This is the king of a vent but I also need advice. My girlfriend’s parents are starting to hinder our relationship. This has been a topic of discussion a lot lately because I really want her to spend the night at my house at least a couple of times a month. She still lives with her parents, but they are very strict on the fact that they have never slept together in bed until they were “married at 26 years old” and never lived together until they were married either. So that is one of the family values that they want her to respect and follow. She and I are both over the age of 18. She works two jobs and goes home every night before midnight because she is scared her parents will kick her out if she spends the night at my place. I’ve always told her she is free to move into my apartment with me at any time she feels ready. But still, she is afraid her parents will keep her from her siblings if she moves out. Her mother has her own mental health issues that she needs to deal with because she is constantly manipulating and emotionally/psychologically abusing my girlfriend and her siblings over small things. I love her so much, and I hate bringing up the fact that it bothers me that they won’t let her stay out at my place. But it’s really starting to get to me. Her mom already expressed to her that she doesn’t like me and will never be ok with our relationship. I am starting to think she is homophobic towards us and I am becoming discouraged. I don’t know what to do with my relationship.
As a 25 year old with a parent like that there is nothing you can do. Don’t believe the superficial reasons she gives you either, they’re an excuse she gives herself. Anyone who holds her daughters attention will be seen as the enemy because she knows that she’s being toxic af and doesn’t want others to point it out because it forces her daughter to question things more. I know it’s not much help but nothing will happen until your girlfriend leaves of her own volition
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My girlfriends parents are starting to come between our relationship: Advice?
If zu truly want to be with her ask her to marry u? If she says no let her have her family and move on with ur life u can’t sit and wait if she’s not going to go against her mom n dad.
Just do a wedding ceremony but don’t legally get married mom won’t know
Break the cycle. If you’re both over 18 then her mother can’t legally stop her from doing what makes her happy. Get married. Cut the toxic ties. I’m sorry you’re both dealing with this but as long as your girlfriend continues to allow herself to be manipulated, it will never stop.
Things are never all black and white.you only see things from your perspective.if your girlfriend is over 18 legally an adult and still chooses to live with her parents she must have her reasons. Let your girlfriend decide what she wants without you pressuring her.
Breaking the cycle of abuse and standing up to strict parents is extremely hard to do and it takes copious amounts of strength and courage to do so.
I think you should offer to do a date night but take her away for the weekend where you guys can spend some time alone together. However, don’t rush into marriage just so she can get away from her parents… that could lead to resentment and you don’t want that.
Well…If she let’s her parents control her now they will probably control ur marriage too. If you are ok with that then get married. But I would talk to her and ask her if you get married…what will be the restrictions her patents have for that cuz sounds like it’s their rules she is playing by.
Just because they have morals,they have instilled into their children, doesn’t mean they are homophobic. If you want to spend the night with your girlfriend then wife her. Getting married would allow her to spend the night every night.
She lives with her parent she has to follow their rules. You disagreeing with morals they have taught & continue to try to enforce doesn’t change that she’s their daughter.
Have you met the parents? Plan a dinner either out or at your place and really get to know them.
If you both are truly in love commit give her A ring and set A date!
Don’t get married. I was married at 17 you won’t like hearing this but ur to young. Focus on careers and building an independent life.
If you love her you’ll work around this. U can do what u want before midnight.
Sounds like all you want is to have sex with your girlfriend and you are really laying on the pressure to the extent of bashing her parents and their morals …if and when she is ready to take the next step she will untill them back off
Try to focus on just knowing yous are together and use that time appreciating and caring for your relationship.If things were to not work out she wouldn’t have anywhere to go.Its hard to leave your parents if they are all you had.In time
Looks like you both need to have a serious conversation about what you want to happen in this relationship. If she feels that she still needs her parents and siblings in her life then respect her feeling’s. Allow her to be with you without pressure.
If she’s an adult, she can do what she wants.
