When u dump him he will still be their daddy he will have to pay and help with them on his time
You know the answerâŠif you have daughters this is how they are being taught a man should treat themâŠif you have sons they are being taught this is how to treat a woman. Do what you already know you need to do for yourself and the kids. Six years is long enough.
If he doesnât fight for you to stay then heâs comfortable disrespecting you and making you feel alone. I wouldnât stay. Itâs not worth it. You guys can agree on a healthy co-parenting agreement through the court for the kids. Unfortunately, you canât make somebody try or put in effort. You deserve to be happy. If heâs not willing to see what heâs doing wrong, it will never change. I keep telling my mom this also, because my dad is the exact same way.
Get rid of him he is no good it might be hard at first but you will get there and you will be proud of what you achieved
An life to short never forget that
Leave honey, like you said youâre still young and life is too short. I left my ex and it was hard because I was pregnant and had a toddler. But three years later we have become a good co parenting team. And I met the love of my life. And have never been happier.
You canât change a person.
Leave as fast as you can and donât look back
Leave. You already know the answer typing this out.
You deserve betterâŠ
He needs to move back in with mom so she can finish raising him. 2 toddlers is enough, you donât need a 3rd!
Kick him to the curb. Love yourself and your kids and move on. Sending positive vibes.
IdkâŠwill you be? This sounds abusive ⊠at least manipulative. Think for yourself babe
If he keeps showing you the door, show him the window and throw him out of it
Get out of this relationship soon!!
Instead of listening and proving he can be and do better or at least hears you and cares, heâs showing that he doesnât care and threatening you that you canât do better or be happy.
Heâs trying to manipulate your possible happy future without having to do a damn thing to change. Listen to him when he says he doesnât care and would so easily show you the door.
If there ever came a time my husband and I didnât stay together, regardless of the reason, he loves me and would never even entertain the idea of me or my kids leaving our home. He would leave and still make sure we are taken care of and I am okay, so I canât continue to be a great mom for our kids.
Heâs immature and selfish.
Stop trying to get him to change and work on doing what you need to do to be happy and healthy and to continue being the mom you need to be. Iâve seen this many times and itâs funny how they change their tune when you can and do start doing better without them. He thinks he has the upper hand for whatever reason and I promise you can do better and will, if you choose to!
Maybe he needs an eye opener, maybe heâll always be this way but, stop trying to change someone who only cares about themselves. Do what you want and do what you need, regardless of how he acts or does/doesnât do and things will get better with or without him!
Pray, Focus on self-love and your kids,
Why are you still with him??
Leave he sounda awful
U doing it byself at this point anyways
ManipulationâŠmaybe heâs a narcissist but leave.
Leave and be happy with your kids run run never look back
6 years??? Thatâs way too long to have tolerated that bs. I know itâs easier said than done but you need to move on and make room for the good to come into your life. You definitely deserve someone way more appreciative of you and trust me, there are plenty of men out there to choose from. Stop wasting your time on someone who doesnât see your value.
I would leave if I was you. If youâre so unhappy then why not leave? I wouldnât be with some one like that. Youâll be much happier when youâre not with him
Leave and never go back to him. Even when he come begging and pretend to change for a few months. That boy ainât changed. Once he got you under his fingers, heâll be the same again.
Be with someone who empowers you, encourage you, supports you, loves you, and respects you.
Youâve stayed (4 years) too long in a relationship thatâs not working with a person who isnât interested in improving. If it donât fit donât force it. You and the toddlers deserve BETTER. Good luck
change the locks asap!
Take your kids and leave. Finish school and live your life. He says what he says because he knows you can be happy without him. You have to know your self worth. Donât let your kids see their dad disrespect their mother. Love yourself and your kids enough to know that you are worth so much more. Only we can make ourselves happy. Good luck
Do you believe youâll be? Thatâs the real question. If you believe what he says then yes itâs true. If you believe youâre that BAMF you are and you could make it in a shoe box with a plastic straw well then you will!!! Donât let anyone tell you what youâre worth ever!!! They donât your strengthâŠ
Promise you youâll be far happier on your own. Wonât feel it at first but youâll look back in a few months and think omg why didnât I leave him sooner. Boy bye x
Bebegirl bye!
