If it wasn’t a discussion before you were married then he is just wanting to cheat without consequences. Ask him if he’d be okay with you having another partner
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Good luck with that one lol
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Poly is more than spicing things up. Those that are poly have relationships with multiple people. You date others, he dates others, and you may date people together as well. Like any other relationship, it can move forward to the point of living together if things progress.
Comparing this to an open marriage where each person can have physical relationships with others, but not emotional.
You have to consider if this is something you’re willing to pursue long term. Once you open this door, it’s not easy to close.
He is just looking for permission to cheat
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Just leave. Don’t change yourself and expectations of a relationship just to hold on to a man. Who’s to say his coworker even wants to be with him? If she’s said that she does, he’s been cheating already. Let him go for your own sake.
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Polygamy isn’t something you decide to do just out of nowhere. It takes a lot of discussion, thought, and boundaries. I’d first think if this is something you’d be willing to do, then sit down and discuss it with him before coming up with a solution. As someone who was once in an open relationship, it’s not a lifestyle for everyone.
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I’d tell him not to worry about the poly part because the moment he approaches me and says something like that our marriage is over because there is no way he loves me with eyes for another woman🤷🏼♀️ Sorry you’re even considering it hun, MANY ways to spice things up he just wants his cake and to eat it too IMHO!
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Wants his cake and eat it too. Tell him you want to bring another man into it too and see how he reacts. 100% bet he won’t be down for it. He just wants to cheat and is trying to figure out a way to do it. Also 100% bet if you say no, he’ll pursue a relationship with her anyway.
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This will never end well for your marriage. Worst decision ever! I’m truly sad for you and he absolutely cherished you, he wouldn’t desire her.
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Tell him that openly cheating on you is not a poly relationship. You may feel you won’t mind now but it will eat away slowly at your relationship. He basically wants to have an affair without feeling guilty about it. Spicing things up can be a very dangerous and destructive path. If you are nervous you will lose him, then it’s even more dangerous. I’d concentrate more on why you feel nervous about losing him. Otherwise I’d focus on finding someone who wants to be with just you.
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He will leave you as you are no longer an interest to him sad that you are open to this…
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Know your worth! If you’re not the only woman for him, he’s not man enough for you!
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Helllllll no,
A- mental breakdown probably beat his a$$ go to jail (I know I’m horrible but who tf asks that)
B- move leave his shit set it on fire idc
C hoe phase and listen to them cry
D become emotionless
E slowly heal and never do it again.
There’s a difference between poly and an open relationship.
Polyamory is inviting another person into the relationship, they are equally yours as they are the partners. This sounds more like him wanting an open relationship where you’re the partner but he can see other people.
Everyone is very quick to judge. However I feel you should strongly communicate on the topic. Along with that if this is only being brought up now it could seem a little suspicious. Especially given he had become attracted to another person BEFORE communicating this topic.
Realistically you both need to sit down together and formally discuss things. About your marriage, whether you’re both happy, what needs improving in etc. the topic of being poly or open isn’t necessarily an issue as long as there is complete openness n communication. No going behind the other persons back or being sly. Everything should be spoken about.
End of the day it comes down to what you want and whether you are comfortable with that arrangement or not. Communication is key.
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This will ruin your marriage. If he wants someone else he doesn’t love you.
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If your husband was truly interested in Poly this would have been a conversation BEFORE he became interested in another woman. The true test of his desire to be poly is how he would feel if you engage with another man. And I would be willing to bet he would be nearly as okay with that. Your husband is literally just asking for permission to cheat in an incredibly manipulative way. Cut your losses. Walk away.
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I also have to add I’m stunned that you are actually even considering this. Smh…
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It never ends well, do not go there.
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My husband better just go ahead and file for divorce before he comes to me with some stuff like that. We didn’t do any of that stuff BEFORE our vows, so it was not a part of the agreed upon arrangement. He’s trying to be slick and engage in some kind of consensual cheating so he doesn’t feel bad, and so that he can flip it around and say “but you agreed” if you ever try to say anything. Let me tell you that I would laugh in my husbands face if he ever came to me with something like that.
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He’s looking for a way to cheat. See if he’s good with you doing the same. Bet those barriers aren’t as lax as his.
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Let them roll away together 
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Lol what?? 5 years?? That’s it lol … idk that’s on you
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What a way to cheat!! Ask for your permission 1st 
kick his ass to the curb before he does it with her behind your back
It sounds like this isn’t something you’re particularly comfortable with, and your happiness would be at jeopardy. I wouldnt do it
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I’ve heard this same story so many times and it never ends well. Don’t allow it. You will regret it
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If you can have a poly to with a man. My opinion only, if you agree anything can happen.
There’s a different between poly and open relationship.
