I had a conversation with my husband today In which he basically told me that he didn’t love me anymore because of how I looked. I just gave birth to our second 4 months ago and granted the weight hasn’t come off as easy as I thought it would. I’ve been so sad after I gave birth that sometimes I won’t put makeup or even brush my hair for a couple of days. I told him I would try harder and basically begged him to stay. When I returned from picking up the kids, he told me he wants to try and work on us. And requested I get all these body modification surgeries to “help us” that I don’t even how I feel about it. After I had some time to think, I realized I no longer want to be with him. But all I can think about are my kids. I decided to stay in the relationship and work on myself and see whatever happens with him. My question is, does it get better eventually can it be fixed the more I work on my outer image? Or how do I make it work with someone I hate till I’m in a better position to leave.
Run and start new, you are worth far more than that
Your husband sounds like a dick. You are the one that has to change to help your marriage? Your kids don’t need to see their mom treated like that!
Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t love you just how you are? You deserve so much more!
I’d really focus on getting to a place where YOU are happy. Be it losing weight, dropping the hubby, or just taking some time to figure out who you are now as a woman and a mother.
Please don’t stay in that
I am 100+ pounds heavier than I was when I first got with my husband. He still calls me beautiful everyday and honestly thinks I’m the hottest thing ever in life. I’m pregnant with our 3rd together and he is so thankful for what I have put my body through to bring our beautiful blessings into the world. Our love gets stronger and stronger! I don’t think you will ever be able to live up to the image he has in mind for you. You don’t deserve that and don’t have to settle for that. Please know your worth!
Run another man will love you for who you are without all the adjustments.
Take the kids and leave as soon as you can. He isnt worth anything.
Dont stay with that. Period. Point blank. It’s bad for you and it is bad for your children.
I’m sorry get rid of your husband what a douchebag
Stay to get your finances in order but don’t have sex with him. As soon as you have the money, you should run. You deserve better!
Fuuuuck that, and him. Leave and never look back.
Start getting your financial/personal ducks in a row towards independence, even if you need government aid. It took me three years after giving birth to leave my abusive husband. Be kind to yourself and your kids.
I can only speak from my experience, I have always been a size 3-5, even after my kids. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and gained 60 lbs all of a sudden. I worried my husband would leave me because of it and he hasn’t. He said, “my weight doesn’t define me.” If your husband can’t accept you for you, you need to reach out to family and see if you can go with them until you can be stable on your own. Love is deeper than your appearance.
Sounds like a winner… 
Don’t worry about the kids well being worry about why he expects you to change he should love you unconditional
If your husband can’t love you the way you look after giving birth to his and your child then he’s not in love with you, he’s focused more on your looks than your heart. I would tell him to go, I don’t want to be with someone who degrades my looks bringing his child in the world!
Read your post as if it were someone else writing it… you’ll see your answer clearly!!
He should understand you just had a baby but a person should love you for you your looks are just a bonus. I honestly would say just leave and then work on your self and lose the weight on ur own terms and when ur ready it’s hard trying to be fit or lose weight with 2 kids.
What a dick I am sure you are beautiful and a great mom your kids love you for you run
Wow… very hurtful. He is a pompous asshole
You need to dump your piece of shit husband. If he loved you he wouldn’t be saying stupid ass shit like that.
Piece of shit. I would honestly do myself a favour and end it entirely…as much as it hurts no one who actually loved you would ever give you ultimatums like that.
It’s better to be alone than to be with the wrong person any day…
Seek counseling, for your self#1! Many Moms get postpartum depression, though most spouses support them! But also seek counseling for your marriage. If anyone tells you you need surgery; there’s something wrong with them! A doctor can explain how long it takes to get back to your weight, and breast feeding, if you can, will help. You should be excited and happy to be a new Mom, and your partner should also.
Honestly, just work on yourself. Do it for you and not him. It will help get your self esteem up. He will regret it later. Do you girl
This is really sad would you tell him this if he was I’ll or had cancer? I think this shows you what hes made of. I say if you want to work on yourself for you not him and find yourself someone else to love because I hate to say this he doesnt love you
Kick his ass to the curb he will be sorry one day and want you back. Dont be a fool your to good for this jerk
At the end of the day, your body is going to fall apart. One day, if you make it to 80 or 90…lets face it… you wont be cute. Be healthy for sure and take care of yourself. But if your image is what makes him LOVE you, he never loved you. Let him leave. You will never satisfy a person with that mindset. Its not you, its him. Let him go.