- thereâs others things that could be said. But mama, you are worth so much fuqing more than that⊠you know that. You know this. This is abuse and he is only trying to keep you there. I wouldnât normally advice leaving⊠but I believe youâd truly be off happier on your own. Is it lonely? Well yeah! Does it suck? Ohhhhh yeah? Will it hurt? Bet your ass it will! But the strength that will come from this will pour over you and your children. You will be a fierce force to be reckoned with. Fight for you and your children⊠and a man worthy of you and who YOU deserve will care for you and them.
Leave and take your kids. What are you waiting for?
Marrying this guy will lead to premature aging and stress. He wants you there so he doesnât have to try to find someone else. Youâre a person who has it together and heâs in it for the ride. Imagine the audacity of telling you that you wonât be happy if you leave. Statistically, men are happy in marriage and women are miserable. No one should make the mistake of marrying anyone who doesnât treat them like gold. Marriage only makes men lazier and worse so if they are already starting at the bottom, itâs only gonna get worse from there. Donât marry this guy. Run run run.
Why would you consider staying with him, heâs using you. Walk away!
Run and donât look backđ
Just maybe you were both young when you got married had two children now novelty has worn off after 6 yrs .either you sit down talk or go your seperate ways .but do not use children as weapons you need to be able to parent the children both of you .you both need to grow up .he needs to show you he does love you not disrespect you or you him .what ever you do choose wisely and good luck to both of you and your children .hope you manage to sought yourselves out x
Why would you stay an option to someone who completely disrespects you? Muchless have children with him? What could possibly go wrong? Him walking out shouldâve been your first clue. He doesnât respect you or appreciate you because heâs too busy taking advantage of you. The only reason he is back is because no one else is dumb enough to put up with his bullshit and take care of everything for him like you do. If youâre going to do everything yourself, whatâs the point in having him around? Kick him to the curb and quit being his doormat. You decide what you will and wonât allow. Donât settle. You deserve better. You deserve a partner and friend who will work side by side with you. Not one who thinks you exist for his every whim. Thatâs no way to live. And itâs sure as hell not the example you want your children to emulate. Demand more. For yourself, and your children. If he doesnât meet your standards, he can GTFO.
Get out before you make it lega and then it will cost you a fortune for lawyers
Leave, Iâve been there⊠And trust me itâs the kids that always suffer more, they see and hear everything⊠So do it for your kids more than anything! In time youâll meet someone who appreciates you and knows your worth x
Your doing everything now by yourself. You will be much happier not having to worry that he is around. Trust your gut you know what you need to do
You already know what to do. You donât need us to tell you.
Change the locks n get rid x
Yes, leave! If someone acts like they donât care about you, believe them! I donât see that you have anything at all to lose.
He is only telling you that you will be unhappy to scare you into staying.
I think you already know the answer
Two happy homes are better than one miserable one.
Leave leave leave!!! My ex was same, like down to the threats, then he threatened to walk out and I held a door for him, he did try to return but he was locked out. Best decision ever.
It sounds like you already answered your own question, and you sound like you know what you shluld do. Call off the engagement your clearly not happy. Easier to do it now rather then when ur married. Donât try and stick around for the kids. The kids end up seeing your relationship like that they might end up that same way because they might think this is normal and its not. They should see you be single and happy, rather then being in a relationship thatâs draining and miserable.
Take your kids and leave âŠsometimes itâs just not worth it and your kids are probably as miserable as you areâŠ
You will feel alive again if you leave!!!
If you are still a fiancĂ© after 6 years Iâd change locks and move on. Get support and a new life
Girl. Your situation sounds almost identical to mine. I stayed for way too long âfor the kidsâ. I finally left and I am loving life again. And mine and the babiesâ mental health are soooo much better now as well. If youâre feeling unloved, unwanted, and unappreciated, then leave. Youâll be thankful.
Sounds like my ex fiancé. I kicked him out in March and have never been happier
You already know what you want to do. I donât know why youâre looking for approval from strangers to do it.
I be gone sounds like you take care of everything but the financial as is they offer help with thay
Giiiiirl, in seriously crying right now. You totally described my relationship. im trying to get myself to get away. Technically hes in my apt⊠But he wont just pack and go. Id have to have him evicted⊠(We cant do that till atleast January due to covid ) so i need to get brave enough to move outta MY house. Most likeky into a different town and school district⊠Which makes me feel like a total failure as a mom. But is totally not healthy for me or my 12 year old son, who listens to him be so nasty towards me. I just try to sit there and take it. You need to leave him and take care of yourself. The mental and emotional abuse is not anyway to live. Please, get away from him. My heart breaks for you. But remember, you are NOT alone. Stay strong, be brave, and get away. Youll be happy you did.
