It’s only a vape not the end of the world
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Omg have some self control and stop trying to control another person.
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Well for starters. Why are you going through his phone if you trust him? How do you know he is deleting messages? I understand the lying thing. But it sounds to me that you have trust and control issues.
It’s not even hormones💀 Its just you overacting… Why is it when people are pregnant they assume it’s pregnancy. Let him vape. If you don’t like it you remove yourself🙄 simple just overreacting really
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You are literally a controlling narcissistic borderline abusive partner. You do not have the right to control someone. Just because you can’t do something doesn’t mean he can’t. Just wait until he leaves you
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Wait so are we talking about a MAN or a child? I’m sorry but I’m surprised he’s still with you! I wouldn’t let anyone tell me what I can and can’t do and I definitely wouldn’t be telling a grown man what he can and can’t do! Hun you need to calm down at least he’s not cheating on you for fu@ks sake! If I was him I would move in with my mom far away from you! Pregnant or not controlling people is not their problem it’s something you need to work on!
Vaping is way better then smoking because you get cancer from the Tar from cigarette not the nicotine plus the smoke is only water vapor so it’s really not smoke at all.
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My husband was a smoker and he was pretty bad. I hated smoking but that was my fault for dating a smoker knowingly and then wanting to change the person and take away the things they like. That was my fault for wanting to change someone and thinking that they would want or appreciate the change. At first he tried to do it and stop smoking entirely but then he couldn’t so for most of the relationship he lied about it. He would hide it in his car, the garage, he would smoke at work. Then whenever I’d find out it was just anger bc he lied and I felt like an idiot not so much because he did it. Been lied to by a grown man is just beyond bc you would think that a grown man has the nuts to tell you the truth. I think people lie about things to hold a semblance of perceived power and autonomy when they feel that they are losing power. I feel that by lying and holding something back they are avoiding drama and they are still keeping perceived power. Anyway slowly he started to make a switch to vaping until it was complete. Last summer he stopped completey smoking cigarettes and it will be a year in July. So do I love him vaping? No, not entirely. But trust me it could be worse.
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Couldn’t imagine some one telling me I couldn’t vape or smoke 
if I had some one barking at me to quit I’d be doing it more this is ridiculous!!
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Firstly good on you for not smoking or vaping whilst pregnant.
I really believe this is your hormones and really unfair to your partner. Please don’t make him feel even worse because he has hidden if from you. I give him credit for not snapping at you for trying to control him. If it were me you would of gotten a straight up ‘get f#%ked’ because no one will be telling me what I can and cannot do especially as an adult. Let it go and continue being awesome at giving up yourself.
Firstly good on you for not smoking or vaping whilst pregnant.
I really believe this is your hormones and really unfair to your partner. Please don’t make him feel even worse because he has hidden if from you. I give him credit for not snapping at you for trying to control him. If it were me you would of gotten a straight up ‘get f#%ked’ because no one will be telling me what I can and cannot do especially as an adult. Let it go and continue being awesome at giving up yourself.
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Get a grip, you ain’t his keeper. He will eventually leave you if he can’t do what he wants.
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Let him be is own person and do as he pleases. He is be nice and not doing it around you. Take off the his leash.
I don’t vape or smoke so I can’t weigh in as to potential issues here with vaping other than to ask you a few questions about your original question: Why are you searching your partner’s phone? What has happened in the past that has resulted in you not trusting him? If you know he uses tobacco products, what is it specifically about vaping that has you so upset? Do you have an agreement that he not use tobacco products inside your home? Let us know the answers to these questions so that we can try again to answer your original question. I want to know if this person (and his mother) is someone you really want to have or should be having a long term relationship with. Is there anything the two of you agree on? Is there anything the two of you enjoy together or have in common together?
He clearly was just doing it to be nice because you’re pregnant but there’s no reason for him to stop… it’s good he hid it from you so you wouldn’t be tempted while pregnant.
Your pregnant, not him. Just because you needed to quit doesn’t mean he has too as well. Stop controlling him maybe and he wouldn’t lie.
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Wtf is this post your a kid huh
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The lying is the bad part here… Him not quitting is something to discuss but it needs to be done when hes ready, you cant force someone to quit… it took me 2 years after my goal to actually quit smoking … The lying about it though is bad, but theres 2 sides to every story, im going to assume if you feel this way about it youve stigmatized it and essentially made him feel he has to lie about it because he is carrying shame for not quitting yet, let it go and help him, but dont force him!
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He’s a grown man be thankful the man isn’t cheating on you…jeez
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Bruh stressing out over something so insignificant. Find something better to spend your time worrying about.
