My five year old has the worst attitude, what should I do?

Consistent consequences to her actions…do not back down, you are the adult. You have to teach her how to respect you. My daughter was also very strong willed and still can be…and every time she steps out of line thinking she can talk to me some kind of way we have a “Coming to Jesus” as I like to call it…Mama​:clap:t2:doesn’t :clap:t2:play!:clap:t2:

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Maybe stop yelling. Tell her once, twice then give her time out. Each time escalate the time out to grounding and taking away some privileges. Also have a chat with her and let her know how her behaviour disappoints and what she needs to do to be a good role model for he younger sibling. Make it like she has a big responsibility and duty to show the way and lead. Might work. All the best mum and daughter!

I’m curious because you stated her age if maybe this is her first year of school? I only ask because school is draining and tiring and kiddos take behavior from other kids. Or maybe something is bothering her; during one of your good moments try to find out if anything is upsetting her and ask her why she’s acting that way. Maybe set up a reward system?

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She has your 100 percent attention when she is naughty. Reward with attention and hugs and one on one when she is being good. If you ask her to get dressed and she doesn’t, do something calming and fun for yourself and let the consequences of not behaving be her choice. I know this can be very time consuming. But, she sounds intelligent and the pattern needs to get turned around. Reward, ignore, accept consequences

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I homeschool my kids. I have one daughter that has a attitude at times. I’ve found that having her write sentences in reference to her behavior is more productive. Say she is disrespectful or mean… The sentence would be something to the effect…" I will not be hateful when speaking to family members that love me". Until prescribed number of sentences are completed, no tv or play allowed. I’ve given up to 300 sentences before. Attitude changes quickly. Plus it’s providing handwriting practice.

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Make sure you have her attention before asking…if she is playing or watching TV, before asking her to do something calmly stop her either tapping her shoulder or stoping the show ect…get her attention with out your voice. When you have eye contact ask her to do what you want. If she gives attitude. Ask her to think about how she responded and if she would like you to talk to her that way. If not could she try again…this changed my daughter attitude a lot…on occasions she still “chooses” to have an attitude about stuff and then i ask why…if she can give me a reason for her feeling i let her…she is a person and can express them, i get sarcastic and moody and things i have to do to and she is learning to regulate tone and emotions. She still needs to do the task.

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I have no advice becuz my 6 year old son is the same way

Spank that butt with a paddle.

Quit asking so many times. Ask once. If she doesn’t do it, TELL her the second time. Asking implies they have a choice of either yes or no. Telling them to does not. So, change your tone and the way you phrase what you want her to do into a directive. If after that she doesn’t do it, immediate punishment. You need to be consistent. Right now, you’ve set a precedent by telling her and telling her and then finally screaming at her. She has the upper hand here because in her mind, she’s deciding to do it or not. 2 strikes and you’re out isn’t hard for them to figure out. You give her the chance to do it, and she chooses not to, so in not doing it she chooses the consequence herself. But you have to be consistent, every single time, even if you’re exhausted or having a bad day, or it’ll never work. Even when she starts to listen and you see the change, the formula stays the same. Ask. Tell. Follow through Consequence.

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How would your mother have handled it

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Not only take things away but ground her. Try grounding her for a week and if it continues try 2 weeks and so on. Maybe that’ll help.

Here’s what I would do/what I have done: token economy system…
Sit down. Create a list of things you want her to do or work on. Create a second list of privileges as well as rewards.
Come up with some kind of token to use. Poker chips. Playing cards. Beads whatever.
Then write down how much you’ll “pay” her for doing the things on the first list. And how much each privilege and reward costs.
Set it up so she does the things she needs to do before she does the things she wants to do.

IGNORE the attitude. Just ignore it. It seems counter-productive but the more attention you pay to it the more she’ll use it.
Instead give her extra tokens for having a good attitude.

