She can’t legally do that. He needs to get a judge involved. Y’all need to tell her to take a flying leap and STFU. Stay strong
I think the chold should be involved in the wedding but the proposal is different. I also agree with everyone if the visits aren’t from the courts get it done. I know from experience!
I mean i would never withhold my child from their father over this but like why wouldnt you think of his child…? I personally wouldnt have had just my child their, i would have WANTED BOTH kids there. But thats my opinion and what i would do… doesnt give the right to withhold visitation
A little bit of both. You’re asking him to marry you, to be the bonus mom of that child, and you didn’t think to include him.
Also, you were so excited that you missed that detail.
Simple next time yall have his son ask him what he thinks about yall getting married if it’s good take a picture of all of with you hold his hand and say he said yes too
She can’t stop visitation because of that. Judge would laugh at that.
Don’t let her control your relationship. If you do what she wants now you will always be doing what she wants. My now ex’s ex did this. Trust me it’s gets worse. Im hoping your bf has legal visitation. If she then he needs to keep track of when she withholds visits, what excuses she gave him, texts & voicemails. Take her to court for parental alienation. Hold of getting married for a few years. See if she gets worse & how he handles it. If he puts her ahead of you then run!
She has no right to withhold visitation or demand that you take back the proposal but i do get why she would be upset for her child. His daddy and new family are celebrating something huge and the poor boy was the only one in the family not included to me thats a bit out of order hes part of your little family a should’ve been there. My partner proposed to me 2 years ago and he made sure it was a day that all my children were with us
Both in the wrong, you should of waited to include him and she wrong for threatening to not let him see his dad, you both need to apologise and grow up
Its not like you guys got married and left him out… I think its pretty petty of her
Maybe look at in her point of view though. How would you feel if the tables were turn?
If your bf won’t put his foot down with her Id get out. Baby mama’s like that with husband’s who won’t push her back make for a miserable existence. I know!!
That baby mama will make your life a living he##.
Retract your proposal
1st off, I would never propose to a man. 2nd, obviously she’s just mad that her ex is taken forever.
I didn’t include my kids in my proposal to my husband… Not many adults do lol. She is bitter.
Well, she can’t withhold visitation from him if they are court ordered. So if she doesn’t want to be hit with a contempt of court charge, she won’t even try it.
Just take her to court to establish visitation so that she can not hold that over your heads. And congratulations
If your bonus child is loved like your own i hate to sound harsh but how do you treatbyour own child…and i mean no disrespect! He should have been included in my opinion ! However she cant with hold him from seeing his father thats just bitterness!
It’s you and your man’s time… As long as he’s included in the marriage and all, I don’t see that as problem.
For me, she’s just bitter and jealous. Of she withholds visitation, then it’s her loss when that kid would grow up hating her for making him suffer for her bitterness
When my husband proposed he didn’t wait to have his son there, but my daughter and our son together were both there!!
She is being bitter no need to accommodate to what she feels is right in your relationship, that is why it is your relationship!! Congratulations
I have a bonus kid and 4 kids of my own with my ex husband
Honestly IMO I wouldn’t be upset if their father didn’t include them in the proposal. I wouldn’t expect a child to be apart of that. It’s always nice to do that but I wouldn’t be bent out of shape like that.
She is way out of line saying to call it off and to withhold visitations. That’s petty. I get we all don’t feel the same about situations like this but you can’t withhold your kid from their other parent for hurt feelings. Especially if it’s not done with malice.
Now the wedding… that’s another story. I would expect my children and bonus child to be apart of the wedding if I had one. Same for my kids and their father.
Okay… you’re both wrong.
Since your child was included, you should have also included his child. I understand how she feels that you didn’t include his kid BUT to say to call it off…. She’s bitter
I can understand why she’d be upset that you didn’t include your bonus son… the child may feel excluded and sad that he wasn’t included in a special family moment. He is part of your family… he is just as important as your son.
Her saying to call it off/withhold visitation is a little extreme but like I said above, she’s probably upset because of the child being excluded.
Ummm tell me why kids should be involved? It is an adult relationship
Take her to court. Its not about you not include the child. Its about her being pissed off that you and her bd are getting married. If she doesnt let him see his son take her bitter ass to court.
Bitter is not the correct word!! Controlling is more to the point!! If you don’t stop it now, it’ll continue and get worse!! Don’t let them push you around!! I’m a fighter and believe in justice!!
