So my fiance and I just got engaged a few months ago we set a date that’s about 2 years from now. The other day he asked me if I planned on inviting one or two of my new friends I recently made and I’m like I’m not sure probably. And he said well I don’t think they should come to our wedding or because they aren’t both our friends… I said um what? I can have girl friends that aren’t your friends. Today he said I want to live two separate lives. He said 1 life with him and our two children and another life with and then he just stopped. I’m like with what? Friends? He’s like ya. I said we don’t need the same friends… if yall become friends cool whatever but I don’t need to be with you 24/7. I can have my own life outside of my children and you… I said I’m not friends with your friends. The hole situation is ridiculous he’s been making a big deal about it all week. I don’t get it. Help.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My fiance does not want my friends coming to our wedding: Advice?
That should be a red flag to you right there that he doesn’t think you should have a life outside of being a mom and future wife. If that’s the life you want to leave then stay but no man nor woman has the right to tell another grown up who they can or cannot be friends with.
I see this as a major red flag
Run! Far and fast and don’t look back!
Hes thinking your world is going to revoke around him n the kids hun …nip it in the but now before you know it you will lose yourself n 2yrs is a long time yo be worrying bout guest at a wedding tell him to chill
Divorce him already. Do it
You need that separation. I have been with my husband close to 15 years we have 4 kids and the fact I don’t have a live outside of them causes me so much depression. I have no friends I am always with my kids and it’s hard. You need that for your sanity and if he doesn’t want you to have that is a big red flag. He can’t control 100% of your life and it bothers him.
Sounds controlling to me. Definitely keep an eye open for more of that stuff.
I think maybe you need to rethink this whole engagement/wedding thing. Best of luck to you!
I wouldn’t be marrying him.
Run. Don’t walk, run away.
You need to run, right now. That is a huge red flag and very controlling behavior.
That’s some big old red flags that probably aren’t a carnival
Y’all arguing about something that petty already don’t get married. This hella immature.
Unless they are addicts and or a bad influence I would be cautious with him
And this is just the beginning
Red flag sweets. You’re allowed to have your own friends
He wants separate housing and he’s just proposed to you . Run a mile quickly
Ewww. Get away from him asap!
He just warned you. He told you what he’s going to do. Run away. If he’s not already doing it, he will soon.
Do not marry this guy
The bride’s parents are paying usually, so it’s the bride that determines how many the groom can invite, the groom has no say, but if he insists, find out before making any deposits, and find another groom.
Sounds controlling and already trying to isolate you from certain friends
It’s not gonna get any better after you marry him. Only worse
Post pone that wedding or cancel it. This is not good. Marriage will make him 1000% worse with his control. Don’t do it…
Controlling is trying to start, dont let it, leave him asap.
Control…control…Control…you better handle them red flags
Control and isolation. Two huge red flags! It progressively gets worse and I’d recommend you reconsider your future
You need to rethink your marriage to Him. Can we say just slightly controling. Been there done that and it SUCKS!!!
Run away while you can. Huge red flag.
Run dummy run…control freak…take your money and run…if you stay you probably don’t have any of your own…
i smell a narcissist–ive known many
Nope. No wedding. First signs of controlling.
Sign of obsession, possession, controlling, madness, sickness and beyond. Why would he want to be friends with girls in the first place?
He wants to isolate you… it will get worst. Just leave him
Run that is beyond controlling
Hello you don’t choose his friends and he doesn’t choose yours… six month from the wedding then think about it. Why waste time on it. Your friends might change.
You better not marry him. Your life will be hell.
Be cautious with any man who tries to isolate you or control who you are friends with.
Ma’am. That’s a red flag. Cancel the wedding and engagement. It’ll only get worse from here. Been there, done that.
Maybe u shouldn’t b marring such a controlling type man just food for thought here!!!
Run for the hills he’s a jealous person and it will get worse
He’s not the one girly, I was engaged to a guy that did the exact same thing. However I am thankful that I did date him because he taught me exactly what I DONT want in a man xx you deserve to be happy, and you 100% won’t be happy if he’s controlling your every move
That’s not normal. Get out before it gets worse
Girl do you hear yourself? Imagine your friend saying this to you what advice would you give her?
He is trying to isolate you so that you’re more susceptible to manipulation. Don’t marry him.
Ok now thats completely ridiculous and I thought my husband acted like a two year old
OK. As long as you get to delete anyone YOU want from his list.
Mmmmm. Id be very cautious girl. That sounds exactly like my narc controlling ex. EX for a reason
Yikes. Sounds like a long dark road. I would turn around real quick.
