My friends ex is trying to get custody of her child: Advice?

Get an attorney immediately!!!

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Get your license asap! And legal aid! They could use that against you. Get a job and find child care. The most he will get is joint custody. He will not get full.

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Okay so this post is about my friend. First of all some of you are being very rude to a woman you have no clue about. She has been through a lot so hating on her is making it worse. I’m gonna try to answer as many questions about it as I can.

  1. She is 23 years old and never had the support to go through with the drivers test before.
  2. She cant just “get a job” where she lives because she lives in a very small town and everyone knows who she is and what has happened so they are refusing to hire her and saying shes “not what they need”
  3. She didnt find out about the wife until 1.5 years into the relationship!
  4. He claimed they were in the divorce process for about half a year after she found out he was married
  5. He lives with her and is on all her bills and state support
  6. He is on the birth certificate as far as I know but the baby does not have his last name
  7. She will never go anywhere without her daughter so there’s no way he could randomly take the daughter without her knowing.

If there are any more questions I will try to answer to the best of my ability

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Who’s laughing at this? Doesn’t matter the reason or the situation. Feeling like someone, anyone, could legally take your child away from you is the most terrifying feeling ever. If you haven’t had to be in a situation like that then THANK GOD.

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First you need to get a job and show that you are able to provide for your child. Get a lawyer. As long as there isn’t any reason for you to lose your child then most judges try to keep the baby with the mother. I’m not saying he won’t get visitation because more then likely he will and by the post I’m not sure if you are of age or not, if not then he will be in trouble.

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Unless you are an unfit mother or you’re child is in danger with you, there is no way a judge will give him full custody, maybe 50/50 but he can not take your child out os spite. My opinion is get a job, get stable get a lawyer and when you go to court if you do he won’t have anything against you…good luck.

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You can’t even drive yet… Are you a minor?

Unless he can prove she is unfit. There aren’t just going to take the baby away just because he says he wants her. Can she stay with you temporarily? Maybe help her out a bit?

U should have known better than to date a married man What goes around come s around. Do unto others as u want them to do to U.

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It makes me so sad to read some of the hateful comments on this thread, wow learn to not judge others no human is perfect. With that said, most judges like to look at the the best interest of the child which would be having both parents involved with the child. 50/50 custody or something of that matter I don’t see her loosing custody unless she is unfit to be a mother. Also have her document everything including any kind of harassment that is taking place, both parents have to co-parent peacefully for the best interest of the child that is what judges look at whom has the maturity to rise above and put the child first along with whom has a stable house hold. The fact that she can’t drive doesn’t matter with lyft ubber and the city bus a license isn’t needed.

Go ahead and get a lawyer asafp and tell them everything you just wrote

As long as your doing nothing wrong or that could potencialy open a child protection case and the status quo is the child with u then u will probably be good

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You need to find somewhere else to live asap whether it’s with a friend or family because unfortunately it does sound like he would have a good case for proving you’re unfit with no income, no license, no car, and completely financially dependent on him

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May I ask what’s, the big deal with her driving. Does driving make you a better parent?
All the family issues in that post and people pick up on the fact she doesn’t drive…

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Get government assistance! No its not going to get the kid taken, but it will get you the help you need! Youre not abusive, dont do drugs, you have no problem! They help with rent, fs, Medicaid, childcare… Everything you need help with they can help you with.

Ummm… wow first off. But he can prove hes paying for everything and you are not contributing.

Judges almost never take a child from it’s mother. And they definitely won’t remove a child from the home it’s already living in unless it’s unsafe. They will most likely give visitation rights. It doesn’t matter how much money he has or makes the court will make him pay child support.

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Well he can’t take your baby unless you’re unfit. I would definitely try get on government assistance and take him for child support. Atleast those would be incomes for you. Maybe try and go live with someone. Get a job if you can that’s maybe walking distance or if someone could take you. Try and get a baby sitter to work. You just gotta try atleast. I would be doing anything I could to better myself and my child if a baby dad like that.

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Just because they are older doesn’t make them the better parents. He can’t just take the baby and you can see if you can get a free lawyer. Get a job and make sure you have transportation (public bus and taxis count). He is showing instability in his actions so that helps you. Be calm, don’t let him near the baby till this is all settled and get yourself independent of him fast. You will still have to deal with him for the rest of your life but that doesn’t mean you let him bully you and get child support started now since that’s most likely the only reason he even wants the baby.

