My fiance tells me I will be unhappy if I leave, but will I be?

When u dump him he will still be their daddy he will have to pay and help with them on his time

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You know the answer
if you have daughters this is how they are being taught a man should treat them
if you have sons they are being taught this is how to treat a woman. Do what you already know you need to do for yourself and the kids. Six years is long enough.

If he doesn’t fight for you to stay then he’s comfortable disrespecting you and making you feel alone. I wouldn’t stay. It’s not worth it. You guys can agree on a healthy co-parenting agreement through the court for the kids. Unfortunately, you can’t make somebody try or put in effort. You deserve to be happy. If he’s not willing to see what he’s doing wrong, it will never change. I keep telling my mom this also, because my dad is the exact same way.

Get rid of him he is no good it might be hard at first but you will get there and you will be proud of what you achieved

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An life to short never forget that

Leave honey, like you said you’re still young and life is too short. I left my ex and it was hard because I was pregnant and had a toddler. But three years later we have become a good co parenting team. And I met the love of my life. And have never been happier.

You can’t change a person.

Leave as fast as you can and don’t look back

Leave. You already know the answer typing this out.

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You deserve better

He needs to move back in with mom so she can finish raising him. 2 toddlers is enough, you don’t need a 3rd!

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Kick him to the curb. Love yourself and your kids and move on. Sending positive vibes.

Idk
will you be? This sounds abusive 
 at least manipulative. Think for yourself babe :heartpulse:

If he keeps showing you the door, show him the window and throw him out of it :champagne::clinking_glasses:

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Get out of this relationship soon!!

Instead of listening and proving he can be and do better or at least hears you and cares, he’s showing that he doesn’t care and threatening you that you can’t do better or be happy.
He’s trying to manipulate your possible happy future without having to do a damn thing to change. Listen to him when he says he doesn’t care and would so easily show you the door.
If there ever came a time my husband and I didn’t stay together, regardless of the reason, he loves me and would never even entertain the idea of me or my kids leaving our home. He would leave and still make sure we are taken care of and I am okay, so I can’t continue to be a great mom for our kids.
He’s immature and selfish.
Stop trying to get him to change and work on doing what you need to do to be happy and healthy and to continue being the mom you need to be. I’ve seen this many times and it’s funny how they change their tune when you can and do start doing better without them. He thinks he has the upper hand for whatever reason and I promise you can do better and will, if you choose to!
Maybe he needs an eye opener, maybe he’ll always be this way but, stop trying to change someone who only cares about themselves. Do what you want and do what you need, regardless of how he acts or does/doesn’t do and things will get better with or without him! :heart:

Pray, Focus on self-love and your kids,

Why are you still with him??

Leave he sounda awful
U doing it byself at this point anyways

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Manipulation
maybe he’s a narcissist but leave.

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Leave and be happy with your kids run run never look back

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6 years??? That’s way too long to have tolerated that bs. I know it’s easier said than done but you need to move on and make room for the good to come into your life. You definitely deserve someone way more appreciative of you and trust me, there are plenty of men out there to choose from. Stop wasting your time on someone who doesn’t see your value.

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I would leave if I was you. If you’re so unhappy then why not leave? I wouldn’t be with some one like that. You’ll be much happier when you’re not with him

Leave and never go back to him. Even when he come begging and pretend to change for a few months. That boy ain’t changed. Once he got you under his fingers, he’ll be the same again.
Be with someone who empowers you, encourage you, supports you, loves you, and respects you.

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You’ve stayed (4 years) too long in a relationship that’s not working with a person who isn’t interested in improving. If it don’t fit don’t force it. You and the toddlers deserve BETTER. Good luck :four_leaf_clover:

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change the locks asap!

Take your kids and leave. Finish school and live your life. He says what he says because he knows you can be happy without him. You have to know your self worth. Don’t let your kids see their dad disrespect their mother. Love yourself and your kids enough to know that you are worth so much more. Only we can make ourselves happy. Good luck

Do you believe you’ll be? That’s the real question. If you believe what he says then yes it’s true. If you believe you’re that BAMF you are and you could make it in a shoe box with a plastic straw well then you will!!! Don’t let anyone tell you what you’re worth ever!!! They don’t your strength


Promise you you’ll be far happier on your own. Won’t feel it at first but you’ll look back in a few months and think omg why didn’t I leave him sooner. Boy bye x

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Bebegirl bye!

