My friends ex is trying to get custody of her child: Advice?

My friend wanted me to send this in for her. She’s scared about her daughter getting taken away and doesn’t know what to do. And please don’t judge her. She’s having a hard enough time as is she doesn’t need the hate. Here’s her problem: I have a situation with the father of my child, he is planning on getting custody of our child and going back to his ex. I’m really not sure where to start. With the affair, he cheated on his wife with me; he was with his wife the whole time after telling me they were separated. But by the time I found out they were still involved, I was pregnant. He tried abandoning us whenever I got pregnant with our daughter, with full intentions of moving his wife and his kids to another state and abandoning us altogether. Then he comes back and claims he loves me and wants to be with me, and I agree for our child’s sake. Only for him to lose interest in me not even a year and a half later, and now he is saying he is going to get custody of our daughter and go to his mothers, who he hasn’t even talked to in years and has only seen once in that time, and has never mentioned our daughter to her. He has been sneaking over to his wife’s house the entire time he has lived with me and claimed they were through. I am terrified because he and his wife have both told me they wish it was the wife that got pregnant instead. I’m scared they are going to take my baby from me. I am ten years younger than them; they have a house, a car, two kids. The wife is a well-known daycare worker. I live in an apartment; I stay at home with the baby, he pays all the bills, I can’t even drive yet. I need advice; I am really not sure where to go from here. He has already claimed he has talked to a lawyer.

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Its not her child. It’s their child together number one. Number two I don’t feel bad for a homewrecker. And what do you mean you can’t even drive yet? If you’re a minor then throw his ass in jail. If you’re not a minor, get off your ass and get a job and a license. He can’t just take the child. My best advice is go to the courthouse and file for custody before he does. Then document everything about his and her behaviors. Past and present. Keep texts and whatever else as evidence.

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Just cause they have money does not mean they automatically get the child. You may just have to do joint custody. Unless you are unfit normally court does not take a child away from a parent even if the other parent has millions of dollars. Money does not make a good parent. Look into a lawyer tho see what your options are

They have to prove you an unfit mother before any of the “taking away a child” can happen regardless if he pays all your bills or none of your bills.

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Is his name on the birth certificate??? If not take your child and run

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Sounds like he is just threatening her. Judges dont want to take a child from their mother especially for no reason. They’re supposed to go for the best interest of the child and so should you (as a mother)

Try not to stress it so much. He won’t be taking your child from u

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Go get you an attorney start the process as most work on payment plans after the initial consultation. Your priority is only yourself and your child at this point. Get an attorney that specializes in divorce. Good luck. Other than supervised visitation sever all ties with soon to be ex.

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You’re so worried about him taking the Child then you should file for custody. Everyone talks about it but never does it

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They wanted a child and used you

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sounds like hes a bully… my ex was and he lost custody of 4 of our kids… he thought he could take the kids of me too… but he was with hes bit on the side and i was the wife. no court in the land will take the kids of the mom if she is looking after the child unless your unfit mother …ie alcoholic, drug user… and putting her own needs before the kid

They need you have you deemed unfit to remove the child from your care. Start a case with a worker at your state assistance office and go after him for child support. Get yourself set up before he pulls the plug on your funds. You need to start somewhere, and baby steps are better than no steps.

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First thing you need to do is get independent. You are at his mercy with him paying the bills…Let this be a lesson never date a married man. If he dont have divorce papers in hand RUN dont walk away. Not to mention how they treat one woman is how they will treat you. He cant take your baby unless you are declared unfit. All he can do is get visits.

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Stay away from married men. Separated is still married. Unless she is unfit, she shouldn’t have an issue. Have her file first

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Go back to your parents get a job a car and fight for your daughter. Or go where he dont know.

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If you are in Nigeria go to FIDA

He is trying to scare her, just stand up. Show him you are not scared.

