I need advice. I proposed to my boyfriend over the weekend and posted a photo about it on Facebook. I had a huge sign in the photo, along with my future husband and my son. He said YES! After I posted the photo, his ex-baby mama texted him and said she was mad that I did not include their child in the proposal or the picture that I posted to Facebook, and she asked that we call it off or she will withhold visitation from him! I did not intentionally exclude their child; I love him as my own, but it was not our weekend with him, so he was not there, and I didn’t think about it like that. I was just excited to propose!!! Was I in the wrong for not thinking about my bonus child, or is the baby mama just being bitter?
You took the time to plan the proposal and include your child, you should have planned for the bonus son to be included too. That being said baby momma has no right to withhold visitation with his father, period. So. Plan a sweet proposal to your future son!
Baby momma is just being a cunt- she cannot deny visitation just because he was not included in a personal matter. You could take her to court for contempt if she did for violating the parenting plan
I don’t think there was any ill intent on your behalf. That being said, yeah…you probably should have had both children present. That does not however give ex baby mama the right to withhold visitation. Just redo the pics and make sure you ask bonus child for their permission to be their bonus Mom just to make them feel special. Just a suggestion.
It was wrong of you in some instances. You took time to think about the proposal which congratulations by the way and you planned everything out. The only thing I would think about is posting the photo when everyone’s there.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My fiances ex wants us to call off our engagement because their son was not included: Help!
Baby momma is bitter. She also can not legally withhold visitations because of the proposal.
She needs to get over herself. It’s not about her!
There’s a free photo shop edit group you can post the photo and a photo of his son with his permission. They can edit him into it! Best wishes!
Unless your partner has a problem I wouldn’t give into her.
She can’t withhold visitation if there is a court order.
She sounds bitter… and immature
People will always have something to say, do what you like it’s your wedding
Your relationship is between you & your fiancé.
Ignore her. Don’t start letting her control your guys’ life it’ll only get worse.
of course its her being bitter… although u could have also “proposed” when you did have his child because u marry him you’re marrying everything that comes along with him.
And yeah she’s just being bitter. She probably complains about a lot of things you do I’m betting
She can’t with hold visitation
She’s just being bitter. Take note of her threats to stop visitation and talk to your bonus kid so he knows it wasn’t your intention and maybe (if you want) include him in the wedding.
lol yeah she cannot withheld visitation like that… I’d just laugh at her.
1st of all why did u propose and not him? 2nd do u want to marry someone who’s ex has that much say so over yalls life? This sounds like in time this will turn into something you’ll eventually be dying to get out of
If she withholds visitation and its court ordered shell be held in contempt of court
Girl… f*k her and if your man doesn’t have an issue there shouldn’t be one. How is she regulating your relationship… negative! Next!
Honestly in my opinion I would want both children included I would be hurt being left out of something so special
First of all congratulations!! I would ask her if you can make another photo with her child in see how she responds to that be civil but in my opinion it was your proposal and your choice of who would be involved
She can’t do that. But I would save those message from her if she does
Yes you were wrong. If you couldn’t wait, you should have left your son out and made just about the two of you. She can’t withhold visitation and you shouldn’t call it off but it was wrong to include your son and not his. Really only matters if it bothered the child.
She’s just controlling. She has to make this about her somehow. She can get the over it. And withholding children can get her taken to court so that would be dumb on her part.
Yes baby mama is bitter but why didn’t you include his son???
She just sounds bitter an very immature. an she cannot take his visitation away for that reason either so don’t worry!
She’s just bitter. Make sure to save the message incase you need it in court. Congratulations!!
You lost me at : “I proposed to my bf”
Buuutt. She’s bitter af
She being bitter asf. And I’m sure the dumbass put that in black and white too. Save it, sounds like you’re gonna need it.
She can’t withhold visitation for that reason. Baby mama is bitter!
She’s just being bitter. Don’t call off anything. If you two are happy that’s all that matters and if she has an issue and it’s not been taken to court yet then take it to court so you can get ahead of her. If a court is already involved then she can’t legally do that. She’s just jealous and bitter. It’s a shame people act like that. Just because the relationship didn’t work doesn’t mean you punish the kids. People need to grow up.
First of y’all, that’s YALLS proposal. I love my kids, I spend everyday all day with them, they are included in pretty much everything I do, but we need things for ourselves too. She’s butthurt, but honestly this isn’t even about the kids, it’s about y’all.
Is this a court order for visitation? If not - get one. And then tell her to go get bent.
