Is it unfair or am I being a little much, when I am constantly paying for child related items when my fiancé gets to ‘save’ said money yet has none when I’m completely down to my last pennies.
He purposely keeps money from me when he has more than I do. He’s unwilling to split bills.
It feels very one sided…
Is this enough for someone to feel the need to leave a relationship
4 years and 2 kids.
It was a fast relationship
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My fiance saves rather than helps with finances - Mamas Uncut
That’s unacceptable, communication is key, if it’s discussed and continues then it’s definitely enough to leave…so you take care of everything and he just loves his best life, NO!
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Sounds like you’re already a single mom I’d just make him leave at that point.
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Red Flag. Kick him to the curb.
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Financial abuse…kick him out.
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That almost sounds like emotional abuse. I’d go. If you know he keeps $$ from you on purpose like that he’s already in the realm of headgames.
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Having separate money is one thing but if you guys are living as a couple and he doesn’t pitch it, while you’re penny pitching, is not cool. Have a serious talk about it, and if he doesn’t comply, move on.
You should be able to get your self a damn cup of coffee instead of worry about being flat broke while he’s banking all the extra cash.
You’re engaged to that?? Oh hell nah
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Kick him to the curb! That’s emotional/financial abuse! Know your worth hun!
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I would ask him why he feels he should save money while your paying for everything
File for child support
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So I’m so confused at the word fiancé….
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Are you even sure that he’s saving the money or he’s just telling you to backoff ?
Even if he was saving but he was supposed to atleast help you with the kid’s needs.
He probably even proposed just to hold you down because these guys know how desperate women are to get engaged and married. You’re a single mother. Up to you to decide what you want to do.
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Doesn’t sound like a much of a relationship. Kicks him to the curb. Sounds like you don’t need him around anyway, if your financially paying for everything. Once he’s out take his ass to court.
Yikes runnnn don’t marry that 
he’s already being financial abusive if he’s not helping you financially then you can def do it alone.
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May as well be on your own
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When you leave he will have to pay his child support. And if for whatever reason he doesn’t, you’re no worse off than you are now but you don’t have his sorry ass to deal with. Financial abuse is still abuse. Get out.
…it would be cheaper to take the kids and leave, then you can save the money that used to feed him…
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Melissa Jean exactly plus collect child support.
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Tell him to share or u will get your share from support
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Dude if you’re already doing it yourself why is he there exactly? Had that issue myself and told SO the same thing he makes 1.5x I do an hour. If you reach out for assistance from your local department atleast here they will go after him for child support anyways. Like I need your help bro and if you don’t help me ill have no choice but to ask for help and youll be helping regardless so you want to help on your terms or the states terms which will it be? No department assistance here so you can see how that turned out. Look up your local Department of Social services or call them, let them know you need help, if you don’t want to go that route then just apply for child support. Try to reason with him first and explain to him whats going to happen if he doesn’t step up, you have that ability and the power to do so especially if your long game is on point. I only had to clarify my options one time to SO and it changed. Try to reason and if that don’t work ,110% leave and reach out for help cuz you’re already doing it by yourself
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He been comfortable doing it because you been letting him for so long speak up and let him know pay up or you leavening he probably might change
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Saves? As in for your wedding?
Idk if you want to leave there’s no such thing as “justified”
You can leave simply for wanting to. Just make a decision.
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Wtf? You all live together and have 2 kids and he doesn’t at least split bills? Time to say put in or get out.
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If this is the only issue in the relationship, sit him down and have a conversation about it, like adults. You share a life, children and bills. You share the responsibility. If he isn’t willing to start splitting everything 50/50, you have options. You’re not married, so go file for child support. The state will force him to help support his children, if nothing else. If it continues to be an issue, I’d walk away. You have two children and yourself who’s best interest should be your priority!
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Nope, y’all aren’t married split the bills. It’s not fair for you to have nothing to fall back on.
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no financial support in a relationship with children. sounds like you’re a single mother already.
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If he is controlling you financially, that’s not a healthy relationship. Maybe counseling could help. If he’s not contributing to the family finances to help support the children that’s a big problem.
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Try to sit down with him alone and have a serious conversation. Beforehand, right down all the bills and expenses that you both have and then split that in half. If he chooses to not accept his half of the joint responsibility, then you go to plan b. Tell him you will be forced to get government assistance and child support started because you physically cannot do it anymore, you need help
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Is he paying rent/mortgage? What is he saving for, a house? Himself or nothing specific, he’s just stingy? Do you not have any joint account for joint expenses? Do you go overboard shopping, e.g., buying the more expensive stuff or too many items when generic or one would do? Ask him what money represents to him, then listen. Then ask him why he doesn’t seem to trust you with “his” money. Ask him what he thinks his responsibilities are to the family and what he thinks yours are. Do you know how he grew up and how his parents and siblings were/are? Was he poor? Did his parents spend like drunken sailors? Did he have to pay for everything himself starting at a young age?
Go to marriage counseling. A pro can pry out the psychological reasons why each of you are the way you are and guide you to a better way to live. If after a time things go not improve (and remember, what you allow will continue), then carefully plan your exit, with the goal being an amicable split, good co-parenting and your getting adequate child support.
Good luck. I hope this situation can be resolved (which might mean ongoing counseling every so often to reinforce equitable contributions. But if not, you will be fine on your own, just have a good support system in place.
And write back and let us know how it goes!
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People saying talk to him 
they have kids that should be a no brainer he should willingly help without being asked. What man wouldn’t be willing to help out?? I’d leave he’s just dead weight not worth the time he definitely is seeing you struggle and not helping:unamused: selfish man child!