Iâm not even reading the whole thing. Girl. Run like hell. You may STRUGGLE but that doesnât mean you wonât be HAPPY.
Leave while youâre still young. Heâs an emotional abuser. It WILL turn into all other types of abuse, (he will never see it as abuse and will even try to make you believe it wasnât/isnât). Know better. This life gets shorter everytime we turn on the news and thereâs enough mind fucking that goes on outsides our homes that we donât need that crap in our peaceful space. Go find your happy place, Mama.
Donât be afraid to leave. You practically already a single mom raising three kids (him included). So do yourself a favor and lose him and raise your babies to be better people. He sounds like an child that never grew up. I know you love him, but he does appreciate you and that hurts the most. Yes, itâll hurt to leave and actually be a single mom two two kids, but you are strong for putting up with his disrespectfulness. Once you leave, itâs a weight off of your shoulders. Your babies need a happy mom, and you deserve better then that guy.
Leave. Youâre not a tree, you can move. Just leave. Seems pointless to stay.
Heâs a narcissistâ dump him
Contact a lawyer ⊠Know what youâre entitled to ⊠Then tell him to leave ⊠You have the children and their lives should not be disrupted ⊠This pattern is going to continue ⊠He will continue to make you feel like youâre nothing ⊠What he did infront of your toddler is only the beginning⊠The kids are seeing this and as they get older they will also have no respect for you ⊠You are young now ⊠You will be so much happier without him ⊠You will be able to concentrate on you and your kids and good things will come to you ⊠Donât waste your life ⊠Hugs
Cut your losses and move on. Do NOT marry this turd.
Doesnât sound like he loves you. Why would he leave if you do everything for him including praising his ego? Itâs time to treat him the way he treats you. Iâd pack his bags and tell him to get out.
Absolutely no way you wonât be !!!
Best thing I did same as you ! You couldnât do any more ! Not 9 year on best thing ever ! I have a beautiful hubby thatâs been made just for me ! Found on the dating Webb ! Youâll never look back promise!! I can say with my two daughters were 8,10 was super hard work but big girl pants on and bright lippy you will do it chick !
You should leave girl, its not worth being miserable n he obviously donât give af, If he shows you the door. Take his acts as exactly what they are and runâŠso sorry your going through this. .I know it sucksâŠ
Drop the dead weight. Too many red flags in this relationship. Do the inner work so you donât choose a different male character after you end it with this one that then turns out to be the same. If you donât work on breaking patterns, you will choose same type of partner again. Making an exit plan is imperative. Donât tell him what moves youâre making, do it all in stealth mode, go about your business quietly. Donât give him a heads up, donât threaten, none of that nonsense. Look up exit plans on Tina Swithin Facebook page One Momâs Battle and you will get lots of info from others whoâve been there, done that. Be strategic and put yourself in a good position to lead your single mom life as best as you can. It really does take a village so build a village around yourself to get the support you will need in years to come in raising up your children. This dude is a man-child, never gonna change and his behaviors scream emotionally immature and narcissistic tendencies so heâs no good for you.
It would hurt a lot less and you would be a lot happier if you left him. He is no good for you or those kids.
Hook up with me and let a real man get some of that pussy than you will leave his ass
Yeah donât be surprised if heâs already cheating on you âŠmy ex husband in my first marriage did while I was alone raising our four sons âŠbest wishes
Resentment doesnât get better its over. I was married for 12 years the Resentment started 4-5 years in⊠I was set to leave and I got pg I thought it was a sign not to leave⊠after the baby came the Resentment grew stronger⊠it was enough when she was 3 I was done. Leave Iâm telling you, showing your kids what happiness can be and what it is⊠is so much more important than keeping the family together. Donât plant seeds in their heads to settle just because⊠show them what life is by being ALIVE
Heâs too much a coward to break it off, but it really sounds like thatâs what he wants. He wants you to leave? Go.
Sounds like you got yourself a Mommaâs boy. Start looking for a manly man.
