My friend got mad I didn't tell her I was taking my IUD out: Advice?

I am 21 years old with an 18-month-old. I haven’t had baby fever since having my 1st baby. Well, now we have decided to take the IUD out and start trying. I am not the type of person to talk about anything to do with my relationship until afterward. Well, last night, I was able to tell one of my girlfriends. Keep in mind just over four months ago; she told me once you become pregnant again, if I haven’t become pregnant, then we can’t talk every day. That I wouldn’t be able to talk to her about it, she has been in my life since I was a baby. She is my mom’s longest friend, almost like an aunt we have now had a friendship form. I told her that we will be starting to try and that I was scared to tell her because I didn’t want our relationship to change. Well, she is now pissed at me for not telling her before I got my IUD taken out. She is a mama to 1 but has been trying for a second. She said that I wasn’t honest and that it shows how our friendship actually is. Am I wrong to be a little pissed off? I was scared and excited to tell her now; I feel like I lost a friend/aunt because I want to have another baby.

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This is a little weird she has no right to be upset with you. Doesn’t sound like a friend to me

She is selfish and jealous.

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That’s not how a friend should respond… it’s not her choice if you want to become pregnant or fo become pregnant.

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Sounds like shes very immature and controlling. It’s honestly not her business what you and your partner do and you definitely shouldn’t have to consult with her first.

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You’re 21 and don’t have to consult with anyone before doing anything.

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She’s obviously having a very hard time coping with not being able to have anymore children which is a very sensitive subject for some people. I would prolly take a hard look into this “friendship” cause imo she won’t be there for you at all if u have another baby

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Yes , be pissed the hell off . That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard in my whole life . We can’t talk if you have another baby before me ??? S E L F I S H

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She is very childish, she actually sounds mentally disturbed. Nobody’s business but yours, you are not obligated to tell anyone.
Move on and don’t look back or she will try to manipulate you forever.

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Obviously she wasn’t a tru friend to begin with.

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I’ve been in her shoes. Just let her work through it.

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Let her go. You don’t need those kinds of “friendships” around.

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Honestly its none of her business what you do in your relationship and honestly you didn’t even need to tell her. She sounds very selfish and jealous. Sounds like someone I would distance myself from.

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I mean, I kinda get her side. If she’s struggling to conceive it could upset her seeing and hearing you talk and grow. But. She can’t dictate when you decide to get pregnant. What does she expect to do when or if her other friends get pregnant? She just gonna quit talking to everybody she knows and avoid every pregnant woman? Personally, my fertility, my birth control, my uterus, is all my business. I’d never discuss any of that with any of my friends :woman_shrugging:t2: it seems like she’s jealous of the potential baby you may be having and if she is, she isn’t your friend.

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Girl time to drop that toxic ass friend.

This sounds like some lifetime movie shit :flushed:

Jealousy at its finest.

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Thats on her. Not your problem she doesn’t deal with her emotions like she should.

A True Friend Would Be Happy For You Regardless! In My Opinion, This Person is Toxic! And, Maybe a Bit Crazy! You and Your Family are Better Off!!

She’s selfish and you dont need her approval for anything that concerns your body!

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I’m sorry but what kind of friendship do you have to where you have to consult with her about your own birth control? That’s just insane. Cut it off.

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She sounds like she’s jealous of you and your plans. I dont think that’s your friend lol

Is she ok? She is just weird! It’s none of her business!!!

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She’s not a friend and you don’t need her in your life if that’s how shes gonna act!

She needs to learn how to mind her own business that’s crazy the heck how old are you guys three The baby is not a game and it’s nobody’s business but yours and your husbands to have another child tell her to grow up

She was never your friend… That is your personal business and you don’t owe her any explanation :bangbang::bangbang:

This is a really weird ultimatum considering you already have a child. It sounds like you’re saying that she’s told you that if you get pregnant and she isn’t, she can’t talk to you anymore? That’s really weird. This is not a normal thing to tell someone.

Wtf?? That doesnt sound like much of a friend?? You had no obligation to tell her anything and its really narcissistic of her to make you feel guilty over something thay has nothing to do with her. Dont let her negative energy dampen the excitement over expanding your family.

Sounds to me like she tries to use yalls friendship as a pawn in yalls relationship

You’re not losing a friend. That’s not what friends do.