  • there’s others things that could be said. But mama, you are worth so much fuqing more than that
 you know that. You know this. This is abuse and he is only trying to keep you there. I wouldn’t normally advice leaving
 but I believe you’d truly be off happier on your own. Is it lonely? Well yeah! Does it suck? Ohhhhh yeah? Will it hurt? Bet your ass it will! But the strength that will come from this will pour over you and your children. You will be a fierce force to be reckoned with. Fight for you and your children
 and a man worthy of you and who YOU deserve will care for you and them.

Leave and take your kids. What are you waiting for?

Marrying this guy will lead to premature aging and stress. He wants you there so he doesn’t have to try to find someone else. You’re a person who has it together and he’s in it for the ride. Imagine the audacity of telling you that you won’t be happy if you leave. Statistically, men are happy in marriage and women are miserable. No one should make the mistake of marrying anyone who doesn’t treat them like gold. Marriage only makes men lazier and worse so if they are already starting at the bottom, it’s only gonna get worse from there. Don’t marry this guy. Run run run.

Why would you consider staying with him, he’s using you. Walk away!

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Run and don’t look back💕

Just maybe you were both young when you got married had two children now novelty has worn off after 6 yrs .either you sit down talk or go your seperate ways .but do not use children as weapons you need to be able to parent the children both of you .you both need to grow up .he needs to show you he does love you not disrespect you or you him .what ever you do choose wisely and good luck to both of you and your children .hope you manage to sought yourselves out x

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Why would you stay an option to someone who completely disrespects you? Muchless have children with him? What could possibly go wrong? Him walking out should’ve been your first clue. He doesn’t respect you or appreciate you because he’s too busy taking advantage of you. The only reason he is back is because no one else is dumb enough to put up with his bullshit and take care of everything for him like you do. If you’re going to do everything yourself, what’s the point in having him around? Kick him to the curb and quit being his doormat. You decide what you will and won’t allow. Don’t settle. You deserve better. You deserve a partner and friend who will work side by side with you. Not one who thinks you exist for his every whim. That’s no way to live. And it’s sure as hell not the example you want your children to emulate. Demand more. For yourself, and your children. If he doesn’t meet your standards, he can GTFO.

Get out before you make it lega and then it will cost you a fortune for lawyers

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Leave, I’ve been there
 And trust me it’s the kids that always suffer more, they see and hear everything
 So do it for your kids more than anything! In time you’ll meet someone who appreciates you and knows your worth x

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Your doing everything now by yourself. You will be much happier not having to worry that he is around. Trust your gut you know what you need to do

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You already know what to do. You don’t need us to tell you.

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Change the locks n get rid x

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Yes, leave! If someone acts like they don’t care about you, believe them! I don’t see that you have anything at all to lose.

He is only telling you that you will be unhappy to scare you into staying.

I think you already know the answer

Two happy homes are better than one miserable one.

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Leave leave leave!!! My ex was same, like down to the threats, then he threatened to walk out and I held a door for him, he did try to return but he was locked out. Best decision ever.

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It sounds like you already answered your own question, and you sound like you know what you shluld do. Call off the engagement your clearly not happy. Easier to do it now rather then when ur married. Don’t try and stick around for the kids. The kids end up seeing your relationship like that they might end up that same way because they might think this is normal and its not. They should see you be single and happy, rather then being in a relationship that’s draining and miserable.

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Take your kids and leave 
sometimes it’s just not worth it and your kids are probably as miserable as you are


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You will feel alive again if you leave!!!

If you are still a fiancĂ© after 6 years I’d change locks and move on. Get support and a new life

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Girl. Your situation sounds almost identical to mine. I stayed for way too long “for the kids”. I finally left and I am loving life again. And mine and the babies’ mental health are soooo much better now as well. If you’re feeling unloved, unwanted, and unappreciated, then leave. You’ll be thankful.

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Sounds like my ex fiancé. I kicked him out in March and have never been happier

You already know what you want to do. I don’t know why you’re looking for approval from strangers to do it.