She’s bitter, you don’t have to include everyone in your family with your personal. And I’m hoping she sed she was going to keep his kid away in a text so you can show a lawyer.
I’m sure you will include him in the wedding. That is what really matters!
You go girl!! congratulations,she is being vindictive!!got one of those in my life…file for joint custody and visitation…explain to child mother is reason for not seeing child not you guys.
Geez all the people telling you that you should have waited and planned it for a weekend that your step child is there…I cannot imagine hard hard life is for them. I do not think it’s a big deal because obviously the story l step child can be there at the wedding and everything else & you can still have a celebration dinner with the step child there to make the child feel just as excited. What’s done is done you cannot go back in time so she’s got to get over it. There’s plenty that both sides does without the child always there & there’s going to be plenty more times where there’s going to be events that the child will not always be able to attend. It is what it is.
It would have been nice to include your bonus child in the engagement, because y’all are going to be a family, but that doesn’t mean that the bm has a right to do anything about it. I can see if you excluded him from the wedding but, no.
You didn’t get married without their child so no big deal. But if your fiancé can’t stand up to her then you’re gonna have a lot to deal with down the line.
the one thing I never understood why do you want to withhold a child from the other parent to me I think that is cruel I don’t care how much I can’t stand my baby’s daddy from time to time I never stopped him from seeing her and I’m going to tell you this much the courts really need to start looking at these mom that do this because they’re not getting their way she legally has no right to hold that child from the dad and you do not have to cancel your engagement because she’s still in love with her ex she’s just trying to do whatever she can do to keep you from getting married take those texts to court show them to a judge she will back off
You should of included him, shame on you! I hope u never forget that and do better for him from here on out. With that being said, she does not determine how your relationship goes. You could have done better but that does not mean you don’t marry your love. Make sure to give him and equal part in the wedding or else you will put yourself in the evil step mom category.
The engagement is about you two declaring you want a life together. The life you build includes all parties, you, him and the children. Don’t let anyone ruin your choice to merge your lives into one.
She is mad he said yes
Personal opinion- you weren’t thoughtful of the other child’s feelings. If you truly loved him like your own you would never have imagined taking pictures and doing it with out having both of your children there for it or none of them. I would be upset to if I was her because I’m sure her son sees that and feels excluded. I personally would have said (if I was hubby) I would like to marry you but let’s hold off on pictures and announcements until we can have all of our kids for it. Honestly when my hubby and I got serious enough to talk about marriage he and I sat down with my daughter and talked to her about it beforehand and how she would feel about it. I straight up told him before the conversation if she’s not ready for me to marry you we will have to hold off. So I would take the announcement and pictures down and redo it with their son, and you owe the son an apology and I would also apologize to the mother for not including their son (you don’t want bad blood there).
You should have waited until both children were there or neither was there. You can not claim to love him as your own, you would have never imagined of proposing with out your child present. But I doubt that is a valid reason in any court to with hold visitation
First, congratulations! I can see where she may have been upset about it, but personally I think she’s being over dramatic. From a legal standpoint I dont think she can with hold visitation.
Run as fast ads you can. She’s bitter and mad. She will make your marriage a living hell. Don’t do it!
Legally, the bitter and jealous ex has no right to withhold visitation. Your fiance needs to put her in her place.
Keep the messages and get a lawyer and just get full custody. That’s enough to prove she’s using the child! She needs a beat down for real
could do another photo shoot. with both boys
Well. If its court ordered visitation just let the courts know what shes trying to do. Because thats just gross.
Think of it from the bonus child’s point of view!! He should have been included if you truly feel like you love him as your own. I’d look deeper into why you didn’t include him than your feelings towards the ex.
She is being bitter and petty.
Any momma that keeps a child from the father without legitimate reason (drugs, danger, volitile anger, to name a few)
Is not thinking about their child and their needs. Period. Children are just as much the fathers child as they are the mothers.
You could always re take the picture on the weekend you have your kids together. If she withholds visitation over that she will get in trouble. Keep the conversation documented.
Also if you have custody papers she has no legal grounds to keep him from you guys because of this.
She cannot withhold visitation. Take her to court if she tries that crap.
This is a HER problem not a YOU problem. Who says you can’t have an engagement party or some special way of telling the son when it IS his weekend to be there?? I’m glad she can tell the future and I’d definitely throw a party now, when it is his weekend. The kid will see who has the problem and who doesn’t.
