My husband and I have 0 communication: Advice?

My husband and I have been married for 6 months but on and off for six years. For the last three weeks, we have been at each other’s throats constantly. If not arguing, then its the silent treatment. Both of us guilty. This past Thurs, he left for work (he works 3rd shift) and has not come home since. We have not spoken a word, and I haven’t seen him. I have no idea where he is staying. Today he came to our house while I was gone picking up my son from school, and he got some of his clothes and toiletries and was gone before I got back. I noticed as soon as I got home but still no form of communication what so ever. What should I do??? I’m at a loss.

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Um…sounds like he just left you…and may be cheating on you

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Sounds like yall are “off” again. Sorry. How long was your last “on” stretch before you got married?

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Change locks if he can’t get In when you ain’t home he has to grow up and talk to you

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Tell him to come home or to stay gone and go file for a dissolution and find a man not a man child.

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He is prob sick of it and needs space. I’d let him have it

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Sounds like he left you … if he can just grab his clothes and leave without saying a word, that only shows how childish he is. Like you said, both of you are to blame for not communicating but it doesnt seem like either of you are even trying (just what I got from reading the post). Do you really wanna be married to someone you cant even talk to?

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Sounds like its time to come to term… You keep your head up and take care of them babies. Forget him.

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My advice is you are lucky he left. I have been with mine for 32 years…0 communication for the last 10. Expects the world for his monetary contribution. Change the locks? Is he on the lease or mortgage?

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I’m sorry hun, sounds like he left you. Dont do on and off and on again relationships, it builds a lack of trust and a lack of commitment, let this be your last “off” period.

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He definitely needs to talk to you, even if he decides to leave. I would tell him that you do not have to tolerate that behavior and it crosses your boundaries in your relationship. Come home and talk about it! Period.

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Give him space. Whats ment to be will… Take care of yourself . reflect on why you guys fight and mayb you will find the answers exspecially thinking alone… If its been on and off like this for years and he is cheating i myself would not let him have me again. Your not a toy . your a forgiving woman im assuming but something you cant change and the things you can do… You got this… Dont go to deep just as where you needs to stay alert.whats done int he dark always comes to light

Tbh from the sounds of it neither of you want this relationship I would split for your child’s sake arguments distory childhoods but he should be making an effort with his son arrange a coffee and have a good chat no matter the outcome that child needs to be ok x

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Ask him what’s up. U already know. But there needs to be communication on it so both parties are on the same page.

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Tell him to come back and fix things or come back & get the rest of his stuff. This on again, off again business is crap! Good luck to you & your kids💞

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Girl give him some space and do your own thing and then after a few days be an adult and call him. You guys have a child and need to talk. If it turns confrontational then say that when you guys can calm down you can try again to figure this out. But maybe try and figure out why your at his throat? Maybe try to figure out if this is how you want your son to be raised? Maybe try couples therapy?

What a child. Get a lawyer, file for divorce! Change the locks on all the doors! Count your blessings, and, don;t take the loser back. Life is too short to have to put up with that sort of thing.

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I would consider things over and talk about separation. Why would you want the misery to continue?

Sound liked he left you girl

Honestly, you’re both at fault and at this rate, one of u was going to leave. Who wants to live like that!!! Whenever I’m annoyed or upset pissed off, if it gets to the point of silent treatment I ask myself, is this issue worth my relationship? If not then yes, I give because I’d rather be happy than be right. I have a clear cut method that I use in my marriage tho…and that’s to treat my husband like hes my boyfriend. When I wake up in the morning, hes gone for work so I always text him goodmorning and thru the day. I make sure I kiss him when he walks in the door, and just often in general. I flirt with him. I make myself pretty mostly for myself but a little for him too. I initiate sex and I dont withhold that for ANY reason. I make it a point to have sex often because that’s honestly what brings us together and nomatter what I always even with 3 kids make time for the 2 of us. If your marriage is important and you love the man, dont be this way. Maybe hes this way too but all you can do is change YOUR way and hope he follows. If he comes back, make it different this time.