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First off, he ain’t shit. And they ain’t gonna take your baby away. You need to file a parenting plan ASAP and apply for child support if applicable. He’s just trying to scare you. Don’t let him do that, it’s called intimidation. Document it all and then go to court. You’ll be fine.

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They aren’t going to take your baby. He can talk a big game and it IS stressful. But you’re the mom. Unless you’re unfit, you’re good.

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If I were you, DO NOT LET HIM WITH THE BABY ALONE. Without a court order he can legally take the baby and the cops will do nothing about it. Get away from him and go somewhere else until you can file child support. Please believe me- I’ve just went through this nightmare. I know you want to stay private but if you need details or more input on anything please feel free to contact me.

Honestly with the way that he cheated I highly doubt it but don’t let him take the kid and if there’s no Parenting Agreement because you’re screwed he doesn’t have to return your daughter. Call Legal Aid and enroll in school so you can get the student loan money back every semester which should be like 4 grand and you can be okay

You can probably get legal aid get on it. Get him out of ur house asap. And get at least a part time job.

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For one, your the mother. Mothers have more rights then the fathers and that’s the way it usually goes. It doesn’t matter if he is paying the bills, he should anyhow. You need to be self sufficient first off. Either way, the father who has provided has his rights. The best advice is to work out a plan of having the child fifty percent. You get half he gets half. It doesn’t matter if he was married or isn’t. It’s always comes down to if you both are willing, for the child’s sake to co parent. The courts look at that. He cannot take your child from you. Go do what you need to do to better yourself so you can teach your child to be self assured as well as yourself…stay strong and do anything you can do to better yourself…

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Very hard to take custody away from a mother unless there’s real proof of neglect. I say cut his as off completely. Sounds like he’s emotional abusive and trying to mess with her head. I’d cut off all contact. Change phone numbers and even move if she can.

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He can’t just get custody of your child unless you’ve done something wrong.

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Call legal aid and speak with an attorney, in your state.

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Cant kick u out if u on the lease try to have him taken off lease if one and work with ur family to babysit while u work and if he not on the birth certificate he dont have no rights really plus he married interesting go after him fir child support and yup go for full custody where u have all say

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He can say all he wants as far as he is getting custody. Fortunately for you it’s just him running at the mouth. It’s not up to him it’s up to court. As long as you arent unfit(neglectful, abusive) they wont take your child away. It doesnt matter what his wife does. It’s not her child. It doesnt matter their and your money situation. Children are well taken care of in poor and rich homes. I would advise you to contact the state to see where you can go to get on your feet though. They will help you with getting your license a car a job and housing. Get an attorney. Call the court house and see what they advise for low income and if any attorneys are known to do pro bono. Call each and every attorney to see if they do pro bono. Most attorneys will meet for a free consult. A tip…the more attorneys you talk to the less he has available to him. Once they hear your story it’s a conflict of interest for them to take him as their client.

Go to your local courthouse and file parental rights paperwork. Also, get a job and start paying your own bills. Dont let a man have that much control over you, EVER. You can do this! The guy is a cheater and hes emotionally abusive and manipulative. Next time stay away from the married men.

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He can’t just take your child!!! Talk to a legal aid lawyer!!! They will help you!!!

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He’s just trying to scare you. Set up child care and start getting your ass to work, even if it is part time. They’re not taking baby away unless you’re unfit. Don’t do drugs or drink or post stupid Facebook crap. It makes you look bad in court. Let him talk to whoever. He’s gonna waste money. Get it in your head that he has rights to the baby. He can get visitation. If baby mama(wife) threatens you file a restraining order. That way your baby can’t be over at their house. Never mess with married men. Now you know. Try to get help on your own like low income housing and free daycare. Goodluck and fight if need be. Wife is mad he hooked up with you and you’re much younger. She’s trying to scare and manipulate you.