I be gone sounds like you take care of everything but the financial as is they offer help with thay

Giiiiirl, in seriously crying right now. You totally described my relationship. :sob: im trying to get myself to get away. Technically hes in my apt
 But he wont just pack and go. Id have to have him evicted
 (We cant do that till atleast January due to covid :roll_eyes:) so i need to get brave enough to move outta MY house. Most likeky into a different town and school district
 Which makes me feel like a total failure as a mom. But is totally not healthy for me or my 12 year old son, who listens to him be so nasty towards me. I just try to sit there and take it. You need to leave him and take care of yourself. The mental and emotional abuse is not anyway to live. Please, get away from him. My heart breaks for you. But remember, you are NOT alone. Stay strong, be brave, and get away. Youll be happy you did. :broken_heart:

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I’m not even reading the whole thing. Girl. Run like hell. You may STRUGGLE but that doesn’t mean you won’t be HAPPY.

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Leave while you’re still young. He’s an emotional abuser. It WILL turn into all other types of abuse, (he will never see it as abuse and will even try to make you believe it wasn’t/isn’t). Know better. This life gets shorter everytime we turn on the news and there’s enough mind fucking that goes on outsides our homes that we don’t need that crap in our peaceful space. Go find your happy place, Mama. :heart:

Don’t be afraid to leave. You practically already a single mom raising three kids (him included). So do yourself a favor and lose him and raise your babies to be better people. He sounds like an child that never grew up. I know you love him, but he does appreciate you and that hurts the most. Yes, it’ll hurt to leave and actually be a single mom two two kids, but you are strong for putting up with his disrespectfulness. Once you leave, it’s a weight off of your shoulders. Your babies need a happy mom, and you deserve better then that guy.

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Leave. You’re not a tree, you can move. Just leave. Seems pointless to stay.

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He’s a narcissist— dump him

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Contact a lawyer 
 Know what you’re entitled to 
 Then tell him to leave 
 You have the children and their lives should not be disrupted 
 This pattern is going to continue 
 He will continue to make you feel like you’re nothing 
 What he did infront of your toddler is only the beginning
 The kids are seeing this and as they get older they will also have no respect for you 
 You are young now 
 You will be so much happier without him 
 You will be able to concentrate on you and your kids and good things will come to you 
 Don’t waste your life 
 Hugs :heart:

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Cut your losses and move on. Do NOT marry this turd.

Doesn’t sound like he loves you. Why would he leave if you do everything for him including praising his ego? It’s time to treat him the way he treats you. I’d pack his bags and tell him to get out.

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Absolutely no way you won’t be !!!
Best thing I did same as you ! You couldn’t do any more ! Not 9 year on best thing ever ! I have a beautiful hubby that’s been made just for me ! Found on the dating Webb ! You’ll never look back promise!! I can say with my two daughters were 8,10 was super hard work but big girl pants on and bright lippy you will do it chick !

You should leave girl, its not worth being miserable n he obviously don’t give af, If he shows you the door. Take his acts as exactly what they are and run
so sorry your going through this. .I know it sucks


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Drop the dead weight. Too many red flags :triangular_flag_on_post: in this relationship. Do the inner work so you don’t choose a different male character after you end it with this one that then turns out to be the same. If you don’t work on breaking patterns, you will choose same type of partner again. Making an exit plan is imperative. Don’t tell him what moves you’re making, do it all in stealth mode, go about your business quietly. Don’t give him a heads up, don’t threaten, none of that nonsense. Look up exit plans on Tina Swithin Facebook page One Mom’s Battle and you will get lots of info from others who’ve been there, done that. Be strategic and put yourself in a good position to lead your single mom life as best as you can. It really does take a village so build a village around yourself to get the support you will need in years to come in raising up your children. This dude is a man-child, never gonna change and his behaviors scream emotionally immature and narcissistic tendencies so he’s no good for you.

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It would hurt a lot less and you would be a lot happier if you left him. He is no good for you or those kids.

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Hook up with me and let a real man get some of that pussy than you will leave his ass

Yeah don’t be surprised if he’s already cheating on you 
my ex husband in my first marriage did while I was alone raising our four sons 
best wishes

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Resentment doesn’t get better its over. I was married for 12 years the Resentment started 4-5 years in
 I was set to leave and I got pg :woman_facepalming:t3: I thought it was a sign not to leave
 after the baby came the Resentment grew stronger
 it was enough when she was 3 I was done. Leave I’m telling you, showing your kids what happiness can be and what it is
 is so much more important than keeping the family together. Don’t plant seeds in their heads to settle just because
 show them what life is by being ALIVE

He’s too much a coward to break it off, but it really sounds like that’s what he wants. He wants you to leave? Go.