My dad wanted to kill my now husband for 7 years one day they just talked, met, and now he lives in my back yard life is strange. I mean if you wanna move in together why not get married your basically playing house.
Well if you are serious about this girl and relationship than you are going to marry her and the family. 18 is adult but still a kid really you may be used to being independent and alone but she’s not. Are they paying other bills or doing other things for her? Honestly maybe she’s ok with her family because that’s HER family. You are not going to win that . Until she’s ready to get away than the curfew and rules are how it’s going to be. It may be a bummer but it’s how it is. Just because she complains or you don’t like it doesn’t mean they are awful or controlling or toxic. I don’t know because you didn’t give examples but until she’s ready to go you have to support her and having fears about leaving her family and consequences isn’t that strange. It sounds like they may come from a big traditional family that may be religious. Again that’s not crazy or unreasonable. If she does leave then you will need to reassure her that it’s going to be ok. Leaving family can be a big deal. Whether you are cisgender or not. Again it’s your GF who is going to have to stand up For your relationship and what she wants. It’s very stressful but support and talk and hopefully she will decide what she wants.
I’m sorry but she IS under her roof and clearly her values are the same or she WOULD move in with you.
I was in the same boat as her at 18. If your girl is a Christian? You need to respect her values and encourage her to keep them. Like she is under their roof. But religious values stand outside parents even if she fell into compromise a few times encouragement is everything
Why should you get the benefits of marriage for free ?
If you don’t have the same values y’all shouldn’t be together.
I get it do you want to sleep next to your woman at night it’s a great feeling but if you press of ear if y’all are really intentionally dating for marriage then won’t that be that much more rewarding and if you’re not dating for marriage and if you’re not on the same boundaries and you can’t handle list and maybe this relationship isn’t for you
I just have to say that I moved out of my parents house at 18 and it was the worst thing I ever did. You always think your old enough but you need to be ready. Maybe she’s not ready. I wasn’t and found out the hard way
Oh god I cant see anything wrong with it . They must be religious cause I dont think you should get married until you live together for a while , marriage is a piece of paper , I let my now boyfriend of 18yrs and 3 kids together move in with me right away , yeah we aren’t perfect but love each other we said maybe on our 20th anniversary we will lol we’ve seen alot of people rush into marriage and it dont work
Except that she is a good girl unless you are moving her in your house shut up smart parents
The more that I am reading this I just want to understand this. You said that the mom is homophobic towards you so I take it that you guys are a lesbian couple? (Nothing wrong with that at all just clarifying). Is that what the issue is? If so I am sorry for that.
If you love her then marry her and don’t make her choose between what and how she was brought up. If you only want her to spend the night so you can get your winky dink whacked then that is not love that is lust. When you are totally in love with a person you put them first. All I am getting from you is I am not getting laid.
Sounds like her Mom’s a strict asshole. My friend had an ex with parents like that and her gf stayed with her and the parents kicked her gf out, cut off contact from the younger siblings and basically disowned the girl. They ended up living together and dating for close to 10 years before splitting and they’re still good friends. Your gf needs to stand her ground and stop letting the mom control every aspect of her life
And if they are against your relationship because you both are gay they will never accept it. Don’t pressure your girlfriend into moving in with you. If she wants to stay the night that needs to be her decision and not you pressuring her. You stated that her mom said she would never accept your relationship and maybe that’s the problem? Your girlfriend is scared of losing her family. Until she is ready to do all this I say just be supportive and offer a place to stay. Why would her not staying the night come between your relationship? You can still spend time together without her staying the night? You can still have intimacy and not have sex. If you are just wanting the alone time you can plan nights together at home and she can still go home and not stay all night. Sounds like you two need to talk about it.
She needs to get out of that controlling environment she is a adult and can’t stay out for the night wth.