Don’t feel bad…my fiances ex said she wants to be invited to the wedding and keeps asking for her invitation even tho we’ve said no.
Its not like you didn’t make him apart of the wedding!! That should be the only part that matters .
My own children weren’t apart of our proposal.
Definitely bitter . Also not a reason to stop visitations smfh
She’s trying to control him through the child. Ignore it.
Can the photo be retaken just for the sake of the child?
She doesn’t have the right to with hold visitation for petty reasons. Though I will say it does kind of seem like of you have both of your children on certain weekends it would have been a nice way to start a family together to have the whole family there when it started.
Wouldn’t say children usually are involved in an engagement…she’s using it as an excuse to control him!! Very toxic get legal advice ASAP
Girl make your profile private so the bitch can stop being nosey. You are not in the wrong
If the visitation is court ordered I’d keep that text message she sent and that’s the only thing you’ll need in court. If it’s NOT court ordered, I’d suggest saving money and prioritizing to go to court and get visitation specified in writing so you don’t have to worry about blackmail like this.
If it were me I wouldn’t want to marry into this bizarre, shit show of a co-parenting relationship. If he does call off the engagement because of this, I would take it as a blessing, and run. Otherwise you’re going to be dealing with shit like this all the way up until the divorce.
Kopa gotswa mo topic
Goraya gore kewena ontshang magadi abo afana ka ur surname?
Goirwa jang fa ele mosadi a propositseng?
I would ask fiancé not to even discuss this petty behavior of the ex’s with the ex. She’s looking for attention. Just ignore her
Simple: make a do over with everyone. Then she can’t complain… holding threats is a way of holding onto your Fiancé
I see both sides…I mean would you have done it without your child being their?
Both. Other kid should have been included if yours was but she way crazy and your proposal doesn’t give her the right to be like that. That being said she probably won’t change so get ready…
Lol she is being very jealous and overreacting. She’s clearly, very bitter and miserable. She can’t withhold visitation based off of that. Children aren’t typically involved in the proposal. Yes, some people do. But don’t feel bad because they weren’t. His ex is just being childish and petty. Don’t let her get to you.
There are many many proposals both recorded online and that have been done throughout the years where people with children their children were not involved because it was usually a romantic date or situation so it’s a little unfair. I’m sure the ex is just worried that once you guys get married something like that will happen and so she’s projecting it through this manner.
He should be taking a stand and saying no. If not then don’t marry the gut. He has to stand up for the new family if not then he isn’t much of nothing. Just went through this just to find out he still had feelings for the ex and that’s why he couldn’t stand against her.
She’s being bitter. Fact is when there’s 2 households involved the child that isn’t a resident isn’t going to always be included. It’s sucks but sometimes you can wait for the next weekend you have the kid. That being said, Mom cannot legally withhold visitation if there is a court order-Even if there’s not a court order it’s not going to look good on her that she’s withholding visitations due to her ex having a life.
it’s not really about the kids so 🤷
She’s still trying to control him!!! So sad. Send her text to his lawyer or child support agency!!!
She doesn’t get to dictate what he does.
You should have included his son however it’s not a reason to with hold visitation. Save the messages and file for contempt or the father can go to her house to retrieve child if she doesn’t show up at the meeting place and he can call the police, show the court order proving the child is supposed to be with him but no one can physically make the child go. Even if the child wants to go, mom doesn’t have to let him which reverts back to filing for contempt but you’ll have a police report to go with it. Get ready for a long wild ride with that girl.
Oh she is bitter and I would take her butt to court.
She just haten ignore her and do u you out thing. Congratulations
This woman is having an issue involving her fiancé’s BM, and some of y’all actually are more worried about and have an issue that she proposed to the person that she loves?
Baby momma is being bitter
I would say ur wrong . Should have waited till it was your weekend
this is posted in 2 different mom groups im a part of. i get needing advice but damn
Why do you guys have her on your social media both you and your fiance? Block her even on your watsapp status updates.
You’re both wrong. You should have thought about him. If your child was included then his should’ve been too. You always should think of him period. while she has a right to be upset and bring it up to you both she should not threaten to withhold visitation if you don’t call off the wedding. You need to apologize for not including him and do better in the future.
