My friend got mad I didn't tell her I had a boyfriend: Advice?

My question is should I reach out to a friend who ignores me and is mad because I didn’t tell her I had a boyfriend? She seemed offended that I didn’t tell her, but it was a sticky situation. He’s my first boyfriend and had a baby with someone else. When I first met him, I didn’t really tell anyone. But she only found out because he posted it on Facebook, and someone she knows saw it and told her. I wasn’t trying to hide it from her, but she got all hurt from it. We have not talked for this long, and she was literally my only friend. I’m not sure why she’s so hurt or offended by this. We didn’t ever talk about boys, so that’s another reason why I didn’t say anything. I wasn’t sure it was going to work out. This happened near the end of last year. She hasn’t talked to me since. Anytime I text her, she doesn’t answer. The last time she did, she made an excuse and said she’s been busy and then continued to ignore me after. I don’t feel like wasting my time but I am wondering if I should reach out to her and see what’s going on. We were really close until this happened last year. A lot happened to me last year as well, and I didn’t feel like talking about it. I didn’t think it would bother her sooo much and thinking I should of told her now because I think I lost her as a friend.

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She sounds like a petty bitch.

From experience she’s gotta figure out why she’s so mad and work through it enough that she can communicate it to you. Friends like that, I have let go after years of trying. If she is truly your friend there shouldn’t be a problem.

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I think it’s possible your friend has/had feelings for you. You not telling her you have a boyfriend is not reason enough to cut it off, even if she was offended it’s a forgivable offense. This sounds more like she’s upset because she is jealous.

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Girl give her her space and leave her alone people change respect it

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What is this high school? Why waste your time? If this person wanted to spend time with you, they would have contacted you. You were not obligated to share your personal life with them to begin with. xo

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The fact you weren’t super excited to reach out and tell her immediately,6 should tell you all you need to know…all I mean is if y’all were truly real bonded friends you probably would have have been been excited to share the news with her. That’s how it’s been in my personal experiences anyways. Good luck but don’t waste too much time and effort worrying about someone that doesn’t lift you when down or shine with you when you’re sparkling!

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Just make sure she knows how to get in touch with you when she’s ready. Send birthday and Christmas/holiday cards, e-cards or texts. That way if they bounce back you know her info has changed.

You didn’t really do anything wrong, there’s thing I don’t tell even my friends or like a best friend. I tell them eventually but sometimes I keep whatever it is to myself to see how the situation will go. She’s in the wrong here, it sounds like she’s jealous. It doesn’t matter how close you are to someone, sometimes you just want to keep things to yourself. Now I do have a friend that I tell everything to as soon as it happens but that doesn’t mean you have to do that with your friend. When I find out one of my friends didn’t tell me something right away or even months down the road, I’m like “dammnnn you didn’t tell me that” and say something silly like we need to talk more even if we talk everyday. She has to get over it. I would maybe reach out a few more times and then let it go after that. Maybe she’s just too childish to accept that not everything in your life revolves around telling her about it right away. Shit I’ll be your friend!

It could be possible that she is upset because she felt like she wasn’t good enough for you to tell her

Maybe your friends feelings are hurt because they liked you in a non friendly way and they’re jealous.:woman_shrugging:

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Your friend has a crush on you

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Either she has feelings for you or him…

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Well I was in ur shoe once before! That was my best friend! I didn’t tell her at first cause I knew she liked him but at same time she was in long time relationship. She got so upset when she found out about me and my guy of 11 years (he’s my husband now) cause I didn’t tell her. Why do I have to tell her everything. Nope!!! Everything changed since she found out. Yep jealous!

I don’t think you’re that close. Best friends tell each other everything. Most 1st relationships don’t work out. But usually friends know you’re in a relationship. But honestly you’re not obligated to tell her anything about your life. Its possible she had a crush on you ( since you don’t talk about boys or crushes?) Or shes just hurt you’re not as good as friends as you thought. You can make new friends. No one is under any obligation here. But I’d leave her alone.

There is something else going on, I don’t know what but something else. Does she have a crush on you? Does she have a crush on him? Somethinf more than this

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How old are you, 15? This is petty.

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She’s not your friend

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Sounds like your friend was a friend to keep tabs on you and realized they’re not as ‘in the loop’ as they thought they were. Losing control and mad about it. Any good friend might casually say ‘why you holding out?’ Or something like that but they wouldn’t make a big deal about it.

Obviously you aren’t very close if she found out through someone else. She is being childish. I wouldn’t even bother. A real friend would be happy for you! Let her be and if she wants to remain friends she will reach out.

She is not your friend and deep down you know that.You don’t have owe anyone anything do you forget that girl

Friends don’t treat friends like that

Dude. If my best friend got a bf and kept it a secret I’d be pissed. Call me petty, idc. She’d be pissed too. Y’all cray. :rofl:

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IIt’s possible that your friend isnt really upset that you didnt tell her, so much as theres something else going on with the situation that you’re not quite seeing.

Some people have mentioned your friend having a crush on you…or your boyfriend.
But it’s also possible your boyfriend and her have some kind of negative history. You didnt tell her so she couldn’t tell you before things between y’all got serious.

Whatever that history is may be bad enough or painful enough that she has to distance herself from it.

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Sounds like she had a crush on him or you. For her to be looking at his posts regular for her to see right when he posts something may lean more toward her liking him. Wouldn’t worry about it. Not worth wasting time on.

Losing a friend is hard. I completely sympathize. You don’t owe it to her to tell her things, but usually when you consider someone your best friend you do tell each other quite a bit. Maybe she feels hurt you didn’t share with her and she found out from someone else, maybe she feels replaced, maybe she had a crush on him, or you. Keep reaching out if it matters to you. A good friendship is hard to come by. Good luck!

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Sounds like some of the story is missing

Honestly i wouldnt even be mad if my friends didnt tell me they were in relationships or not. It really isnt that big of a deal and shes acting like a kid. So just stop texting her and move on with your life. Thats not even on a need to know basis anyways.

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Sound to me if she was really 100% your friend she wouldn’t be acting petty and not talking to u and ignoring u and uses lame ass excuses . Find a new friend cause she is being a petty c*nt