Move to a place that he wont have control, like parents or friends, get a job, there are assistance out there that help you with the cost of daycare, And go to a child support/custody place. File, before he actually does it. Right now it can all be talk. My ex pulled the Same with my boys. Depending on were you live they will see that you are making a effort to become independent and may only allow him custody, which would be visitations, if you are afraid of him running with the child (kidnap) depending on court order then let the judge know.
Get him for child support, they will require a dna test.
Most states will only take the child from the mother if it is proven that the mother is unfit.
I hope this works out for you.

Get the fuck out!! Move home to family and don’t look back.

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See if there is a agency Mid Penn legal or something where u can get a free lawyer go for a pastime job if able n apply for a section 8 housing your rent will be cheap u don’t need a car or license to raise a baby.Sometimes you just need to show the judge u can provide go immediately for child support to help with money for now n keep child support going thru domestic relation place n it’s free to get child support

It sounds like he’s a douche and wants his wife and girlfriend

The court cannot just take your kid. At best he will get weekends.

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First get a job, second hire an attorney, third drag his ass threw the mud!

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Unless you’ve killed someone he has a less than 1% chance of custody. Remember one thing. He was unfaithful to his wife which means they didn’t, and if he’s going back to her don’t have a stable environment for a child to grow up in. You need to use that in court.

An remember this… judges don’t take kids away from their mom’s.

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He’s married, conceived a child out of wedlock. That’s a big moral deficiency there. Unless your unfit, I’d say the facts speak for themselves. He’s morally unfit to raise a child and most wives don’t want to raise a child their husband conceived with another woman while married to them.
It would be constant reminder of his infidelity and could place the child at risk of emotional abuse.

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Do it the ‘right’ way from the beginning love, and get some free legal advice.
You’ll then at least know where you stand and where to go too from there, instead of having the added/extra worry and stress of the ‘unknown’…
Wishing you the best of luck, as these situations can be heart wrenching… xx :crossed_fingers::pray::purple_heart:

You are justified to be afraid. It’s not about you, him or his wife. From the courts perspective it’s about who can provide the child the best environment. Do whatever you have to do to get an attorney. Anything and everything you do or say will be used against you in court. Only communicate with him, her or anyone for the child and through email or text so you have a record. Do NOT prohibit his visits with your child while going through the court process. File first if you can, it holds weight. Always put your child needs above yours on paper and off. Get an attorney!

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It’ll be a long road if he tries, I tell you that. He has to prove that you are an unfit mother i.e drug addict, prostitution, child abandonment, child neglect. You two aren’t married so the law will favor you. Get a job, an order of protection if needed and start caring for yourself and your baby.

The “can’t even drive yet” part really concerns me. I hope whoever is having this issue is of legal age.

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LEGAL AID …for those with little or no income…he has to prove he’s the father (get him to do a DNA test) and they don’t just walk in and take a child unless there are grounds of abuse or neglect. If she’s doing for her child, she’s safe. Is this girl of legal age since she doesn’t drive? I’d say he has bigger issues with an underage gf and I hope she sees this guy for the scum he is. He’s a user and getting her pregnant might have been the reason all along…get her to give up the baby.

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First off? Who can you get help from? You need a stable place that’s safe for you and your daughter? 2nd? No one can take your baby unless your unfit parent? However, when you get county assistance like cash aid, Food stamps etc your forced to open a child support case…Were he can have the baby for a few hours or have her for the weekend. If his paying he has the rights. What you can do is keep record if him or his wife are threatening you or harassing you in anyway? You can take them to court and try to get full custody of your daughter…My best to you in life

No state will take custody away from a perfectly good mother for no reason most courts will maybe do 50/50 custody and placement however he himself seems heavily unstable and i highly recommend you bring light to that in court he cant decide who he wants to be with or where he wants to stay which is not a stable environment for a child also fuck what his ex does or ha SHE DIDN’T CARRY OR BIRTH THAT CHILD SHE HAS NO LEGAL RIGHT OR SAY she cant do anything. Period. On fact she should be on your side and trying to keep her own kids from him this man is insane. I suggest contacting support systems for single mothers in your area i dont know what state you live in but here we have the w2 program which helps mothers with gas vouchers fimding child care work (my friend took online classes 20 hrs a week and got her w2 check for that) theres gotta be something similar in your state