Drop 180lbs (or whatever he is) in less than a day by getting rid of his ass.
Honestly it’s better for the kids if you just leave him. They lead by example and staying even while your husband is like this only shows them thats how a relationship works. And it doesn’t get better. You can loose a ton of weight and then he’ll find something else. I was with a man like that. My current man will sometimes mention weight but usually its in a “WE need to start working out so both of us can get back in shape” its a group effort. If he’s telling you he doesn’t love you just because of your weight ESPECIALLY after you carried and gave birth to his children, he needs to leave.
Your husband is a asshole, if he is only in it for the looks, that is not a relationship that will ever work. If you want to work on yourself do it because you want to do it for you not for someone else. Don’t stay because of the kids you will all just end up miserable. If he doesn’t love you for you, stuff him, especially after you gave him a couple of wonderful kids.
I’m currently pregnant with my 4th child. I am 70 lbs heavier than I was when I got with my husband. Even at 8 months pregnant and depressed…my husband still thinks I’m beautiful and makes sure to tell me all of the time. Our marriage is so far from perfect. I can’t believe that a man would say that to you!!! How fucking dare him!!
Run. Fast. What an asshole.
This might be unrelated, but you might consider being seen for PPD. I had it terribly after my second. It had an influence on my marriage. BUT, I don’t think I would stick around if he was shallow enough to complain about my weight, especially being 4 months postpartum. Maybe you guys could get some therapy if you’re committed to making it work.
You are worth a lot and you don’t deserved that husband of yours, after all the pain of giving birth he first thinks about how you look. Come on, what a jerk!! , instead of asking how you feel and how he can help around the house and the kids. He doesn’t served you. You are to much of a woman and i am sure you will find someone else in the future. Focus on your kids and you, period.
Leave him and get your revenge body
It’s better for your kids to see you happy and apart from their dad than with him and unhappy
He is a dick and you deserve better . Alternating YOUR appearance so HE has a reason to stay?
what a tosser!
leave his ass girl 
people will treat you how you allow them to treat you!
Know your worth 
Omfg leave the guy.thats emotional abuse, FOR SURE.
Believe him about the doesn’t love you & leave in a hurry. Lifes too precious to lose years unhappily.
Its different if he says “I don’t love you” not if you assume and if you don’t want to be with him then leave because it will hurt your child more in the long run if you stay somewhere you don’t want to be. If you stay somewhere your not happy ir loved ir treated right kids pick up on that…
If you stay, you will end up bitter and hating him unless you seek professional counseling. The problem isn’t with you, it’s how he views people and their worth. You just had a baby!!! And being a mom is tough work!! The last thing you need is someone bringing you down. Plus your children feel those emotions regardless of age. I know someone who stayed with his wife for now 15 years and he’s only ever stayed for the kids; now he’s miserable and he has zero self worth. Don’t do that to yourself. Also, if a man told me I needed to do body modifications… I’d tell him he does too because his penis is too small and not satisfying at all lol
L. E. A. V. E
You carried his child for MONTHS
Your body changed FOR HIS CHILD
you went through PAIN for his CHILD.
leave. When your children ask why later tell them exactly why.
Sheep shit is worth more than him at this point.
Take the money he wants you to get plastic surgery with and use it to pay for something really meaningful and liberating…your divorce lawyer! Love yourself and be you, beautiful!
I wish I could give you a hug! Has he always been this way? No man is worth the verbal abuse and damage he is doing to your self esteem. Love is a choice, not just a “feeling.” He vowed to love you for better or worse. Separate yourself from him, your kids will understand. Focus on your self love and your little ones. Good luck!
If you have a daughter, you staying and accepting that treatment will teach her that a man can treat her that way. If you have a son, he’ll see that he can do that to another woman. Do the best thing for your kids and show them the right thing for you and their future relationships and families
GIRL. NO.
Any guy who needs you to alter your appearance so that he can “fall back in love with you” is a fucking idiot.
You do whatever you need to that makes YOU feel good. But you do it for YOU. Not for him.
And fuck him for even saying that to you. That’s unbelievable.