None of this is her business … people only react this way when they are jealous or afraid you will get pregnant first. Very toxic

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That’s absolutely none of her buisness. It sounds like you’re better off without her…

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That is literally so childish wow

That doesn’t sound like a friend to me. I don’t really understand what she’s even talking about. Why couldn’t you talk if you got pregnant? You already have a kid so it’s not like you don’t know what it will be like. Unless because she can’t have another she doesn’t want anything to do with you if your pregnant. Which if so she was never your friend to begin with.

That’s Crazy!! Shenis over stepping her boundaries…BIG TIME!! You did NOTHING WRONG!!:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

She sounds jealous and controlling! I don’t believe you should trust her!

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What. I’m confused. Why does it matter? It’s none of her F-in business.

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Your body. Your rules/decisions.

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Shss being bitter it sounds like. I wouldn’t stress it. She’ll either get over it and be happy for you, or she won’t. And in that case that shows her character, nothing to do with you and your family planning decision.

She’s a weirdo! It had nothing to do with her and her actions/ behavior are nuts!

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It’s not her buiness, it’s not her life. It’s your own LIFE!!

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I’m not sure why it’s any of her business to begin with.

Well she doesn’t sound like a true friend at all. Not even her business, at all.

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Let her go, she’s not a true friend.

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She sounds like a dumb bitch and your not losing a friend. You don’t need to discuss anything with Her. That’s shit you discuss with your partner. Period.

That’s not healthy and she’s not a friend. Better off to not subject yourself to that drama anyway.

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She sounds like a toxic relationship to have. Why is she upset about your life choices and what you do with YOUR body?? It’s none of her business what you do. She sounds jealous of you.

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She sounds pretty immature

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This woman is plum nuts. You’re not losing a friendship. You’re losing a controlling psychopath. Let the trash take itself out.

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Fuck her :raised_hands:t2::v:t2: shes no friend

Lol :woman_facepalming:t2::woman_shrugging:t2: idk what to say…this is an odd post.

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That is so bloody immature. Toxic friendship. I’d distance myself ASAP.

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This some weird shit… if you don’t cut this toxic crazy lady off? How is your body her business? Your family? Wtf. Is she providing for you financially?? Paying your bills? Putting food on your table? Cut her tf off.

Woooow. You have no reason to have told her first. Sounds like she is super jealous of you and controlling. Why wouldn’t you be able to talk to her if you get pregnant?

She sounds cray cray

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Shes not your partner therefore has no business acting like that. Let her go.

Omg screw her!! That is NOT a friend!

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Girl!!! This woman sounds like she is jealous. Displaying toxic and unhealthy behaviors towards you. I would call her on it and assert that boundary and then let the cards fall where they may. She needs some help figuring out her own business and that’s gotta be her choice. You have the choice to not let her affect you. Move on and live your beautiful life. Best of luck to you on your journey!! :heart:

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“Aunty” needs to grow the hell up. If she’s old enough to be considered an aunt to you, she is well old enough to know that she is being childish and immature.

She’s not your friend…

Why do you need to consult her BEFORE?
I’d probably bring it up later too like oh yeah we’re trying or I’m pregnant to my friends. Actually they didn’t even know I was trying I just sent them my positive pregnancy test :woman_shrugging:t2:
I don’t think that’s anyone’s business. As for the rest of my family, they found out at Christmas when o was 15 weeks lol

Shes being childish. The fact she said she wouldn’t talk to you if you got a pregnant is ridiculous. She’s toxic!!

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Yeq shes not your friend and you don’t need to consult or ask permission about your body you did nothing wrong sounds like friend is jealous and wants to have some kind of power over you drop her it will suck but she sounds toxic

WTH. That’s just messed up. Why is it anything to her about your choices regarding your family anyways?

Its your body and its you and your partners choice to decide to try and have another baby. Its not her body. Why do you need her permission to get rid of something in YOUR body?
Would you ask her for permission if it was time to have the IUD removed?
Your body.

Wow! I would rethink being friends with this chick if I were you.

She was never your friend/aunt to begin with. Her relationship with her is simple a convenience/an advantage for her. Now that you would be “above her” (by having a second before her is her mindset probably) then you’re shit cause she’s at a disadvantage. I would drop her.

