What do you do when you and your s/o have no sex life, yet he’s always on porn sites, playboy sites, jerking off. I get that all men do it, well most. I get it’s natural. The only reason it bothers me is it makes me feel ignored or that I’m not good enough, and I don’t turn him on.
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Ask and tell him you want it
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I’m sorry, but I don’t think that’s normal at all:(
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You need to get up in there and play out some of them scenes together…everyone gets in a rut…just personal experience though so I don’t know
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He can’t read your mind , tell him you want his cock! Maybe he thinks you don’t want him too
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Watch it together 
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You get used to it and learn to plz yourself . I was on bed rest and pelvic rest my entire pregnancy and that’s what he used to please himself and now that we have the baby he continues to watch it and doesn’t try to have sex with me anymore. We have had sex one time in 12 weeks but yet he is always watching porn.
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I dont see why he needs to watch it when he has the real thing at home. Try and seduce him let him know you want him
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get yourself a sex toy? maybe watch porn? use your fingers:woman_shrugging:
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Do you try to initiate sex at all? He might feel like he’s the one doing it all the time which makes him feel rather unwanted.
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That’d piss me off I’d sit him down and ask him what’s up
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I don’t find this weird at all, if this was my situation I’d watch porn with him. I’m sorry this bothers you though. I hope you can solve your issue.
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If he is watching porn yet ignoring you it is a issue!
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Its not normal is he is not having sex with you. Something is wrong.
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Communication. Figure out why you have no sex life, and what each of you want/expect. I hate when men use “well all men do it”. Because they all don’t.
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More communication? Some studies suggest that porn can actually harm sexual relations if it is watched in eccess… maybe express how you feel to him, if he is in the relationship as much as you are he will be willing to try and find ways the two of you can make it work. It’s an awful assumption but they also say if you are being ignored sexually his attentions could be elsewhere. Hope it goes well for you 
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Wild idea talk to your husband explain yourself and how you feel brain storm ideas
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If my man was watching so much porn that I felt neglected, that would be a HUGE problem for me and maybe ultimately a deal breaker? You should be his number one so he better act like it. Speak up and dont be afraid to say exactly what’s on your mind. Men are dense as FUCK!
I don’t think it is normal at all. Porn is terrible and ruins marriages all the time. It should be avoided. I definitely wouldn’t start watching it yourself. Communication is huge. You should both definitely sit down and discuss the underlying issue.
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If he’s not turning you on then you should try turning him on. Buy you a sex toy and use it in front of him if that doesn’t make him stand to attention for you file the paperwork
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Talk to him… Initiate it… Maybe hes found a new fetish and he thinks you wouldnt be into it… Communication is a key…
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Have you asked him what’s the reason for all this ?? Why is he like that
My husband had a huge issue in the beginning of relationship like on borderline addiction but I say him down and explained how it made me feel and told him I don’t mind do what you got to do but you need to cut back on watching he still does from time to time now very rarely also it’s good to experiment in the bedroom have fun try new things you never know what you like until you try that could really help get him excited
I don’t think it would be so bad if you were having sex AND he watched porn…however if your sex life is down the pan but he’s meeting his own needs then the issue clearly needs addressing! I personally would be pissed off!
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Hell no I would not put up with that nonsense. It’s selfish and shows a lack of concern for you.
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I caught my husband watching porn when I turned on the Bluetooth headset coz I was gonna use it and didn’t know at first it would automatically connect to his phone, heard gurl moaning and I hurriedly ran to our bedroom, said, “what’s up?!” He was so embarrassed! Told him I feel not good enough or ugly when he does that. It’s the second time. I’m pregnant and morning sickness is horrible so we don’t have sex for 3 months now.
Give up I stayed for an extra 20 yrs an. proves it will never come back
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First question is why do you not have sex, Is it him or you or both that does not want it .
Get off Facebook and TALK to your husband 
These people cant fix your issues, find out from the source.