An open relationship is one where one or both partners have a desire for sexual relationships outside of each other, and polyamory is about having intimate, loving relationships with multiple people.
You’re probably wanting to do open relationship. And if that’s the case put yourself on tinder or whatever is the new dating app, and make him jealous at all the dates you’ll get.
I’ve seen too many reddit posts about men who are upset and want to close the relationship because their girl is getting affection from other people.
If you guys do choose to have an open relationship, then you also need to set rules. As in, they can’t bring their date to y’all’s house. So any sex must be at the other person’s place, because you guys share your home or if the relationship gets serious the other must know about it, and also open communication even if it’s difficult to hear/talk about. Things like that. Rules put to paper and signed for both understanding. If someone breaks a rule or whatever then there are consequences.
I’m not sure as I’ve never been in an open relationship before but these are just some things I’ve learned about.
No don’t. If you have no experience with the poly dynamic it’s just him wanting to cheat but let you know about it.
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Tiktok sure make poly relationships popular.
You already lost him girl,he just needs your permission to cheat freely.
It’s either divorce or you can tell him you want another man in it too,see if he likes that!
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Gross. You have only been together 5 years and losing the spark is not a good sign but poly is not the way to go about it. Sounds like he honestly just wants to see other people 
provides him an outlet you give him the spark that you are lacking.
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No, sounds like he wants to cheat. And wants your permission to do so.
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Hell no don’t fall for it
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There’s no going back once you open that door. I couldn’t do it personally, my man is mine only. If you want to spice things up there are other avenues to explore without bringing other people into your relationship. Tbh I feel like the whole thing makes the marriage void. To me it sounds like he just wants permission to cheat. How would he feel if you did that to him? Would he be okay with you being with another man? Doubt it.
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Poly isn’t a way to “spice things up” it’s a lifestyle people live. Poly relationships are hard because everyone is equal. Nah…no one more important than me and him.
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You will also go and experience other man or its gonna be him only to enjoy 2 women at a go?
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Your clearly not enough for him and thats why he’s looking to get into another relationship with another woman… me personally I’d walk away. You should be spicing it up between yourselves not watching your man with another woman
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Maybe I’m old fashioned but a marriage is between two people
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You should expect him to leave your relationship bc that’s what he’s doing, and also he’s showing you how little he respects you.
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Just don’t. This is an awful situation you’re thinking of getting yourself into. Marriage is a covenant between two people. Inviting others in will put a strain on your marriage, and will be allowing him to cheat right in front of you. Put love and desire into your marriage, and if he is looking for other women, he should be looking at the backside of your door.
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Tell him yes, sure. Then go and find your own hot bit on the side and see how he likes it.
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Divorce is how you work that situation.
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She would have to be bisexual? Right?
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Communication, lots of communication poly can work and be amazing but there needs to be lots of work out into it.
If u do agree just make sure he knows it goes both ways and you can have Friends too 
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He wants permission to cheat… I’d ask for a divorce and move along before things get messy…
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As someone who went into a “poly” relationship suddenly, don’t. Start getting your ducks in a row to leave.
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As someone who has many friends in the poly community, poly can work if both people have a clear understanding of it AND want it. If you do not, you need to be honest and tell him that.
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If you have any doubt or 2nd guesses, do not do it. Cause if you say it’s okay & he does something then you change your mind, it’s gonna hurt you.
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You should expect divorce.
Poly is something to talk about fully. Not him going ahead alone and letting you know onces hes already found someone.
It’s something that should of been discussed before hand in detail with rules
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Don’t do it, it will change your relationship forever. You can never undo or forget. Only do it if you are 100 percent into to it. If you want to spice things up then try role playing or toys etc…
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Tell him you have your eye on another guy and see how he reacts 
bet he won’t like that. I’d just leave, not worth what’s coming…
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I wouldn’t allow this… but some couples enjoy it… why even be married if you want to be with other people… that’s not marriage!
I would ask him how he would feel if you have a male partner as well!
This is insane to me… best of luck to you!
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You need to make sure it’s something you really want. If you are the jealous type I can tell you now it will not work for you. And you need to think about it for a while before you make a decision, it’s will be a serious dynamic change in your relationship.
I agree with what some others have said. If yall have been together for 5 years and he was actually into the poly lifestyle that should’ve come up a long time ago. This dude definitely just wants to cheat on you so get out while you can and avoid the heartbreak
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That’s not called marriage. He is just looking for a way out and an excuse if you are okay with it. You need to remind yourself that you are worth more than that. You hold your head up high and let him know he screwed up and if he doesn’t love you, he can go because you love yourself enough to never be with a man who wants another when he has you.
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I’m amazed at how many people on here are describing poly-relationships and not knowing at all what it is. 