He lied, some do. Your turn, it back on :fire:him. Give him what he’s use to, but for your good. Make documentation. Hang in there baby, oh pray, and keep praying, amen…

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Sounds like he has grounds for it. You clearly are unstable. You live in his house paid by him he pays for everything. You have no way to support yourself or the child. He is the exact opposite. Any judge would look at who can provide for the kid and clearly you cant.

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Doesnt sound like there is a basis to take ur baby. You may have less material stuff than them but that shldnt sway the decision. Doesnt sound like he has even paid child support. However, Im not very knowledgeable on the custody subject.

Ohhh I wish I could actually really talk to you…
I went through that. To make a long story short…
He is rich. I live in a very small apt. He actually took him and refused to give him back during a visit.
I got my son back he’s with me see my profile pic :slight_smile:
I won. I got him.
Unless you do heavy drug or completely unfit. You will win too but mark my words stay away from him don’t every take him back and don’t try to work things out. He will always try. Don’t let him.

Get a job and fight for your kids. Show judge you are a fit mother and are capable of caring for your child.don’t continue taking him back no matter what story he tries to sell you.

she needs to show she is a capable mom, a place, a job, a daycare, keep advising her to be on top or her emotions. if the dad has not been i. the pic much i doubt he will get full custody, she can request for visitation from the dad and for Dad to give her at least one month notice if he is taking the child for christmas or summer vacations.

She has to also clearly put in there he is not allowed to take the child to another state without her permission.

From experience if she hasn’t got the lawyer document indicating he wants full custody … she is worrying too much and causing herself unnecessary stress for something uncertain.

if he is eligible to any custody is 50/50 or visitation, let your friend agree on this or will look bad on HER and if he starts missing time with the kid , she is to document it somewhere or sent him a simple email after the fact saying… “ i’m sorry you kissed your date today with your daughter , let me know when u want to see her next” so at least you try but he is the one that didn’t.
and please, please ask your friend to communicate with this Dad only through email from no on so she has a written track for her to use in court, does your fiend have a parental agreement made through court? I believe the answer is not, and he is trying to cut the amount he has to pay for child support.

She can also go to a lawyer and ask what are the chances of him getting full custody, some legal aid offices have lawyers for low income families, she has to start doing her research and working on this.

It’s gonna be hard for him to pay for a lawyer and child support , so start saving $$ for her to provide for her child as he might cut any child support if he is paying directly to her the $$. He might stop paying for him to be able to get a lawyer.

He is trying to make things more dramatic than what they have to be and only to make mom loose her mind so she is more fragile when taken into court.

Tell her to worry about facts and to avoid any sort of communication with this guy unless is through email.

He is just trying to push her buttons, tell her to build her life so she can show the judges she is a capable mom and if she keeps 50/50 custody she can wait a bit ( months down the road ) and see if dad is committed enough with his agreement, but if he is not, she can move to full custody due to lack of the dad being present.

Sounds like he is very manipulative. She needs to document everything. Advice from a good lawyer is free first visit.

Take his ass for child support sorry ass man make better choices next time. No married mfs rule #1

Girl let him do all the talking he wants. He can not take your child been there done that. He would have to prove you unfit and a bad mom. Judges dont rule for someone just because they have a lawyer. Nor do they rule that one parent will have sole custody unless you are unfit or a bad mom. Please calm down a little. Let him threaten you all he wants. Make sure you document everything he says and does to you. Prayers are with you

Get some help with babysitting and find a job as quickly as you can. It’s hard but also try to get your driver’s license and a vehicle of your own. So that way, at court, the judge can see that you’re doing your best to be the working single mother. Do it now. Don’t wait.