Ooooh ok see this is why I hate unknown posts… you can’t see who is asking for the advice. This changes everything if you are a female. I was reading this as if you were a male… her parents clearly are old school, yes it’s huge (to them) that you don’t have sex together before you’re married…but also they’re never going to be ok with that because you’re gay. Yes. You are correct. That’s going to have to be something your gf has to deal with, you can’t do it for her. She has got to choose, her own happiness or her parents approval. Part of being a grown up, is sometimes knowing you can’t have it both ways. You’re gonna disappoint parents from time to time, but you can’t let that fear stop you from living your life how YOU see fit.
Long story short: fuck them parents. Move in together…but DONT GET MARRIED until you are ready, don’t let anyone force that onto you. If you marry before you’re ready, and for the wrong reason, it will cause resentment
What can you guys do at night that u can’t do during the day? Sounds like u just want to get freaky. Let that girl listen to her parents and just be there for her. Stop trying to change her situation. If and when she’s ready to move out she will. Encourage her to save up her money and get her own place in time but not move in with u bc u want her to sleep over I see why her mom doesn’t like u u kinda suck lol
I agree with the other people saying as long is she is under their roof… it’s their rules…
Your girlfriend needs to move out and get her own place. She has never lived on her own and she should do that before even thinking about moving in with you. She lives with her folks so their rules.
Marry her since you love her!
If she wants to stay with her parents because she’s worried about her siblings then encourage her to get some therapy herself. That way she can build up some confidence that may have been broken down by the Mom. Once she has that confidence she’ll feel more capable of helping her siblings from outside the home. It took my sister getting married to leave me at home and then I stayed with her every weekend. (Our Dad had some mental health issues)
Is this a lesbian relationship? That would explain a lot. Maybe she isn’t ready to come out to the whole world just yet. And maybe she still needs the “safety” of her family. Maybe she is still uncertain or uncomfortable with her sexually. Besides at 18 she’s gonna do what she wants to do. And it sounds like she isn’t ready for the next step in your relationship
You guys are so funny these parents sound like they’re controlling. I moved back in with my parents after I came back from California few years ago. I didn’t really have any rules all I had to tell them was what time I’d be home and if I wasn’t coming home. I lived with them about six months then I got my own place. This girl is clearly over the age of 18 what she does with her body is none of her parents business. They can’t control her and tell her that she can’t hang out with her boyfriend that’s a bit ridiculous. I would understand if they didn’t like it if she was a teenager but she isnt one.🤦
I’ve never been in a homosexual relationship but I’ve experienced stuff like this in a previous hetero relationship. He let his father run his entire life. If his father wanted something done, he HAD to do it right then and there. Granted they didn’t live together but he knew every single thing that he did. If I drove his car, his father flipped. If I stayed more than one or two nights in a row, he flipped. Spend money? Questions asked. Bring my daughters over? Why are they there. At the end of the day you have to decide what’s the best route for you. I ended up leaving him. And I found someone who treats me and my girls like we are the first priority.
This has to be a religious family. If you love her. Give her time. It will evolve on its own. Or it won’t.
If she can’t make up her own mind it is time to move on with your life
Its really her choice if she wanted to she would, shes respecting her parents wishes. She also probably gets stuff from them, food, shelter, etc. Youre just a bf maybe shes scared it doesnt work out and she cant go back to them. Talk to her about it, dont pressure her into living with you if she is unsure if she wants to respect the decision.
You should respect her parents as when you do all things in your life will go smooth and they will love you for it. Why just live together if you truly love her ? Some say it’s just a paper, but no it isn’t it’s a convent between the two of you and God, that you will live your life together as you promised it your vows. Remember the lady at the well in the Bible that Jesus told her she was not married to the one she now lived with and told her to Go and Sin no more. Marriage is two people coming together as one,
Too young to be married… the worst things young adults do is rush to grow up and “act like adults”. Slow down and just enjoy what is happening with your relationship now. You have decades to spend the nights with your partner. Focus on encouraging each other to live life to the fullest and prepare financially for your futures. good luck
Marry her Mr. I love her.