Wooooow thats just low. Since my 2nds been born i def lack on the looking “good” department but my husband dont care and hasnt for the last 2.5 years either. He appreciates the times I do actually dress up or put make up on for family occasions, special events or the odd date night we take.
He either loves u for u (not looks) or he needs to be dropped. Simple.
I know the kid factor makes it hard to leave but they watch and learn and do as they see. U want them to respect themselves and others then u need to respect u and leave.
Sorry. Not much more to add, other than potty mouth words and wanting to kick him in the balls. 
What a POS!
This is part of having His baby. He needs to man up and act like an adult. If he’s complaining about how you look, get rid of him. This officially makes him a jerk. Oh and does he look like Brad Pitt by any chance? I didn’t think so.
Wow what a shallow asshole 
Screw that guy. Hes an a prick. Its YOUR body, man I would have punched him right in the face. Men like that make me sick.
Every saying leave I d9nt necessarily agree or disagree. He may be going through some stuff too. Men get angry and or depressed just like women.
EW! He wants YOU to get surgery for “us.” NO. Toss him out where he belongs. You don’t want to expose your children to that kind of abuse. They’ll see what he’s doing to you and that will impact them negatively.
Yes you might want to see if you’re dealing with with some PPD first. See how you feel. Don’t make any decisions til you’re ready. But your husband doesn’t deserve you.
Not siding with the husband. Yes he needs to be more senstive. She doesn’t need to get modifications to feel better. Do you ever think in a crude way maybe he was suggesting if she would brush her hair and put on something other than old sweatpants. She might feel better or even happier.
You deserve better. Leave and start to love yourself. Your kiddos will be just fine. This is a toxic relationship that your kids do not need to see or be around.
Momma you grew a baby in your body you extra weight is pride the possible stretch marks are the story.
Do what is best for you not for anyone else.
I’m sorry, your husband is an asshole. You deserve better than him, and you deserve better than to be treated that way. You brought his children into the world, and it takes 12 months for your body to recover from childbirth. For some it’s possible to get back in shape sooner than that, but their body is still recovering, their hormones are not back to normal, and their husbands definitely should not be making them feel bad for what they just accomplished.
He needs to work on himself 100%, because hunny, the problem is not you, its him.
Honey he shouldn’t expect you to change your appearance so he can love you. If that’s how he feels he doesn’t really love you.
That doesn’t sound healthy at all. Ur children are better off if you leave now in my opinion
Pray. Watch The War Room. Great movie for couples.
I think you can work through this. This is a good time to work on you and get counseling with your husband.
What he said isn’t the end all be all to me. Though it was very cruel, I think you both have something you can work on. Good luck mama!
He sounds awful! I’m sorry. I know how you feel. When I was married my husband would treat me like garbage when I had put on weight from having his children. I’d start physically looking better and he would be nice to me again. That is not love! My advice is get out as quick as possible. Get your mom or someone you trust completely to open an account in there name and start moving money to it so you have something to leave with. I’m so sorry about this. My heart goes out to you.
Fuck him my man tells me I look good on the worst days… What he said is nasty as hell
Omg why do women put up with this shit 
Your husband is a piece of shit. There is a difference between supporting say a healthier lifestyle vs. Saying I dont love you bc you are heavier now and u need to get work done. Fuck that shit. I’m sick of all these posts with such disgusting men. I’m floored. There is good men out there. Real men. Who will love you for you no matter what size you are. Especially after having their child!!!
Leave or make him leave if he doesn’t love you the way you are then he doesn’t deserve you! “For better or worse”
He sucks. You’re too good for him. Work on you for you while you leave his ass. 
Tell him as long as he gets a penis enlargement surgery because he dick size has to be bigger than all the dick in his personality.
I’m a big girl, gotten bigger since having kids and my husband still loves me for me. If he ever spoke to me like that or mentioned I needed surgeries He would be gone. Better to have 2 happy households than 1 unhappy one. Sorry you’re going through this
This man is not worth what he’s going to put you through. Your mental health is what matters, for you and those babies. You put your head up and stay strong. Once you get into a new routine than work on what you feel you need or want to work on, on YOUR time. You’re beautiful, you’re strong, and you’re going to make it with or without his ass. 
you got this .