Judges don’t take kids away from moms unless he can prove you are unfit or a danger to your child. Most likely your ex will get weekends or every other weekend.

Wait, she can’t drive yet, how old is she? If she’s less than 18 Not only will he not get custody but he will to jail. As long as the mother is being a good mother no one will take her child. Most states give mother’s custody automatically. If she can prove his instability he may not even get visitation.

pretty sure he is all talk. He is gas lighting you. As long as you are a good mom he cannot take your child from you. Dont believe what he says. He is a manipulator !!

Unless you are abusive or on drugs, no one is taking your baby from you. Yes he can get some kind of custody, but he cannot take your baby away from you.

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He can’t take the baby based on just that. Get a job , move to a family members home. He had the affair not you. That will just look bad on him

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They cant just come in and take the baby. Unless you’re a neglectful parent. You have a place to live, I’d suggest getting a job. Finding resources to help with child care costs. You should qualify as a single mother with no income. Try and get some child support as well. The courts can set up a visitation order and child support. Good luck.

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Just because you are a stay at home mum means nothing. Go talk to a family legal aid case worker. They will not remove a child from the birth mum without a reason (example: abuse, drugs/alcohol or abuse).

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He is a pathological liar clearly. Be strong…research ur state laws. If u can prove he is harmful, pathological, mentally unstable, u have a chance…have faith and strength in urself!!! I have met gullible men and a lot of scared women. Fight for ur child, save ALL communication and do not let him bully u!

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You had an affair with a married man and this is one of the hazards of that decision.
He lied to his wife about you, why would you think he would tell you the truth about anything?
I’m sure there’s a lot more to this story but I have to say, you can’t even drive yet? How old are you?!?!?!

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Lol i love how men threaten women qhen they cant even take care of their own household. Listen… This goes for all ladies. DONT EVER LET A POS MAN TELL YOU THAT HELL HAVE UR CHILD TAKEN. UNLESS YOU ARE AN ALCOHOLIC A DRUG ADDICT OR ABUSE THE CHILD…M YOU WILL NOT GWT YOUR CHILD TAKEN AWAY… he is def scaring you because you are younger. As long as ur child is safe and u have a place to sleep and the baby is in no harm. You have some type of financial income. He CAN NOT take the baby. Put his dumb ass on child support. And you do what you have to for you and your baby. And i will say this… FUCK HIM AND HIS WIFE… Because now she sees you as a threat and is def in with him on fucking with you for pleasure. Trust me… You will be fine!!! File for full custody. And watch him get shook.

Get a free consultation from a lawyer. Idk what state ur in but im positive they cannot take ur baby without probably cause. Save all the texts and everything u can

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This just sounds like emotional duress to me and manipulative behavior by him. Honestly take your self down to friend of the court asap and make sure you explain to them the situation and how you would like to be able to prevent this from happening. Tell them how he had already attempted abandonment and has been no to have infidelity in the past that has caused great mental strain and stress on you. To which you want to be able to protect yourself and your child. He cant take the baby from you unless your incapable of providing a safe environment for your child, are an alcoholic or drug abuser. So do not worry.

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They can’t just take the baby. You guys get A visitation schedule and that’s that. He deserves 50/50 unless abusive etc but he can’t get full. Deep breath and just stay focused on you :pray:t3:

He can’t take the child away from you fully. At best he can get joint custody. At worst he will get supervised visitation. Who ever gets the best lawyer wins! Be smart and find the best.

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You wont loose your baby . Dont use drugs ,dont drink , get yourself a child to watch to earn money and stay at home too. Good luck ,dont worry .

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Ha!! They have no chance. Just as long as you are not endangering the baby in any way… you will be fine. However, do not let him take the baby anywhere. Do not fall for his bullshit.

He is a sociopath.

Please call a local domestic violence agency and tell them you need help with resources and also tell them your situation. They will tell you exactly where you need to go and help you plan on what to do.

