My Hubby Has Been Giving Me the Silent Treatment for 3 Days

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"He usually either snaps at me and rips me to shreds, leaving me feeling horrible. Then he’s nice again. Or I walk on eggshells hoping he’ll get over it. Because I can’t handle another personal attack. But this time I couldn’t handle going through that again after 3 days of tip-toeing around. So I packed up the kids and went to my parents. For so long, I’ve been so unhappy. But now I’ve got a chance to change everything. I don’t know that I can! Like leaving our family home empty, or him and them not seeing each other every day, or my kids having to start at a new school. It’s so much easier, in a daydream than in reality."

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The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"If he is not willing to conversate with and respect you enough to resolve (whatever) issues you two may have, then why should you try? I wouldn’t stick around, the kids are being taught this is acceptable behavior in a relationship, you’re showing them this is a “loving” place when in fact, it is not. Don’t stay!!!"

"He is abusive and if not for yourself stay away for the safety of your children"

"Don't stay, may not be physical abuse but it’s still abuse"

"If your not happy and haven’t been, do you think your kids don’t see that it’s not a happy home? They probably sense it. Sometimes what makes a happy family is for your kids to have to separate happy homes"

"You got this day by day. You need to be happy and respect yourself enough to know that it’s not healthy for you or those children to be living in fear. Just think you’re out now it’s time to heal and get that backbone you once had."

"You have to do what's best for you and your family. Be strong."

"Make the changes that you need to to free yourself, and your children, from being stuck in a loveless marriage. It will be well worth it in the long run. Get an attorney right away to protect your rights. Take his advice on how to handle your separation and divorce. If your husband promises to change, if you return, don’t believe him. He won’t."

"You’ve got this. I spent 12 years unhappy and living the same situation as you. I dreaded leaving worried about how I would do it alone. Here I am 2 years later and making it. It’s rough sometimes with three kids, but girl do it. The kids will be happy to see you happy! It’s an adjustment for sure but you can do it!"

"You’ve already made the biggest step, don’t stop moving forward now!"

"Keep going forward! Do not go back!"

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My estranged husband assaulted me on 5/21/22. I’ve known him since 1984. We got married in 2008. I had him arrested, protective order in place which he violated. Looking back I can see so many ways he was controlling me. My excuse at the time was I don’t want to argue about this anymore, so I would give in.
I’m fortunate we had no children together, so no reason for further contact.
What you are describing is my estranged husband.
He was convicted of violating the protective order on 10/5/21 and the assault and 2 other charges on 1/13/22. He is still facing 3 felony charges with mandated prison, not jail, time.
My step-dad showed by example how a man should treat a woman. I wish I had payed more attention to the emotional lessons. I’m 57 and starting my life over again. It’s not easy.
You are with a man that is slowly taking control of you. Have you given up things you enjoyed for him because you were tired of arguments? Have you started doing things the way he prefers because you were tired of the arguments? I know you make changes for your kids, but have you made changes because of him?
Please take time to think about your life and the direction it was and now is, going. Don’t waste your life for the sake of the kids. My parents divorced when I was 5. How that affects your kids is up to you. Judges will now put things in custody agreements such as no bad mouthing the other parent.
I am a college graduate as are my 3 siblings. None of us have ever been arrested, been addicts, needed therapy as a direct result of the divorce. We have raised successful children.
Divorce does not have to be a bad thing. if you think your kids don’t sense something is very wrong, think again.