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NO Ma’am its NOT NORMAL! Not ALL Men lock themselves in the bathroom touching themselves while having an Egar Wife to participate. Men are just as responsible for the level of intimacy in the marriage as thier Wife! Too many ladies are TOLERATING this Disrespectful behavior being crammed down thier throats and Labeled NORMAL! And to have Anyone tell you to Watch it with him is bc they have gotten use to WAITING for thier man to Dine at thier table after reviewing a different menu! The FACT is, ITS SELFISH the ONLY Needs being met are HIS plain and simple. In all my years I have never heard anyone say Porn SAVED my marriage! But you’re statement proves it DESTROYS them!
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Tell him it’s not acceptable, if he can’t meet your needs then you tell him you will go get pleasure. Get a toy leave it on under the pillow before he goes to be bed. He will ask what the heck, say well if you are not willing to have sex then I’ll find other means. It makes them feel the same way you are feeling. If that doesn’t work nor the talking to, go out with friends. Do not cheat at all but leave a few hours for him to wonder, it often turns his attention back to you. It seems pretty but it works. Make sure you are trying though, wearing make up or doing your hair atleast. So many times people get to lazy in relationships and stop trying without noticing they let their selves go.
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Maybe should try watching it together it might help spark intimacy
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Mine started off as us watching porn together then turned into him answering ads from men asking for threesomes. Now we are seperated
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Leave him.he has no respect for your feelings
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Ohh hell NAWWWW. he gotta GOOOO. Im sorry Sis. If my man did all that but ignored me it would be permanent. He would no longer even have a choice if he decided he wanted an actual real woman
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Tell him you want to watch it with him might help in more ways than one
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Off topic: Some of these comments are crazy, man. If you have to watch porn while having sex (in order to “get off”)…that’s SAD. Have ya’ll not heard of being in the moment together? 
That’s REAL intimacy for most.
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Porn while having a healthy mutual sex life no biggie. Wanting to have sex with your husband and all he wants is porn big issue. You have to talk to him and maybe even couples therapy
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He has a porn addiction.
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If you put the time and energy into your intimacy and had some of a sex life even if once or twice a week I’m sure you would see a decrease in his web history. Be thankful his outlet is porn and he’s not cheating 
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Your husband is now delivered from the spirit of pornography
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Watch with him? Jerk him off while you watch and have him play with you…
Look into betrayal trauma recovery for yourself and sex and porn addiction for him. The information will be a jumping off point for a series of serious conversations between you and him.
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My husband and I said that if we are home and one has to watch porn to get off instead of have sex then we have a problem and need to figure it out.
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I dont think that’s normal. I would have a convo with him about how you feel right away. My husband never watches porn and we have a very active sex life. If he wasn’t wasting time with porn then you guys could find the mystery between each other and explore that and it takes time but it gets easier and its amazing. I’ve been with my husband since age 17 and we still find new ways to make things exciting and it’s better now than ever even after 2 kids and being old and over 30 
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There is just so much more that you could be doing together than to sit there and let him ignore you like that. He has a problem, clearly. Just leave 
You deserve sex too!!!
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Maybe he thinks you don’t want him …men wanna feel like your attracted him n get attention and, love too it not all on him to start sex and give you ATTENTION … You should try to dress up do things to make him feel wanted… Seems like effort isn’t being done with intimacy with either of you… You make effort n move to try to fix it.
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I wouldn’t worry about him having his alone time but seems odd he has no desire for sexual activity with you. Seems like you two need to sit down and get on the same page. You would think his hand wouldn’t cover all the desire having the real thing in front of him. You two need to get to the bottom of this
If you want it, yes there is a prob and you need to discuss it. If you dont want it, let him do his thing.
Its not normal or natural…
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remember it takes two!! Ask questions see what he whats play the fantasy game with him. As long as it doesnt cross your boundries do it. All my wife has to do is look at me touch her self and its on!!!
Honestly… I started watching with my husband… brand new beginning!
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When did sex stop. Maybe hes watching because hes not getting it.
Adilene read all the comments 
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Not normal. Seek therapy or talk to him about it and try to fix the problem.