My oldest had to earn literally everything since we were having to fight him on literally everything including getting dressed, eating breakfast, brushing teeth.
It wasn’t just chores or helping out around the house it was self-care tasks.
So we made sure that he had brushed his teeth, got dressed, and ate his breakfast before he could play with toys or watch tv.
He’s 8 now. We’ve been able to relax a ton with this system over the years. At the current moment we just have make him earn cartoons and tablet time.

I asked my kids once. I told them once. Then I counted to 3…if I got to 3 they knew their bottom was going to be warm . I rarely shouted .
It may be old fashioned but it works.
Obviously there were other forms of discipline used but sometimes the old ways are the best.
Set the rules and the discipline for disobedience. It doesn’t take long for them to realise their behaviour comes with consequences of some kind .

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Just wait until 14-18​:joy::rofl:

I could have written this about my 4 year old but I learned that I’m only going to ask once after that it’s a demand. If she doesn’t, I take the tv remote away and she’s doing a chore with me

Following my 7 year old son is the same way

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Its mummy’s way or no way at all because you know better. One spank won’t hurt. She will understand that when u say it she better do ir

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Jeremy Wagley this just popped up after our convo about Jack lol I guess it’s not just us

How old is the youngest sibling. Maybe in the struggle of parenthood she feels lost in the shuffle. Maybe making it a point to take some one on one time with her would help her behavior all around. During that time you could explain to her that she is being looked up to and that sometimes you could really use her help? If she is helpful explain how great of a job she is doing. I think it would be worth a shot. If something else has changed recently it might have something to do with that. Has she gone to school? Maybe something there is bothering her. Take the one on one time with her to just hang and talk…get your nails done together. Take her to a special lunch. Anything just the two of you. “Some girl time” might help her open up.

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You have to remember that children are little humans how to be humans.
We must not expect perfection when we are not perfect ourselves.
Children learn their behaviors from those around them. They see an adult react with anger, frustration, attitude for simple things like someone is walking slow in the store or driving slow in the left lane or they see one parent treat another parent in not the greatest way weather that be a demeaning tone or publicly undermining or shaming the other parent. The kids pick up on these adult behaviors and learn to do them themselves but then turn around and get punished for acting just like their parent. So before we condemn a child for having human reactions and emotions we must look at where they have learned these reactions that we are not fond of and actively work on changing how we react to situations.
And remember at the end of the day children are human not perfect obedient robots. They have bad days weather at school or at home. They have stress and worry. They have bad sleep. They get overwhelmed with life. Their feelings get hurt… These are all identical feelings we adults feel and react too. The only difference is we give ourselves the permission to be a (male genital) but the kids are never allowed to react to the same emotions when they have YEARS less experience with dealing with said emotions.

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Sounds like oppositional defiance disorder. It’s not about boys or girls. It’s this fuckin OBNOXIOUS disease. My son has ODD and I can literally bust him til my hand hurts and he just laughs. He takes it as a challenge to be worse.

Also my son’s been diagnosed since 4 yrs old

Just clamp down don’t accept the behavior and follow through with staying on her you are training her how to treat you and the rest of the world so don’t accept the disrespect and just stay consistent she will learn

I’m a tell you a story. When my oldest were around that age and didn’t wanted to listen, I whooped her ass, when my other two were that age, my ex husband used to get in the way because they were his precious babies. Now adults, the one that I used to whooped, have two degrees, no babies and doing great, while my other two brats who daddy spoiled, are disrespectful, one got pregnant, the other one things she is better than others. I regretted not to whoop their asses.

Guuuurl welcome to having a 5 year old, lol. Just keep on being consistent with discipline and saying what’s right and wrong and she’ll get there. Mine is finally chilling out after a long year or more.

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My second attempt at a request with my boys was, “I am not asking you, I am telling you!” Which pretty solved the situation.

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Have a visual so she can see whats expected and a reward chart maybe so she can see good behaviour v bad behaviour and what the consequences will be

Sounds like she at the ripe old age of 5 is running the show. Spanking a child is NOT abuse and if you don’t get her under control just imagine her at 10. She will be telling you how it is.