As long as she lives with her folks…
I thing you’re making too much of it
I have 18 year old daughter. If she is living under my roof she is not spending night at boyfriends house It’s called respect.
Yeah her parents are wildly abusive. This whole 'their roof their rules" crap is simple control and abuse. Shes a legal adult with the right to come and go. Thats not right.
And all of you suggesting they get married!! What is WRONG WITH YOU ALL!! THEYVE NEVER HAD SEX OR LIVED TOGETHER WTF!! Thats AWFUL advice. Thats why divorce rates are so high. What the hell?!
it’s sounds like it’s a cultural issue and for you to be accepted you need to meet them halfway. If your girlfriend has told you her parents wishes, then ask her what are hers. It sounds like the poor girl is being made to either live under her parents rules or live with you and yours. In my opinion, she needs to think for herself and if she decides to go against her parents wishes, she needs to move out on her OWN, ALONE. No sleepovers or you infringing on her new freedom. Then she needs to get therapy and decide what she wants to do with her life. You are so eager to get her out of her house and have her to yourself that you are ignoring the fact that she is being forced to choose. As much as you criticize her parents, they are part of who she is and partly why you like her. I am guessing they don’t like you for plenty of other reasons. Do some self inventory and respect that household and their rules. If you are always criticizing her parents and nagging her about having to go home, and making her feel guilty then I can guarantee she will grow resentful of you and you two won’t last. Either accept her for who she is and be supporting in her situation or if it’s that important to you, find someone else that has the freedom to go stay the night with you and move in. I know what it’s like to be in your girlfriend’s shoes. I made up a whole lot of lies to stay out late and jumped through hoops to be with my boyfriend and he’d roll his eyes, get upset when I had to leave and told me I didn’t love him while ignoring all the risks I had to go through just to be with him a little longer. Guess what? He is no longer my boyfriend and no longer in my life. To you it’s just a sleepover, to her it’s her family. My advice to you, back off or move on.
So I’m guessing you are a female writing this because of the "homophobic " part. That wasn’t made clear throughout the post. If they are that strict it explains why they don’t like you, would prevent her from seeing the family, etc. If shes a lesbian they need to accept that. We dont live decades ago where people were forced to be straight. Maybe just marry her?
Why Dnt you respect the parents and their wishes!!! Over 18 still kids plus she might move in with you you guys break up and then what ??? Dnt ruin the girls relationship with her family!!
It’s hard to give advice when we dont know the whole story, firstly if this is a lesbian relationship it could be against the family’s beliefs and they are just trying to steer her in a way that would please them. Also depends how old the girlfriend is because being 19 may not be mature enough in her parents eyes to go out on her own also she may have 2 jobs but does she pay them for room and board or is mommy and daddy supporting her. Alot of things to factor in here like is there previous reasonings her mother doesnt like you. Also why does she not want to live with you? Is she telling them one thing and you another? Do her parents know yall r a couple or are u just a friend. Does she have another bf/gf? That you dont know about. Wish you the best of luck.
Why don’t you two get an apartment together?
Let me help you understand, God want to spare your hearts from pain and hurt, God desires to bless you with an excellent relationship, and its important to respect the boundaries, wait on The Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart, Premarital relations is a sin, and this can cause many emotional scars, so be patient with yourself and with the families involved. Be wise young heart.
All you can do is either just be there for her when she needs you to be. Or you can marry her
If you love her why not married her. Her parents ha e brought her up right. It is against God’s teachings.
No matter the circumstance do not make her choose between both sides.