It’s a vape. Chill out. He’s not carrying a baby, let the man vape. It’s not heroin lol wtf 
It’s not his mother 
he’s an adult not your child:rofl:
You sound ridiculous
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I would definitely sit down and have a conversation with him. You guys had talked and made an agreement, as people have stated he’s a grown man while yes this is true he also agreed with you to stop. He then lied about it to you that is not okay. Deleting things from his phone is being sneaky, and if he’s doing it with this thing who is to say it couldn’t be worse later on.
Talk to him tell him how you feel, if he wants to continue vaping then that’s his decision but he definitely shouldn’t have said yes agreeing to quit then hiding it.
Who are you to DICTATE to a adult person what they can do if you can’t handle this walk away …
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Ladies, he is NOT vaping nicotine, he has THC in his vape pen. Don’t blame him either, gotta be able to handle those hormones somehow!
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This is the most ridiculous thing I have heard in a very long time ! It’s not your job or anything else to tell him he cannot vape , if u can’t handle it then leave but don’t make it into him being the bad guy bc u keep finding vapes ! Ur setting him up for failure and the lying is gonna come easier if he has to keep lying about this ridiculous bs ! Leave if u don’t like it or shut ur pie hole!
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Gaslighting? It’s sounds like you’re the gaslighter honestly. He’s a grown man, why is he not ‘allowed’ to vape? Leave him be jeez
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Get a grip and get your grip off his nuts. That man should be able to do what he wants to without you freaking out. Wow. So petty. No wonder relationships don’t last very long
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Me personally, it wouldn’t have been so much the vaping but the lying that would bother me. He may have been having a hard time quitting and if that were the case all he would need to say is “I’m struggling” and I would understand and it would really just be an open conversation. The lying is what would bother me. Most people lie to avoid conflict but end up with more conflict because they lie.
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At least he knows you can always depend on yah Mumma 
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It doesn’t matter what he was actually doing. He was lying and betraying your trust. There is a bigger issue than vaping. It could of been anything but feeling like you can’t trust someone because they can lie to your face is very painful and heart breaking
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Wow I can think of way more things to be upset about he lies because you are tripping about it so bad it’s not easy for everyone to quit and you can’t force it
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my love, if this is the only problem you have with your ol man, you got it good.
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Have you ever sat and thought that maybe he lied because he KNEW you’d react like this?
Grow up. He’s a grown man. If he wants his vape pen to deal with your hormones, let him.
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It’s the hormones. Give him a break.
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Is vaping not better than smoking?
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He’s a grown man. If he wants to vape then he can vape. He shouldn’t have lied about it though and just told you straight up.
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It’s not like he is strung out on heroin. It is just a vape. Mellow out. He will quit when he is ready
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Hormones will get ya every time
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Vaping is safer than smoking cigarettes especially around you being pregnant. He’s chosen an alternative to his smoking addiction so you and the baby are as safe as possible. He’s thinking about you and so are you. Sounds dominating and controlling to a man who wants what’s best for you
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Chill out your being hormonal
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I would lie to you too! He is a grown man and should be able to do whatever he wants within reason. You are heartbroken about him vaping? Give me a break! You have given him no choice but to lie because you are being too controlling. He isn’t hurting you and is most likely addicted. You are going to drive him away and FAST. Leave that poor man alone. Pick your battles sweetheart.
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Pick your battles! This one isn’t worth it.
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You can be disappointed but come on. You make this sound like he is cheating on you.
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your husband is a grown ass man. If he wants to vape he can. He doesn’t need your permission just because you are pregnant.
If he’s not vaping around you I don’t see the problem, you sound very controlling which isn’t healthy
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Let the man vape,we have way more things to worry about in this world to be worrying about your man enjoying himself with a vape pen,he could be doing worse than that🤷
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Stress isn’t good for the baby. This is nonsense lol
You are upset about the lying and it’s worse bc of the hormones. You cannot control your partner let him live his life just tell him to be honest even if it’s something you don’t like. Wouldn’t you rather be comfortable at least knowing what he’s doing instead of him needing to sneak it around so he won’t get you upset? I’d just tell him you don’t like it for health reasons and tell him you hope he can try to cut back he supportive I’m sure you have bad habits he can’t stand. Women give up a lot during pregnancy it just is what it is it’s only a few more months. You can’t expect a man to make the same healthy choices as you do since you are pregnant. It would be nice but let’s learn to let things go a bit the stress is worse for your pregnancy then his vaping is.
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You sound way too controlling , keep it up and you won’t have to worry about vaping , coz he will be gone
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That’s stupid. I’m 17 weeks pregnant. I like the occasional weekend drink, as does my boyfriend. That would be like me telling him he can’t have a beer for 9 months just because I can’t. That’s not fair. Pick your battles. He’s having to hide things from you because you sound very controlling.
