He can’t vape but you let him smoke??
He lied because you put him in that position. He is a grown man. It’s your hormones
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FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! This person DOES NOT CARE enough about your health of YOUR baby together to stop a habit that is a Health Risk and thinks your stupid enough to believ. “someone” else left it here.
I feel like he’s not smoking in front of you, so he’s being considerate, yet he has an addiction and you’re blind to that. Who’s the real problem here?
the trust thing and the mother enabling it, not good at all. I found out a few years ago that my father in law was k
I hope you have a great plan in place for raising your child alone because this is how you become a single Mom. Holy wow! I would bail on your controlling azz yesterday. I pity your bf and future child. “YTA!”
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You’re heart broken over him vaping?!? Sounds like a privileged problem to me
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I mean… He’s not the pregnant one so why does he need to quit? Just ask him not to do it around you. You’re coming off as controlling so yes, it’s probably just the hormones bc it rly isn’t that big of a deal. I’m pregnant too and have to check myself sometimes bc the hormones make me unrealistic at times.
Are the fumes from vaping like second hand smoke? I think as long as he doesn’t vape in front of you, that should be good enough for you. I think by vaping you would feel better about it as smoking cigarettes is very bad for you and the baby.
You guys realize that the lying is the reason she’s so upset, right? It’s not the fact that he’s vaping, it’s the fact that he blatantly lied, deleting messages and calls, and betraying his significant other. I’m sure if he would have been outright w her she wouldn’t be nearly as upset as she is now.
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I get your upset bc he lied but come on it’s a vape! He could be out there doing wayyyy worse than vaping but yet he isn’t. You reacting this way is just gonna keep him from telling you anything 
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Let me say this from experience, that controlling shit you just described doesn’t there. If I were him, I would end the engagement and walk away.
All over a vape? My kids dad would lie to my face about doing drugs (and it’s not like he was just smoking pot) that’s something to be upset about. I don’t understand what the problem with him smoking is, he’s a grown man. If it’s you being around it then he can dismiss himself and do it away. Should he have lied no but I think over a vape is just ridiculous.
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The lying and sneaking is a much bigger problem than vaping. That’s the issue you need to deal with.
I’d be upset about the luring but I would never try to controls my partner like you are so I doubt I’d have the same issues
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It sounds like he didn’t want to quit and wanted you to feel supported in your efforts so he kept it away from you. He was in a lose/lose situation either way if you think about it but should’ve just been straight up with you.
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Life’s to short to fight over vaping trust me one day he’s here and happy and tomorrow he could be gone don’t waste your energy fighting trust me I know this first hand
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It doesn’t matter its his life not yours get over your self if he wants to vape/smoke then he can do if its that much of a problem then leave him and stop been controlling to the point he feels he needs to hide things from you!
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He shouldn’t lie and you shouldn’t require… there is a compromise, talk to each other openly , listen to each other and respect…
it’s a vape… not meth
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Uuum can I just say you sound extremely controlling. 
lol Why would you snoop your mans conversations with his MOM in the first place?? Then you said it soo casually like that’s just the norm for you. If he can’t even have a private conversation with his own family… Without you snooping and invading his space… You’re the problem. You don’t own him. He’s his own person. I’m not even going to touch down on the vaping… This entire post sounded ridiculous if you ask me. This went waaay beyond pregnancy hormones… Just saying.
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If he’s lying over a vape, it’s because you’re made such a big deal of it that he has no other choice - “I’m having such a hard time” That’s because you’re pregnant, not because he’s vaping. If you’re like this, expect him to be lying about the silliest stuff. If he isn’t vaping around you, leave him alone. You sound like an entitled spoiled brat whose throwing a temper tantrum because she isn’t getting her way. Grow up and let him vape ffs.
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Girl you’re fine. Lying is definitely a big no-go and if he’s lying about this, what’s he gonna do when he’s alone with your child? You have every right to get upset and and feel betrayed. Remember that how you feel mentally isn’t based off your physical hormones right now. He made the decision to deceive you about vaping or smoking instead of being honest or upfront that he was having issues. Honestly, he probably could have just always gone outside to smoke or vape while you’re pregnant or go to a completely different area than where the baby will be. But he chose the other route. I would talk with him, confront him as calmly as possible and see what he thinks you should do from there and let him know how you feel. Because how you feel and your mental health is SO important!!! And him being openly honest is also. That is how you will succeed as parents and married if you decide to do so. Love, please do what’s right for you and your baby.
