My fiance is against me wearing a bikini: Thoughts?

I’m getting married in June; my fiancée says bikinis are basically bras and underwear. We are getting married in Florida; I have two beautiful babies, both back to backless than a month apart. I have stretch marks, and all I’m comfortable wearing is bikinis. I’m already working out and trying to feel beautiful. I already made compromises on the wedding dress. I’m losing my confidence at this point. All I want to do is cry; I’ve already been thinking about getting a tummy tuck and fat transfer Idk what else I can do.

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Marry someone else ?

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Don’t let him control you before your tied to him.

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Wouldn’t have been a wedding even if it was me…

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U have 2 babies back to back less then a month apart? And u only feel comfortable in a bikini

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Major red flags, he won’t let you?

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This has nothing to do with how you look, and everything to do with him being controlling

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Don’t marry him. Hes trying to control what you can and can not do already

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I don’t usually comment on these but I do understand where he is coming from. He doesn’t want everyone else to see every part of your skin and bikinis are revealing. I don’t think he’s trying to exert control, to him it’s likely disrespectful to show so much skin. There are plenty of ways to be comfortable in your skin, look good and feel good without showing so much.

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RUN!!! That’s how control starts. Let then control one thing and they take it to another level. It’s a super red flag.

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Tell him to either fuck off and grow up or get out. Major red flag!

First step. Get rid of the guy

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Uhh no tell him bye :wave:

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why does he not want you to wear a bikini ?

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It’s not too late… y’all aren’t married yet :woman_shrugging:t2: Ditch him and go buy the cutest bikini you can find.

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:triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post: Red flags everywhere :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:

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Run like the wind , that’s not love that’s control :pray:

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Run away as fast as you can :running_woman:

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Are you sure this is a good idea? If he’s controlling now, it’s likely to get worse.

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Screw him. Walk away now! Control like that isn’t love. It’s a swimsuit. Not like you want to go to a nude beach.

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those are huge red flags honey!

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Being comfortable in your own skin is very important for mental health. Wear a bikini if you want. No one else choice but yours. Not matter your size or age be you. Others don’t like it, they don’t need to look.

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I wouldn’t walk down the isle with him. That is sign of control

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Ummmm… He accepts you no matter what or its not worth it at all :broken_heart: sorry

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Seems like he wants a very conservative wife. If that’s not you I wouldn’t,marry him

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Was he gonna buy you another bathing suit or summpthnnnn cuhzzzzz I’d still wear it !!! …how is it any different for a man to walk on the beach in some trunks …then a woman in a bikini :bikini:! …maybe he is an insecure man …and can’t deal with the other men whistlin as you walk by …YOU STILL GOT IT MAMA !!

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Don’t marry him. You shouldn’t be with someone who tears your confidence down rather than building it up!

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But let me guess he probably checks out the women who do

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Do what makes YOU happy and comfortable.

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Uhmm wear the bikini lol don’t let him control what you’re wearing that’s ridiculous! Especially when Florida’s always hot af in June. You can always get one of those sailor bikinis too where the bottoms are high waisted or the ones that have a skirt on the bottom instead.

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Controlling red flag!!

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These are controlling red flags :triangular_flag_on_post: I would be rethinking a future with this man. Does he show other signs too? I would be damned if I let a man dictate what I wear.

Whoever who loves you would never ever change or try to change who you are and who you were when you both meet each other.

My husband says the same thing about bikinis buuuut I dont see it as controlling LMAO … he explained his reasoning and it was up to me to accept it or not
In the grand scheme of things wearing a bikini isnt that important
Now just my opinion on it but I’d need more information to have a true understanding of the situation :metal::v::metal::v:

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So is he against you wearing a bikini because he’s against all women wearing bikinis or is he just against you wearing a bikini because of how he perceives you? Either way, yikes

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If you gotta ask, your not sure about this guy. Bye bye :wave:

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Tell him that u will wear whatever the hell you want. Don’t undergo surgery for a man. If you are comfortable with your body then that’s all that matters.