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Build a bridge an get the fuck over it
You sound very young and immature. At the end of the day it’s his health and his decision. I would let it go…
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Wow chill. He could be hiding something way worse than a vape. Let that man vape if he pleases. It’s not like you found drugs in his pocket or hidden. You will lose him faster than you think being like that.
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Be his wife not his mother thank god he’s baling not dangerous drugs
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i feel like if hes a grown man he can vape if he wants to but u better focus on that lying part!! thats gonna be the dealbreaker cuz he should have just told u the truth that he wasnt gonna stop. i realized the hard way that theres ppl that LIE straight to your face & dont even feel bad then theres other ppl that could & would never lie to u no matter how mad or bad stuffs gonna get so u need to talk with him about the lying part, the vape is secondary but not really a issue, more of a preference of u it sounds but that lying, thats doom!
A relationship of any level is built on trust! If that’s all he lies about, you’re ok!
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It’s a vape…not another woman
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He has a Mother, does not need another Mom. Relax.
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I understand that you both agreed that you would stop. Maybe he tried? Smoking or vaping is not something that is easily quittable. I feel like you’re being a little immature about this situation
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You “let” him keep smoking?
You’re the problem honey
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Holy cow… You’d think the man was cheating the way you are being. I don’t understand the need to control the vaping? That’s kinda over the top for me. He obviously was pressured to agree to stop because he wouldn’t keep doing it otherwise. You need to pick your battles, especially with baby coming. As long as he isn’t vaping near you or your child or inside even you shouldn’t be like that… it’s hard to quit smoking cigs or vaping… Yes the lying about it is a issue but you being controlling is a YOU issue you need to work on because similar situations will occur if you don’t loosen your death grip on control.
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What is wrong with you ? Let him be a man . You r not his mother . Be a mom to the baby coming not your husband .Grow up sweetheart.
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I understand your frustrations, I originally didn’t like my partner vaping, but then one day I thought to myself ‘vaping isn’t that much of a big deal.’ ‘It relaxes him and it doesn’t harm me in any way’ so I became much more relaxed about it. The only thing I asked him was to not do it around the children which he respected. But now I have no problem with it all 
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He is obviously having a much harder time quitting than you did. Yes you can feel upset that he has been hiding it and lying, but at the same time maybe him hiding it from you is to make it easier for you to stay quit. As long as he is being courteous enough to not do it around you and he starts doing a better job at not bringing them inside I would let him slide. My husband and I tried quitting smoking cigarettes together and at first we did, but a couple weeks in my husband started smoking again and I was pissed when he lied about it a couple times when I smelled it on his clothes or in his beard. However, instead of staying mad I told him that I understood and that yes I still crave them and can understand how much harder it is for him because all his coworkers smoke and he’s sort of in the construction field so he is around it constantly. He said he’s still trying to quit it’s just hard. Anyway I just started asking him every few days “how’s the quitting coming along” until eventually he was able to quit. It just took him about a year longer than me. Although you can tell him like my doctor told me that women have a harder time quitting than men do; so if you can do it then he definitely can to. Congratulations on the baby❤️
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If he smokes or vapes outside there’s no big deal why you trying to control him
If he doesn’t smoke around you or in the house be grateful he’s there
I’d sell my kidney to smell my husband’s cigarette smoke or hug him and smell his vape scent he died and god it’s hard
Stop being a nag to him and love him
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Definitely overthinking it can’t blame hormones for being upset that’s he’s not letting you control him.
I know you’re pregnant, been there four times myself, and you have this instinct to control your life and environment, but if you want to stay married, you need to chill. He’s a grown man, not a child.
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This is dumb. Seriously. How old are y’all…
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If he was seeing another woman, would that be worse?
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See as soon as your baby is born, put it up for adoption. It’s not too late for baby …
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GROW UP!!! Jesus he is a grown up and you’re trying to control everything. I’d be shocked if mommy isn’t trying to talk him into coparenting with you instead of staying under your control . Back off.
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Unreal!is that what you both signed up for ?being able to tell each other what to do,I would never tell my mate they couldn’t do something!just like it’s none of our business where they go or what they do as long as they don’t cheat it’s none of your damn business,respect goes a long way,do you mama,your not his mama!
This is how problems start!control freak!can you imagine the bigger things in life?oh God,leave her while your still young!
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This is what we’re getting upset about nowadays?!? 
my husband breathes near me. It makes me so mad!! insert sarcasm
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Quitting is hard. My husband didn’t quit smoking when I was prego and it was so hard but at least yours is vaping. He’s hiding it because you’ll spaz, there are worse things he could be doing.
Makes you wonder What else would he lie about
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I mean there are worse things than hiding vapes. I would be disappointed being lied to tho. However, I don’t think it’s that bad that he is trying to keep it away from you because he knows you’re struggling. I think it makes more sense to vape instead of smoking cigarettes.
