My fiance is still friends with his ex on social media…every time he makes a post about ANYTHING she is constantly commenting on it in seconds and it makes me feel some type of way…she is also constantly tagging him in memes ( the last meme was something about him being her first love) and i feel like she is doing it to get under ym skin…i want them to be friends for their kids sake but at the same time i feel like she is trying to be some type of way with me and i cannot shake the feeling? what should i do? just drop it?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My fiances ex tags him in everything on social media: Advice?
They have children together? You should be glad they co-parent well. Stop looking for drama.
People give social media waaaay to much power. It’s not real life. And the way Facebook works, you get a notification the moment someone you interact with on a regular basis posts something. That’s probably why she comments so quick.
If it’s bothering you that much, mention it to fiancé but I don’t really see it being a big deal.
To me, if it was all stuff to do with kids, good. But anything else is unnecessary
I think you should figure out first what “some type of way” means and then decide from there how to proceed.
If she’s doing that your man is making her feel comfortable to do that
Tell him to respect your boundaries. There’s a difference between co-parenting and being inappropriate. I co-parent and I don’t even have him on my Facebook.
Probably doing it on purpose.
Don’t let her see that it affects you in a bad way and if you say something we’ll she gets what she wants. Phat drama. Fuck the slut, he’s with you.
“Be friends”……no, not like that. girl please…
Co parenting is the best and everyone should do it well! But it’s absolutely not ok for her to take him in stuff about first loves and stuff like that… there’s no need for them to tag each other in memes or anything relating to their past relationship…
if you feel uncomfortable, talk to your partner and express how you feel… if he doesn’t respect you and try to come to some mutual ground then run girl
I think you should tell him how you feel. They should limit things because they are no longer together and he has someone. You definitely have the right to feel like you do I mean they have a past and apparently first love.
Like why tag someone you know has someone about being first love? It’s not right.
Don’t let her get under your skin…
Me and my ex are still best friends, tag each other talk daily etc it doesn’t mean anything we didn’t work out romantically but we have always been amazing friends, our child’s happiness is our priority and seeing us get along is a part of that and honestly if someone feels insecure about that then maybe having a relationship with a single parent isn’t for them
Grow up because he is with you and stop letting her get under your skin
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I don’t see anything wrong except that she’s tagging him in “first love” memes. If she feels comfortable enough to do that, he’s made her that comfortable.
They have children together. They will be connected for the rest of their lives. What does your dude say? If it bothers you and he wanted too. He could CURB that behavior…
Are you ready to leave/ breakup with him over FB posts?
Does he treat you well otherwise?
You can’t make baby momma do anything… so live with it or …
Well obviously she is getting her way because she has your riled up. I would really ignore it. You are with Him, not her, so you have already won. Let her look pathetic and clingy. While you maintain your composure.
Sounds like she’s intentionally doing that to me, especially if it’s not kid related. In my opinion, it should be YOU tagging him and commenting on things.
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Your fiancé needs to have more respect for you and set boundaries.
Capitalize your I’s. Ex’s can be friends and should be when kids are involved. Try to understand.
I have kids from other people that and so does my husband. We’ve struggled with a similar situation. The reality is, neither of you can control what she does. You are only in control of yourselves. You have to say something, if it bothers you, you have to say something. What he does is up to him, but it also shows how much he respects you. If he is responding to everything she comments or posts and isn’t going to stop it’s probably time to consider leaving.
Yes it’s just social media, but if he’s entertaining it that shows that there is still something there. Being friendly because of your children is appropriate, talking all the time like you’re still close is not.
Talk to him about how it’s making you feel. If he respects you he will put a stop to it. Regardless if they are on good terms and coparenting really good THERE HAS TO BE BOUNDARIES!!!
The fact they get on well when there’s kids involved is great. But it does mean you’re going to need to feel secure in your relationship, dont allow her to take that from you. Just tell him to dial it down because it’s crossing boundaries and move on, see what happens. If he keeps engaging at her level of needing attention, then tell him straight you’ve had enough of it and it’s disrespectful. Because of circumstances you do need to be the more put together one because he has ties to her that he won’t want to upset because of the kids, but if you talk to him rather than have a go, and he’s a good man, he’ll understand that it’s too much and it’s hurtful.
Oh she is honey, don’t think she’s not. I personally wouldn’t allow it
I would t like it can you block her then you wouldn’t see what see posts
It’s social media garbage and how does he respond? Does he encourage the behavior? Is he tagging and stuff on her page? You can’t control other people. If he still has feelings for her is what I’d be looking for. That’s the only thing that matters. You let it get to you too much and it might cause you and him (not her) to have fights. In in real life how does he act around her? Look into his body clues to see if he’s still interested. If nothing is there everything is good and the 2 of you enjoy your relationship with bonus children.
I feel as if it’s a topic he needs to address, the “first love” memes are wrong and yes, she is most definitely trying to work your nerve but I would highly recommend discussing with him it’s possible he doesn’t pay it no mind (men are that way) but should address her and set boundaries out of respect for you
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What a horrible bitch, yeh they have kids together but commenting on every post of your boyfriend and tagging him is just weird. Why do they need to even be friends on Facebook? There is other ways of communication like a phone call or text message
I tag my ex in memes all the time.