You are fine. You’re the baby’s mother… do not let them manipulate you… ever. Stand your ground and defend your baby and yourself.

He’s trying to intimidate you. Unless you’ve been served with papers, his words mean nothing. I would start to prepare for life without him including getting a job and childcare. I would only communicate with him via text or email so there is always documentation.

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Oh and def apply for cash assistance and foodstamps. Because that is considered income for now until you get a job. And when child support comes… Makes sure you state in the papers you file… That you want him to pay for medical insurance. And daycare… And find out if ur state will make HIS WIFE pay child support. Because in my state… Thats the way it works. Give them a taste of reality!! dont let them fuck with you!!

Time to adult up and start doing for you and your child on your own!!

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They can only get if they prove U an unfit mother , tell yr friend to start doing things for herself and stop taking anything from him and to move forward for her and baby

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Um yikes … Side dish drama … why would you do that to another woman after knowing hes married… crappy deal but what makes me you more special than his WIFE ?

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Where did you live or who did you live with before you lived with him? Go back home with your parents if you need to. He cannot take the baby away unless your neglectful. Having no job won’t work against you unless your going to be on the streets without him? It shows that you have been and are the primary care taker of the child. Courts will give your primary custody over him because of this.

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He cannot take your child without a good reason and you being young and a sahm isn’t one of them. You need to reach out to your family and get some help. You say you can’t drive how old are you? If you’re 16, 17 and he’s 10 years older his a child predator. He didn’t tell his mom about the baby bc your a baby yourself and he took advantage of you. Please call the public aid office in your area so you can get some legal advice.

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The wife is probably furious that not only did he have an affair but he got you pregnant and is know paying ALL of your bills. Go to school get on aid do what ever you have to do to get off that dependency for him. He’s obviously not going to help you out. And the fact that you’re not even old enough to drive is worrying…

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  1. Speak to a lawyer.
  2. Become financially self-sufficient.
  3. Speak to a lawyer.
    4.Protect any evidence you have of his infidelity and dishonesty.
  4. SPEAK TO A LAWYER.

If this can’t be settled outside court, then lawyer up.

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Just because he was/is a bad husband/significant other doesn’t mean he is/will be a bad father. The child is half of him, he should get 50% custody. Go to a mediator and write out a plan before the baby is born about who get the child on what day/weeks/holidays so it is all in writing. You made the child together, your are going to have to coparent like adults.

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Unless there a circumstances proving you are unfit, he cannot just take your baby from you.

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I’m going to be real, shes probably looking at 50/50 custody. Dudes a dick but he is a stable person he is going to most likely get half custody.

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They’re full of shit & clearly deserve each other. Stop talking to either of them. Change your phone number. He has no rights to your baby at this point. I have no legal advice, except to stop talking to them! You have no legal obligation to speak to them. Given the info, your child is at least 1 & he hasn’t taken you to court yet. They’re just trying to scare you. They can’t take your baby. Stop :clap:t3: talking :clap:t3: to :clap:t3: them :clap:t3:

You can’t lose custody unless proven unfit.

Honestly get a job and grow up be a mom and go on. They eont just take the baby. And he had affair on his wife. This is a bad situation mama . do what tou need to do… Do you babe any family. And lawyer up

Get yourself an education, job, car and drivers license. Even working the cash register at a grocery store pays the bills and shows self sufficiency. Being self sufficient and taking care of the both of you, he has nothing on you. Don’t sweat it, just make yourself better. My ex tries the whole he will take my boys when he gets pissy. Yes, he’s remarried and she works part time to take care of the home. No kids between them. The judge will look at a self supporting mom and the dad. Not his current bed buddy. She doesn’t matter when speaking about your baby. Her wages, job, popularity…nothing. As long as she’s not doing drugs and anything Illegal, eyes are off of her.