Don’t do it! I’m sorry but I feel he is already gone! But let him try to pursue this girl that he likes at work? For her to find out that he’s married and then she tells him? I’m sorry I don’t mess with married men! Problem averted!  doesn’t polyamorous mean you’re bringing another person into your relationship as a couple. If he just wants to cheat then you can go cheat and have each outside relationship from your marriage? Be totally separate. Just let him try to tell this woman what he wants to do? For her to hopefully laugh right in his face and tell him about himself!
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He just wants to openly cheat…
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Dont! & if you Do, be ready for a way to be good financially on your own for an easy exit.
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Do it. It could be wonderful. My husband and i have been together just short of 10 years. We are poly. Its beautiful. We both are into some different things and we both believe no one person can satisfy another 100%. Prime example…I’m bisexual. My husband will never be a woman. Therefore i wouldn’t get to have those experiences. But with our relationship, i can have my cake and eat it too. So can he. I think its beautiful to be able to live multiple people without feeling like you’re doing something wrong. And its not “cheating without concequences,” its just a different kind of relationship.
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WHY would you F with your head like that ? Your husband doing such a good Judge with his family he has extra everything to give to someone else at work because believe men the side chick ALWAYS wants more.
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Do you have kids? Think of your kids before making any decision.
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Not for me personally but I know it works for some. If it’s something you both want then you should sit down and set ground rules befor bringing in another person(s) if you can avoid the jealous feeling or if you start to feel it immediately sit down and talk it out. But remember once you open that door you may not be able to close it and may loose your husband in the process.
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I just got paid $7789 working off my laptop this month. And if you think that’s cool, my divorced friend has twin toddlers and made over $ 12038 her first month. It feels so good making so much money when other people have to work for so much less.
This is what I do… https://millionsworth339.pages.dev/
It almost never works this way. It’s best to enter a relationship with poly intentions. When in a monogamous relationship it’s almost impossible to switch up. If you do choose to pursue this, you both need to sit down and set clear boundaries and expectations.
Best of luck
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Just make sure that it’s what you really want and are comfortable with beforehand. I don’t mean to scare you or seem judge mental. To each their own yanno. But sometimes people think they’re ok with something like that and it turns out they’re not and can create problems for and/or destroy a relationship/marriage. I knew a woman who entered into a poly relationship and I asked her about how she handled it and she said it was difficult. It wasn’t a healthy relationship in my opinion. That doesn’t mean it never works out but it’s just something to ponder beforehand.
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What an earth am I reading so basically he’s cheated on you proberly for months he’s caught feelings for someone eles and is trying to get out of it …
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you want to spice things up buy a butt plug not a another wife
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Being poly is not something to “spice things up”… You should expect to get divorced eventually🤷🏾♀️
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Girl, you’ve only been married for five years and he already wants to open it up?! Poly relationships take a lot of work and commitment because it’s an entire lifestyle that you BOTH have to choose and want 100%. They can’t be one sided, which means that you also need to go out and get yourself another partner or you’ll become jealous and resentful. It won’t work if you’re not into it and if your husband only wants it because he’s a cake eater. Tbh, it sounds like he wants to cheat with your permission. If he wants out of your marriage, give it to him, and find yourself a better, more deserving man.
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Smh 
THIS IS NOT HOW A POLY STARTS OUT… he wants an open marriage… not poly.
Open marriage is when you have a free pass to cheat, polly is a relationship with specific group people.

He’s NOT a doing this to spice things up, you are not invited to be part of him & that girl at work. 
Smh you guys need to sit down and seriously have a talk about this if you’re going to do it, you need to make a list of rules he needs to make a list of rules and then you need to come together and do the final rules. If you do not do these rules and respect them you could pretty much kiss your marriage goodbye.
just by your post I’m going to tell you right now I don’t think you’re gonna like it I don’t think you’ll get what you need out of it meaning “the same affection”
……
couple rules that should be basic….
Absolutely no relationships at the workplace… NONE
No sharing unless both are present.
…………………
If you guys are serious about this, look up swingers clubs there’s a lot of them local maybe look on Facebook groups. Go to a barbecue the people are really cool and you will see each couple has rules. That they respect and go by. 
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Oh HELL NO !!!
He’s using this as an excuse to cheat.
I mean all of a sudden it’s brought up 
Did you ask if you can sleep with other guys ??
It would be a hard no !! For me . But I don’t share my 
. My husband knows this lol we both don’t share what is ours. Yes we had a talk about this . Saw it in a movie years ago. And we both said never gonna happen.
I personally think someone is gonna get screwed up in the situation. It’s gonna end messy with 1 partner hurt. But alot of people are choosing this as. Lifestyle.
You have to just decide if this is something you can be ok with.
No shame in whatever you chose. It’s your life.
Best of luck hun .