I think the fear here is also that if she moves in with you and defies her parents wants and expectations then she will be relying on you for a roof over her head and if the relationship goes south she will be SOL. Maybe try convincing her to move into her own apartment/rental if it’s financially feasible for her. That way no more living by her parents rules and she can get some distance from them. And ignore all the people saying it’s against God, or you’re too young to be making big decisions. Mine and my husband’s parents were strict about allowing us time together after we turned 18 and it didn’t stop us. We moved in together, got married after a lengthy engagement and now have 3 kiddos. And to top it off our parents seem to have a bit more respect for us as adults and no longer look at us as kids they can manipulate and control (most of the time, lol)
So I was in a relationship where my (now) ex would start with me until midnight or until I feel asleep because I was scared of being alone and my mother kicked me out at 19 without being able to really support myself (a whole other issue). My ex’s family got upset they would come in very late. So they made us choose to spend less time together or move in. They moved in and out relationship crashed months later because we weren’t ready
Stop pressuring gf to sleep over. She doesn’t need to spend the night to have quality time together. She’s not ready to move in with you or leave her parents. If you come between how she wants to deal with it you will lose her. Y’all are very young, you are learning how to be adults and will be learning a long time. Just breathe and be patient.
I don’t understand the “marry her” advice. Her parents can’t accept the relationship period so getting married is the solution? If she’s committed to the relationship she will slowly speak to her parents and try and get them to understand and hopefully they will. If not, it comes down to her being her true self and living her life with or without them.
She is over 18 she can make her own choice & for some reason she chooses too not live with you.
The way I see it either she moves out or it’s just going too be a constant battle.
To me it sounds like they’re religious and probably not approving of your lesbian relationship at all and to add to it your aren’t married. I feel like even if you guys did get married her parents still would not approve though. I would talk to her about that because she is going to have hard decisions to make in her future if her family won’t accept that she is lesbian.
She’s obviously not ready to move out of her parents. Moving in with someone is a big milestone in itself. Don’t make her choose between you and her family. Either be understanding or leave. Marriage won’t fix it until her parents establish a mutual understanding with you and her as well. She’s trying to avoid disputes because it is her family. Family is first and foremost the most important thing. Maybe offer her parents to supper one night, a movie, a bonfire, cookout, or even just to have a conversation. This will go further than you getting upset and forcing a decision that she isn’t ready or prepared for. Baby steps my friend, baby steps.
its unfortunate but they will prob never accept you or her sexuality, move on !! things look like it will never change
Feel like you need to respect your partners decision. My parents always said my house, my rules. It was not abusive, they were awesome parents. When someone else is paying your way and you’re living under their roof, you should be following the rules of the house. If you want to move out and live on your own that’s different. The fact that if she chose that route and they’d still try to manipulate the situation by withholding siblings is the abusive, controlling part. But….your girlfriend needs to be the one to make that decision-you can’t control her decisions either. If you love her, be happy with seeing her like you do until she is ready to move forward in the relationship and change things with her home life.
She’s living under there roof it’s there rules … maybe it’s time for her to move out on her own
When a person has been manipulated all their life, it is a very hard road to even understanding how it’s hurting you. Read up on a child of a narcissist. I was married to one for 30 years. I look back and wonder how I couldn’t see the manipulation. It was several years before I created new habits and let go of the toxic habits such as doing anything to keep peace. Made excuses to my friends that I couldn’t join them etc… good luck
Honestly I was the same way with my kids I wished I’d of practice what I preach. I learned in my second marriage we lived together for a year in that year I learned what a real man my second husband was. My first husband we were married 25 years and he was a jerk. All he wanted to do was not work and spend all day with his friends. We were always broke I don’t know how I managed but I gave my kids the best I could. Now my second husband it was all about me. He made me quit my partime job. After a couple of years my health took a turn for the worst he made me quit my job of 25 years. I was used to taking care of myself. It took a lot to learn to live with someone taking care of me. But this man is a real man. We got along great. So I told my daughter to live with her partner to be sure it would last. I respect your GF parents but things are different now days. They may not like my advise but I feel I wasted 25 years with my first in total misery. But this is my opinion.
Don’t be the one making it a battle for her. If you truly care for her then at midnight when she is ready to go home just give her a kiss and send her on home til you link up again.