Me and my ex talk every single day all day.
My ex is on his way to spent the weekend with us.
they share a child. Only memes you can get upset over is any romantic ones. And simply ask him to remove his tag. And move on
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Many ppl on here saying grow up,dont be insecure, thats co parenting, No thats not coparenting ,being respectful of the others relationship, focusing and being civil for the sake of the children, bs first love memes is a petty dig…exs can be friendly but there are certainly boundaries with or without children involved ,you are not wrong to feel hurt,best suggestion is to speak to your bf on how you feel,give him an opportunity to address it,if he chooses not to you have to choose what you are willing to live with to make a decision in you’re best interest
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Have you spoken with your fiancé about it? If you know it’s trying to get under your skin then you need to talk to him about it.
Comment This the first love is often like the first pancake. You toss it into the trash. But that second pancake is a keeper.
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Shame on him for not nipping that right in the bud after the first time!! That’s bull crap!! He should know better!! Very inconsiderate!!
She’s doing it to piss you off. Don’t let it. The more it bugs you the more she’s going to do. They have kids so she’s not going anywhere.
Talk to him about it. Ask him to block her from tagging him & restrict her from seeing posts unless tagged. That will help some.
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Some “women” don’t have class, respect, and boundaries for a relationship so don’t be quiet about it. Speak up! His actions will let you know what you need to do.
If they didn’t have kids together it would be different. Feel like you either need to accept it or block her yourself so you aren’t seeing what she does because it’s your man’s mother to his kids
I think you need to address it with your significant other. If he was her first love then fine whatever but more often than not she probably has already told him as much when they were together and now that they aren’t there is absolutely no need. Tagging him in funny memes about kids and such is one thing but disrespecting his relationship with you and tagging him in romantic things is off-putting.
My fiancés baby mama would do the same shit over text and my fiancé would just reply “ew.” She was always being inappropriate and saying stuff like “you and her will never have what me and you did” and stuff like that to bug me but HE would handle it like he should. Your man needs to stick up for you an put his foot down. Baby mama or not.
Tell him how you feel if it bothers you. See what he says. They have to stay civil for the kids’ sake. This first love business isn’t necessary.
The fact that he hasn’t put a stop to it, is disheartening. It’s great for him to have a great relationship with her… but their relationship doesn’t need to go much farther than being friends for the kids. Their friendship should never cross the line about their past romance, because you’re in the picture now. You should talk to both of them, especially him and explain how you feel. It’s not fair for you to have to deal with it honestly.
Babes let her keep looking pathetic and looser like… and ask your man to set his profile to private and go to settings and manage who can and can’t tag him. That way when someone tags him he has to approve it
That would not fly with me at all. I know that they need to stay in contact and get along since they have kids together but there’s no reason they need to be friends on social media. Not with her behavior. There needs to be some boundaries.
He should let her know that she’s part of his past now. And if he can’t do that, you know the answer.
They only need to discuss the children that is all
Id already of messaged her and asked what her problem was. Asked her who she thought she was…must still want him
It’s his fault as well as hers. Hers for doing it. His for allowing it.
Find someone that respects you and has boundaries
The fact that they have kids together means she’s going to be in yalls lives forever…but he needs to set the boundaries and tell her they’re no longer together and the post’s are disrespectful especially if it’s about being her first love or whatever. He needs to talk to her and if she doesn’t respect yalls wishes then block her.
I don’t have my ex on my social media and we got 4 kids together. If we need to discuss kids then its done on the phone and you don’t need Facebook for that.
What type of way does it make u feel???
Have you talked to your fiance? Does he care or respect your feelings? That would be my first step is telling him and he should be able to shut it down. If not then I wouldn’t move forward cuz the rest of your time together she will overstep and he won’t stop it.
They definitely do not need to be Facebook friends to coparent and get along for their kids!!
I comment on my ex husbands things. But I comment on his wife’s things more. If she isn’t being friends with both of y’all and posting about him being her first love, that’s definitely crossing a line.
Nah this is not the least bit appropriate. It’s one thing to stay cordial it’s another to allow her to tag him in memes about first love. I’d message her and tell her shes being inappropriate and ask how shed feel in your case.
It’s a difficult one is this as it’s better for the children for both parents to be getting along but in saying that she should not be tagging him in anything like that and have abit of respect for your relationship and he needs to put boundaries in place regarding this. If she doesn’t if I was him I’d be removing her and if I was you I’d be having words as there’s nothing worse then letting your emotions build as it may come out in anger and at the wrong person.
Ignore her that will drive her crazy
He needs to step up and tell her he’s moved on and that they can get along for the kids and that’s all.
They can still communicate on Messenger and not be friends on Facebook.
Tag her in memes relating to her being annoying, or dating her ex… if you wanna be petty. Or simply tell her how you feel about it and ask her to stop. She shouldn’t care enough to make a big deal out of it, and if she does then you know her intentions are malicious.
