If so, how do you deal with it?
My husband came from a very dependent family, no rules, no cleaning, no responsibility, nothing. The mom did everything, gladly. However, they are not family oriented now. All loners.
I came from a very independent family. Very strict rules, house and rooms had to be kept clean, everyone had jobs by 15 and relied on no one. My family is really family oriented.
Our marriage happened so quickly but I feel like he isn’t who I thought I was going to marry. Nothing is the same, actually.
I am miserable. I feel like I downgraded my lifestyle.
Have any of you ladies married a man who lived a completely different lifestyle than you?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband and I grew up very differently, how do we make it work? - Mamas Uncut
Communication is key! Talk about what you like and don’t like in a family setting or in a marriage if it hasn’t been talked about yet, give him room to talk about what he thinks you might have to ask him but have a serious conversation. Be open and talk not when he’s focused on something and maybe even tell him a head of time that you need to sit down and talk at some point. Express your worries and hopes.
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We grew up very differently but we’re very understanding of that and talk about literally everything so if something is bothering the other person we make sure to address it. We very very rarely fight besides little stupid arguments here and there and I think that’s because we address whatever right away. So I would suggest if something is bothering you to talk about it otherwise I think when you dont and you keep it to yourself that’s when it becomes a bigger issue.
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If your miserable then you should be talking to your husband about fixing the issue either with change or quitting because marriage is not easy people change and you can’t have it your way all the time I really hope you work things out
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If you decide to try and make things work try and meet in the middle you both come from the extremes. So if you want him to change you have to change too
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Communicate and compromise, the two most important things when married. You are two completely different people and it’s so important that communication is open and maintained. It’s also important to be able to step outside of yourself and get a clearer picture from your partner’s perspective. You both have to be willing to change.
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Get a divorce and move on
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You’ve got to lay out your expectations. Communicate what you want out of the relationship. There will be some compromise. But if you can’t do that, it’s not going to work. You’re not unreasonable to think that he should help, you’re his wife not his mother. My boyfriend very willingly helps out, even though I’m not working right now and feel like I should be doing it.
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We grew up differently… and been together for a long time… we make it work
Communication is key in resolving anything. Tell him your feelings, if he still continues to disrespect them, leave. Don’t waste your life on being unhappy.
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Everyone on here is saying that communication is key. I agree, but I also see that this relationship seems doomed already. “I feel like I downgraded” 
is a whopper of a statement AND I see nothing positive in what you see in your partner. You have listed all your families traits as positives and all his families traits as negative. I don’t see any room in here where it looks like you might be willing to compromise. Better to just end it now for both of you.
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Wow like you really think you’re better then your husband you could use a more humble attitude just wow
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You have to tell him what your expectations are, what your vision of a happy marriage is, and his you’re currently feeling. Plan Sunday dinners with family members, go in double dates with in laws and their spouses, make those connections and build the family and life you want. It takes work, planning and communication.
Talk to him. My husband grew up differently than I did. He was an only child, and my siblings are my closest friends. That didn’t stop us from setting goals together. We grow together. That’s what makes it work. You need to be going in the same direction, no matter where you came from, you are together now, so now you move together.
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Did you not know this before you married him. I feel like this was something that needed to be worked out before you married a guy
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Grow together 
talk to him
I wouldn’t want to be judged on my past.
Is he lazy and irresponsible now??
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Sounds like you were born to be stuck up and he wasn’t. Good luck trying to find almost anyone whose mom didn’t do nearly everything in the household. Most moms wanted their kids to be kids while they were able to.
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Cut your losses and move on. Your verbiage and sense of superiority towards your own upbringing combined with your blasé degradation of his shows me that you aren’t interested in the compromise and communication that’s needed to reconcile these differences.
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Omg, you feel like you downgraded.
What a terrible thing to say. I feel sorry for you, but most of all your husband. I’d say if you can write this one Facebook for the whole world to see then you already have made.up your mind.
Just leave already.
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Do you love him? Is he a good husband and father? If so, then you find a way to compromise. You sit down together and have a discussion about rules, chores, responsibilities and expectations. You come to an agreement that satisfies you both and go from there. Just keep in mind that forming new habits takes time, on both parts. Use gentle reminders about what you two have agreed upon when one of you forgets. Work together. Every husband and wife come from different backgrounds because every family is different and every child is raised different. Once you’re an adult, and have your own family, you take from both backgrounds and decide what works best for YOUR family.
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I did an family said I thought I was better them. Proved to be true I went down to his level
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I totally feel you on this!!
Wow had to have a job by 15 doesn’t sound like fun.
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Opposites usually have the happiest of marriage! YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN HIM! It sounds like you’re determined to be miserable so don’t take him with you. Let him go so he can be happy w/ someone who appreciates him! Flaws and all!
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Divorce is the only option.
Childhood chore structure differences are fixable, ethnic and religious differences are fixable, normal versus dysfunctional upbringings are much harder to fix, and wide socio-economic divides are very rarely fixed, people who were raised in a modest hand to mouth existence rarely go long term with someone who grew up with access to disposable money and recreational shopping, you can make your scene work if you choose to
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Have you had counselling?? Both of you together???
You just disrespected your husband, yourself and your marriage all in one shot. I can tell you right now he deserves better than you. Good day
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If you’re gonna make it work, you just have to work to find a happy medium that works for both of you. Compromise.
My husband and I grew up totally different and we just make sure to communicate about things. It took a lot of work at times because unfortunately he was raised with parents that didn’t pay there bills on time or if ever, they moved over 30 times because rent was never paid and his parents were both alcoholics and just not really involved with the kids, and the house was always a disaster. I wasn’t raised perfect or anything but definitely different. I don’t consider either right or wrong it’s just some families are raised differently. My husband isn’t like the way he was raised but there’s still differences between us but we have grown together and made our lives the way we want it and that’s how we raised our kids and dealt with things around the house.
I think by the statement you made “ I feel like i downgraded my lifestyle” really makes it seem like your to good for your husband so it might be hard for you to make things work. I know you said you got married quickly but I’m sure it wasn’t overnight right after meeting him so how didn’t you see anything like all the things you’ve mentioned? If you continue you with the attitude that you and your family is better then things likely won’t work unfortunately.
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My husband and I were raised COMPLETELY different, and are absolute opposites! We had some issues in the beginning, but we figured it out-because we loved each other! We just make sure to communicate! Marriage isn’t easy, but nothing worth having is! Honestly, you need to check yourself with that “I downgraded” attitude, I would never think about my husband that way!
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Maybe we should date men a couple years to get to know all we can about them to see if we fit!
So you rushed into a marriage with a man you knew nothing about? Now you’re surprised it’s not working? Marriage is serious business and you don’t seem to know that. Leave! And next time don’t rush into a marriage with a stranger
So I have dealt with this exact thing. We didn’t rush a marriage but it did seem to get way worse after marriage.
I was raised completely different then he was. My husband was raised exactly liked yours and very well off financially.
I was raised much like you was for the most part.
Most of our marriage issues have came from the differences. He strongly believes a woman should raise the kids, clean, cook, and keep everything up to par. He believes It’s not a mans responsibility. His mom never worked and did do it all. I am not a stay at home mother because he frowns upon that but still believes i should do the other stuff I mentioned. He kinda think he should work and do what’s best for him while and do that for the kids and I.
It has made our marriage very very difficult. We have had to work through a ton of different issues because of our upbringing. It can be done but you have to work extra hard at it. Communication is key…