You are still very young and she doesn’t sound like she is ready… Stop putting pressure on her. What is meant to be will be
Marry her, then sleep with her.
As a father I can tell you have nothing to offer her wut kind of work do you do are able to support her I bet you can’t and her parents see that your a freeloader as a parent we always want the best for our children sorry kid your jus too young all your looking for is someone to help pay the rent don’t ruin this girl’s life
What needs to happen for her to get her own place? Maybe help her toward that goal first.
You are both over the age of 18 years old. You are both adults. If you want to do something do it. You are an adult and can live your own lives.
Just remember your girlfriend has lived with them all her life so she is “scared” of losing her mother and her mother being spiteful. Her mother or parents have clearly manipulated her her entire life and its very hard to break that. I know its hard, but try understand from her point that it is a very difficult situation for her. She might have to choose between you or her family and that’s a very hard thing to do. If you love her, try stick it out and realize that its not easy for her. While she needs to break that manipulation, you need to try understand that she has.had it all her life. Its a difficult situation and her mother not liking you doesn’t help. But if she chooses you over her family and it doesn’t work out in the long run, she may not be able to go home. Its very hard to go against family even though she is old enough to make her own decisions.
If she wants to live with her parents then she has to respect their wishes. I would say be supportive and when she is finally tired of it she will leave and you can be there to help her through that process.
There’s nothing you can do to better this situation. You can either break up because it’s not progressing, or, wait until she finally decides to break free of her toxic parents. Pressuring her won’t help the situation.
It sounds like you are interfering in her family relationship and causing friction. If she moves in with you and it doesn’t work out she is, at best, now in a relationship with her family that includes mistrust and disrespect problems.
If you really love her you should respect her family if you want them to also be your family one day, stop
Pressuring her and slow down
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My girlfriends parents are starting to come between our relationship: Advice?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My girlfriends parents are starting to come between our relationship: Advice?
I moved in with my parents while I was getting divorced. I was 33 at the time. When I started dating my now fiancée, I knew I could spend the night with him on his end but out of respect for my parents, I didn’t. We did move in together, which my parents very much disagree with but they are dealing. I kinda understand where she is coming from. I’m sorry you’re going through that!
Short and sweet… If you want a long term relationship, than respect her parents. If staying the night is all you care about than you’re not ready for a long term relationship.
Honestly, if you think this is the one and its a “forever” thing then you have your whole lives to live together. A few more years won’t hurt and obviously she’s not pushing the issue so why would you? Because believe me, at that age, if she really wanted out she would do it and find a way to see her siblings and repair relationships with her parents later. Dont push her, Im assuming you haven’t been dating that long since that wasn’t in the post.
I don’t blame her parents for trying to keep her from making the biggest mistake of her life don’t blame her parents for not liking you in the Bible your abomination keep your life style to your self sickening
If she is working, is she paying board or rent to her parents. They may not want to the extra money she is giving them. She is a young adult she should be making decisions based on her goals and happiness. Maybe she is not ready to live the toxic situation she is in.
Hate to say this. But as a mom. Her house. Her rules. If your gf. Doesn’t like it. She should move out. If she doesn’t move out . Then it’s up to you to figure out if you can continue your relationship without living together. Or if you want to, put a ring on it. (Or simply go your separate ways)
As someone who married at 28 and lived at home until then I can not tell you how much it means to me my husband supported and respected me in my decision to not live with someone before marriage. It’s worth talking about it with her because she may have very good reasons of her own. Maybe she want it a certain way herself?
If she wants to choose that family relationship, and it is important to her, you’ll need to find it in you to respect it. Not respecting her choices is the same as not respecting her.
Whats the rush? If meant to be it will be fine in the long run. In todays world… Having some values is actually nice. When the time come that she feels its time to move out… She will. Dont add extra pressure where doesnt need to be.