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You don’t find spanking a good method yet the methods you use aren’t working… :thinking:

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3•2•1 Magic is an excellent resource for effective authoritative (NOT authoritarian) parenting methods. It works VERY well for ND kids.

We got our butts tore up if we were told to do something if we didn’t do it right away we knew trouble was coming if daddy said jump we said how high

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You’re not a failure welcome to parent hood. You’re a good mom . If you don’t give her the 🩴 she will get worse some kids are just hard headed like yours. Good luck

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Following because my 7 year old is the same way

Maybe help and guide her along. Give her some one on one time with you. Make rules and stick to them hard, take things away and explain things calmly to her.

Gotta get on top of that as young as possible. It will only get worse.

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Work as hard as you can to correct her as she grows or you’ll be stuck with lazy disrespectful teens/young adults…I’m goin through hell now.

Use a yardstick, stop raising your voice and entertaining the neighbors.

I that’s the problem with the world today. Not enough children getting their behinds tore up when they act out

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Consistency… I know you feel mean, I’ve had those feelings too :heart: Mom guilt sets in but I’ve learned to tell myself that I am not my child’s friend, I am their parent, teacher, guide… Children are constantly testing you to see what they can get away with, if they notice any weakness they will continue to push. My son is an expert “pusher” :rofl: I have to be consistent with what I expect and what I will not put up with. He pushes me but eventually when he sees I’m not backing down he gives up. Main point being, she is normal and at 5 it’s completely normal to test the boundaries.

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Ma’am, my advice involves a belt and her butt.

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I have one just like that. She’s 9 now. All these people saying just simply spank her that will fix it! No, not with these kids. If anything it makes mine behave worse. I don’t have any advice really but know you aren’t alone.

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Ugh I’m going though this now with my 9 year old son. It is draining and you do always feel like the bad guy. You are not alone mama :heart:

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My 5 almost 6 year old daughter is the same way. My boyfriend has a 12 year old son and he helps me a lot with her. And seems to listen to him more because he raises his voice. She doesn’t even listen to me when I raise my voice to her a lot of the time

This is rough. I have a 5yr old who acts the same. All I can say, that works so far, is Whatever consequences you choose has to hold some weight with them. Whatver is so important to them is the thing that they get taken away. If I give my son a timeout in his room…he could care less. But if I take his iPad away (for ignoring or saying no) or refuse to read his book at night (because he refused to get ready for bed and wasted time) then you would think I tore his whole world upside down. The consequence has to hurt (not talking physical) for it to hit home that you are serious and in charge. And this is hard for us moms because you’ll see just how much they hate their consequence, they’ll sweet talk you, they’ll say sorry and they understand…but do not give in. Explain the choice they made and tell them “we’ll try again tomorrow”.

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Tell her why she has to do these things. I also have a 4 and 2 year old. I tell her how she is becoming more responsible for herself and her surroundings. We talk about how food nourishes our bodies and helps us grow. We talk about how it’s important to keep our space clean and safe. Be open with her and tell her how you are feeling. Give her time frames, even if you have to set an actual timer so she can hear it. Like “finish up what you’re doing and in five minutes we need to brush teeth. You can brush first and I’ll make sure you got them all!”… Include both kids in as much as possible- cooking, cleaning, putting away laundry, talking about your bodies etc. Teach them how to take care of themselves.

Kids are people too and you can raise them to fear you (not saying you are, but so many people do) or you can raise them to do the right things because they are the right things to do. It won’t always be easy. My four year old still gives me attitude- because she’s four- and I still raise my voice sometimes- because I’m a person too and we all have feelings.

