My husband cheated on me with his ex girlfriend: Advice?

My rule is if he cheats with an ex I wouldn’t work it out to me that’s different then cheating with someone new I feel like they will always cheat with that ex because it’s obviously something there so personally I would leave and definitely because you spent our savings on her not considering me or our kids

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Take your kids & walk away, allow him to see them but that is it! You guys built a family & he betrayed his vows!! Not just once…He’s spending the money you guys had together for the two of you & your children on another woman. I get he missed 11 years of his daughter’s life, but he could of made that right and had a future with her with his family he created with you & her sibling, instead he’s trying to make you stay! You will grow to hate him. The relationship will never work because hes lied to you about it more then once! He broke your trust, you were will to stay after he said it was done, but he continued! If he loved you unconditionally he wouldn’t be occupying another woman, when the time should be spent with you and his kids!

Think about it this way your kids are seeing what is going on and they are gonna think that’s how marriage is. It will be hard but it’s better if you leave

He will never change. Take him for all he is worth, part of his pension, and you get part of his SS if married more than 10 years.

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Run, run and never look back

Dump the piece of shit.

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I think you know what you need to do… Bye!!!

Take the kids and leave.

No way pack it up and leave fuck him that’s some selfish shit right there he just sorry he got caught have some self respect and just go

These women that keep posting my husband cheated my boyfriend cheated. You have 2 options stay or get the hell out. If you have kids your teaching them it’s ok Dad does this to mom.

Why do these women ask the same thing. My husband cheated what should I do. You have 2 choices stay or get the hell out. Remember you are teaching your kids it’s ok to treat mom like shit

All u do is say bye bye FOOL !!!

Hello, whole man disposal service? I’d like to schedule same day pickup

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Empty the savings out completely before he does. Take the whole damn check. If you are a stay at home mom find a job. Change the locks. Don’t leave the house. But take care of you

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I’d never take my husband back after he cheating in our marriage. That’s embarrassing, disturbing, disrespectful, etc. You do that type of stuff before you get married. Let him go be with her. He has chosen.

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Deal dreaker! He can fuck right of!!

Change the locks once a cheat always a cheat

Kill that mother fucker…haha no but for real :neutral_face:

So what advise do you need? Some of us women will never learn

Go and don’t look back

Throw him out he’s a waste of skin

Why are you still with him? Leave!

Respect is so important,do you think he has any for you.as dr Phil would say this is a deal breaker!

when you have kids with an ex and you leave the door open, it NEVER ends well. leave him

He’s completely disrespected you. He’s lied not just once or twice but several times. As bad as it hurts, You need to pack his things and either get them out or pack your things and get yourself out of there with your kids. That type of environment is not where you need to be. It’s not fair to you. You’re better than that. Do you think you deserve that?

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I would be making my escape plan… He has already shown he’s ok with disrespecting you. And since they have a kid, there will always be contact. You will forever be wondering what he is doing.

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Kick him out he’s not worth the pain he’s putting you
Thru.

im so sorry this happened to you , please don’t take him back he is obviously taking advantage of your kindness and forgiveness and u will continue to hurt and mentally it will cause depression and anxiety , find someone who loves you that will not cheat .

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Took your respect, took your loyalty, took your trust and took your money… People die for less 🤷

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I would say just end it. Not worth it. He lied to you, cheated on you and spent all the family money. Hell no!! Get rid of him. Pick yourself up and get on with your life.

LEAVE HIM!!! Your worth more then that!

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BOY BYE :wave:t2: nobody deserves that! You will find happiness again, move on.

Once a cheat always a cheat cut him loose

Leave him,. You constantly taking him back let’s him know it’s okay to hurt you when it’s not. Its emotional abuse and gaslighting. Nobody whose willing to change will continue to hurt you or even hurt you to begin with.

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Honey your better than this. You didnt do anything wrong, and you derserve someone who is gonna love you and respect you. You are setting a example for your children. You ahouldnt have to worry about what hes doing. I know you love him but its clear he doesnt respect you and without trust and respect love is just a word

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Oh hell no. Lying and then continuing to do what you apologised for is a huge break in trust. Spending both of your money on her… just absolutely not. If you can forgive him after everything then I suggest you give that sneaky f’er an ultimatum either your family or hers and if her chooses you then I suggest therapy in all forms.