It really depends on how much of your life you’re willing to let her parents dictate. If she’s too afraid to spend the night because of retaliation, the control issues would continue even if you were married. Living together without being married would definitely cause your gf to be “punished” (manipulated) by her parents. Being married will not change them manipulating her to keep control. Making your child fear retaliation is not being protective it’s about control. I’d say cut ties now and move on unless you are seriously considering getting married in the near future. I would not suggest getting married to appease the parents or just so she can get out from under their control. She’s obviously not at a point in life she is willing to cut them out and she may never choose her own life over disappointing them.
Untill she realizes that’s toxic behavior.She don’t have to tolerate it.The way the parents treat her will continue.Sad thing is she will have to burn some Bridges and be okay with it.Thats control ing behavior an would not be tolerated if she was in a romantic relationship with them people. Sounds like until she’s ready to move on from her parents and stop letting them controller her like that you’re going to have to walk away or else it’ll continue it’ll only get worse…hell if you think that’s bad wait until she does cut them off.They will flip.
It sounds like y’all are still really young. I’m sure it’s frustrating but I would give it a couple years (to 21 or 22) AND to the point where she could independently support herself (aside from relying on anything you might be providing because nothing is guaranteed)…. Before you suggest her making decisions that could have her family stop supporting her. I know that sounds really hard, but it’s important to get those types of ducks in a row before throwing oneself into a relationship that causes a family rift, at a young age.
Well if your girlfriend values are to do things appropriately then put a ring on it. Then again, living with someone for the first time is wayyy different than what everyone thinks so she might have to try it out, she’s an adult she needs to let her wings spread and fly
Sounds like her mum is a narcissist if she is manipulating all of her children and threatening to alienate her from her siblings. That is a worry as it is hard to win with a narcissist. Maybe get some literature on narsassim and help your partner see it is actually abuse. It is hard to see sometimes when you are so conditioned by it.
I understand her being afraid that her parents will keep her from her siblings. Sadly, I know a few people out there like that. I wouldn’t push the subject, just respect how she feels. That’s all you can really do
I come from an abusive prental back ground( meaning my dad was an abusive sob at one point in my life. He did get better and we did end up having a healthier relationship.my mom had mental problems from abuse). I was raised has a Jehovah’s Witnesses so I totally get your guys relationship. Her parents will probably kick her out. She will probably loose connection with siblings. I did for awhile until they decided the religion was not for them and my parents needed help. You might be willing and ready to move her in but it doesn’t seem like she is ready. Talk to her and find out what is holding her back. She could be scared of more than just the separation from siblings. Sometimes the retaliation is what someone can be afraid of.
What’s the rush about her moving in with you?? To me it kinda sounds that you might be pushing her a little too much about it and want to make it seem like is because of her mom. Have you thought about what she really wants? What if she is actually really close to her family and she is not ready to leave her home? Now you are saying that her mom is homophobic but how do we know that? For all we know the mom is just trying to protect her daughter, who knows what impression you gave her. I was raised with similar values/ideas with strict parents and it was because they wanted the best for me and I love them for that.
A mother like that will stop at nothing. She will find any reason to not like you if you are telling her child to move out.
Hang in there some families will never understand or accept you and that’s just fine your girlfriend will move when she’s ready it’s hard to choose between the love of your life and your family positive vibes
ok not knowing how either were raised, she may be dealing with even more then you are let to know. yes im older, yes my “baby girl” is now 25. and yes she moved out at 18. was she ready not in my eyes, but in hers, have i had to pick up her pieces and let her find her way, yes (we have 2 of her 3 children in our home and her oldest every weekend most weekends). untill she is ready to be honest with… herself, you, her parents, and her family as a whole. she will not be at the same point in this relationship. Now you must figure out your side… do you wait? do you push? and if so how long, and how far. do you try to figure it out while she sits and waits till she figures her self out? … me personally i think she may be hideng more to herself and you then she or you know. … but with not knowing more of the background of either person… we ar not honestly in a spot to say… stay or go