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I put this is so many comments but sticker chart! Every single time that she does something without a fight let her pick a sticker. Thats your target behavior so you’ll want to reward the crap out of it. If she doesn’t listen the first time remind her what she’s working towards. And still give a sticker if she gives in. I know it’s hard and there’s time constraints but give her choices. "If you don’t get dressed, mommy has to dress you and you don’t get a sticker or get dressed and pick a sticker. That’s immediate reward, she can visibly see her progress and her successes. Set a certain amount of stickers to equal a prize from a prize box. Yes the start up with cost some dollars but could be life changing. I have 5 kids, a couple of which are… hard kids lol. If your discipline isn’t working you gotta try something else.

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Spare the rod. Spoil the child

The yelling works because it let’s her know you’re actually serious. It shows her that YOU’RE the one in charge. Sorry I know people won’t like this but kids are just like dogs and they NEED to know who the alpha is.

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I love all the 50-somethings on here saying they were never allowed to act like that BUT NOT MAKING SUGGESTIONS like this mom is asking.

My son is doing this too, but he just had a younger brother. So I’m sure that’s some of it. But we’ve been taking toys away and opportunities to go do fun things and he has to earn them back.

Have her ass do the wall sit or in the corner with her arms up… I swear it works especially if u don’t wanna whoop her ass

Start taking things away and sticking to it. Don’t let her call your bluff. My 4yr old is doing this shit. Spanking doesn’t work, timeouts don’t work. Take things away and don’t give them back If the behavior persists. Children don’t NEED toys, etc. Those are privileges.

There’s nice, stern, and yell.
When I ask, I am mot all “Oh honey, please do ______.” And be all sweet. I’m direct. I say please and thank you. You’re her mother. Not her friend. Your job is to prep her for the real world. If a boss or teacher has to yell, they’ll fire her or toss her out of class.
Ask 2x, bc of her age. If she doesn’t, you got get her and make her do it. It’s not a debate. It’s not a choice. It’s not up for discussion. Every time she ignores you, take something. And make it hurt. Instead of Not TV for an HR, not TV today. At all. Take the privileges for an amount that hurt.
I had a rule, No TV unless you picked up your toys. Period. End of story. They figured it out after a couple of days I meant business. They’re going fo have their days, we call do… The trick is finding out how to navigate those and not let it become an excuse.
Start now bc if you wait bc it’s “easier”, you’re falling your child and setting her up to fail.

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For me I’ve noticed it’s how I word things. I usually say “we’ll see!” Vs. Saying no. I also say things like…“can u clean those toys up for me or do you need 5 more minutes.” Which he then says “yeah in 5 minutes mom.” This way he feels like he “wins” because he has made the choice himself & I win because he picked the toys up. I constantly praise the lil things & I say “I’m proud of you.” If you give two choices they feel they can pick and that they’re in “charge” of making important choices! Sometimes over talking really pushes the buttons of some people. I’ve always told my kids “only you are in charge of you and your actions.” I hold them accountable for their choices.

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I’ve noticed with my kiddo that repeating what I’m expecting & ignoring her tantrum is most effective. If I say clean your room & she ignores me, I get her attention and say clean your room again. If she starts throwing a tantrum because she doesn’t want to, I just repeat clean your room until she stops the tantrum and does so. Spanking and such doesn’t phase her. Literally repeating a simple phrase put Bluey up until she does so is like magic with her.

I took a positive discipline course in February and the biggest thing I took away from it is the “connect before you correct” method. Look it up and see if it may help. It changed so.much for me.

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Exact situation happened to my daughter and her 4 year old that has a 2 year old sister. Too much giving in to both kids, I’ve never seen the likes of it. Parents need to parent and not let the kids control them, it’s pretty sickening to be honest. The 4 year old just started jr… kindergarten and her attitude has improved quite a bit.

A hickory across her will go a long way in curing her problem.

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I am going through the exact same thing with my 5 year old. I’m so lost. My sweet little girl isn’t so sweet anymore

Set her down and tell her you will give her one chance to listen to you. After that she will lose privileges. You will not accept her attitude.

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Tell her things are going to change. She is old enough to know how to behave and there will be no more multiple reminders and chances. Then do it.