Hiw would you like it if your child was not at his dad’s engagement? When you decide to be with someone it’s a package deal …you say you love the child like your own yet you call him “their child” if it was just you 2 Nd not your child then this would have been ok …sorry sis you are definitely on the wrong foot to start being a step mom. My ex did the same to my son…they got married and my little one wasn’t a part of it…the relationship between the 2 is now nonexistent. Sorry you are at fault here …no the baby mom can’t withhold the Child …but you did that poor kid dirty
She is bitter and withholding visitation if there is an order is contempt. Watch out for the bitter ex’s they share a kid with bc it just gets worse and more dramatic as time goes on.
Honestly if it was me in this situation I would have required both kids to be there as you are also asking to join your bonus child’s life as well and I would have honestly felt like my child was not included in such a major life event of his father and my child’s feelings would also be hurt . She could be bitter but it looks like she is just upset that the child wasn’t included which he should have been included from the beginning just my opinion though
You should have included both kids. I’d consider that the other kid will feel left out.
But his mom is clearly a bit nuts. Apologize, rectify the situation with the child and move on. Don’t let the mom get to you or cause drama. If she withholds visitation go to court.
I can see both sides. But telling him to break off the engagement and withholding the child is extreme. She can’t hold that in court. But congrats!!
You should have waited until you had both kids but you could redo a picture but that’s no reason to stop visition
Yes you are wrong. If you include your son but not his? Really?? They both should be included! The excuse “I just didn’t think about it” is crap!
It’s not up to BM to “call off your engagement”!
She needs to focus on her child and not your business. Dad needs to make sure he has court order visitations in place, if she violates it, all he has to do is call the police to pick his child up or file a motion with the courts. She will then needs to pick up the cost of legal fees if she’s the violator. You don’t need to be worry about BM feelings, she is not relevant to your relationship nor will she have say in how things are done. Dad needs to be direct with her. She can’t use the child as a pawn to dictate your family moving forward.
Shes bitter.but its your life.ignore and go enjoy your life
Put yourself in her shoes. You would probably be mad to if roles were reversed. You didn’t forget to include your son but you didn’t wait till the next weekend so u could include his child as well. But she’s also wrong bc that’s not a reason to withhold visitation
Let us try to ignore it.
I can see why she’s upset but she is being so much more unreasonable . Is there a way you could Include her son by asking him to also join in the family? Example would you be willing to be my sons brother… Said in a better way? Tell her you didn’t want to get his little hopes up even if you were 100 percent sure that he’d say yes.
I would be annoyed if my ex’s new fiancé included her son but not mine.
Legally, she cannot withhold any court ruled visitation rights. If she does, document and if your fiance is willing, go back to court. She’s probably more upset with him being able to move on, then taking offense where nothing intentional was done to her or her son.
Should have waited until your weekend. Kinda did exclude him. Hella rude.
Neither my bio daughter or step kids were included in my engagement…adults are allowed to do things that don’t involve kids.
My sister is divorced now from my nieces father. Well one of my nieces lives with the dad and other with my sister. My sister brought her daughter back to her dads house and that same night the father proposed to his new gf with only her children and my oldest niece and did not even include his other child in it. As I have witnesses she asked why was she not part of it and it made her feel like her dad wants nothing to do with her. Now you obviously planned this proposal so why could you not plan it when his child would be there to share in the joyous moment as your child was. To each their own but her saying call it off is a bit extreme. All you can do is try to make it right
I both sides on this. I feel like baby mama is being bitter threatening withholding visitation, but I can see why she’s upset that her child wasn’t included, but the son you two share together, was.
I get that you were excited to propose, but I would have waited until you had both kids. I am a step mother myself, and before we do anything big, I always think “well maybe we should wait for our weekend with the boys.” I’d feel super guilty leaving them out.
Ok both kids should hate been included, you are wrong for that. But…. She can’t with hold visitation for that nor tell u all to call off any damn thing.
I personally have just dealt with this. My daughter was excluded from her fathers gender reveal and found out when her best friend posted on snap. We don’t have a bad relationship but i feel bad for my daughter for being excluded from something so special. I don’t feel you should call it off just apologize and next time make sure you plan the important things so all that matter can attend.
I can see both sides, but the fact is it’s none of her business! And as long as the visitation is ordered through the court, she can’t withhold his son.
Voicing her concern that her son wasn’t included is understandable. However, telling someone to call off their engagement because of it? She sounds bitter af. He needs to keep all messages of her threatening to withhold visitation & take her to court