My sons birthday was over the weekend and it was ruined by his dad and grandpa over football…they wanted to watch the game and wanted to do so in peace so they wouldnt let my son play in th eliving room and made him go downstairs to the basement to play on his own on his birthday…he was sad and upset and they basically ruined his entire day and i am so mad…my husband doesnt understand why i am mad bc we took our son out after football…i just felt like he should have had everyones attention all day bc it was his 5th bday…am i overreacting
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband and his dad ignored our son on his birthday: Advice?
Bad example Dad is setting for his son.
NO get a NEW Grandfather and husband. Kids that little dont understand and need hubby and Papa ALL DAY
This should be good.
No I’d be pissed . One day ur son will be grown and want nothing to do with his parents on his birthday. Cherish these times they come and go too quickly Shame on ur husband.
The whole family should return the favor on “his special day” what a jerk, maybe then he’ll understand.
As much as I can understand how you feel, I think you’re over reacting. (Talking about grandpa): Simply due to the fact that not everyone is going to prioritize your child(ren) or find certain days to be any special. Especially men, and more so older generations. They don’t harbor that feeling for sentimentality and specialness lol.
Anyways, not that I’m judging, but where were you? Why was he alone if you could have played with him? If you didn’t like it why not take him into a bedroom to play, outside, or out some place? Was he left with them and you went somewhere? Why if it was his birthday?
But, unfortunately you know for future. Take him to visit for a bit but don’t leave him there with gramps
Edit to add: Misread a little. The kids father has no excuse. That’s horrible on his part and I’d be pissed at him.
Oh no I’d be pissed. Football is life in our home and my husband would NEVER especially on an important day such as birthdays, anniversaries, etc. and neither would I. That is wrong on so many levels !!!
So why did you let him stay in the basement? Did you go down with him?
They are jerks the kiddo is way important
Not over reacting. Your birthday is one day that’s suppose to be all about you. Those who love you should celebrate you.
I had most my childhood birthdays ignored or just not really celebrated and it has made all my adult birthdays uncomfortable.
He’s a shitty dad…period.
Wait… so you said he did go with you and took him out for his birthday? So he did celebrate it, just not the way you wanted. Geeez. I think you are over-reacting. Life doesn’t stop for a birthday. As long as he celebrated it on the same day then you need to stop trying to control everything.
Your house or theirs? Either way I don’t care. The world doesn’t revolve around your kid
You are slightly overreacting. Football fans think there is nothing more important than the game. You could have planned a special day the day before. I suggest you talk to your husband before game day in the future about birthday plans. Also why didn’t dad want his son watching football with him and grandpa, missed bonding opportunity.
You’re over reacting.
This is why football is only played in the garage at my home.
I mean that’s a shitty thing to do when I’m sure as a boy at 5 years old he would have loved to sit and watch football with dad and pawpaw. And I would be mad to. And do something again for him for his birthday and say f*** dad and grandpa
I’d be mad if someone messed with my SUNDAY football!!!
I was married to a guy like that. WAS…
I don’t think you’re overreacting. Considering this has to do with your child and his feelings.
His feelings were hurt and that’s the main issue here. They need to fix it.
This was something I made really obvious to my ex. If he couldn’t make B’Days, Holidays or Fathers Day special for the kids then, the kids were not going to see him on those days as he would go out of his way to make the day horrible for the kids and I was over it as it’s not fair on our kids that their own Dad wrecked the day for them.
Where were you? Why was your son alone?
I would’ve taken him out and said NOTHING to them.
Not worth your time or the disappointment for your son.
I avoid all plans during college football season but never my son’s bday.
I’d be pissed too. Like, I’d be planning to leave pissed. You could’ve taken him out for a while, just you 2. Baked cookies, played games, anything. I probably would’ve taken him out without them.
Next year, be ready to take him and go. Plan a day and just leave if dad can’t be bothered. Then, return the favor.
Nah I would’ve shut the power off for the basement
I think it’s a bit of an overreaction. Of course you wanted your son to have a great birthday but you did have him on a football game day In all seriousness your son is probably reacting to your reaction to the situation. So much of a kids behavior is based off their parents. Y’all did take him out after. It’s not like he didn’t get to celebrate at all.