Stop asking nicely. Use an authoritative voice and look her in the eye. Be no nonsense. She has learned to string you along because you allow it. If she doesn’t do something right away, immediate consequence. Practice talking in a voice like you are training a dog. Practice being assertive. You will be amazed how well this works. You don’t have to yell or be mean, just very direct. See the meme about “Mary Poppins voice”/“Batman voice.”

I also found a chore chart was helpful. Put anything on it you want to have her do, with an extra star awarded for doing it right away, without a fuss or any nagging. For example: get dressed without a fuss, brush teeth without a fuss, get in the car seat without a fuss, put toys away the first time asked, put dishes in sink without being asked, etc. You have to be absolutely consistent with this though. You can have multiple copies of the chore chart & stars wherever you need her cooperation: the car, the store, etc.

Read some parenting books/blogs/info as to natural consequences you can use. When my son wouldn’t get dressed for preschool I’d use a football hold to avoid flailing arms and legs and put him in the car with his clothes. He could get dressed or go to school in his underwear. If your child won’t clean up their toys they go away for a week to another location (work, trunk, someone else’s house—wherever she can’t get them). Up to you if she has to do something to earn them back.

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Might want to change your belief in methods :woman_shrugging:t2:

Your child thinks she’s the boss cause she doesn’t have real consequences. A 5 year old runs your home because she has no respect that you’re the adult and parent.

My mom didn’t spank me either. She certainly should have though.

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It’s normal! You are her safe person she knows you will never stay mad forever or stop loving her so she tries pushing boundaries with you.
Do you remember being a child? With grown ups always telling you what to do and rushing you? Some kids don’t think much of it but really smart kids tend to question and get a little bit stubborn…
You are doing a good job! Don’t listen to parents that create a culture of fear and violence in their home.
Discipline is a good thing but always remember that your kids are little people trying to figure things out and they deserve respect and understanding.
My oldest daughter was a lot like yours at that age but with a lot of patience, some natural consequences, lots of talks about the difference between respectfully questioning authority Vs disrespect and attitude she is now a very responsible, smart, and independent 13 year old.
Sometimes she still gives me attitude… of course like a normal teenager but nothing out of the ordinary.
Parenting is such a challenge and it is harder when you get kids with BIG personalities but deep breaths and lots of bargaining helps.
I try to give my kids options whenever possible so they feel like they have some sort of control of their own life. Patience and family therapy has worked wonders for us as a family and for my daughter as a person to learn how to manage her emotions in a healthy way

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So u think it’s ok to yell at her but u think it’s wrong to spank that might be the problem

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Let her go stay with a black family for 2 days that’s all it would take. She would get the whooping of her life and I bet she would straighten up and that’s facts.

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Make her stand in corner facing the wall… Each time she acts like that, she will know that’s what’s going to happen… She will knock it off

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She needs a spanking ! Its only going to get worse if you’re current methods are not working. Correct it now while she is still little.

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Take every single thing away from her, leave the bed in her room, and that’s it. Good behavior gains her things back slowly over time. Negative behavior gets them taken away again. TV, electronics, fun activities and what not have to be earned as well by doing chores, and behaving at all times. Make a chart she can read and follow herself, I wish you the best of luck!

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Poor parenting vet off yours ass and start correcting her till it is to late

I’m in the same boat. My son doesn’t listen until I start yelling and cursing and threaten to beat his butt. Honestly I’m lost too.

Yesterday I asked my grand daughter to.pick up her toys and like all 4 yr olds she ignored me.Ten minutes later I asked her if she was going to pick up her toys and she said No.Then I told her if I found any toys on the floor in 15 minutes I would throw them away.She picked them up.
If u threaten something do it

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Earlier my son,5 next week, grabbed a toy and I told him “Go change out of your uniform before you do anything else” because they’re expensive and I don’t want them stained up.

He proceeded to slam his toy on the table and yell “NO!”