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Main question would be how long has this been going on? Then, Has he always watched porn? Have you always had an issue with him watching it? Did he know? Has anything changed in your relationship, like a new child etc.? Gives a bit of info about me, but hopefully the sender reads this… My husband has always looked at porn and we’d even look at it together. Now, we have a 3 month old baby and I had a cesarean and we had to stop having sex about halfway through my pregnancy due to risks. Needless to say, we barely have had time until very recently because baby sleeps. Anyways, he would watch porn and masterbate every other day. Only time I’d get any affection was when he was trying to get a quickie. Now we had a very healthy and fun sex life before all this… But I had to confront him with my issues/feelings for him to see the issue I was having. Now had he stopped watching porn? No, but it not as frequent and I honestly try to make a point to at least once or twice a week to have sexy time… The biggest take away is talk with him, no one is a mind reader. Now if he doesn’t care about your feelings or is not attracted to you or is just a complete ass… There’s a series step you have to decide to take with that relationship and decide if it is worth saving.
I don’t get this at all. I want to have sex with my wife all the time. If I had to choose between porn or her, I’d be on her before she’d finish the sentence. Now the not understanding is if he watches porn over you but if you only want to have sex once a week, well than thats your fault
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Depends…are you offering sex or wanting to have a sex life with him? Some women have very low sex drive or just don’t like it and just think the guy should hang in there until they are in the mood eventually. In this case…he should be allowed to enjoy some sort of sex life if your not interested. If you are interested and offer or want to…then yes that might be a problem. Talk with him about it…this is something that you guys can work through.
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Sonia Perkins you’ll like the comments
Ummm no that’s not ok. Watching it is cool…pleasuring himself is normal…but completely leaving you out of those scenarios is not!!
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Maybe go out of ur way a bit more to try and turn him on?
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What sort of porn is he watching? Is it stuff he maybe fantasises about and has never spoken up about? I wouldn’t be happy if my other half was watching porn and not going near me, I’d feel massively insecure and start to wonder why he preferred looked at naked women online and not me so I get why you feel threatened by it. Sounds like he loves the visual side of things and maybe it’s just a quick release for him because he just wants to get off and nothing to do with not wanting you, but he’s not gonna if he’s doing that 
best thing is to talk to him, try and get an idea from him about why he watches so much and then work on getting your intimacy back. He should be paying you attention but it does work both ways, you need to entice him so that he remembers you’re his sexy wife and you can go back to having amazing sex. When it’s been a while it’s harder to initiate and then you just end up not doing it at all so hopefully the porn is a habit he can break it is very addicting and I know guys are incredibly visual. They get a rush finding that next hot video and living out their fantasies so maybe it’s time to make things exciting between you again. When was the last time you bought sexy underwear or something he’d have a reaction to if you wore it for him?
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Not normal, if your willing and able he should be between your legs not on the computer
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When i was pregnant with my third daughter, I had like no sex drive, we didnt have sex for probably a good 6-8 months straight… but f we times at the end of my pregnancy I did masturbate a few times, because i was stressed (I had 2 other toddlers also and was babysitting 2-4 more) but sometime masturbation is just quicker and easier to relieve stress, doesn’t take as much energy when your already tired… maybe he’s just really stressed and tired… or he could just have an addiction that effecting yalls sex life… you just have to talk to him and communicate… if its a porn addiction he should probably go to therapy or something…
I’d feel the same way. I’m completely fine with my Hubby watching porn when I can’t be available to him, but we have an understanding that he should always try to get time with me before jerking off. I mean, I wanna get laid as much as he does.
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I would consider that he might have a porn addiction at that point and consider counseling with a CSAT. If it doesn’t get better and he refuses, I personally would leave.
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Maybe try watching it with him ALOT of guys are into that, but if you engage with him, it might help!
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Seems like hes just not into you.
Some Men do have porn addictions and It can ruin relationships and marriages bc he’s stuck in a fantasy land.
Something you may want to sit down and have a talk with him. He will get defensive bc he’s more than likely ashamed of It.
Either he seeks help or move on.
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Try watching with him. It works
Avoiding you in favor of jerking off to porn is not normal.
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OP should message me as I’ve gone though this with my SO but I dont want to get into it publically
Sounds to me like he doesn’t want a sex life with you and instead of cheating on you he does it through porn
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I think it is sad people are blaming you for his porn addiction problem. It doesn’t matter how much you have sex or try to have sex they will still go to porn. Porn addiction is very serious. People trivialize it and make it small but it destroys marriages and the people addicted. It’s not healthy or normal for his behavior. You will know he is addicted if he gets defensive or act like you are crazy. He needs help and counseling. You guys can get through it but you have to be tough and stand your ground.