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You have a right to wear what you want. If y’all were from Florida, this would not be even close to an argument.

Here’s the solution. . . But for real that is a red flag.

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I think you need to throw the whole fiancee away and get someone who is ok with you loving yourself and being confident with your body.

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He may just want a conservative wife. I would seriously suggest having an open and honest conversation about it. You need to know his expectations. On the other hand…I’ve been married 19 years and my husband has never EVER voiced his opinion in a negative way about how I dress. Sounds like a huge red flag concerning control issues. Don’t get in the habit of collecting red flags.

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And your gonna marry him???
There is not a person on this planet that would be telling me what I can or can’t wear or do…
Im no skinny minni but i would have the the most daring bikini on!!!
I always feel more confident/ comfortable in a bikini :boom:

Wear what you are comfortable in! If a man told me what I could and couldn’t wear or how to dress, I would tell him right where to go! I’ve been with my man for almost 16 years and he has never played that card.

I really hope you choose yourself over this man’s tiny opinion.

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Get a new bikini and a new husband

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Perhaps u dnt want to marry this person if he can’t make u feel spontaneous…hugs n prayers u find ur beauty

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If my husband wasn’t comfortable with me wearing something then I wouldn’t wear it and I agree with him with it being bra and underwear :woman_shrugging:t2: just like if I wasn’t comfortable with my husband wearing something then he wouldn’t.

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I dont know this would be very concerning to me. This crosses my boundaries. I will not have anyone tell me what I can and cannot wear. You all are engaged with 2 kids and have never gone swimming together? I would definitely have to let him know he crossed a boundary and that it’s not ok but I guess its whatever you’re comfortable with. I would not be comfortable with this. One time when I was dating my husband he said he didnt like me going out and staying out all night(we were young 20s and only dating) I literally almost broke up with him and definitely put some distance between us. Hes never said anything like that again. I told him straight up that was not ok with me.

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Totally unrelated. Your babies are a month apart?!

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I’m 43, and have had had 4 kids Via C-Section. My Bf of 2 years prefers I wear a bikini or 2 piece he loves my tiger stripes and my slightly chubby legs and tummy. He makes me feel loved and accepting of the body my children gave me. Plus I LOVE TO TAN which happens that I get tinted in about an hour. I’m sorry but if he’s gonna be like that then maybe you need to rethink who you’re marrying.

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Id tell him to kiss your ass. Tell him hes not God and he can’t control you

Don’t ever give your power to anyone else and let make you feel unpretty.

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He should be supportive of you. I wouldn’t want to marry a guy that made me feel like that.

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Nah, that is a red flag. Not wanting you to wear something is one thing, but you’re working out to try and feel beautiful🤔sounds like he’s being abusive and controlling🤷🏼‍♀️

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Also, he sounds controlling. :triangular_flag_on_post:

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Not to late, find a new man and go find a bikini that you love! He’s a piece of crap to tell you what u can and can’t wear!!

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Just tell him you appreciate his concern and you understand but you want to wear them and you will be wearing them. It important to talk and Let him know before you get married that you will always take his concerns into consideration and you guys won’t always agree on everything but you are an adult and will be becoming his wife not his child.

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Throw the whole man away… :v: bye!

If you want to wear a bikini you wear that bikini!!! Don’t let anyone tell you what to wear not even your financé. SHOW YOUR BEAUTIFUL STRETCH MARKS :heart_eyes:

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Find a man who knows your beautiful in anything. :two_hearts:

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Forget the surgery, all you need to loose is that “man”…

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You might want to reconsider marrying him. He sounds like a control freak.

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Shitty boyfriends make shittier husbands. :woman_shrugging:t2:

I’d be rethinking this whole deal. Someone who’s going to control what you wear isn’t someone I’d want to be married to

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You comprise your wedding dress choices!!?!?!
Like someone said in the earlier comments get a new bikini and husband.
*i want a tummy tuck myself.

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You’re fiancé sounds extremely controlling.

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Trust me…DONT DO IT! This is the first of many red flags.