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Uhhhh controlling much? He’s not pregnant, it’s a vape and you need to get a grip lmao you wanna keep that man you better chill out lol. Compromise. It’s a vape. He’s hiding calls from his mother? Why? That’s just uncool. I think he has the right to be upset and not you. But that’s just my opinion. This is kinda 
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My goodness are you 15 years old? 
If you want to have your childs fathers
around you or your baby you should definitely stop trying to be so controlling or else he’s gonna get tired of you and your behavior very fast. From the sounds of it he already has a mother and it isn’t You. This is why a lot of men leave and never see their kids. Because of little girls like you.
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Hes lying because you’re a control maniac. Even if he told someone like you the truth the over reaction would be the same to him.
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It’s a vape, chill your hormones. It could be a whole ‘nother girl he’s lying about. Instead, it’s a vape. Let it be, pick and choose your battles.
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I had a similar thing. When I was pregnant I asked my child’s father to stop smoking with me because it was extremely hard having him smoke around me while I couldn’t. So then he was smoking still but hiding it from me. Sometimes I would smell it and ask if he’d been smoking and he said no. Turns out he was smoking and just lying about it. Which now I can see that for me it was better to not know about it because it would just continue to make it harder for me. But on the other side of that, I found out he was lying about so much more. So. It’s really up to you. Is all this worth the fighting? Can you trust him otherwise?
Hahahahahahah. It’s a vape, not the end of the world. Also. Don’t tell someone what they can and can’t do, that’s crusty behaviour. All you can do is make it known you don’t like it and if he continues… well. Sucks to suck
What would be bad is if he did it right in front of you. Mine still vaped but he wouldn’t in front of me and I didn’t have any issues with it. It’s not about fairness. You aren’t being fair by not taking into consideration he’s having a hard time. Quitting is hard. That’s his comfort. If that’s all it takes to break you down maybe it’s a deeper problem you have with him.
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If you’re more upset that he lied than if he is smoking then yes you have every right to be upset. Lying to a partner is never okay. If you’re more upset that he was smoking because you can’t then that isn’t fair at all.
He is a grown man he can smoke if he wants to. If you can’t deal with him smoking then maybe you and him shouldn’t be together. He should have been honest and told you he was still smoking. He shouldn’t have to hide it from you but you made it so he had to hide it and be sneaky.
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You are his partner, not his mother. He is a grown man, treat him as an equal. His vaping isn’t the problem, you trying to control him is the problem. Good luck keeping him in the future, bc he will get tired of being treated this way and bail out. 
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You gonna be his wife or his mommy let him make the choice. Being controlling is not a good thing
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I see why your upset that he lied, but look at your reaction. Would if he said no I’m gonna continue to vape whether you like it or not? Oh LORD! You would have lost it. He’s not doing it in front of you, so he is being supportive with you quitting. He is obviously having a hard time quitting and didn’t feel he could come to you about it. So you need to look at yourself and see why he couldn’t tell you that.
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Wow I wish I had problems like yours
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It’s a good idea to learn early that you can’t change people. The only problem I see here is that he didn’t feel comfortable speaking about it and resorted to sneaking around. If he didn’t want to quit or at some point found himself unable to quit, he should have talked to you. So he either was afraid to talk to you or felt he couldn’t or both. This will make a person hide such things. This makes me think he feels powerless in the relationship. Truthfully he should be able to say that he disagrees or doesn’t wanna do something. Once baby is born he should be smoking/vaping outside the living space. But really this is a good way to push him away. Much like when a parent is too controlling, kids will do it anyway and sneak/lie. Have a calm conversation and reflect in your role in how this played out.
It’s your hormones- relax. He’s under pressure as well, don’t forget.
Is it the fact that you can’t while pregnant and feel he should also stop?
I get that. All the same, we’re the women and the ones that make the babies.
Tobacco is an addictive substance. Trying to force him to stop just because you are pregnant is not fair or realistic. Just because it may have been easy for you to quit doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy for him. Playing the gaslight and manipulation card is a bit far fetched. I understand being upset about him hiding it, but it doesn’t seem like you are being open to his side and giving him any other choice. Let him be human.
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You procreate with him knowing he vapes. You can’t change him. Don’t force him to change. Just accept it and move on or move on.
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I don’t think your mature enough for marriage. HE should be leaving YOU if you’re this controlling and demanding - and you’re not even married yet. No, thank you.
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1st of all RELAX… I quit smoking and started vaping while pregnant and my s/o did the same…quitting sucks and is hard and you don’t get to make that decision for him…
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The lying is the issue. Broken trust. It can undermine your trust in him for everything else. That may be why you’re having such a hard time with it.