If your child is taken care of and being provided for he is not going to gain full custody of your child. You need to get a job so you have income and can provide without him and you should be fine from there. Unless abuse and neglect is an issue it’s rare that a mother will lose custody. He will get his share of custody/visitation but he can’t just take your child unless there is a good provable reason.

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Unless he can claim you unfit (which is hard to do) he won’t get full custody. He can however get rights and visitation since it is his child, but he would have to have paternity established first. Have a job and a place to live. Live in a stable environment and there’s no way your baby will be taken from you.

I’m in a similar situation Just hired a lawyer yesterday, and trying to get things resolved. Hun, my heart goes out to you. I truly hope for the outcome YOU want.

My husbands ex doesnt work lives with her mom and is a known drug addict and we cant get full custody of his daughter. Depending on your state mothers have alot more rights. He can not take the child from you, he may be able to get shared custody but not take her away. Sounds to me you need to move out and get a lawyer and asap!! Also try to get some kind of government assistance, go for child support and get a job even if only part time. Best of luck to you, sorry your in a bad position.

For starters get up off your feet and look for a job so it doesn’t look like you’re depending on a man. You need to make it look like you can handle the financial situation. Also get a lawyer and take pictures of everything they sent to you about the child time dates keep it all together. It will come in handy that they are not willing to let you see the child even though you’re trying to co parent with them. Get some government assistance. If you can move back in with ur parents if u can or relatives or something just gtfo there. Also I hope you learned your lesson this time don’t fuck with married men. I’m not saying you deserved this or your kid. But karma does have a funny way of playing out. Hope you have better judgment next time.

Ok, I got a question: did you name him as the father?
Get a lawyer. Find another apartment. Get on welfare if you need to. The likely hood of the court taking your child from you isn’t great unless he can prove that your unable to care for the child, or that it’s an unsafe invirement And being on welfare would not count. At best it would be shared custody.

Nothing to worry about. Remove all emotions . If nobody had history of drugs ,alcohol,abuse,anger. A 50/50 plan will more than likely be ordered.

You sound very young. Go to legal aid. He cant just get custody because he has a wife and a car. He will have rights to the child of course but he cant just take the kid from you. Get a parenting order and get custody sorted out.

Well, first off, a judge is rarely going to remove a child from a home unless there is reason to. He’ll have to prove that you’re unfit, and if he’s left you and your baby, it will be hard to do.

If he takes you to court, he’ll have to pay for your lawyer as well, so let him.

Also, there are resources that you can utilize as a single mom to help with housing, food, and daycare if you choose to start working or to go back to school.

You do need to go to court and get everything in writing though.

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Don’t see how this is funny

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He is using scare tactics on you. You are too dependant on him. Get any help available where you live.

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get a lawyer. He is a ass hole. I really can’t believe you went back to him. Yes you thought maybe it would work out. But he was still married & still with his wife when he got you pregnant. So many red flags. Take the prick to court & let your lawyer do the talking, change your number & DON"T let him have your daughter, he can leave with her…until it’s a court order.

Make sure he isn’t using your address, kick him to the curb if he is. Go apply for any kind of assistance your state provides, if you have legal aid check out your options with them, and do you have any friends or family who can help watch baby and you look for an evening job. You got this momma.

So theres no money yo hire an attorney

U can resolve this but u need to process in court and represent yourself

There is no sense in staying fir the child
He doesnt want u in his life nor will staying for child convince him otherwise

He likes to use scare tactics

He has some upper hand as he can financially provide for child

Luckily all bills in his name…u can just leave.

File 1st in court
U r the main caregiver for child
If anything u share parenting time.
He moves out of state so be it…but he cant just take ur daughter and move that stealing…of course u will have to sue him in court to get baby back that’s headaches

Process motion for custody parenting time and child support 1st

U have rights as well

U need to get a job
And be able to transport
So get ur license…no more dependent on that loser or any man for that matter

Ohp ins is free and provide free transport to appts
Get all the assistance they can give u
Do not add in his income becuz u r leaving him

Trust is broken and he has plans to ditch u. It’s over.

Theres a payment assistance in court if u do t have the $to process in court just yet

U got this!

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Seek some legal help! And get out of the apartment asap take your daughter witj you and find another apartment where he will never find you! Dont answer his texts and calls unless you have already talked to a lawyer and know exactly what to do. You have to fight for you and your daughters custody! Prove him that you got this! Goodluck!

Become self sufficient first of all. That will alleviate 95% of your worries. Second, no judge will take the baby from its mother without cause. He may get visitation or shared custody but that’s something you are going to have to accept. There is no way that you had no idea he was still married and even if you didnt, it’s your responsibility to make the best life possible for that baby.