple times after.

6 Likes

Girl you better move on. Do not give that man anymore of yourself. Let him be a father if he’s willing to but hellllll no. That’s unforgivable

3 Likes

That’s not a reason to cheat

2 Likes

Just remember if you forgive him he will do it again and again because he now knows that you will forgive him when he lays a sob story on you

1 Like

I’d move with caution. Some people use past traumas as an excuse to abuse and neglect. Poor behavior will never be their fault. If you stay with him, I’d set some firm boundaries about leaving for good if this happens again.

7 Likes

Smh! Learn not only your worth but your childs! Those are excuses!

1 Like

No it’s will do it again and he need to go therapy if he wants to stop cheating only for himself

1 Like

Maybe some distance? Lots of chats and letting your feelings out? Letting him explain everything he’s been keeping buried? Just falk, listen and try and understand, on both parts, be chill, but be honest! So many would sack it off but relationships and marriage aren’t straight forward or black and white, it takes 2 and it takes work! It could be the making of you both and your life together with ya baba…I wish you the best xxxxx

“I grew up without a father so I’m gonna eff up my relationship and get a head start at being a crap parent just like daddy did to me!” Girl pack up and run. Build a healthy life and environment for you and your child!

7 Likes

Girl go read up on Narcissistic behaviors , he’ll blame everything but himself,soon he’ll also blame you . please I beg leave for your own mental health ,you’re worth more!!!

13 Likes

Move on. He will cheat again. Once that trust had been violated you can never get it back

4 Likes

That is a piss poor excuse to cheat - he knew exactly what he was doing. And I am sorry to say this, but in my opinion, I have the distinct feeling that he’ll continue to use that excuse for future issues. I say move on - you and your son deserve more respect than that.

5 Likes

He cheated on you while you were pregnant because he didn’t have a father?

Lmaooooo

BOY BYYYE

don’t fall for that “pity me” crap.

He should’ve went to therapy, not another woman.

3 Likes

So he cheated not only while you were pregnant but after as well. He knew what he was doing and repeated it? Move tf on… If he’s in a dark place that’s just something ppl say as an excuse. What other selfish shit is he gonna try and pull. Think of your son before you let him around him alone. He needs help before he should be a father. Definitely don’t marry him.

You forgive him, he will just do it again, the next time he is in a “dark place”

1 Like

There are many success stories on how it can work! But, it takes the both of you to work through it, but it CAN work!!

Leave him because that’s the stupidest reason ever to cheat.

Nope. That is the one place I draw the line.

2 Likes

Move on, find someone who will respect you

Your peace of mind is more important than a ring and a life with someone willing to have you questioning your self worth. Spent the last 8 months in hell. Now I’m free and feel amazing. Love leave. Maybe you can work on things in the future but take some time to yourself.

3 Likes

Your son will have a family. Once a cheat always a cheat . I understand being in a dark place but you do Not sleep around you go seek help, you talk, communicate to your spouse, or other partner. Your scared you do not turn around and sleep with someone sense when you are in a relationship. As an adult you still know what is WRONG, sleeping with some one other than who you are suppose to be committed to. So what is he going to blame the next time, YOU KNOW THERE WILL BE A NEXT TIME IT IS JUST A MATTER OF TIME. Put yourself and your baby’s life first. Leave

Move on I stayed with a man 11 yrs thinking he never cheat on me again once a cheat always he went low and cheated while I was in early pregnancy thinking I was losing is baby and my best friend was baby sitting my children they both jumped into bed together I free and happy now we have 4 children together he hasnt seen is 3 children since 2019 and is baby he has never met x

1 Like

You can’t be letting him use the fact that he grew up without a father as an excuse. After a certain point men need to grow up and take responsibility for their actions and not blame it on other people. That shows that he’ll blame other shit on you too. If be can’t grow up and be responsible then he shouldn’t be raising another human.

" I grew up with no father" that’s why he didn’t think of you while some other chick was riding his dick? Not once but twice or more??! Make it make sense!!