So he can have friends , but you can’t? Likeeeee gtfoh control freak
He is trying to isolate you friends now family is next
I wouldn’t marry him If he continued that crap
Break it off you don’t need a boss for a husband thats wants it his way only
Run do not marry him
Nope… girl run… for real… a heads up and warning from experience… NO
I’d definitely reconcider getting married… That’s BS and you have every right to have a life outside him and the kids… That’s healthy… He’s manipulating u and I truely hope u don’t let him have his way… It’ll only get worse… Good luck to u… If it’s not a situation you wouldn’t want your daughter in ( or the way you’d want your son to treat his fiencee) then why would u live this life yourself… Words to ponder over… Hugs to u…
This is a big red flag
Too controlling. It will only get worse.
It will only get worse after you marry him with him being controlling
My ex did that. Isolated me from friends and even family because he didn’t know them or because he didn’t like them. Go. Run. Far and fast luv.
Is he paying for a large wedding and concerned about money? Is his concern about only having family and very close friends attend? My fiancé and I want something very small and intimate. Like less than 20 people including our 3 kids and my dad will be at our ceremony. We’re not having a reception. Unless something like that is a concern, that’s weird. It not like your making new male friends that you don’t want him to meet. People make new friends lol, that’s normal.
Major red flag. Run now. You don’t need to be controlled
Run away fast, don’t walk and don’t look back.
Red flags babe! I’m sorry, get out while you still can.
I guess it depends on what your friendship is like with these new friends. Are they troublemakers? Do they have issues with personal relationships and family?
What is the reason that he’s concerned about these new friends?
Is there something about them (their character and/or actions) that he views as ‘negative’?
If so, he may genuinely be concerned that they may have a negative influence on you at some point.
If they’re decent, lovely people, then your fiancé is probably the one that you need to stay away from.
Sounds like he has something with one he doesn’t want you to know.
Run fast. Run far and don’t look back. This is a giant red flag.
This sounds like my EX husband
Don’t look back run fast
Don’t marry this guy. He’s sneaking. He also sounds overbearing. No, you can do better than that.
Run… run as fast as you can. If you have kids and can live with him… fine… but do not marry this man… I wished I had listened when someone gave me this piece of advice.
He wants to cheat. Probably does. “Double life.”
He is already trying to isolate you . And gas lighting you . Omg… run for the hills… You don’t have to give up your friends and your are still entitled to be you. Ok if it’s a matter of budget I get that. But isolation us different… you can probably do a lot better
Girl, run. As fast as you possibly can. As far as you possibly can. He’s trying to set you up to where you’re isolated. Oldest trick in the abusive spouse handbook.
Gonna need those 2 years for lots of couples counseling. Also, don’t marry him. This is just the preview. You do NOT want front row seats for this shit show, I promise.
Can tell you now. You stay with him you will have no friends. He will be your husband, your friend and in total control. While he still has a life outside of you. I lived it !!! Stay and loose yourself. And later all respect for yourself and him.
He’s controlling watch out.
This is a Huge Red Flag.
This guy is edging his way into running your life and abusing you. Gtfo. Seriously.
He is trying to control your world – classic behavior for a controller. This is a situation that you really need to assess. You need professional help with this.
This tells me what marriage is going to be like… I would suggest that you cancel any wedding plans with him, and leave. Good luck with whatever you choose
Run fast in the other direction!!!
Not a good sign. Control!
Run… ruin really fast and don’t look back
RUN! Those that want to control you will first isolate you. Then the physical and mental abuse will start because you won’t have anyone to run too.
Hes trying to isolate you…run fast and as far away as you can and never look back!! HUGE red flag!!
My ex said in our marriage I take care of myself & he will take care of himself. No trust; nothing of joint ownership.
Re evaluate the marriage. Is this the person you want to marry. Will you be happy with not having a life aside from him and the children? If you answered that question with a no. Then do you really think the marriage is right?
Sounds like he has different expectations then you. Not saying him or you are wrong. But sounds like he needs you too see him this way and is telling you he won’t be happy if you live a different lifestyle then he is willing to allow and your not willing to give up your life to revolve around him. That will only cause you to hate and resent him later on in the relationship.
Tell him good bye and just have a life with your kids and others special to you. Forget the wedding.
Are your friends quality people?
That’s a sign of being a control freak and being narcissistic. He can have friends and you are supposed to welcome them and be cool with them but you are to have none and it doesn’t matter what you do he will never like anybody that might help you.
Red Flags!!! This is how the controlling begins. Get out now.
Do. Not. Say. “I do.”
He sounds controlling. Definite red flag. Run
That’s so disgusting. Run like hell. These kind of guys end up killing their partners
Trust me when i say, the control factor will only get worse.
This is a massive red flag.
Leave him Thats the weirdest thing I’ve read today and should be a no brainer.
RED FLAG! Just be glad you are seeing this before you get married.