He should love you no matter what you look like. I think you should leave. You shouldn’t work on yourself to please him or anyone else. You should do it for you… No one else. Even if you change he will say something else that needs to be fixed. You don’t want to show your kids that they have to look a certain way to be loved. Love yourself and who you are. You are a mom to 2 kiddos.
If u change you’re body because he wants u too u are teaching your children that looks are all that matters about a woman think about this u are setting an example would you want you’re daughter to be treated this or you’re son saying this to someone some day honey show you’re children a strong independent woman u demands respect
Oh. HEELLLLLLLLL. No.
If your daughter said that to you, what would your answer be? Would it be to please her husband and do all of that work to look better physically just so he will love her? Or would it be to drop his sorry ass for not loving her the way she is and WHO she is?
If my husband EVER said anything like that to me, I’d instantly lose 160lbs because his ass would be out the door. I’ve carried his children for him, I’ve changed my body to carry said children FOR HIM (me as well cause I love my kids, but he wanted them just as much as I did). I’m 30lbs heavier than I was when we got together and have a hell of a lot of extra fat and skin, and while I’m uncomfortable in my own body, he would never tell me that I need to be physically fit to HIS standards to love me.
A man should love you for YOU. Your husband sounds like an ugly little bitch.
If you wanna lose weight and feel more confident, lose whatever he weighs. If you wanna look fly and fit and get yourself back into shape, then do it for YOU. Not for him.
#yesiranted #emotionalabuse #pieceofshit #hesnotaman #losehisass
Ahhh. Ok. This is easy.
Take the information he just gave you.
Tuck it away, low priority.
Priority one is your children.
Get funds squirreled away somehow.
Keep your focus on making a break a some point.
Make the break.
He showed you who he is. Believe him. He will not change.
Literally go have sex with all his friends and file for divorce 
Tell him get a big dick “surgery” and You Might consider staying with him.
And what happens when you start going grey and getting wrinkles? Doesn’t sound like he truly loves you, just your body. If he doesn’t love you anymore because of your body after giving birth, then he doesn’t truly love you… sorry. That doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship at all. Don’t put up with this please.
Have him pay for all the surgeries and the fire his ass.
My heart breaks for you. I would consider leaving immediately. If he has the nerve to say that kind of thing to you, imagine what he might say to your children later in life. If he loved you he would never ask you to change anything about yourself. You are enough! Flaws, lumps, bumps, curves, messy hair and all!
All I’m gonna tell you sis is this… any REAL MAN who truly LOVES YOU would NEVER leave you over appearance. True love goes much deeper than that. What’s he expecting to happen when you’re both old and wrinkled and everything is saggy ten inches down ?!
He’s willing to put your life at risk to have these surgeries (MULTIPLE AT THAT) all just for his personal preference? He’s not even thinking of your kids by asking you for that. I don’t even know him and he disgusts me. That’s a BOY babe, he’s not even worth another second of your thoughts and time . Tell him he can go fuck himself, YOU decided you don’t find him very attractive anymore now that those true colors started shining bright . Turns out, he’s not YOUR type . And then if I were you, I’d start walking around like you’ve never been happier . Fuck that guy boo . No one looks good after having a baby. The ones who do, have shit tons of money or are stressing themselves to death over their appearances. Any regular mom out here, we all look rough . Even if we managed to snap right back into our normal body size, we don’t brush our hair or even shower daily half the freakin time . WE ARE MOMS . We are dedicated to our children and any real man and father would recognize that and LOVE YOU MORE for it ! You’ll have your time back… babies aren’t babies forever so one day you’ll have all the time in the world to put into wanting to do your hair again and makeup and dress up . So in the meantime, enjoy those babies and loving them as the mom you are NATURALLY and if he can’t “love” you during and for that, then he doesn’t truly love you or deserve you.
I know you shared anonymous but if you ever need someone, feel free to message me personally 
Stay strong love. Don’t let this douche nugget bring you down !
I am a man and I can tell you. I could never say any of that stuff to the love of my life for giving me the most presush gift of a child to. Become part of the best thing a family. So in my opinion he is superficial and won’t be happy with anyone. So with that said you should think about what kind of man would ask you to do all that stuff if he’s not willing to be with you just the way you are. And if your unhappy being in the shape your in wether good or bad then it don’t just happen overnight. Gonna take lots of work. But don’t do it for him do it for you and you alone.