No!!! Your husband and his dad sound like asses,
Yes and no. Always do what you can for your children rather or not anyone else does. My son’s 6th birthday was me and my mother doing it all. I went on and invited my child’s father and 2 younger siblings on the father’s side. So we ate and did presents and of course the cake and ice cream without the father. He wanted to go to a town about an hour and a half away to go to harbor freight. He used my vehicle cause he didn’t have one. He said he figured that would be the only chance he got to go since he had no vehicle. And my child still had fun and a good birthday cause we did it our way without his father. He only asked about his dad once. And when we were all done and ready to go back to the place we were staying that is when his dad showed back up. So next time if the game is that important to the child’s father tell him to go somewhere else to watch it or have the child’s birthday somewhere else. The father can show up later or not at all. You do what you need to for your child. As the child gets older and sees what is more important to their other parent they won’t care anymore as long as they still have fun and enjoy their day. It may suck for the other parent when said child becomes an adult cause the said child may not want to have anything to do with the parent that was not involved. But at least you stepped in and did what needed to be done for said child. So be happy and spend time with said child and do what is fun for you both with or without anyone else. Show the child that at least one parent is there and loves them.
My boys comes before sports
Your not over reacting I would be hurt and upset too that’s your babies special day I totally get it he should have spent it with him even if it was watching the game he could have included him
Birthday is one thing… is everyone suppose to act like they don’t exist and put birthday kid on a pedestal? That’s kind of setting up kids for an unrealistic expectation of selfishness.
WTF?! That’s fucked.
I’m torn on this. If it was one game, then it’s an overreaction. If it was more than that, Dad’s priorities are in the wrong place.
This is also about communication. I know MANY guys that would HEAR “Birthday outing at 5pm” and think that they can otherwise plan their day as they see fit. By communicating that Sunday is XYZ’s birthday and we should spend the day making it special for him… The expectation that your spouse is going to telepathically have the same plan as you is asking to be disappointed. Unfortunately, thoughtfulness may be lacking in his part. Communicating expectations upfront will save everyone heartache.
Now if say, you did communicate ahead of time and he said, “But I’m watching football with my dad,” you need to then decide if him watching football with his dad is less important than 3 extra hours spent with the birthday boy. You could have taken the birthday boy out for a bit, just the two of you.
I would have felt the same way if things weren’t planned. But if you already knew there was a match, why didnt u schedule that time for u and your son only and later he’d celebrate with his Father. It is the things that we put in our kids mind that traumatise them. If he had a great time while out, i think that does it
No not at all. They were very selfish and inconsiderate. Football is all the time. 5th birthday is once in a lifetime. Their priorities are messed up. I would not celebrate your hubs birthday and treat him as a bother like he did your son. He should have been spending it with yall. Now days, people can record football games and watch them at a later time.
I don’t think you’re overreacting. On our kids birthdays the whole day is about them and what they want to do. We have breaks throughout the day where we all just chill out and do something on our own but we make a special breakfast, open presents, they choose an activity to do for the day, go out to dinner, and have cake at home that they chose. I would never just send my kid off to entertain themselves and basically ignore them for the day, even if we do something that night.
You should’ve taken him somewhere and left dad at home to watch his game.
Kids before anything. They could of watched the recorded game. You did right I would of been mad too
Yeah not over reacting it was your son’s day and they could have watched footy once he was in bed. I feel that especially on milestone birthdays such as the 5th it’s the birthday boy/girls day to do something fun or exciting for said birthday child… How incredibly selfish of hubby and grandpa
That’s horrible in my opinion!!
Can always rewatch the game AFTER the birthday.
Definitely not over reacting at all
Your husband and fill need to put
Your child ahead of a football game
I dano man… its a shitty thing.
But hockey season is pretty big in canada so i understand where dad and grandpa are coming from… but at the same time im big on birthdays.
However, my daughters birthday is a week befire xmas… so most times her actual party is celebrated at the beginning of december… and her actual birthday is a fairly quiet uneventful day.
Definitely an unrealistic expectation on your part, unless your hubs became a d!e hard football fan over night it shouldn’t surprise you
If yall went out after and celebrated him he wasnt “ignored”
You could have made more of your time if your son was upset then being upset with your hubs and it’s not as if you threw him a big party where he would be center of attention
The only time in life that you are completely carefree, innocent and with no responsibilities is birth through age five. Turning five is a big deal. Not only to the child but to the parent because they’re officially no longer a baby. I’d be pissed at the dad.
Not even pissed but more disappointed that he didn’t care how big of a deal turning 5 is.
Football could have been recorded… just sayin.
You are not overreacting,!
You are not over reacting. Your hurting for your son.
That was pretty mean…wasnt there anything you and your son could of done together while they were watching football?