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Tell that man that he’s not going to control you. If that’s an issue break up.

Hello, Red Flag Store? I need the biggest one you’ve got.

Absolutely no man, husband or not is going to forbid me from wearing whatever TF I like, if he doesn’t like it, tough shit :woman_shrugging::100:

Kick his ass to the curb and enjoy your babies , body and love your beautiful self !! And except nothing less !! :heart:

I don’t think I would be considering marrying a man who thinks he had a right to tell me what not to wear.

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Thats a narcissistic trait, as hard as it is you don’t need that. He Will dig deep into your soul and destroy you. Walk away now while you still have strength

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I am sorry but that’s huge RED FLAGS OF CONTROL AND ABUSE. NO MAN NOR A WOMAN SHOULd BE CONTROL of what you wear. Time to get out while you can. You should not have to live like this.

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I have dated someone like that before & their jealous behavior just escalated further. Don’t marry him you will regret it!

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You do you. Don’t let a man change you if he tries to then he my not be the right man

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Your body your choice wear what you want

Huge red flag do not compromise what you wear especially your wedding dress! He sounds like a control freak. If hes like this before you get married it’s only going to continue to get worse x

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Don’t marry him. Red flags all over the place

If ur fiancé is not happy with ur body now that will not change. If he can’t accept u the way u r u two will never be truly happy. He is very shallow and controlling! Rethink this commitment for ur own mental health.

Uh definitely not like wtf :face_with_symbols_over_mouth: u wear what ur comfortable with doesn’t matter what he thinks or says. He is marrying you not your looks. He can not control what you wear bc pretty soon he will control what you do. I would tell him to shove it and wear one anyways.

If he’s making you make compromises on what you’re comfortable in do not do it. Wear a dress you love.

Don’t do it. If you marry him he will try his hardest at controlling you so much that it will turn into threats then try to kill you in the end.

Be your own person,I went through this for years , untill took control of my own life.

Run!! I married someone like that… he will destroy all of your self confidence

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When your fiancé is the one wearing a bikini he can decide if it’s the correct article of clothing

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I’d rock the bikini and lose the fiance

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do as u ducking please… no man can tell you

Its a nope for me huge red flag next will be the way u do ur hair make up and all other clothes u wear :grimacing: nope I’d leave him

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Tell him to go eff himself, you grew humans what did he grow, boogers and belly lint

It’s up to you what you wear. Red flags of control and abuse. Get the fuck out of that relationship now.

First, he clearly has some deep seeded insecurities which he is projecting onto you. Second, anyone who takes away from your self worth is not worthy of holding that kind of place in your life. Lastly, it doesn’t matter what advice you receive here, very few ever take it anyway, but I would not marry this man until he got some much needed help dealing with his own insecurities and if he refused, I would probably step away.

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You with the wrong man sis. :weary::joy:

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Been there, done that! Run like hell!!!

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Wear it anyway. Don’t let anyone dictate what you wear or feel comfortable in.

imagine leaving your partner because he doesnt like a dresscode lol, you women sound so immature, just apply a sarong over and then you are done. no big deal

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My suggestion… leave him at the alter while wearing your bikini.

In all seriousness though, if he’s making you feel this way and you’re not even married it’s going to get worse. You deserve better.

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I have 3 kids not where near a NICE body a lil over weight but I rock my bikinis and all kinds of revealing clothes. My husband loves it and even buys me some that he likes. Find a man who will love you in anything. But especially naked. Reminds me of my Fav song. Naked by Ella Mai. If it don’t describe him leave. You should never feel like you should cry because of how your partner is making you feel about your self. He is not being a partner. You are a thing in his life and as many other women have said it gets worse. Go through some of the stories on the page of women in love less marriages or can’t do this can’t do that. You don’t want to be next. If he loves you enough to marry you he should love
You enough to build you up.

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Hell to the no… no no no

What is his problem :thinking::flushed:

Dump his ass!!! He made you compromise on YOUR wedding dress. Girl he is clearly very toxic and that’s not gonna change :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post: