My question is should I reach out to a friend who ignores me and is mad because I didn’t tell her I had a boyfriend? She seemed offended that I didn’t tell her, but it was a sticky situation. He’s my first boyfriend and had a baby with someone else. When I first met him, I didn’t really tell anyone. But she only found out because he posted it on Facebook, and someone she knows saw it and told her. I wasn’t trying to hide it from her, but she got all hurt from it. We have not talked for this long, and she was literally my only friend. I’m not sure why she’s so hurt or offended by this. We didn’t ever talk about boys, so that’s another reason why I didn’t say anything. I wasn’t sure it was going to work out. This happened near the end of last year. She hasn’t talked to me since. Anytime I text her, she doesn’t answer. The last time she did, she made an excuse and said she’s been busy and then continued to ignore me after. I don’t feel like wasting my time, but I am wondering if I should reach out to her and see what’s going on. We were really close until this happened last year. A lot happened to me last year as well, and I didn’t feel like talking about it. I didn’t think it would bother her sooo much and thinking I should have told her now because I think I lost her as a friend.
Why would she even be offended by the fact that you got a boyfriend?..is she your mom? No. You’re allowed to be with someone that makes you happy. Its your life.
Bruh. Lol. Sounds toxic AF.
She wasn’t your friend to begin with.
I swear I read this one before.
Is anyone else getting déjà vu? I swear this exact post was posted a few months ago.
She wanted that dude and is mad you have him
Maybe she liked you. But it sounds like you should just make new friends. If she’s ignoring you don’t bother with her.
Is she in high school? Because she sounds like a high schooler. Joking and serious at the same time. I wouldn’t worry about it, and I wouldn’t waste my time on it.
Girl bye. Let her go. You don’t have to tell her nothing.
This has been posted before 🤷. Anyways she’s either jealous that she can’t have you or him now. Leave things the way they are because true friends would be happy know matter what.
I had this with one of my best friends. She got pretty narky over it. Turned out years down the track that she actually had a crush on me. She knew I was straight, though that didn’t change her feelings.
She sounds more controlling and toxic.
I would just drop her and her drama.
Honestly, this sounds very middle school. I think I’d have to get rid of the jealous, controlling “friend” for good. Nothing good ever comes from keeping people like around you.
She’s not a true friend if she just drops the friendship over you having a boyfriend. Unless she’s into you more than a friend. I would find a new friend.
Maybe gf was secretly gay
I found out my best friend was pregnant when she posted on Facebook. I was hurt too . We live about 45mins from each other and haven’t seen each other in a while because of covid. I was expecting a call or text. I just need to lower my expectations. Everyone is different and you should understand her side too as she should understand yours.
I think she’s made where she stands clear. Move on. Someone else will value your friendship and respect your boundaries.
If anything, she seems a bit self centered.
I would say based on this post, you are young, maybe like preteens or early teens? So ;
- Focus on what makes you happy
- Reach out to her tell her how you feel and go from there.
- Before you reach out maybe focus on why you didn’t tell her in the first place, and if the roles were reversed how you would feel
You don’t owe anyone anything, it’s your right to keep information about your life private from anyone you choose. You didn’t withhold the information to be hurtful or malicious. It sounds like you’ve made multiple attempts to reach out to her and she’s ignored them, I wouldn’t waste my time.
Send her a letter explain how much you miss her and apologise for upsetting her but then explain why you didn’t tell her right away. For some people a relationship means they feel that you font need them anymore or they feel pushed out. If she diesnt have the ability to respect you have other interests outside if your friendship then she has issues. After you send your letter, if you still get no response you will have to just let her go. I had a friend who resented my relationship, would argue constantly with my new partner until I exploded on them both. She chose to fall out with me completely and I let her go since it was her choice. Walking away from drama is more dignified that keeping going over the same ground. Good luck in your relationship x x
Maybe she’s “mad” because since you never talked about guys before maybe she thought you were into girls. Maybe she was interested in you but was afraid to tell you…🤷
I’m almost wondering if she thought possibly y’all were going in a direction of MORE than best friends? I ONLY suggest this possibility bc it happened to ME! Apparently i hadn’t made it quite clear I wasn’t into having a gf. Well… Same exact thing… When i got with my Man … Now of 7 yrs… She has NEVER talked to me again. Just food for thought
First of all if she did that bec you didn’t tell her your business and respect your privacy then move on… secondly if you could not tell her about what is going on in your personal life then you didn’t trust her for whatever reason she is not really a friend so don’t lose sleep over it… let it go…
Sounds to me like she wasn’t a real friend. I had someone do this to me as well, she stopped talking to me when I got a boyfriend, bit it was because she was no longer getting attention from me. Her loss. Someone who values you will come along.
Doesn’t sound like much of a friend if she’s ignoring you for a petty reason. Leave her be and she may come back around but if she doesn’t then don’t waste your time worrying about her if she’s going to throw a pity party
She’s being petty. As moms we have so much to deal with already. I wouldn’t stress myself out. People come and go for a reason. You’ll make new friends. Don’t worry about it.
Doesn’t make sense why she would be so mad over that. Shes not a true friend if shes going to act that way, and not to talk to you for a year because of it is ridiculous. Maybe she was with him before and now shes mad and jealous that your with him. You have 2 choices either talk to her and find out why she’s really mad or just leave it alone and find new friends. If it was me I would just leave it alone
Sounds a bit like jealousy. If she was a “real friend” she would tell you what’s bothering her so you all can work it out. Either that or she liked him and never said anything to you about it. Either way, like I said before if she was supposedly your friend she wouldn’t let something like that break up a friendship.
She doesn’t sound like a very good friend if she’s upset with you over something so small. That’s not someone you should really want around. I would look for new friends, and just be thankful for the good memories made with her and move forward.
True friends don’t treat their friends like she’s been treating you. If it were me, I wouldn’t make contact anymore. If she wanted to be friends, she would contact you instead of acting the way she is.
It’s not anger. It’s hurt. She’s upset that you guys are friends and you didn’t share a big event with her. On one hand it really isn’t any of her business. On the other maybe she feels like you didn’t value your friendship with her enough to share such a big event in your life. Either way. Reach out and try to talk to her like an adult. To get her feelings on why. How would you feel if the situation was reversed. Sometimes people don’t know how to say, hey this hurt me, and I don’t understand why you did it.
YOUR relationship is YOUR business. Period. If you weren’t ready to tell people then that is your choice and if she was a true friend she would respect that. If.you.feel like reaching out maybe write a letter or text explaining to her what you explained here that you weren’t ready to tell people yet and wanted to see how it played out first. Encourage her to tell you why she is upset and then leave it at that. She’ll either come around and explain what her deal is or she wont. And if she wont then that is her loss not yours. Sounds to me like she may be jealous but that’s just my opinion. Write her a final note then leave her alone. The ball will be in her court and you can rest easy knowing that you tried. You don’t HAVE to tell anyone ANYTHING until you are ready to. If she cant take few min to talk to you about it then she needs to grow up.
How old are you both? This is she is acting immature about it, if she is going to do that move on find another friend!
I get that she was hurt but if she a truest of friends than she would understand why you did not tell her…especially if you were already going through other stuff. My best friends don’t tell me everything about their lives all the time. I know if that when we would they will tell me if they want me to know. One of my best friends did not always tell me when she was dating someone either. Sometimes I wouldn’t find out til a month or so either. But I also get it because she had kids…when the relationship lasted for a while then we would talk about it. I also respect the fact that just because you are best friends you also share what you are comfortable with at the time. I have been burnt by friends too by sharing too much information but I also have learned over the years who my truest of friends are.
She must have felt your relationship would have included conversations about boyfriends. It’s been five months now, she has made her decision and it shows by her behavior.
Let her go. It wasn’t a close relationship at all if you didn’t trust her enough to share that piece of your life. And finding out through Facebook broke her trust.
I’d continue to casually reach out here and there if she’s a good person (go with your gut)… it will either come around or it won’t.
You had something going on (that you didn’t need to justify or explain) maybe she did as well. Good luck!
Girl please you do not need to tell your friend every detail about your life just because she feels you need to! If she was a true friend she would be ecstatic for you not mad. Let her be mad and go enjoy your life without her it’s all about me behavior
It’s really non of her business. If she was a true friend she wouldn’t be bothered by it. Just let her go…
Very worried situation sounds like she hasn’t been made u aware of her personal feelings towards u … or she’s extremely toxic
It’s really none of her business if you have a bf and has no right to be mad cause you didn’t tell her.
I wouldn’t contact her, she should make the 1st move.
I can understand her feeling this way if it was common practice that you all did this regarding your mates. However, if it’s not, move on pass it. She will be ok. True friendship will always stand the test of time.
She probably liked him too & is pissed off that you swooped in there all silent like & had him locked down before she even knew you were a contender.
Is it her business? I would like to know if I’m really close to you so I could be happy for you which I can’t be if I don’t know. However, it is your business.
She does not sound much as a friend if u ask me? How old are you guys cause this behavior from her is so teenager like.
Could be that she’s not mad only because you didn’t tell her but that since it’s your first boyfriend she was afraid she would lose her friend and in her eyes she saw you not telling her as a sign that she was right so she pulled away from you first.
She obviously wasn’t as good of a friend as you thought. Wash your hands of her.
You didn’t lose a friend you just found out who was a real friend and who wasn’t. It’s totally weird that she’s mad about that. Maybe she had feelings for you???
This is very juvenile. I think the situation lacks maturity on each one’s part. Move on and find some real friends.
If you were that close why wouldn’t you of told her? People are right you guys weren’t real friends to each other
Why would she get offended unless she’s jealous of it? Kinda sounds like she’s just projecting her jealousy lol
This is odd on two different accounts. 1.) Who gets mad over not knowing their friend has a bf? And 2.) Why was it kept a secret from the best friend? In any case, seems like she’s already cut her losses and moved on, perhaps you should do the same.
Maybe she likes the person you are involved with? Sounds like she may be jealous.
Just saying you don’t feel like wasting your time should answer your own question. Considering that comment shows you feel she’s a waste of time.
All this sounds like is high school drama. She’ll get over it.
Bigger question is why you felt the need to keep your boyfriend a secret
Sounds like a single white female type of situation…
Any friend needs to respect your privacy.
You guys seriously have too much time on your hands:joy:
Sounds like she needs to grow tf up! It’s none of her business who you’re in a relationship with. That’s between you and him. If she can’t respect that, then drop her
She wasn’t a real friend. Move on. Make new, better friends.
It’s none of her business
Let it be you go on with your life and be happy.its your life so be happy
You have done your part, just let go or else you are going to end up miserable.
Silence seems to be her answer.
Sounds like a her problem to me
She’s just a friend in passing
Life gos on .r u still with the boyfriend.
Let it/ her go.
While it sounds counterintuitive, the silent treatment is, in fact, a form of verbal abuse.
Sounds like a lifetime movie
she was never your friend to behave this way. move on and let go of her.
Your business is your business. Friend or not. If a friend gets that mad over something like this. She doesn’t seem like a good friend at all. If it was one of my friends and they didn’t tell me, I wouldn’t call them about it and get mad about ut. I would try to be understanding and wait til my friend was ready to tell me. Some people keep things secret for a reason. Some people wanna make sure it’s something that could last, before putting it all out there.
I don’t get, why does she care so much? Could she have been romantically attracted to you
Maybe your boyfriends baby is hers🤷🏽♂️
In life you lose friends…
Your friend is not a friend
Very immature on her part and real petty …I would move on my opinion that sounds kinda creepy or jealously either the way I’m out Smh a whole year of being mad For what reason besides the boyfriend…Not a sensible reason for me unless she has a girl crush on You …Just weird not sensitive WEIRD
She needs to get over it. You’re not obligated to tell her everything
It’s none of her business what you do. The audacity!
Too much stress over a friend ship. Tell her to grow up.
She sounds immature. Not her business until you make it known. Your choice if that happens.
My best friend for over 15 years stopped talking to me because I had kids and hers were grown. I didn’t want to go to clubs and Vegas all the time, she digressed, I grew up! Shiz happens!
When someone shows you who they TRULY are then BELIEVE them! Don’t make someone a priority when they treat you like an option Sometimes as we grow older friendships end & opens doors & your heart to new ones. Good luck sweetie
Is it a healthy relationship with ur boyfriend? If so, leave her alone and if not and she is just looking out for u and not accepting a bad relationship then reach out… but if a “friend” is being petty over ur happiness !! BYE
What are you guys, 12 years old?
No, she sounds petty af. Nobody needs that kind of negativity.
Sounds like she is jealous. Forget about her. No big loss.
She in love with you
Who cares she’ll get over it
Friendship goes both ways!
She is not a friend!
You are better off with out her!!
A friend should be happy for you…you dont owe her an explanation…if she was a friend…she is a very shallow and inconsiderate friend…she is enjoying your attention…stop trying to fix it…let her put a little effort into it…
Plain and Simple…She’s just a Friend according to you so you owe her nothing…She’s not your keeper…If you want or need a Friend move on and let this be a lesson to keep some thing’s to your self…I learned the Hard way not to tell a Friend to much of your business…
If u haven’t talked in a long time then ur really not friends are u. Ur more like mutuals instead. She doesn’t need to know ur business and is only seeking ur attention to further some story she is telling herself and maybe others. Do not trust her and stop trying to fix it. U have friends u just may not realize it yet.
She sounds like an arsehole and needs to grow up! Who needs enemies with a 'friend’s like her?! Id just forget about her stop chasing her and carry in with life make new real friends and be happy
You don’t need friends like this. What happens if you do something else like decide to have a baby and keep the pregnancy secret for a while? She will throw her toys out the pram. Get new friends.
Have you tried explaining to them why you didn’t want to rush telling them? Maybe they’ve also had stuff going on that’s effected them or was you both talking fine before she found out about your new fella?
Sounds like she needs to grow up. Just because she’s your friend, doesn’t mean she needs to know every little detail of your life.
Hell, I have a friend who I’m sure doesn’t tell me absolutely everything. And so what? She has her reasons, and I respect that she only tells me what she wants me to know. I’m the same with her. Everyone has their secrets and their reasons for keeping them. And its not always a negative thing.
If she really respected you and cared about you, she would understand that you would have had your reasons not to tell her. And wouldn’t have flipped out like she has. Friends like this who flip out before finding out the whole story are 100% not worth keeping around.
There are a lot of people out there who are not genuinely happy for you and your choices. I have been through the same experiences. Or it could be a loyalty thing aswell. But she could of atleast given you a chance to explain what’s happening and why you didn’t share anything private about your life.
I had a friend who was mad that I had a boyfriend and that his kids had played with my child. She sent me a long arse essay as to why she thought I was out of order for doing that because she hadn’t seen my daughter in awhile. So I sent back a response to all her shitty bullet points and asked if she was a lesbian and in love me, well safe to say she didn’t reply! But this was the same friend that called me selfish and up my own arse for having a child and expected me to apologies for having a child and not put my friend first. Safe to say we aren’t friends anymore and often think if she’ll ever grow up! I did wonder that her behaviour was more of an infatuation with me rather then a friendship. All my other friends have never had an issue with the choices I make in my life. If this is a so called valued friend then surely she would of valued you better and not fall out with you over something so petty.