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If you’re paying all of the bills, then exactly what is he there for? You’re doing it all on your own while he gets to spend or save his money as he pleases. May as well kick that man child to the curb and have one less mouth to feed. Tell him to start paying half of the bills or GTFO.
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Sound like a personal problem to me , fix it
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For some reason this makes me feel like he’s controlling.
He knows if you spend all of your money then you have no cushion. So you could never leave.
If you can do it on your own without his help then do it without him.
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It will be cheaper for you to take your kids & support them on your own. You could get child support (be smart get copies of his pay stubs & bank statements if you can) & qualify for assistance you don’t know because of his income. Plus if he takes visitation you’ll have that time that you’re not having to provide food, clothing etc. His time he provides. Evict him.
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What a piece of 
kick him out you are better off alone!
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And you allow this why?
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I’d be rethinking the whole relationship. That’s not being a team or even in a relationship.
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I’m not sure who is laughing at all these logical comments but could you explain yourself?? Why is it funny that she’s operating like a single mother?? Why is it funny that her partner won’t help financially?? Why is it funny that someone suggested counseling?? Got some dumb ass people in this group if your really thinking the guy is not in the wrong here.
That’s not a relationship you want. It’s financial abuse and while it’s good to save, you still need to make it day to day. He’s not contributing now, he’s not going to. When married that money becomes yours too as much as they don’t want to think so. My ex was like that with money he made and even the vehicles he put only in his name.
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If you don’t pay your way you don’t get to stay.
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Unwilling to split bills? That man should be doing more than splitting bills. You’re already a single mom. Kick the dead weight to the curb.
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I’m sorry, but Fountain Scott Michael out here laughing like a little girl…. It tickles me 
makes me wonder if this was posted by his SO 
That is financial abuse.
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I mean. Youre aready doing it now. You may be a lil richer and he a lil broke, when you take him to court for that child support. Maybe he woulda thought twice then lmao 
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You know, you could threaten to leave him and also to leave the kids with him. His mama wouldn’t let him get away with that stuff, so why should you? Everyone loves their kids, but kids are frankly a financial burden. Women need to threaten the fathers with 100% custody of the kids more often - I’ve seen this threat work wonders.
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Good thing you aren’t married, yet. I say don’t do it. Don’t get married that is. Don’t pay for stuff. Find a new place. Maybe he is saving to leave you.
Communication! It’s really NOT that hard! Get over yourselves and communicate.
Split Bill’s, set a account for Bill’s and child needs then each deposit half in period. Then what you have left is yours and what he has left is his to do as you guys see fit .
Shut up shop see how long he last😁
Put him on child support if he is unwilling to support them on his own.
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Get out as fast as you got in
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If he’s not splitting bills WHY is he living there?
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He shouldn’t be living there or eating your food if he isn’t paying half of everything. Kick him out and file for child support. He sounds like a burden who is practicing financial abuse.
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If he treats you this badly now it will only get worse if you get married. As the children get older the expenses will increase. Leave now and make a life with someone who wants to share his life with you and the children. You need the stability of a shared home that has your two names on the deed so that when he decides he has a big enough bank account you won’t be homeless. Value yourself and put yourself and your children first.
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Youre living together…all income is household income not personal.
Maybe have a separate account each and a portion of household income goes in there for personal use
If hes not willing…hes dead weight…get rid
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He should be paying all bills since he has the kids. Why are you playing along ? He’s greedy and this relationship will never work. People will treat you bad as long as you let them. The old saying is “ if you hand someone a bag of poop and they don’t take it then guess what ? “ they are stuck with their poop
Put him on child support if you’re going to stay . but these are red flags and doesn’t people don’t usually change
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You are being abused financially and emotionally. You’ve got to be kidding me that he thinks it’s okay NOT to SPLIT bills. I think you’re really going to have to do some soul searching in this situation…You must feel totally alone and drained due to how your partner is acting. I know I couldn’t be in a situation like that, it just is not what a relationship is all about. You’d be better off alone and getting child support. I would get some advice from a lawyer.
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Heck yeah he should be helping
Time for him to leave and for you to file for support and custody. This man was never a good partner nor parent if he’s letting you get down to pennies and he’s doing who knows what with his money. He’s showing you now how he intends to be as a husband and father…. Believe him!
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If your gonna do it alone you might as well be alone. I did got sick of it.
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Better get while the getting is good woman. Believe me I know .
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Tell him to stop being selfish. I would only pay half the bills and let him pay the rest!! Or just leave and it will be less expensive!!
Put him child support and leave him
Get out before he is your “husband” & you can still walk away without a messy (and expensive) divorce!!! If he hasn’t changed by now, he’s not gonna.
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I will kick him out file for child support
He’d either be kicking in an agreed upon amount or he’d be gone.
Love has NOTHING to do with it. He IS using YOU.
And, personally, I would have everything put in writing. All nice and legal. Through an Attorney if possible, if not then at least Notorized. If Notorized, I would give him a copy, keep a copy and have (probably) 4 copies to Family and Friends that I really Trust.
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He got to go if he is not paying or helping u pay for things he does not get to live for free put him out and get child support for the kids …what I would not do is make him ut husband
Leave then you will be eligible for child support
Get child support then until your married
Leave. Get child support. Then you have yours and have his to support babies.
Fountain must be her fiance!
Yes, leave!!! He is using you and controlling you.
Trust me. It won’t change. It will only get worse once you are married. Leave . My bet is he won’t pay child support, but you will be supporting one less child—-him!
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Wow, yup, bye! File for child support asap