It’s a vape
Not a women
He is trying to support you but hiding it is wrong he should of been upfront about it but I really don’t think you should be heartbroken about it
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You still let him smoke but not vape
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Eileen!!! He’s a vapour/smoker your acting like he a nonce (what’s he gunna do when he’s alone with YOUR child ) the child has 2 parents so there isn’t a your child about it and if his or hers dad wants to vape/smoke then so be it
Once a liar always a liar
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U don’t want him vaping but u allow him to smoke a cig??? This don’t add up for one and for two atleast he ain’t strung out on drugs or cheating on you… Boy boy boy I tell u. The things people come up with. Smh
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I mean it’s not cool that he lied but he probably just doesn’t want to do it in front of you making it harder for you to quit.
If you wouldn’t make such a big deal over a vape maybe just maybe he would have never felt the need to lie to you. Seriously the best advice I can give is to get over it. And take the stick out of your ass. Seems to be pretty far up there.
My fiancé quit smoking when we started dating cause I have children and he did it so easy just stopped one day … he did pick up vaping and keeps saying he wants to quit and he said it’s so hard to quit vaping that he tries but he just can’t that it’s harder then trying to stop smoking … so maybe it’s that? I just let it go cause it really isn’t that bad at least for me .
You can’t forse someone to quit. Sounds like he was trying to respect you from keeping it away from you.
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Choose your battles.
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I really hope you’re not serious
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Your complaining about him vaping? 
now that’s funny:rofl:
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Why does someone have to stop doing something because you stopped? Make it make sense
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Just let him smoke outside or away from you lol. My husband vapes in our room but not right next to o ur child and he smokes weed outside. I used to vape I juat didn’t care about it and I smoke weed every now and then, doesn’t make anyone a bad parent. Just do it outside the home. At least he’s respecting you and not smoking next to you.
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Just let him smoke outside or away from you lol. My husband vapes in our room but not right next to o ur child and he smokes weed outside. I used to vape I juat didn’t care about it and I smoke weed every now and then, doesn’t make anyone a bad parent. Just do it outside the home. At least he’s respecting you and not smoking next to you.
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I’d be thankful he’s hiding a vape and not another woman tbh. Everyone deals with stress in their own way and pregnancies are stressful. This doesn’t mean I condone lying but compromise has to be on the table. You need to learn to communicate with each other about this.
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Just because you had to quit doesn’t mean he does
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My favorite is how everyone is saying you’re the pregnant one so he shouldn’t have to support you in quitting vaping. As if he wasn’t the one to impregnate you:woozy_face:
honestly it seems as if changes should be made on both sides. Its disgusting that he’s going through such lengths to deceive you, but then again, why is it he feels like he has to? You’re completely valid in your feelings, but maybe try to see things from his side?
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It’s your hormones let him vape
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Yes, he lied. You have to come to terms with that. But he’s not doing in front of you, yes he should of told you he didn’t quit. Some may be hormones, …this is a hard one.
Trust and honesty are very important. But maybe you both should have sat down and talked about some more. Why didn’t he feel he could come to you, and say hey, I need to vape. Are you too controlling? His mom helping, well thats just what an enabler does.
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God help your child!
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Y’all are being rude af like pregnancy doesn’t make everyone emotional. I cried for three days cause my baby daddy stepped on a MOTH and I legit was heartbroken. Pregnancy hormones such. So yes. It’s a mix. You have a right to be upset a little but not distraught. Cause it also just vaping. Discuss doing it away from you instead of just straight up lying to you. And trying to talk to you about that he isn’t ready to stop. You can’t make someone stop anything. They have to want it to.
This post is super immature. As Dr. Laura said, you knew he smoked and got with him, but now that you have him you want to change his bad habits, and that’s not how it works.
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Calm down. You’re over reacting in this case. Fair enough he should have told you but it doesn’t warrant you being so worked up.
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She sounds immature actually.
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You’ve beyond e-emasculated him. If he is so paranoid that he is deleting calls and texts to his lol it sounds like you have an extremely controlling issue over him.
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This is pathetic its a vape! Have you any idea how hard it is to give up cigarettes? Let alone try and just stop vaping? I’d be more thankful its a vape and not a ciggy! No smell off a vape or anything! I think you owe him an apology and maybe support him as its not easy giving up the nicotine!