Her child isn’t marrying you, maybe she still has feelings for her ex, you have done NOTHING wrong so don’t feel bad, tell her it’s happened, your not undoing it, case closed, I’d get it if the child wasn’t included in the wedding but the engagement? His ex needs to grow up x
Even with that threat apply to family courts and book the wedding for a few years time.
My partners boyd can’t come to our wedding because his ex wife is as sour as a lemon
That’s the very moment when I would delete and block that bitter old hag off any social media platform
I’d be telling her what a child she is, and also to piss off
She can’t with hold visitation especially if there’s a court order. If she said it in text keep it for documentation bc it’s not a valid reason and judges don’t like parents that use the child.
My question is why wouldn’t you do it so his child was included? BUT this woman is nuts & I would document all messages from her. That’s a form of abuse & she can’t keep her child away from their father for something like this. Have your ducks in a row in case she tries to.
Bitter baby momma. If it’s court ordered for visits she will be in violation. If not court ordered I’d go to the court and get a parenting plan just so she can’t say shit
Just photo shop him into the pic!
She’s just a bitter baby mama
I mean if he wasn’t there he wasn’t there it’s not like you’re not having him at the wedding
Sounds like a bitter phyco! Wait till she demands an invitation like my husbands ex did.
Yes she’s mean and selfish
she cant hold visitation legally unless she has full custody.
I say block her.
Possibly ask him to be your step son? Involve his son some how? But definitely ask dad if he ok with it.
Baby mama is absolutely bitter! It probably would’ve been special to include your bonus baby, but you can’t plan every single thing by them when you don’t have them constantly. She probably would’ve been mad if you did include him, because she didn’t give her permission. But let this be a warning that for future reference, you’re going to have to walk on eggshells with her. Love your partner, be happy, plan your wedding and if she’s seriously going to withhold visitation over something so petty, then that’s probably something a quick visit to court can fix.
She’s acting over the top… but I would also be upset. I get that you were excited but should have planned better… inwouldnt cancel it now but moving forward make sure to include him
She is just bitter. If he had been included she would have had something to say about that as well. If there is am order in place she can’t withhold his visitation. Is the child upset about it or just the bm? If the child is hurt maybe have an engagement celebration with him, make signs, take pics, etc.
Pardon my French but she needs to fuck off. She can not legally withhold your fiance in seeing his child. She needs to get over herself.
She’s being bitter AF, she also can not withhold court ordered visitation because she’s jealous.
This is just the staring with her if you don’t stop it now.
My advice. Run. It isn’t worth the drama you’ll deal with the rest of your life when there is a crazy baby mama involved. Talking from past experience here.
There’s really no right or wrong here…
it’s a matter of how you want your new family dynamic to be…
I would have most certainly included both of our children. However-it’s not the exes business and even asking y’all to put it off AND she can not legally withhold his visitation time with his child.
She literally can’t prevent him from seeing his child. She’s a control freak, she’s jealous, and bitter. Congratulations btw. I’m truly happy for you
I do think their son should have been included, but she also sounds bitter about it. She cannot legally withhold visitation for something this petty. Save the texts and threats, file a civil transaction report for each time visits are withheld, file a motion for contempt and let the courts handle it.
Tell me youre not over your baby daddy without telling me youre not over your baby daddy…
Don’t even think about it, what does the proposal being called off have to do with anything. Yes the child could have but it you and your son that’s coming in the man’s life, her son is already his.
She jealous btw
yes she’s BITTER.
however, I could NEVER imagine not including my bonus son in something like this!
Shes very selfish and bitter. You were not in the wrong!!
Save those messages. Then when his kid is there take some new pics that include him… Brag about what a wonderful extended family you will have.
I do think that you should have included both children but I definitely wouldn’t make a huge deal out of it… I might have brought it to your attention nicely so that you could see it from my perspective but that’s about it lol she sounds crazy!
If you’re even slightly considering her demands now, get ready to appease her until your step child is 18. Fuck that.
She’s being bitter af
I think that she is having an emotional reaction saying she’s going to withhold visitation. With that being said, I do think it was gone about in the wrong way. You want to start a new life but not include your bonus child. That kids mom’s reaction may not have been the best but her intentions are to care for her child.
First red flag is you proposed
She is bitter n mad. Jelly… As long as he is part of the wedding .
Few things… She can’t withhold visits. You weren’t proposing to the children. It was not the wedding. Also, it is none of her business. Now, you can take family pictures together when y’all get their son, but I’m sure the child didn’t think anything of it until the mother spoke on it.
