My husband and I are on a break and I saw a female leaving our house: Advice?

Guys can’t seem to go without u give them that option they go no self control “””””””

Was it his idea for the break? If so then the answer is to leave his ass…if not talk to him about it, tell him you were not aware he was going to see other people…tell him how you feel or you will never work it out

You don’t take a break from marriage. Get counseling.

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I’m sorry you are going thru this. Prior to the break, did you discuss what was ok and not ok? This would be the end of the relationship for me. Hugs.

You need to bring it up and discuss what being on a break actually means. If he’s seeing someone else in would say it’s over for good

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I never heard if a break when you married you either separated or divorce. You know that’s like saying you do you and I will do me.

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Well this is why “taking a break” while married doesn’t work. Cause that’s cheating imo and I’d make that break final & complete.

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Divorce is your best option

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Wait “his” house? U don’t live there? I would have parked and went in why dance around it!

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Flat out ask him. Did this break mean we were seeing other people? Because it wasn’t my understanding that, that’s what we were doing. I was under the impression that this break was for (name reasons) and that we would talk it out or work it out. I ask because I did see a woman leaving here the other day. It hurt me to see since it wasn’t discussed that this break was an open door to other people, and if I had known that’s what you wanted I wouldn’t have agreed.

You’re married. There’s a level of communication present, use it… without knowing the reasons for your break I can’t give any other sound advice. But communication is an umbrella bit of advice it covers all aspects, because if you don’t communicate and have an actual face to face conversation then you’re just assuming or “what if” or guessing and that’s not going to help anything.

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To bad your on a break. There’s no break in marriage. The marriage is over

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You’re not taking a break, you’re getting played. You can’t take a break from a marriage. You can, however, find someone else who doesn’t treat you that way.

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Your marriage is over…

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I hate to tell you but in marriage you don’t get brakes. it’s a separation or divorce you better off getting divorced now. He’s playing you. 

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Sounded more like you needed some time to get your head straight and he didn’t think you’d find out. And since this is someone you don’t know he’s obviously been talking to other women for some time tonget one to go over to the house. You have to decide now what to do with this information. Do you let him use you and devalue you or do you pick yourself up and value yourself? Because you know if you ask him he will lie as he never expected to get caught.

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I would ask him who was that. I would go ahead and file and let him know why. And if that house his both y’all’s name once you file. You can get it or it will have to be sold. Your first visit to an attorney is free he will give you advice.

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Yall done girl…married couples dont take breaks… go be happy find you

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Just because you’re on a break, y’all are still married- so in my eyes that’s cheating.

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He’s playing you, leave!

It’s not cheating. You are not together.

Taking a break or getting some space in a marriage is a slippery slope in my opinion.
In no way would I think that would mean seeing other people.
Maybe some space to think, to miss each other, to work on your relationship, attend counselling etc….but seeing other people? Hard no from me. That would be the end. I hope things work out the way you want them too :two_hearts:

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I believe that woman was in the picture long before the break. I would ask him if he is sleeping with her and then decide if a divorce is a better option. I know it sucks but running around each other’s feelings isn’t good and if you want to work it out then move back in and set down and lay it all out on the table and then start fresh. Be honest with each other and try to work through it and if not then you know what you have to do

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There you go girl,you met the wrong guy so now try again and better luck next time.

You’re not taking a break. You’re marriage is over. He just wanted an excuse to bang other chick’s. Get your shit and leave.

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For better or worse…there is no “on break” Can you honestly carry on this marriage after this break wondering what each other was doing? Time to divorce. You need to file immediately. No need to ask questions about a woman. I’m sure you know the answer already. Otherwise you wouldn’t be on this break in the first place.

Tell me please, how do u take a break from marriage?
This is one for the books :joy:

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My husband and I was on a 6 month separation at the 5 year mark, both of us met other people….after 6 months we worked it out and are now fixing to celebrate 20 years soon. There are different definitions of break for different people, as a couple you have to define what your break will be. Be open, honest, and communicate your feelings. If you can’t, then that may be the reason for the break? Can’t have a true relationship without honest communication.

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In that case? Go ahead and take a permanent break, I would leave and never look back :woman_shrugging:

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You don’t take breaks while married. That line is only ever used when they want to cheat and give the idea of Divorce. Make the idea happen.