Run take the kids and dont go back
Quit asking for help. Tell him he needs to help. Leave if he wonât help. If youâre going to do it alone do it alone. You donât need the added weight to your life
Kick him out⊠if the house is in joint names, you have as much right to show him the door as you.
It sounds like he could be cheating⊠call his bluff!!
But before you do⊠prepare yourself financially, mentally and physically!
LEAVE, like yesterday js
Let him have a relationship with his children, but get out of this situation ASAP! It wonât get better as much as you wish it would. Maybe once you leave, heâll see what a good thing he had and appreciate you more. He sounds like an extremely self absorbed person that has not one thought for you!!
Iâd leave! it would hurt at first but eventually youâll move forward and find peace! Because thatâs not a good relationship itâs toxic and itâs not healthy!!
youâre showing your kids that being in a toxic relationship is okay. you need to leave and leave now. donât put up with that BOY. he seems like a pos fiancĂ©e and father. You already resent him. thatâs not going to change. In 6 yearsâŠSIX YEARS he couldnât help around or be a parent or accept any type of chance. Nah. Heâs probably been cheating on you snd thatâs why he acts like this.
Iâve been through this same exact thing and when I did leave I only wished I had left earlier. I wasted so much time and nothing ever changed it only got worse.
Leave, you arent really being appreciated or respected where you are at. Just remember when it comes to time, you dont get a refund on a bad relationship.
I would leave and yes you will be hapoier
Leave! I promise you will be happier
Anyone that claims you canât be happy without them doesnât deserve you. Especially if heâs already walked out on you.
PffftâŠno, hes just trying to control you. Be smart thing about what you really want before you actually marry. Divorce is no picnicâŠjust as well to prevent if possible. I sure has hell didnt follow my very visible warning signs.
It doesnât change with marriage. Leave now. Single momming ainât easy but itâs so much better than being constantly criticize and ignored and your toddlers pick up on things way faster than you realize.
There are men out there who know how to build up their women and treat them like queens.
Donât settle. You can walk away and it sounds like you are a very strong woman. Youâve got the strength to survive.
I was a single mom for a few years after my divorce. I didnât think I had the strength but I did. Then I found an amazing man who builds me up, loves my kids, is my partner in all things in life and gives me butterflies!
There are real men out there. Donât settle for less
Sounds like you need to leave.
Iâm a firm believer in trying everything to work it out because the children are who suffer when there is a divorce. Seek therapy from a pastor or therapist. You have two toddlers and three children ( one being an adult). Youâre tired and overwhelmed. He may be overwhelmed and feeling helpless. Try everything. It isnât easy being alone and raising children by yourself and the grass isnât always greener.
Yes pack up and leave⊠never look back and if any doubts creep into your mind just look back at this post and remember how awful it made you feel writing it because of the treatment youâve received. There is absolutely no way in hell anyone would over step my parenting. Not even the father!
You definitely answered your own question. Leave before the marriage even happens
What everyone said above
Run away now! You deserve what you are asking for! donât look back!
Leave. When they say stuff like that, itâs sheer manipulation and emotional abuse. You will be better off on your own, and chances are, you will find someone who does all the things he refuses to do.
Cassie spent 10 YEARS with Diddy and they broke up with nothing but memories to show for a DECADE together. Then she met someone else and got engaged AND pregnant in LESS than 1 yearâ:revolving_hearts: I been saying it for YEARS. These men know WHAT they want and WHO they want it from. Donât let your boyfriend keep you from your HUSBAND, sis. Life is too shortâ:woman_shrugging: You could meet someone TODAY who has better intentions for you than a man youâve known for 10 years.
I seen this and had to share with you
Sounds like youâre already unhappy
Girl, itâs time to go!! He isnât worth it!
Do you want to teach your little ones that this is the kind of treatment that men/women deserve from the ones that supposedly love them? Sounds like heâs trying to break your spirit into submission that you canât live without him regardless of how he treats you and thus far you are letting him win with his thoughts - if you and your children deserve better, want better then go and get better bc sweetie it ainât going to get any better where you are right now thatâs for sure. Good luck in whatever road you choose to travel.
Jus go. You say you got it all alone now. Leaving will be good for you.
6 years to long. Time to leave sweetie. If a man treats you less than a queen then he doesnât deserve you. Time to start a new chapter with your children and be happy. Your children deserve to see their mama happy.