Move on. My ex did the same thing to me when i was pregnant. You better off without that. It will happen again

1 Like

That is such a pathetic excuse. And sounds like b.s tbh. My brothers were raised with no dad and r no way cheaters.

4 Likes

Therapy. He needs it to fix his issues and you need it to be able to accept and move on and trust him again. Otherwise he will repeat offense and you will get hurt

Can’t tell you what to do but he will Expect you to just “get over it” no matter how badly it affected you, he will never see that. I’ve seen it way too many times. Only advice to give you is get out while your son is still young. He can have great parents co parenting at their best! Your son can still have that family. I got the best step dad ever! I know they still exist too! You can forgive and move on. I would recommend not staying. It can happen again

1 Like

its upto you, please tell us the results or decision, my advice study the advice given

Once a cheater always a cheater, the trust is definitely broken

2 Likes

Many people faced the decision you are facing just not me lol

If you believe in your heart you can forgive him, I mean 100% forgive him, then yes. But if you know you won’t forgive him and it’ll always be in the back of your mind, do both of you a favor and end it. Steve Harvey had a video on this and I’ve used his advice many times.

1 Like

I understand you want your son to have a family, but giving him a family does not mean putting up with infidelity. He can have a family without you both being together. Excuses will always be made to “try” to justify what he did BUT you and your baby deserve better

Move on it will get worst from here on get out while you still have a mind that it is your own.

Girl fool you once blame it on him fool you twice blame on you! So that is your answer…you need to move on an save your dignity an your sons quality of life now!

Don’t ask here no one can answer this bit you look in your heart than make a pros and cons list than decide good luck

1 Like

Do you want God to forgive you? If you cheated on him what would you want? Try forgiveness yes he has penalties he will endure but try. Jimbo

1 Like

So askkkk him …do u want your baby growing up with nooo father tooo !?? …cheat on me one more time then …

3 Likes

My biggest regret in life was time spent on trying to give my kids a “family” with a person who always had an excuse. Time I can’t get back.

4 Likes

Once a cheater, always a cheater. Move on and save your diginity. Give your son the life he deserves.

5 Likes

Its all excuses. Do not let him weasel, cuz that’s what he is, his way into your good graces with words hunny. Actions tells you all you need to know. NEVER listen to words. Yes, you can forgive him but that doesn’t mean u have to stay.

5 Likes

Whatever you allow once will happen again

5 Likes

He seems manipulative and trying to make u feel bad for him. That’s no excuse for being an unfaithful cheater. He knew what he was doing.

Move on. Any man who cheats on a pregnant woman is despicable. Low of the low. He can be in a dark place and still respect you.

2 Likes

Move on if you’re smart

What a pathetic excuse for a man :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

5 Likes

If you forgive him and stay you can’t hold the cheating against him.

You have to really forgive him.

And if you can’t truly do that you need to leave

6 Likes

If you are unhappy you should leave. When us women are pregnant and get hurt we will always remember that! And him being in a dark place and not growing up with a father is no excuse to treat the mother of his child and the women he claims he loves like that! It won’t be easy but please do what’s best for you. Iv been where you’re at🥺 girl I was cheated on WHILE GIVING BIRTH!! I regret staying just to have a “family” and we have 3 kids together!! I’ve moved on and it’s the best thing I ever did cuz you will always think about it and you will stay hurt…do what’s best for you mamas❤️

I believe people can change.
If you forgive him and choose to stay, you really have to work on forgiving him fully. Seek therapy for the both of you.

1 Like

Kick his fing ass to the curb

That’s a decision only you can make for yourself

He’s using that he never grew up without a father as an excuse for him to cheat, only you can decide if you can forgive him and trust him again. You say you want your son to grow up with a family, that’s not a family if he cheated on you while you were pregnant and after your son was born. What’s his excuse going to be the next time he cheats? He was stressed from being a father!

2 Likes

once a cheater always a cheater

2 Likes

Nope. Move on. Your #1 priority is that baby.

2 Likes