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Yes mention it. That would be the straw. Get it off ur chest. That’s probably the reason u r on a break …umm

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Married people don’t take breaks also if he is having a woman coming to yaws home that’s a total no no …you need to ask him about it and if he has already been somewhere else relationships is most likely over

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There is no break in a marriage… maybe space- (as in i need some time to better myself ill stay at my moms) but a break isn’t for a marriage.

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Tell it to the judge lol

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I didn’t realize you got “breaks” with marriage.

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Sounds to me like he wanted an excuse to see other woman. I’d just serve him with divorce papers the next time I saw him.

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Married people dont take breaks. Your marriage is over. If he wants to do those things…its over

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Oh honey… you should not have taken a “break” like that. My brother, a therapist, always tells people never to leave the house. If he was the one who wanted the break, he should have been the one to leave. Either way, that is still your home and you have every right to be there and come and go.

But now that you’ve seen another woman there, your marriage is not over but it’s definitely in trouble. You should discuss with him the terms of this “break” (which, for the record, was a really bad idea in a marriage) and see if he meant it was fine to see other people. If you do not want to do this break, you need to tell him now. At this point, he is, and likely has been cheating on you. If you talk to him and he does want to see other people and you do not, let him know that either you are leaving or prepare yourself for the fight of your life… and look up Limerence and infidelity PTSD.

Good luck. :frowning:

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Get proof he’s cheating before saying something so you have more leverage in divorce

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I didn’t know married people could be on a break from marriage.:woman_shrugging:

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No girl he simply cheated. Marriage doesn’t have breaks, a break happens before you’re divorced and it’s called ‘we’re separated’

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It’s done. Make it permanent

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Sounds like he views your break as a break up.

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Married couples don’t take breaks that’s childish thing to do in my opinion

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People don’t just take breaks and one goes and stays somewhere else one sleeps and on couch or in another room that’s how u do if

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Get checked for sexually transmitted diseases.

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Your married no?If it’s your boyfriend…then whatever. But your husband? Somethings real wrong here.

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Being married, if you take a “break” it’s time apart. Not a break from your marriage, or the vows you made.

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This is Ross and Rachel all over again. :see_no_evil:
Definitely not okay!

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I would say something bringing and other women into urs and his home no no but maybe there’s an explanation?

You don’t take break in the marriage
Either you continue going or you stop no in between!

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So ask him. What is good for the goose is also good for gander

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What do you think on a break means :woman_shrugging:t3:

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I think you two should’ve made some rules and made clear what this break was about. It’s a failure to communicate. Now you need to decide if you want to work on the relationship in therapy OR do personal therapy and divorce and move on.

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nahhh you literally cannot “break” from your marriage.
you still have vows that you state and swear upon until DEATH.

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You mean you seperated? Usually when you “take a break” you are not married. Sounds like he is already moving on

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Married & taking breaks? Let me guess he suggested and that’s cheating …file papers

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Chances are she was already there before the break

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Married couples don’t take breaks. They work things out as best as possible.

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Ask him who she was and why was she at the house. You could also ask neighbors if they have seen her at the house very often. It might even be innocent - but make sure first.

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my husband and I took a break for over a month. Not once did either of us step outside our marriage. not would we.

I’m so sorry honey he cheated on you you don’t deserve this.

Time to move on. Go file and next time you see him ask him about her and hand him the papers. Also if your married how is it his house?

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I do not quite understand why a married couple (or any couple for that matter)would take a break myself, however she did not ask everyone’s opinions and judgements on the fact they decided to take a break, the question was about weather she should talk to her husband about this mystery woman she saw leaving the house. To answer your actual question in my personal option if when you two official decided to take the break and you did not sit down and discuss exactly what a break meant zto each of you, what the purpose of the break is and if dating other people seeing what else is out there is something you are or are not okay with and what each of you wants when it comes to that. If this and other things were not discussed at length and agreed upon then you need to take the time to do so asap. I don’t feel you need to bring up this woman,if it was not clear what is expected . Perhaps if he agrees that you are not doing this to see other people and that it is unexceptable then you might want to bring the woman up and find out what his intentions are.