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Time to get an annulment or a divorce and leave each other the hell alone. You sound like a toxic hot mess to each other.

COMMUNICATION
You both need to be adults and sit down and talk.

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I could’ve wrote this a year ago. Divorce was hard but the best for both.

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It hasn’t been working for 6 years move on for yourself and your son. You are setting an example

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Obviously you need to reevaluate your relationship its not healthy if I were you I would have been filled for divorce

Everyone jumps to a divorce so quickly.

I’d suggest marriage counseling.

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Sounds like it’s time for you two to part ways for good in my opinion. No relationship can be successful without communication, period. Change the locks and consider changing your outlook on this relationship as well girl. If this has been the situation for the last 6 years, why stay in a toxic status, when you can let go and better yourselves?

Uh, he’s been gone a week and you’ve had no communication whatsoever? The marriage sounds pretty over to me. Marriage is a partnership. Taking space is one thing, but there is a way to even go about that. Taking a day or two and letting your spouse know you’re going to stay at a family member or friends house while you both reset and collect yourselves is one thing, but this is toxic. I’d be done.

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I would get a lawyer just because you said you are married and if he just left without saying anything, you don’t know what his.motoves are. Try to take a few days for yourself if possible to cry out any stress and pamper yourself then you can start to think with a clear mind. The most important priority is your child, and if he could just leave without saying a word, and not even have the decency to call or text, then you should consider if he is the one for you. I wish you success whichever route you choose :heartpulse:

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I’m not understanding…

Silent as in your husband hasnt been home in 6 days and you havent even texted and said “hey, where the hell are you?”

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Change the locks lol he’s made his choice clearly

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Text him or call him to figure out what’s going on?

Maybe marriage counseling to figure out how to deal with your communication problem

I don’t know. COMMUNICATE? :woman_facepalming:t4::roll_eyes:

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Divorce and move on. To toxic for both parties

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100% of your 50% of the relationship. I know it’s hard but if your being the bigger person maybe her will come around…
If you’ve noticed he’s taken stuff maybe start the conversation there…

Sounds like he’s done with you. The on again off again before marriage should have told you something.

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Call a good lawyer. It appears he is done with you and the marriage.

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Well the first red flag is “on and off again”…

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If you both cant learn to communicate then what’s the point?

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Sigh Decide if you love him or not. Divorce if you are still married for reasons like Convenience, Personal Insecurity, Finances, etc. If you still love him, call him, apologize, tell him you want him and that you are willing to work on it. Ask him to come home. THE ROAD BACK WILL BE HARDER THAN QUITTING. If you don’t, file for divorce in the morning so you can both move on and find happiness, your son deserves better than two emotional children as parents.

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My bf and I only fight every so often and over stupid shit but we always manage to apologize and come back stronger because of it. Communication in a relationship is key. If you don’t have that, then you don’t have a relationship.

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You and him sound childish. Hes gone a week and you havent said anything because you expect him to? Just get a divorce now. Yall make young married couples look bad for divorcing so soon no offence lol.

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Without communication, you have no marriage.

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I didn’t realize that coming home was an option when you are married… I think you should really re-evaluate your self worth and this relationship because this behavior should not be acceptable.

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Sounds like the marriage is over. He couldn’t handle the stress of the constant arguing and silent treatment. He’s done.

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Sounds like “normal” (between you two), repetitive behaviour & now you’re married you probably thought it would get better but only gotton worse I’m guessing for the cry of help. Therefore I suggest to make the breakup official. Separate properly & arrange shared care of kid/s. Move on.

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Bottom line is, this relationship clearly isn’t healthy for either one of you to continue. Most importantly, you have a son, who is learning this as normal behavior when it isn’t really a healthy adult relationship. Please consider what he is learning by watching this, and perhaps get counseling for you both to process this. I wish you luck, and happiness in your future.:heart:

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Move on. Y’all are both toxic.

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I think he’s done with the relationship - he should talk to you but clearly communication isn’t your strong suite, id just let it go

Call an attorney. File for a divorce. He’s done.