Can’t choose who he’s friends with. Don’t like it then block her and problem is solved.
Talk to your fiancé about it.
Sounds like she could be doing it to get under your skin and it if that’s the case, it IS working. She could be sharing because that’s how she feels about him. You can’t deny the man had a past. Either you are secure in your relationship or you are not. Decide which one. The only thing you can control is how you react to things.
I would not have that. It’s ok for them to be friends on social media but the tags would have to stop. If he truly loved you he wouldn’t allow her to post those things.
For this reason I am not friends with my man social media his ex would do this and I was like I’m not going to go through his fb and get jealous so I have him in real life she can keep liking his pics as long as he’s paying the rent and fathering out son I’m good
Have you spoken to him about it? He can restrict her at the very least and make it to where she can only see his public posts. He can also make it to where he has to approve what he’s tagged in.
Just gotta be the bigger person and let it go. It’s hard yes but she’s doing it to try and get a reaction out of you.
Set some healthy boundaries. Talk to them both about this and how it makes you feel.
Please dont search out stalker or pathetic ex memes to tag him in, that would be her taking you down the low road, you proudly take the high road and let her try to piss around the fenceline to mark territory
They don’t have to be friends on social media just because they have children together!
You cant let others control you and your feelings
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I’d comment on every tag. I’m so glad y’all have a healthy co parenting relationship… thankful for pasts so we all have bright futures… something supportive but acknowledging the elephant in the room
I’d be having a word to my partner about it its great the fact they can get on for the kids sake though nothing worse than bitter exes trust me. If you feel really uncomfortable about it then he should be doing or saying something x
Get used to it if they are still close …especially when this has taken place before u came into the picture…and especially if there’s kids involved…do I think it’s weird…yes …I have four kids with my ex n that doesn’t happen…I get along with his current wife more than I do him …talk to ur fiancé about it cuz more than likely she will tell u to eff off n she will continue this if she knows it bothers u …this is his issue he’s enabling it or perhaps doesn’t even care how u feel …if u don’t like this whole vibe …nobody is making u stay …truthfully sounds to me like drama …
Just take his phone and block her. It’s 2022 and we’re toxic:sparkles:
Talk to ur man about it.
There is a reason she’s an ex - if you can’t get over the insecurities, save yourself the unneeded stress and move on
Have a conversation with him. Let him know how you feel. My daughters dad and I were able to be friends long before our current spouses came along. We are all friends and he and I are friends on social media. We tag stuff about our kid or whatever. Mature, grown people can do this. Get to know her. Don’t let yourself feel like the odd one out. In a world of toxic examples of relationships, give yourself permission to have a healthy conversation and break that cycle.
Insecure much !!!
They are ex for a reason, getting upset / annoying about social media content is childish.
If you want to play her game and drag yourself to her level, just respond something back at her
Time to tell her to back off, their relationship is about the kids only she needs to stop and respect your relationship
You need to talk to your fiancé about it. He should ignore inappropriate things she tags him in. (Anything having to do with love etc)
See I feel like she’s doing it to be disrespectful to you and that’s where the problem lies. I’d be talking to my partner about it and expressing my discomfort, maybe put the bug in his ear that you feel the way you frel
She’s just trying to get to you. He is trying to keep peace I think for the kids sake. Love all her comments. Kill her with kindness. Say I ca totally understand why he was your first love he is amazing. It’s that easy
I wouldn’t tolerate it
Honey it would piss me off too !! She’s just doing it to bother u try and not let it get to u . I know it will be hard but it sounds like she’s trying to start something. Don’t give her the satisfaction
“She’s an ex for a reason, stop being insecure”
She may be insecure (and I don’t blame her, we ALL have insecurities about SOMETHING, it may not be in our relationship but anyone who says otherwise is a liar) anyway, the ex is being disrespectful, that first love meme was unnecessary.
Regardless of her being an ex, exes don’t act like that if they’re not trying to get under someone’s skin or haven’t moved on.
They don’t necessarily need to be friends on social media to co-parent affectively and peacefully
If you trust your fiance then don’t worry about her intentions. Let her act or think however she wants, if you guys are happy and secure in your relationship you’ve already won. Have you spoken to your fiance about it? His reaction/thoughts on it will probably reveal if there is anything to actually be concerned about. Good luck.
Your feelings are valid but you can’t change what she does, you can have a conversation with your boyfriend about your insecurities and what your expectations And boundaries about how he reciprocates the attention
They can be friends for the kid and not be in social media together.
Your fiancé isn’t telling her to knock it off? Tbh, they can still have one another’s numbers if they need to communicate over their children, if she is tagging and commenting in the ways you’re saying then I don’t think he should have her as a friend on any socials at all - just have her number again to communicate over the kids
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You can not stop her. She’s fishing for a response and if she doesn’t get that response she is looking to cause a rift in your marriage. That’s the only purpose behind that. If you want to spend time trying to correct her you can but it won’t cause her to stop.