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Get a secret account take money out…every month and save up for your own place. Then after you have enough saved up boom leave

Leave no more chances. You gave him every opportunity to change and he walked on your feelings and lied to you over and over again. Don’t let him walk on you anymore you and your children deserve better.

I know you care for this man but he can’t be trusted. You have love but if you can’t trust him then you have nothing. My husband left me for the other woman. I am so much better off I am happy with myself and it has been 12 years.

Cut him loose he is no good and u deserve better

Leave! Even if he did stop seeing her you will never trust him again and will question everything he does…dont do that to yourself.

It’s tuff to deal with this sort of decet, but to live w/ someone e you can no longer trust is worse. I am afraid that this door is closed. Separate bank accounts, & he will pay child support and more. You are free of negative, although it will not be easy you will find happiness.:blush:

LET HIM GO! Pack his stuff! File for child support and be happy without stress. Apparently, he will continue doing it with her or with someone else because he knows you will take him back again.

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I was cheated on in the past. I know how bad it hurts. It’s hard to hear. But hes not going to change. One of the best things about love is being able to trust the person you are with. It took me many years to realize that. I’m 52 yrs old, and just married my true love in August. Please let her have him. You are the better person, and deserve true love and respect. May God bless you in your life.

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Lawyer up. Get full custody of your children and keep the house. Have him pay for everything. Then move on with your life. #done

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Once trust is broken, not once but twice that would be it for me. I would get the best lawyer I can find and make sure he takes care of his 3 children.

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As painful as it is, you need to hold your head high and walk away. This is not just for you but your children. You will never trust him again and what he has done to your family is unacceptable and unforgivable. Be strong, you deserve so much better.

Mama, you don’t need us to answer this… you already know you deserve better than this… let her have him… once he has to pay child support and her fun time with him is over… she will be done too.
Pack his things and let it go. You deserve better, so don’t accept less .

You got this

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It’s hard to think about going on with out him , but believe me you and your children will be much better off , there is someone out there that will love you all unconditionally and that’s what you all deserve . Good luck and hope you find that special someone :two_hearts:

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You got this walk away, you deserve better it will be hard although so rewarding in the end. I know how hard it is I have been where you are and I finally walked away and my life is so much better. Hugs to you. Be strong.

You need to leave for your sake and the childrens. His behavior is beyond disrespectful. I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this. My heart breaks for you. Pray about it. Get yourself some counseling and keep your head up for those kids. Recognize your worth and that you deserve better. Period❤

He will tell you everything you want to hear but he’s already proven what he’s about. Get rid of him! Yes, it will be hard but remind yourself that you deserve better and you are worth it and btw so are your kids! Give them the example they need as a strong woman who knows her worth!

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Once they cheat its on. Walk away and never look back. You will find out that hes not worth your heart ache or your tears… Praying you can find a way out before he does it again…

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LEAVE, get child support, alimony, and find you a good man and make him jealous. Hurt him where it counts most. He’ll eventually regret and it’ll be too late!

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Married…you said, “married”, right?? Not just “for good times”…but ‘til death do you part’, right?? Find a counselor…maybe in your church, or secular… Go together. Dig up the dirt, get it out on the table and figure out the ROOT cause(s). Unfortunately, marriage is HARD work. These days, at the first sign of trouble, people throw their relationships and families away…and simply recreate the very same mess with a new person…and they iterate…over and over, because the ROOT cause was never identified and healed. You might still end up in a divorce…BUT, you will at least have done your part to understand the root cause so you can work on those issues before you go out and create another equally unfortunate situation.

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I tell you like I tell everybody else. There ain’t no part of that, that is unconditional love. Once I learned what unconditional love was, I ain’t had time for bullshit. Your kids will be fine. Life is all about how to make life work, I’d much rather co-parent than be upset all the time, not being able to be the best mom I can be. Good luck, I hope you decide to love yourself more than put up with bullshit. :two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts:

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He is doing this because he believes he’s got it that way. I don’t think he’s going to cut her loose. Get a lawyer, get what you want from him, and divorce him. He’s proven to be a player and he can’t be trusted. You are still young and you deserve better. So do your children.

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This husband is not a blessing. Move on. Pick up the pieces and raise your children.