If it were the wedding my opinion would be different, but this an engagement.
We’ll just let her know he wasn’t there at the time, bitter
Youre in for a ride with that woman… dont let control yall
If he listened to her and abides by her demand then you need to RUN!!!
If you haven’t got court ordered visitation I suggest you get on that ASAP. This won’t be the last time she tries to stop visits because of a her problem otherwise
Maybe just propose to the son the next time you have him lol and post that hahaha petty women I swear
Hopefully they have a court order regarding visitation. If not he needs to get a lawyer and get one ASAP.
I can see why she is upset. Your boyfriend and his kid is a package deal. You probably should have waited till your week. but maybe take the child out as a celebration to your new family and post things saying such. I’m sorry she acted like that to you. She definitely sounds very immature. Unless the child was upset he wasn’t involved. But from experience co-parenting my oldest child. It is best if you try to stay on good terms. Because it’s not about the parents anymore it’s about the child. And he will be hurt if you and his dad and his mom are constantly fighting.
Good friggan luck with that one
I would not call it off, however I do think all children or no children should be involved
You should of included their son. By only having the three of you involved/there, that’s a slap in the face in my opinion. I wouldn’t marry somebody who could have excluded my son so easily because she was excited and didn’t think about him because “it wasn’t our weekend”. She is being bitter but I think both of you are in the wrong Dad should have spoke up and said something. You don’t just include one child, y’all are a family now and the mom is looking at it that her son isn’t being shown that he’s a part of that family.
I do see where she is coming from . Not only are you marrying her ex your also marrying her child . When you marry her ex your also promising to love what ever baggage he comes with . I would be VERY pissed off if someone proposed to me and didn’t include my child .
But the visitation is a bit to far .
Take a picture of it again with bonus son in it the post it for ex
She can’t legally do that, if custody and visitation has been ordered and signed by a judge. So if she does, document it, and then go to your county courthouse and file contempt of court. She can get thrown in jail for violating it, willfully and maliciously.
If its not a court ordered visit, get one, then show the judge how she is trying to control your relationship.
Your first mistake was putting it all on Facebook!
File in court so she can’t do that. Sounds foolish if you ask me.
I smell bitterness with a side of jealousy.
Umm. I was stuck at you proposed… ok. Bye then
Is this for real when did women start asking thier man to get married
Honestly you should have waited and included him… but she can’t keep him from the dad…
I would have been upset to. No child should have been included unless they both are.
So, respectfully I get that you were excited. I just hope if anything, moving forward. Wait for your bonus child to do big stuff. I could see how she perceived that as him being excluded. Which if it were me I think I would be slightly concerned because it does kind of paint the picture that he’s not apart of the family. Which I am sure that was not intentional. Like I said, I know you were excited. But I feel like she’s being unreasonable too because calling off the engagement??? Um no. I would maybe apologize to her and try to express what your intentions were and you see where you had made a mistake and moving forward will be more mindful of waiting for his weekends to do big stuff because he’s apart of the family. But I wouldn’t say to give in to her demand of calling the engagement off and legally I don’t think she can withhold him without something like emergency custody or if the custody paperwork says she can which would be strange but not my business.
Look, as a former stepchild, I don’t think you’re out of line for not including the son in the proposal/engagement. That’s not something a kid should have to be involved in. I was 5 and my dad and his ex-wife had a courthouse wedding, so I wasn’t included. But if possible, include your future stepchild in the wedding or at least the reception/party afterward. Make sure you have conversations with him about what things will be like when you and his dad are married. Make things as inclusive as possible, family wise. I think the mother is going too far.
I think you should have included him and her length of taking tho is over the top…do what makes you happy there will always be someone mad, its how you handle it that matters
If it’s court ordered she can’t withhold visitation. She sounds crazy and like someone else said if he actually listens to her, you’re gonna be in for a bunch of BS.
You could’ve waited til it was your weekend wit him so all could’ve been included however I don’t get why she’s so upset.
I wouldn’t even propose to a man I feel if they truly wanted to get married they’d pop the question so I wouldn’t be in this predicament however if I did propose I’d try to make sure both kids were included as that’s important. Important but again none of her business.
She shouldn’t with hold the child over something so petty though.
I’m laughing because the fact that she wants you to call it off or she will withhold visitation is ridiculous. However I am a mom who personally tries my hardest to include my stepson in everything.
She’d been the same way even if you included the son. “How dare you get engaged to someone who is trying to be the mother of our child! I’m the mother”, then until the child is 18, you will have pure hell dealing with her.