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I had the same issue actually but I didn’t tell him he couldn’t vape. He started it up again when I was a few months pregnant. I let him know my concerns about it with his health and as it says online it’s not good for me to be around even breathing it in. He was respectful and would make sure he blew it outside and not around me. He’s recently decided on his own that he wants to quit after he’s done his last juice tube, and I never pushed that on him.
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Tell that man I said RUNNNN
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In my situation, we both quit smoking and it was for a while. Then my partner started vaping. Its annoying to me because we both agreed on it and now he’s reverted. Does it annoy me? Yes, it’s an expensive hobby added on to his drinking hobby. Does he hide it from me? No. I only ask him to stop, I’m not forcing him. No one should have to hide who they are. (We used to smoke cigarettes and he vaped to quit. Then quit vaping yet somehow started again when he quit drinking. Now he drinks and vapes.)
It’s your harmones and also it’s not right to control people like a warden
When your together with a person your together it doesn’t give you control over every minute of his life what makes you think your right to treat him that way ?
You “let”him still vape are u serious? That is extremely controlling you cant tell him what to do hes your partner not your child….
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It’s not meth its a vape SMH
Yoooo. You’re hormonal he’s stressed trying to not take your mood swings personally and just normal stuff about having a baby all us parents worry about. I don’t think it’s fair you’re asking this of him especially cold turkey. It’s nicotine girl he’s addicted. It’s not betrayal he’s just trying to comfort himself. I mean I could totally be wrong but I definitely think you should try cutting the guy some slack cause I’ve smoked both cigarettes and vapes and I promise vapes are way harder to quit. If he’s not doing it around you or the baby then I think you should ease on the guy but ya know that’s just my opinion and you don’t have to agree
Omg girl pick your battles maybe its the hormones cause you shouldn’t be this worried about vapeing, he’s probably stressed also like you are… just saying its not big deal you knew he did it before he doesn’t have to stop because you did
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I don’t think the vape should be your main concern here and I’m sad so many moms want to be petty and be hung up about the vape that no one’s talking about the REAL problem which is him LYING to you and GASLIGHTING you over something so insignificant. If he’s willing to do that over a vape, I’d hate to see what other things he’d gaslight you over. You need to RUN mama!
Me and my husband smoked when we were younger. When I became pregnant for my daughter I quit. I only asked him that he smoke outside and not in the car. Same thing again when I had my son. I don’t think he was lying to betray you and i dont condone lying at all, I just think it’s a hard habit to quit. He probably wanted to make you happy and then just had a harder time than he thought. From experience I can tell you nagging him is NOT going to work. My advice would be to let him be. As long as he’s not vaping around the baby when it’s here 
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This is ridiculous. He is vaping not smoking crack. Quitting nicotine is so hard. I’d much rather my partner vape than smoke and if it helps him quit smoking that’s a good a thing. Lying however is not you should be mad about the lie and maybe ask yourself why he felt the need to lie without excusing that he did.
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Hormones can wreck havoc. Relax. Enjoy yr pregnancy and don’t worry Abt what he’s doing. U said u trust him. 
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It’s hormones. I was a young pregnant teen, so I was still living with my mom and dad at the time. I cried because my dad told me we only had vanilla pudding and no chocolate. I cried alot about that idek why. But as long as he’s being respectful and keeping it from you. I don’t see the problem. He is probably nervous about becoming a dad. Be happy it was just a vape you were finding. If that’s all he has to hide then yall are in good shape. His actions show he loves you, just remember you’re both going through this pregnancy. And I won’t lie, but it does seem a bit controlling. If there is ONE thing I have learned from all the relationships in my life, nobody is going to stop doing anything for you, unless they are ready to do it for themselves
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I understand being upset cause he lied about it but you can’t control it either as long as he does it outside or not around you being Prego I think you will be ok. I get being upset about him lying about it though. Choose your battles wisely.
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Robert is like his dad he smokes outside.
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Quitting vaping is hard! I haven’t smoked a cigarette in just over two years and turned to vaping instead. Tried quitting that and it’s hard as fuck.
My hubby had to quit with me otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to , I understand , and if you make a pact together id be upset too. Not to mention with a new baby coming I imagine you want to save the money. It’s a hard habit to kick though trying to be understanding and supportive but set you’re boundaries again.
Get him life insurance and let him do it.