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Sounds like you got yourself a Momma’s boy. Start looking for a manly man. :thinking:

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Run take the kids and dont go back

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Quit asking for help. Tell him he needs to help. Leave if he won’t help. If you’re going to do it alone do it alone. You don’t need the added weight to your life

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Kick him out
 if the house is in joint names, you have as much right to show him the door as you.
It sounds like he could be cheating
 call his bluff!!
But before you do
 prepare yourself financially, mentally and physically!

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LEAVE, like yesterday js

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Let him have a relationship with his children, but get out of this situation ASAP! It won’t get better as much as you wish it would. Maybe once you leave, he’ll see what a good thing he had and appreciate you more. He sounds like an extremely self absorbed person that has not one thought for you!!

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I’d leave! :woman_shrugging:t2: it would hurt at first but eventually you’ll move forward and find peace! Because that’s not a good relationship it’s toxic and it’s not healthy!!

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you’re showing your kids that being in a toxic relationship is okay. you need to leave and leave now. don’t put up with that BOY. he seems like a pos fiancĂ©e and father. You already resent him. that’s not going to change. In 6 years
SIX YEARS he couldn’t help around or be a parent or accept any type of chance. Nah. He’s probably been cheating on you snd that’s why he acts like this.

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I’ve been through this same exact thing and when I did leave I only wished I had left earlier. I wasted so much time and nothing ever changed it only got worse.

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Leave, you arent really being appreciated or respected where you are at. Just remember when it comes to time, you dont get a refund on a bad relationship.

I would leave and yes you will be hapoier

Leave! I promise you will be happier

Anyone that claims you can’t be happy without them doesn’t deserve you. Especially if he’s already walked out on you.

Pffft
no, hes just trying to control you. Be smart thing about what you really want before you actually marry. Divorce is no picnic
just as well to prevent if possible. I sure has hell didnt follow my very visible warning signs.

It doesn’t change with marriage. Leave now. Single momming ain’t easy but it’s so much better than being constantly criticize and ignored and your toddlers pick up on things way faster than you realize.

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There are men out there who know how to build up their women and treat them like queens.
Don’t settle. You can walk away and it sounds like you are a very strong woman. You’ve got the strength to survive.
I was a single mom for a few years after my divorce. I didn’t think I had the strength but I did. Then I found an amazing man who builds me up, loves my kids, is my partner in all things in life and gives me butterflies!
There are real men out there. Don’t settle for less

Sounds like you need to leave.

I’m a firm believer in trying everything to work it out because the children are who suffer when there is a divorce. Seek therapy from a pastor or therapist. You have two toddlers and three children ( one being an adult). You’re tired and overwhelmed. He may be overwhelmed and feeling helpless. Try everything. It isn’t easy being alone and raising children by yourself and the grass isn’t always greener.

Yes pack up and leave
 never look back and if any doubts creep into your mind just look back at this post and remember how awful it made you feel writing it because of the treatment you’ve received. There is absolutely no way in hell anyone would over step my parenting. Not even the father!

You definitely answered your own question. Leave before the marriage even happens

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What everyone said above

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Run away now! You deserve what you are asking for! don’t look back!

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Leave. When they say stuff like that, it’s sheer manipulation and emotional abuse. You will be better off on your own, and chances are, you will find someone who does all the things he refuses to do.

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Cassie spent 10 YEARS with Diddy and they broke up with nothing but memories to show for a DECADE together. Then she met someone else and got engaged AND pregnant in LESS than 1 year​:revolving_hearts: I been saying it for YEARS. These men know WHAT they want and WHO they want it from. Don’t let your boyfriend keep you from your HUSBAND, sis. Life is too short​:woman_shrugging: You could meet someone TODAY who has better intentions for you than a man you’ve known for 10 years.:100::heart:

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I seen this and had to share with you

Sounds like you’re already unhappy

Girl, it’s time to go!! He isn’t worth it!

Do you want to teach your little ones that this is the kind of treatment that men/women deserve from the ones that supposedly love them? Sounds like he’s trying to break your spirit into submission that you can’t live without him regardless of how he treats you and thus far you are letting him win with his thoughts - if you and your children deserve better, want better then go and get better bc sweetie it ain’t going to get any better where you are right now that’s for sure. Good luck in whatever road you choose to travel.

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Jus go. You say you got it all alone now. Leaving will be good for you.

6 years to long. Time to leave sweetie. If a man treats you less than a queen then he doesn’t deserve you. Time to start a new chapter with your children and be happy. Your children deserve to see their mama happy.

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