She sounds selfish and controlling …and definitely not the kind a friend someone needs in their life

She is straight jealous and acting immature. She would be happy (no matter what) for you if she was a real friend. People always end up showing you their true colors eventually. Cut the ties on this one…snip snip​:scissors::scissors:

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Unless she in your bedroom her opinion don’t matter and if she your friend she’ll be happy for you if you’d get pregnant even if she can’t

Yikes. Sounds like you’re dodging a bullet. :woozy_face:

That’s not a friend. That’s a manipulative long term relationship with someone who claims to be a friend. A real friend would be happy and supportive of you, even if it makes them feel a little sad about themselves too.

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She was never your friend

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Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa… ummmm… she’s not a friend.

She’s trying to control u

Walk away and don’t look back. If she is gonna act like that you don’t need her in your life. That is toxic as hell

Not someone you want in your life :woman_shrugging:t2:

Wait what? Are we getting the full story on this because she sounds a little nuts

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She has issues that are not your responsibility. You were kind enough to let her know that you are trying again but you didn’t have to. The situation is so sensitive because of her struggle, I get that but she needs to see passed it and making it your problem. If she cannot move passed thinking everyone is trying to get pregnant on purpose to spite her or are not being sensitive to her situation by trying when she’s currently struggling with trying then it’s her loss. She will isolate herself and maybe come back and come to her senses later and then you can decide if you want her back in your life but no, you are not wrong for being angry and hurt.

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That’s controlling :sob:

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Jealousy is the root of all evil.

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Tell her to join RESOLVE to deal with infertility. Then back away a bit. Sounds like your friend needs therapy because she is a little crazy.

BTW, good luck to you!

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It’s your body & this is between you & your boyfriend/SO/husband. Not her.

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Girl goodbye! U dont have to tell her nothing. Shes jealous u got pregnant first

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She sounds more like a jealous control freak than a friend. You deserve better.

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she is jealous and needs to grow up for get about her she isnt worth it

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She’s not much of a friend in my book it’s none of her business period n honestly she’s lucky u even told her she sounds very controlling n insecure n u really shouldn’t have those types of “friends” in your life in my opinion

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Uh this sounds absolutely ridiculous. How is you having a second baby ANY of her business? Why would she think she should be part of that decision? I don’t care how long she’s known you… it’s your life and your decision. This is just crazy to me

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She is taking out her frustration with not conceiving on you. Address the elephant in the room. It isnt about you trying its about her feelings of failure/inability or inadequacy with conceiving. Even if she just started trying our fear of failure can make us react this way

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This lady sounds like a crazy and controlling “friend”

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I sit here thinking fukin hell people are out here dying and your mates bothered you didn’t tell her you got your IUD taken out sh*t I think you need to find yourself a new

friendship is about being there for the ones you care for no matter what even if you don’t agree with it you want a ride to die friend not someone who’s going to half ass it especially when it comes to something you should be happy about

She sounds toxic af!! I had problems conceiving my daughter and never once was upset with a friend or family member who would get pregnant, it’s THEIR journey. Now I do get jealous because I can’t have anymore kids but I would NEVER say something like that or make someone less journey less exciting! Leave her on the past and love forward!!!

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So it sounds like she is taking her frustrations out on you for her not being able to conceive. That’s something you need to address with her and that she needs to take care of within herself. I know how difficult it can be when trying to have a baby and not being successful, but she needs to deal with that in therapy and with her specialists (fertility doctors) otherwise she is just going to keep being miserable and feeling angry at anyone around her who gets pregnant or decides to grow their family. It’s not a good way to live (I was so upset everytime someone around me got pregnant or had a baby, and therapy coupled with specialists did indeed help me deal with those issues and have children!) definitely approach it in a gentle but stern way. She needs support and to get help dealing with things so that she will be happy and not lose friends and family over this. She is allowed to feel the way she does, but she has no right to take things out on others.

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She sounds extremely manipulative and borderline narcissistic honestly I would cut all ties

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You do not need to tell anyone what your doing in your relationship unless you want, if they get mad their loss not yours

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She’s toxic. Cut her out.

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She’s got something going on clinically. Your reproductive decisions are none of her business.

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Get rid of the friend she sounds like she needs severe mental help

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She don’t sound like a real friend sweetie.

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This is the most insane thing I ever read. It’s not her decision lmao why is she mad you want another baby?

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