Not to mention you said your son was sad about the lack of attention to his special day, fuck that power line would have been cut
Nope nope nope! I had same issues many moons ago. Put my foot down with those two real quick. They can put aside their stupid games until the babies had their amazing day! They’ve had their whole lives, and have more life to watch stupid TV. But it does not exist the few times a year our babies have their special days/times. Needs to not even be a priority compared to any family member having their special times that only come around every so often
children get one day of the year that is all about them they get to have all the attention and everything be about them and what they want I’d be beyond pissed if my child tried to play in the living and got sent away regardless of the day but on his birthday I would have broke the TV honestly
You are not overreacting it was your sons 5th birthday that should have been Dad’s and grandads priority you are only 5 once
Sorry, but I’d be livid! I’m livid just thinking about it, and I don’t know y’all from
Adam! Who TF places a football game over their child… nonetheless on their BIRTHDAY?? A football game?? It ain’t that serious!! I mean they could WATCH the game, TOGETHER… but to send him out the room like he’s some bother, ON HIS SPECIAL DAY and they don’t want the little pest interrupting the GAME, is fcuking ridiculous!! FOH… I would have went all the way off!! Him and his father would have gotten cursed out!! People place so
Much emphasis on these football games, it’s truly sad. You place a game
Before your own flesh and blood… sad actually. Wow.
If your son was sad and upset. Then you are not over reacting. And 5 years old. That’s so sad
My question to you us why…? Why did you permit it. Your son is a child and has no say, you are an adult and his voice and clearly need yo be your husband voice of reason.
I don’t think you’re over reacting. They could have recorded the game. You never put your kid on a back burner … especially on their birthday … especially when they are that young. They should have included him in the game watching. Yes, there would have been interruptions … that’s why you record the game & watch it later … say, after the kid’s bed time. It would have been even better if they had turned the TV off & spent some time with the kid … maybe doing something HE wanted to do.
If the kid wasn’t that upset about it, I’d say no big deal … but what 5 yr old wouldn’t be upset about being sent to “time out” on his birthday? Because that’s what it was … a time out.
Next year for his birthday, plan an all day event at the zoo or park or skate rink or somewhere that everyone’s focus is on celebrating his birthday!!!
Imma be the odd ball out here. But if they were watching there team than I think it’s fine. Y’all still celebrated.
So as a mom you should have took your son out. Don’t understand why you let him go to the basement
I would’ve done something with him during the game. What were the plans that day for him?
While I know you’re feeling and why you feel that way, logically, yes you’re overreacting. His birthday was celebrated, the whole day usually isn’t given up for birthdays. I know it hurts your feelings for the child but I don’t think that the men would understand.
You could’ve had one on one time with him till after the game. Then after you all did something as a family. I do think you’re overreacting a little as the whole day wasn’t ruined.
I’d make a fuss. Football can be recorded not a child’s life
Having everyone’s attention all day long is a high expectation. If your son’s birthday was ruined because he had to play with his toys in a different room for a few hours, I think that’s a big problem, for your son, and/or you. Doting on him every waking moment is a lot to ask, and giving him every single thing he wants is a lot to ask. Having a day ruined because your play time is in another spot is just wild to me. He’s not happy with the rest of the day? His outing after his play time? I don’t think this is a big deal. At all.
Personally, unless you had something planned for the whole day I dont think watching the game was a huge deal, BUT, they definitely should have included him in it. Had game day snacks, let him play in the room with them and not made him go away. They could have enjoyed the game and interacted with him. They certainly could have done that better so that he didn’t feel ignored.
What I don’t get is why he was in the basement alone, where were you? I would’ve taken him out fir a mom and sin date and when football was over go dk a family outing. Either way your husband and his dad are jerks for putting it over a child’s bday but I wouldn’t of let the poor kid be by himself
They were jerks !! A 5 yr olds birthday is WAYYYY more important than some damn football game !!!
Plan to go out of town on your husband’s birthday without him, take the kid with you and have fun
Why didn’t you do something with him during the game then do something as a family after… I don’t get why your so upset
So Sorry, I will never understand why Guys like to watch grown men play with a ball instead of being a compassionate parent, sports betting may be the answer, time to find a real man and move on!!
Totally agree with being pissed off. And you should definitely talk to you husband about it but ultimately the responsibility￼ for the relationship between your husband and son, is on your husband. Your son will see who was there when it mattered. You can’t make your husband do anything, but you can show your son, his mother that has enough love for him regardless of anyone else.
So what I do is, if my husband thinks something has to be watched or done, during a special time or day. I act as if he were standing beside me. I cheer my girls on, or sing happy birthday or whatever it may be… because in the long run it’s about who shows up, who loved them when it mattered.￼
Somebody once told me - “someday your kids are going to figure out who you are, just like you figured out who your parents are. Make sure you’re being the person they can be proud of when they figure it out.”
You’re overreacting. People typically aren’t celebrated the literal entire day of their birthdays. I would be upset if someone-no matter who it was- told my child to leave the room though. I love football too but i would never make my kids leave the room because I’m watching it.