He cannot just take your child. He does have rights though as the father but you as a mother have rights. They would have to have evidence that proves you as an unfit mother. You need to meet with a lawyer asap before he does.

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This man sounds like my ex bf. He used to say he talked to a lawyer already and he knows for a fact hes getting custody. And you know what I flipped it in him cause that manipulation. So I waited he screwed up and I took his rights away got sole custody. I meet a wonderful man and my now husband adopted my daughter a few years ago best decision is to talk to a lawyer or legal aid. They cannot take your child away unless there is abuse, drug or alcohol involved. The judge looks at the connection and mental status of the child and both parents as well. Talk to a lawyer most of them are free consultations.

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So he had an affair with you and just to put it out there, separated is not divorced sweetie. So shame on you and shame on him as well. Unless you see some signed done deal divorce papers…married is married. You shouldn’t be surprised if he was cheating on his wife with you. On another note they aren’t going to just take a child away from you without probable cause you’re not fit to take care of the child. Go to child support office and they will help you start a motion for child support and shared custody. You need to start looking out for you and that innocent child being brought into this mess.

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Wow. As others have said…he cannot take your baby unless you are an unfit mother.
You are being mentally abused. He has beaten you down mentally.
HEAR THIS! You will be fine. Just need to take some steps.
#1 get a lawyer
#2 tell him you’ve got a lawyer (but not until you actually do)
#3 listen to every single word the lawyer tells you & follow directions
#4 tell your Dr, your family, your friends, POLICE if you feel afraid, anyone who cares about you… Everything that is going on
#5 keep a journal … Write everything down!
#6 DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM
DON’T LET HIM BRING YOU DOWN
DON’T BELIEVE HIM…HE CANNOT TAKE YOUR BABY AWAY
#7 read number 6 over & over & over…

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Why can’t you drive yet? Do you just not have a license or are you to young

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Other than the fact his wife is a moron- I don’t know where to start. Go to a dv shelter- this is emotional abuse if anything.make a break

So you got with a married man and don’t think you deserve to be bashed? Lol

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You’ll have to co-parent with them
You’ll have to get a job
And get on assistance from the state if you need extra help
Put in your child support order
And be done with them

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So karma came back and bit you in the ass… sounds pretty fair to me! Well they can’t just take the kid from you they have to build a case and prove you’re unfit. So make yourself look like a fit parent and stable enough to care for the kid and you won’t have any problems. Probably have to have a custody arrangement with the dad though since he sounds intent on being involved.

My ex tried to pull this. Go to a lawyer. Most give a free consult. Mine told me that judges do not take away children from their mothers just because the father says so :woman_shrugging: it’s a scare tactic and it only works if you let it

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Also none of these are reasons for you to lose custody.

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I’m confused, is she pregnant with his baby? Or has the baby been born? Idk about where ya’ll are, but in Arkansas, if they aren’t or weren’t married at the time of birth, he has NO PARENTAL RIGHTS! Doesn’t matter if he’s on birth certificate or not. It’s a “mother’s state”. He will have to prove paternity and then go to court for visitation rights. If this is the case, get a job asap after child is born and become self supportive. It could take him a year or longer to prove paternity and go to court depending on his financial situation. DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO to provide for you and your child. Even if it’s with govt assistance and/ or living with family. Do not however, get with someone else and move in with him. This will look bad in court. And even tho it’s his ex wife whom he has children with, it will look bad on him if that’s where he goes. If he gets half custody, have it documented in court that neither of you are to have (or be) over night guests in child presence. Best of luck

Wow. There’s a lot of sanctimommy going on in these comments. She needs to contact legal aide since she likely cannot afford a lawyer. Next, she needs to get some kind of income. Since she doesn’t have any at the moment, she’s likely eligible for state assistance for childcare. No judge will take custody away from her, but the father will get half custody too even if he is a cheat and liar. Legal aide can help her set up a parenting plan and tell her how to ask for child support. Best of luck to her.

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