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You have the right to be mad that he lied and hide stuff from u but u can’t tell a grown person they can’t do something stopping smoking is hard
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Why are you trying to control a full grown adult? He’s not your child & can vape if he chooses to. You’re being controlling & overbearing so of course he lied to you. You’re treating him like a child. Check your emotions & hormones.
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Dude he is a grown man n you sound like Hitler n who wants to marry Hitler
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Uh, hormones for sure. He’s as adult too. May not be ideal he smokes, but his body, his choice.
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Stop being a whine ass
He shouldn’t have to sneak. If I can’t do it neither can you? I would never let someone decide for me that way I hold no secrets. No I’m not going to stop because sativa is medicine.
Lolol goodness gracious I’d do stuff behind your back too
You said you let him keep smoking because you didn’t want to treat him unfairly. so why do you feel betrayed. Because he is still smoking. at least he’s not smoking around you or in the house.
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How was him smoking, any better than him vaping?
Be mad that he hid stuff, but know he only hid it bc you were trying to make a grown man do something. 
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It is entirely his choice whether he chooses to smoke or vape. I smoke but my partner doesn’t. Yes he would prefer if I didn’t but he would never tell me I couldn’t. However, he shouldn’t have lied or hidden what he was doing. But I think you need to let him make his own mind up about it and if he wants to smoke then make some compromise like him smoking outside etc. I smoke outside and I’ve also cut down a lot since being with someone who doesn’t smoke so maybe that will work but without the controlling factor of him being told what to do.
He should have told her straight up that he wasn’t going to quit instead lying to her. That’s the betrayal. If you are going to do it don’t lie about it.
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My husband smokes very little. He has done near the end of every one of my pregnancy. I don’t smoke but it’s his choice his body. He respects not smoking around our kids. He smokes outside which is all I ask.
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It’s a vape not crack 
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Be understanding it is harder to your for some people congrats on you quiting
Yeahhhhhhh stop blaming your controlling behavior on your pregnancy.
He is not pregnant and not harming anyone or anything and quite frankly is not doing it in front of your face as a curtesy. Let it go and stop smothering this poor guy
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Yeahhhhhhh stop blaming your controlling behavior on your pregnancy.
He is not pregnant and not harming anyone or anything and quite frankly is not doing it in front of your face as a curtesy. Let it go and stop smothering this poor guy
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It’s bad on your lungs.
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You can’t tell another adult what to do. You can ask. As long as he’s not doing it around you, let it go. Pick your battles.
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This is crazy af… you “let him”? Are you his mother? I would understand if it was drugs but its only a vape and if hes not doing it around you theres no problem… if this is how you act prior to baby, i feel bad for dude after
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Don’t sweat the small stuff . Just ask him not to vape infront of you so your not tempted . I don’t think u can tell him he can’t vape that’s just controlling
Gaslighting? Poor guy can’t even text his mom without being up his butt geez!
This is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever read 
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Over a vape it’s absolutely dumb he’s a grown man and it’s not very serious but the lying deleting ALLLLLLL those trusts and morals and good feelings get flushed down the toilet hands down and if they’ll do it over a vape they’ll do it over anything
Forget all that disrespect that’s like my baby’s dad and grandma I CANT even feel safe trusting them with my kids because boundaries don’t exist to them and every word is a lie
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Well first of all are you his mommy. He is a grown ass man. And can do what he wants. If he isn’t smoking around you then what is the problem. Now to the soon to be father of Ms. Control freaks baby dude run get as far away from her as you can. If she is this controlling and y’all aren’t even married yet. She is going to make your life miserable.
He lied. RED FLAG. His mom helped him lie. RED FLAG.
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Hormones hun just let it go as long as he doesn’t vape around you there shouldn’t be a problem
Yeah, go on with that “because I’m pregnant” crap.
You are allowed to have dealbreakers. And lying is deceitful. Did you have an issue with these things before the pregnancy
I’m reading this as my husband is vaping right next to me. I don’t smoke nor vape . That’s my choice. His choice is to vape . He is his own person and I do not control him . Regardless I do understand that it’s the lying you might be more upset over but when you act in such a way I feel that he might have hid it from you based on the reaction you are having now.
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You’d rather have him smoking than vaping? Okay.
And somewhere there are dolphins and whales beached and you think you’ve got problems… I think he did his best trying to appease you it seems like you are looking for problems when there is none.
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