Your husband is a freaking asshole! Don’t put up with that shit. He’s not a man that’s a child.
Sounds like hes selfish,but it does sound like maybe you should get checked for ppd
You gave him another precious gift ! You brought a life into this world ! You knew and he knew pregnancy would change your physical body appearance , and as for what he said to you regarding your body , he’s horrible .
4 months after birthing a child is not gonna show amazing results , it took me 2 years to lose some of the weight i gained while pregnant with my 2nd . Id hope he seeks counseling , and for your own health and benefit I hope you are able to get your body back to how YOU love it , not him .
Move on. Work on yourself totally and KEEP GOD FIRST! 
I am so sorry for your loss of the family that you thought you had. So sad , but you need to make an appointment with your doctor and let them know that you have depression. What you describe sounds like post partum depression. And you can get help and be happy again. I hope you can find some Middle ground for you getting along with your husband until you are in a good place emotionally and financially. I hope you successfully find happiness for your self and your children. Good luck.
You just gave birth 4 months ago and he’s giving you crap about how you look? I would be willing to bet he’s seeing someone else and if he can disrespect the mother of his child about her appearance when he helped in creating that child thus having your body expand and stretch to grow and birth a child with half his DNA then he is not worth the time and energy! You are a mother, strong, a warrior. You got this! Focus on you and your babies.
Your body is an instrument not an ornament. You do not love someone for their appearance, you love someone for who they are on the inside. Stay if you want but you work on you because you deserve it and you are worth it. Depression is a killer, literally, and you deserve to feel better. Do you have someone you can talk to about how your feeling? Having a second child is so hard, on everyone in the family. Give each other a little grace and compassion but do not ever feel like you are less than or not worthy of love because of how you look.
Plus you gave birth only 4 months ago!!! Your body isnt even fully healed yet.
He doesn’t love you. He loved the way you looked.
Work on you. Do whatever you feel you need to do for you. Then leave him and find better! Someone that loves YOU
The worst thing you can do is stay together for the kids. I am a 49 year old divorced woman. They last 2.5 years of my marriage my ex and I were both unhappy. He wanted to divorce because he no longer loved me. That was in 2014. We both are much happier, our kids are happy (they are happy that we are happy) we both get along and are there for our kids. We help each other out when needed. He has a son with his new girlfriend and my kids adore him. No one should ever stay in a relationship where they are not wanted or loved. I wish you the best. 
Your not alone find your happiness In YOU !!! Take time but do it or YOU !!!
Love is a choice. You have to wake up and choose to love the person you are committed to and it’s not always easy. But it’s clear he doesn’t love who you are, just what you look like… and that changing has changed his feelings for you. You deserve better.
First Congratulations on your new baby.
Well one you need to get rid of the husband… so it takes 9 months to put on all that weight, weight from creating and growing a human being. Expecting the weight to come off in 4 months is unrealistic and actual love is not based in looks. You’re body is beautiful and strong, you just brought his baby into the world of that isnt attractive to him hes a douche bag. Sorry not sorry.
Find happiness in you !!! Take your time !!! Your not ALONE !!!
Omfg what a POS. Girl. No, that’s not ok.
No. Just no. Sweety you are beautiful just the way you are. Kids may make us sag and stretch. But those are battle wounds. We survived one of the most challenging things known to man kind. We grew a human inside of us for most cases more then 9 months. We birthed them ether naturally or had to get cut open to do so! No man should ever look at his kids mother and say that. EVER! Leave him in the dust momma! Dont look back!
No. No. No. You are in a toxic relationship. The side of toxicity is not talked about very much. Buuut hes emotionally abusing you. Just because there aren’t bruises, doesnt mean it’s not abuse. Words hurt, and fuck with your head. I was with the father of my child for nearly 3 years. And his hateful demeanor towards me got worse. Hed say horrible things to me in front of our child. And my reason to stay became my reason to leave. I chose to not let my son think that is how a woman should be treated. Now I am with a man that kisses my stretch Mark’s. Tells me I’m beautiful everyday and makes me feel special and important. It gets better. The first step is to walk away. You deserve better. And better will only walk into your life when you leave.
Your husband sucks. Time to move on.
Time to move on. Take care of yourself for your kids.