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Idk. It’s not for everyone. But if your willing then why not. However, if you have any single doubt. Then just don’t.
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Personally I would have appreciated the mere fact that he expressed himself instead of just flat out cheated. I respect for him in that concept. Now if you are not ok with it just flat our tell him. And if you alone are not good enough for him then he needs to move on and you should separate. But if you do not mind it and you want to pursue another relationship then by all means. There are polly relationships that work out. You just have to be up front and truthful the ENTIRE TIME. Still on a polly relationship there are no secrets. And you have to have open communication. At all tes. Really there has to be respect and trust from allnparties. Best of luck to you.
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Ask him how he’d feel if you also pursue someone outside your relationship, if he’s against it he’s not poly he’s just selfish.
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Does it work both ways?? Personally not for me
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You can spice things up without him f*cking someone else he will catch feelings and leave you so are you ready to get divorced. If my husband asked could he could be with someone else I would tell him yes after he moved out and filed for divorce.
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Yikes so he’s asking permission to do something he’s clearly already doing? Probably out of guilt. Nope
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It’s not going to work out.
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Be prepared for the end of your relationship. Because that’s definently a possibility if you allow this.
He wants to have his cake and eat it too. While I’m sure it does happen, I have never heard of a situation where this works out. Something you should also think about, they may have already done something without your knowledge.
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He’s not doing this to spice things up. He’s doing this cause he wants to cheat without getting in trouble 
girl. Go find yaself a new man.
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Heartache and disappointment
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If you have reservations about it then it’s not for you. You should not go through with it and make it very clear to him that you are not ok with it. I mean it sounds like you’d be good with someone neither of you will cross paths with again once you do so but to actually pursue a relationship with a third person doesn’t sound as though you can handle that kind of emotional expand in your relationship already.
Sounds like he wants his cake and to eat it too. I think in his head he wants you to be okay with him cheating and is just feeding you this bs excuse.
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Me and my husband are poly but it’s not for everyone. It takes a lot of work and communication
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Ask him where in your vows does it state poly? If that is the relationship he or you want, then why be married?
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You already lost him.
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You already lost him either way.
If he’s willing to tell you that… he probably already pursued her.
Don’t stay with him if it’s not 100% something you think you can try. If you can’t handle seeing him with another girl then it isn’t for you.
Personally I could never but some people it is for. But from what I’ve seen. Communication with both of them is essential.
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<3 that sounds awful like a recipe for jealousy, regrets, and pain. I respect that he told you but at the same time it’s very self centered and arrogant how he went about it. He was cheating before he even asked and that tells me how this is more than likely gonna go and it’s not well. I personally would never be okay with this. That’s not to say it’s wrong or I’m judging. Do you, but be honest with yourself. I know a few poly couples. This could work out fabulously for you, but let’s be real honest it probably won’t end up that great. It seldom does. Society tries to sell poly nowadays as this great alternative and that’s just not true. Poly relationships take a great deal of sacrifice, hard work, and easy feelings. If you are preparing to share your partner be prepared for it to suck and be hard as well. This is not spicing things up this is completely different. He is in a sense replacing some of your duties because you don’t cut it alone anymore. I wouldn’t be okay with that level of disrespect from a man. Sorry not sorry.
What I’ve learned from having a friend who is poly is that there are different levels to poly. So you need to have a more in depth conversation with your husband as to what his idea of poly is before making a decision. Also, a big part of poly is being completely open with your partners. Is this something your husband is willing to do so no feathers get ruffled? There’s a lot more information you need from him before making a decision.
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Communication, honesty, boundaries, and respect. But make sure you really think about whether this is something you’re really comfortable with before you agree.
Can on cause problem’s
Ehh. This depends on if you truly want this and if all of you are on board.
Overall, this just seems like, ‘wanting his cake and eating it too’. He doesn’t truly want ‘poly’ for all of you, he just wants to have two chick’s without being called a ‘cheater’. I’d be piiiiissed.
Ask him how he feels about you being with another man, then you’ll see what this situation truly is.
A poly person would have straight up told you they were poly from the get-go.
This is red flags all over the place. I’m sorry.
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A poly relationship is when you’re BOTH dating the other person. It’s not one sided. Will she be dating you too? If not, then this isn’t a poly relationship.
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… to each their own.
Bur you’re basically giving him the right to have a full blown relationship, probably kids etc with another woman. Or multiple other women. You more than likely won’t get the same affection or intimacy bc you’ll be sharing him with one or more other people. He won’t have the same amount of time for you as he currently does.
I wouldn’t do it personally.
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This is so NOT how a marriage is intended to be and will 100% fail.
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He can just go with her and stay gone.
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I’m not even a jealous person but I would be so upset if my husband said this to me.
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Is he ok with you also being poly and having another boyfriend?
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