I happened to be within reach so I popped him on the butt. (No hard, I don’t beat my child🙄) and he took his little attitude to his room and changed his shirt and shorts, when he came back out it was a different kid. Haven’t had another issue today.

Most of y’all think when we say “we whoop our kids” that we are beating these children. We’re not. I rarely have to spank my child. He gets time outs and we do deep breaths when he’s overstimulated but right then he was literally just being an ass. :woman_shrugging:t2:

Of course you don’t spank that’s why she acts that way. No child pf mine is going to tell me what to do, I’m the boss period.

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One time sit her down and explain the rules 1. I will tell you one time to do something if you do not do it within 5 minutes ( example pick up your toys and wash your hands) if she doesn’t comply don’t say anything else and proceed to put her stuff in a black garbage bag and put said bag in your car truck. This way it is her decisions how she wants to live. If she doesn’t wash no food and take all treats out of the house. If the food has been put away before she washes her hands then when she complies let her have a peanut butter sandwich. Explain and follow thru. Explain that you love her but Will not tolerate her behavior. A timer works for the 5 minutes. When she Knows you are serious her behavior will change. God Bless

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Watch How to do a time out probably on you tube

Young one - the technique you are using - remaining calm and asking over and over - takes more patience from the parent then the child. You have a lot of great advice here. The only thing I want to add is stay strong, calm and don’t forget to breathe - :heart::v:t4:

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Let our child know who is boss… imagine she isn’t even pre teen yet… it’s only going to get worse… spanking won’t kill her… break this attitude before she thinks she can beat u… I always tell my kids they don’t have to like me and my punishments. My duty as a mom is to raise them the right way… they will thank me later…

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Sounds like oppositional defiant disorder. My grandson was this way and his pediatrician suggested therapy

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By what you are doing you are creating. A monster. And if you thank it’s bad now. In about 6 to 10. Years.you will see the monster you raised

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Put some switch to them legs and she will learn quickly and explain why she is getting in trouble

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Don’t seem like your method is working…Pop that rear end a few times and get her attention and she might just have some respect for you that she dont have now…

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You don’t need to spank her, honestly flicking might be okay imo (it’s annoying but it doesn’t hurt anyone). I’d probably seek advice from someone with some understanding of child development :relieved: good luck xx

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Toys, tv, going into stores and stuff are all a privilege not a need. If my daughter doesnt want to eat dinner she doesnt get any family night tv time and she doesnt get to pick out a book to read before bed, its brushing teeth and straight to bed. If she leaves her toys out and doesnt want to pick them up or gives back talk I get a trash bag and start picking up toys, usually leads to her screaming and crying but man does she start picking up those toys before I can get to them. No yelling, no spanking. Just calmly laying down rules and what happens if they are not followed. You have to follow through on threats or they will never take you seriously. Theres never a need to hurt your child unless they are giving physical harm to someone else then by all means pop that ass. My daughter had a biting problem I bit her she stopped. One night she punched me in the face and spit at my face I popped (lightly but it shocked her) her in the mouth and she has never hit me or done anything like that again. If she wants to have a fit in the store I take my buggy to customer service and take her to the car and let her sit there until shes calmed down and says shes not going to continue her behavior and explain that it’s a privilege to be in the store with me. Only had to do it twice and she hasn’t acted out since. Shes 5 in December.

Your not being consistent. Ask her to do something once than if she don’t listen give her a time out. Also use then when and now statements. When you do … then you may have … Your giving her to many chances.

Put her in her bedroom with nothing in it !

Stop asking nicely so many times. This is why she does it. She doesn’t respect your authority because you aren’t consistent. Tell her one time. If she doesn’t immediately move to do your request then walk over to her and take her hand and take her to her chore. When you take things away keep them away. A week is good.