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Well maybe he likes something and does know how to tell you
My husband never masturbates and it bothers the shit out of me. Lol
First off I cant believe other women are blaming her and saying its normal and just do it with him 🤦🤦🤦 zero self respect
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Not normal, and disrespectful to all women.
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Just have a talk about your sex life. Be open, honest and real. Get on the same page and talk about how to be more active in that area. Maybe he’s afraid to tell you something and turns to other things not realizing that hurts you.
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My x did the same always and then hollars out hey babe come up stairs after over an hour most time ignoring me and leaving me down stairs… I did the same to him after him doing it to me for over 3yrs…walked past him naked as the day I was born, went up stairs with my Peter rabbit toy & a movie ready for him LMAO called him up stairs to be involved in the play date as much as me 
and boy was he pissed 
karma is a cunt they say. Now we are no longer together because of it 
fucking twat got a taste of what it now feels like
Ask him, maybe he is going through something and he wants the satisfaction without the effort, it happens
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He just needs a room mate and not a wife, your are being used!
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The reason you have no sex life is because he has a porn addiction.
Tell him to get help or get out.
Would you stay with a drug addict that didn’t care about your relationship? If not, you know what to do.
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Time to become the porn star mama, sometimes its about the fantasy
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Its not normal if he is doing it all the time and doing nothing with you , talk to him about it or leave
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Not normal or acceptable, sorry I wouldn’t be with my husband if he did this… how can people say it normal? Guys being guys? Hell no its not !!! Its a crude addiction and doesn’t belong in a marriage!
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I might be an odd one out here but I don’t think porn in a relationship is normal, it’s just normalized. Some people are okay with it, and that’s fine for them but there’s others (like myself) who aren’t and are made to feel like we’re not allowed to feel this way. I’d try talking to him for sure if you haven’t already, let him know how you’re feeling. I hope things get better
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Is it an addiction at this point?
I’m 71 I’m addicted to porn but I’m 100lbs over weight besides I really don’t want to have sex I just want the orgasm just call me crazy
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Porn is not normal, it is normalized. I’ll say it again, porn is not normal, it is normalized. It’s disrespectful. He should think about you and your feelings and a porn addiction is a serious problem.
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Have you tried initiating it? Or having a conversation about it? Maybe incorporate the porn into your sex life
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You need to voice to him that you are a rational woman who doesn’t mind porn but as long as there’s that sex life between the two of you as well. Ask if there’s anything you two can do to make it more spicey? But don’t feel like you are to blame if he is bored it is not your fault and porn is an unrealistic and u healthy standard for sex.
He could be cheating on you hun, follow your 1st instincts.
Not normal!! I’m sure any man would prefer the reall thing than their own hand all the time… have you tried to spice it up …watch porn with him?
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That crap is not even worth dealing with. I’d just leave. Even if he were to say he’s going to stop… there’s like a 97% he won’t and then you will end up being even more mad. Too many women do the boys will be boys excuse and then are angry 24/7. If something hurts your feelings and he knows and continues to do it there is no excuse.
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Went through the same thing! He has a problem and it needs to be addressed. Plus it really makes you depressed because you feel like your not good enough. It actually blows my mind that someone would want to watch it than partaking in it, you know with a real person 
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First of all there could be more going on than meets the eye . your sex life could be boring and have grown stale . yes i agree most men watch porn and it isa lot easier to do that than have relations with the sig other but , that does not make it right . it appeals to the. Sensual side and a man can get off with worrying about if the other person enjoyed it .also it is highly addictive and as awoman i find it hard to believe that true intimacy is to be shared if i know my man has been watching porn .is he really making love to me verses just getting off because he is envisioning the dirty person doing god only knows what .porn is a trap .
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Sooo… this is going to be a very unpopular response it seems. But you should be 100% comfortable with your husband and what happens behind your doors with your husband should ever make you feel ashamed.
With that said. Try sending your husband a video of you, and before you finish tell him you are in the other room to save his hand some time. Or something along those lines. If that doesnt work that you should definitely fine a way to talk and work out the issue because it isnt fair to you.
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I think the thrill is gone…he’s not interested! Talk the truth with him.
Try watching it with him.
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