I want to feel special all day on my birthday I like to make my partner feel special on his birthday to it hasn’t always worked out that way but I do try
No ur not overreacting. His dad should have paid attention to his son the whole day and not banished him to the basement. On ur husbands birthday make sure u banish him to the basement and not pay attention to him and see how he likes it
It’s hard to tell the tone of the message.
If it was an angry “go away” tone, I would be upset. Nobody should be shushed away for a game… birthday or not.
If it was in a tone of “right now we are watching the game and I’m excited to play afterwards” it could be acceptable.
Birthday is all day. Football only a couple of hours. No one needs to surround a kid on his birthday all day. Your way out of line.
Plan better. If your husband is that big of a football fanatic-know that sundays are no good for birthday celebrations. You’ve been with your husband how long? I imagine he’s always been big on game day for those years, celebrate on saturdays
Dad and grandpa should have got him a soda had him sit on the couch with them and explain the game to him
Yes Your over reacting
Overreacting in my opinion, he didn’t need undevided attention all day… Lots of sports fans get pretty into their games I’d probably be annoyed if he were on video games all day tho as that’s somthing that can wait lol
No, you’re not. Wtf? I’d be livid and MAKE SURE they didn’t get to watch it in peace.
Should have turned the tv off & told them to gtfo if they wanna be that way
Today was my own son’s 5th birthday and know exactly how you feel. I feel like (especially at a young but aware age) you should make that child feel special all day. Obviously it can’t happen as undivided attention depending on your family’s dynamic, but parents can pay special attention and allow things to slide on that one day. My rule of thumb on birthdays and holidays: no video games (our family’s “football” if you will).
Your his mom! You should have done something if it was all day your so concern about. To answer your question, your over reacting but its your own action you should be mad at. Not your husband.
He is five his birthday is special but all day is a little much! He probably had a special cake as and presents what more did he need?
I want to say that Id be upset, but my partner would’ve been the same over boxing. I think he would’ve been the same way, so we would’ve done something before boxing (runs late) or on a weekend date that isn’t the same.
Tell your husband that it’s time to start teaching his son about the game when he watches it or you’re going to encourage your s9n to start backing hubbies most hated team… Pride in his team should kick in about then.
Then why didn’t you go play with him while they’re watching football. You have the whole day to do something with them if you knew they like football
That’s some pretty heartless stuff. Nothing is more important than that little guess 5th birthday.
I think if the kid hadn’t minded it would’ve been okay, but since dad and gpa could tell he was upset dad at least should’ve gone and spent time with him. Next time I’d get a kid or two he’s friends with to spend some time with him also. Idc how much he loves sports, there is one birthday a year and you can record games.
No I’d be upset too
My son turned 5 this year also and after Covid and two years of birthday cancellations I went all out for my son with a birthday party the day after his actual birthday.
On his actual birthday I spent the whole day with him, went to a movies, lunch and then cake at families for dinner and gave him my complete attention for the entire day to make it special and to know he is very much loved. And also sorry for the last two years of crap birthdays (my dad died in 2020 and we were in lockdown and 2021 we went into lockdown a week before he’s birthday) so it meant a lot to him to be celebrating he’s birthday. 5 is big for them coz they are maturing from baby to small child. I know my son was so excited and talking about it how bog he is now and that he’s d enough to play basketball. I 100% would have been fuming.
We didn’t hear from my sons dad either but haven’t since January so didn’t really expect it to be honest. He’s only every considered himself so that’ll never change.
Yeah you are overreacting. There is absolutely no reason he couldn’t be sent to play for a little bit during the game. He’s 5. He doesn’t need to have the full attention of the adults on him every single second!
Definitely Over Reacting!
The world doesn’t revolve around your child. I feel like the day should have some sort of special, but it definitely doesn’t need to be every second of the day. You said you all went out later… my guess is he probably recieved a gift. That’s more then some kids get, and I feel like the expectation all day revolve around your child creates entitlement. Can you imagine your entire birthday be ruined by a couple hours…? And your child doesn’t know, you being upset about it is the only way they would ever know to also be upset.
I can see how upsetting it would be seeing him upset. I feel like he could have played in the same room as him. I font think he needed their full attention all day especially if his actual celebration was later.
Taking the child to dinner after they were like that toward him doesn’t make up for how it made him feel, I would have been pissed as well. I get wanting to watch the game but your child always comes first, he could have watched the game with him and they could have bonded over something
He is a d¡ck. But you know this already. Divorce him and be done with his selfishness.
Yes you are absolutely overreacting!!! Why you didn’t went down stairs and play with him instead ? He doesn’t have to be celebrate the whole day
It’s football… I love football but my kids always come first. Screw that. I would be pissed. Sorry not sorry. They are only little for so long. Football is always there
Thats one why to make you child start resenting you