Maybe you should spank her (out of love & not hard enough to leave a mark) cuz you’ve obviously tried everything else and she isn’t getting it

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Josh Gutierrez sounds familiar apparently he needs therapy :sweat_smile:

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Shit. I yell and even the dogs run. Lol. And there is a difference between an ass whooping and a spanking. I don’t hardly ever have to spank my girls. But the yelling thing gets them everytime. I even pretend to get up to whoop them they jump. Its all in the tone of your voice.

Honestly it’s really common with kids at this age. & girls with their moms butt heads. I go through it a lot with my 6 year old girl. She’s trying to challenge you. You have to stick to your guns & be consistent. Pick a punishment & stick with it. I send my daughter to her room & won’t let her come out for x amount of time. I might do 30 minutes or an hour. When she hears everything going on outside of her room she’s really upset & wants to come out. I set a timer & say you can’t come out for however long. When she comes back out all I have to do is say “do you want to go back to your room” & she quickly changed her attitude. That being said she still gets the attitude a lot & does the eye rolls I think it’s just a part of their age sometimes they think they know everything lol. Just be strong. Remember this is all going to pay off when she’s older because if you let her walk all over you now it will only get worse when she’s a teenager

What I did with my sassy child was if I asked her to do something, and she ignored me, I sat down in front of her to get her attention and once she gave me attitude I automatically took away what she was playing with, no warnings and said get this back if you do what I asked. She stropped off but it did the job, then on occasion she would give me more attitude just to push me further to see if I would give in, what happened with that one was I started cleaning up around her putting all her toys away, after she realised that I wasn’t listening and keep on cleaning up, she just stormed off once again. It’s hard they like to test who is the real boss and you need to stand firm. I started getting the little man ready and praising him then she got a little jealous so she did the same and I praised her afterwards, little rewards, he got a chocolate moose for getting dressed, she wanted a chocolate mousse but not without getting dressed.

Bad news bears, this is only the beginning. She’s showing her independence and her own SELF. They are still learning to show/express their own emotions at that age. It’s a tough period for sure!

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Mine tried that, and I started not doing what he asked me to do, and when he would start to get bothered by it, I would explain that it doesn’t feel very good to have someone not listen to you, and if you want me to be nice and do as you ask, then I need you to do the same.

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Just remember she is a human and sometimes humans just have feelings and sometimes the thing you perceive as attitude or a tone is just her way of communicating I used to get in trouble for attitude and now I cant even stand up for myself and get walked over all the time

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Because parents are so scared to spank. Kids act like this. Spank your child!! They mouth off pop em in the mouth!!!

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My daughter is 7 and drives me NUTS with the not listening until I lose my shit. I don’t have a whole lot of advice but I do want you to know that you’re NOT ALONE!! :heart::heart::heart:

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If you do not want to spank, do not let anyone try to convince you! This is the boat we’re in and we talk, it works. At this age they are still trying to figure out and understand their emotions, and I don’t feel comfortable hitting them for that. That doesn’t seem right. Try to figure out why she is doing what she’s doing and figure out if she knows better. I found out that kids need repetition before things stick, so you may think she knows but she actually may not.

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First, you are not a failure. Second, I highly recommend the book The Explosive Child. Also, gentle parenting techniques. Children do good when they can. So when they’re not doing good, there’s a reason they can’t. We have to find that reason. Best of luck. Im currently finding ways to help my almost 6 year old daughter. She is a tough one!

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School can be a reason, if there’s students in her class acting that way it could be a monkey see monkey do. Also HALT is a great method. Sometimes kids are just sassholes. We’re forever parenting as trial and error to see what works with us and our kids. Just remember you’re NOT failing as a mom. You ARE doing your best. You CAN make it through this stage.

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If there’s only a consequence when you’ve asked several times and yell, she knows you aren’t serious until then. Ask one time and then there’s an immediate consequence.
At the same time, when she is calm and settled maybe dig a little deeper as to why she is not listening to mom. There is no use trying to find an answer when everyone is upset. How old is younger sibling? If it’s a new baby, that could be why.

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