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He’s keeping you hanging on cause you hold all the cards girlfriend don’t he knows your going to hit his pocket book hard so he’s trying to hang on as long as he can I would turn the tables and make his life miserable like he is you and don’t forget you can claim adultery make sure that’s included

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I had a friend who found herself to be in this type of situations a lot, until she went to counseling and addressed things that had happened to her as a child she wasn’t able to see and feel her self worth, girl you are not second best, kick him to tbe curb and find someone who truly loves and values you!!

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Get counseling. A friend went thru the same, she’s still with her hubs, they worked thru it and built up trust because marriage takes two and has bumps. If you both love each other isn’t it worth it to work it out. Get professional help. IF you want to save your marriage. Otherwise leave, your call

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First of all, its nothing you did. Its all him, he controls what he does. So throw the blame at him cuz its all his fault. Now 2 options you have. 1 stay and worry everytime he leaves, or 2. Leave and find happiness. Is it going to be hard? Yes, will you love yourself more for it? Yes. Good luck to you in which ever you choose.

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Follow your heart, you have been with this man for 9 years, you should know his thoughts before he does, Do you think he will change? Do you think he will stop seeing her? Only you can make this decision and only you have to live with it your decision. Everyone can tell you what they think k you should do but unless they have been where you are, they can’t really desire, You know weather to keep him or to kick him. best of luck.

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I’d never take my husband back if he treated me like that. He could have her!

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I’m not sure this should even be a question. He answered the question when he cheated and created another child outside of your marriage. Then he answered it again when he spent both of your savings on traveling and doing things to make her happy. Then he again answered the question a couple of times when said he wanted to work things out with you and was seeing her again and again behind your back. He’s answered this question for you multiple times. Cut your losses and cut him loose and walk away with your dignity in tact.

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Make copies of all he’s spent with her. Everything you can. Messages and all. Then call a lawyer asap. You and the kids deserve better!

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I am the last person to suggest divorce but…even in the bible divorce was allowed for unapologetic adultery. Not only did he cheat but he continues to cheat. You have grounds to move on. No one deserves to be made to feel like this. You deserve better. This isnt love.

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I used to think I couldn’t live without my husband he abused me and cheated on me numerous times and I got the strength to take my kids and leave I worked got child support and I made it I had three abusive marriages now I have a good man who would never hit me in a million years you deserve so much better get counseling and live for your kids God will put the right man in your life prayers to you

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Oh no honey you are way better than that pick yourself up and move on. I would not be with someone who is still seeing their ex. Find you a man that will love you and not hurt you like he is doing.

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I made a decision recently, not to care about whether or not my SO would ever cheat. I have spent so much time and mental and emotional energy trying to trust and make sure this never happens to me again. It was all pointless. If someone wants to lie to me, if they want to cheat, whether its emotional or physical, that’s their choice. I wont stand by and let it happen to me again. I will walk. There are loyal people out there.

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Get counseling for you, your children and if you choose to stay couples counseling. Catholic charities usually have affordable services. If he is not will to attend or change look into a lawyer

Pack his shit and let her deal with him. He will continue to do this to you bc it’s what you’re allowing. Don’t be afraid to know what you bring to the table isn’t worthy of him sitting at it.

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If it were me it would cost his ass one expensive divorce and then some. I’d be his worst nightmare

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Seeking advice from the internet is not helpful!

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Light a match. Toss it. Walk away. You are wasting time. Also, you are teaching your kids what is acceptable. That is not.

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Kick him to the curb, get a good lawyer, keep house, kids and make sure you get all the child support you can. There is no excuse for this, you can’t trust him to be honest with you and who is to say he will not do it again.

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If you like being an option and not a priority. Stay. Personally I wouldn’t put up with that bs once.

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I would play nice and get a lawyer. Love you have for him will never be as strong as the doubt you have every time he walks out the door.

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Get rid of him honey! You deserve much better, and don’t think you did anything wrong, he’s the one who’s giving up the best thing that ever happened to him.

I’m sorry if I come out as rude.
Do you value yourself at all?
Do you love your children enough to remove what’s toxic in your lives.
He has proven to you that you and your children are not his priority. If that’s the lifestyle you want for yourself and your kids then continue to live it.

Once a cheater always a cheater. First time, on him, second time on you!!! Walk away because you have to think about what you are teaching your children…it’s ok for people to treat you (them) that way? NOT!!!

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My ? Is why you are putting up with this…?.gross disrespect for you…so you accept being his doormate…you are valuable…willing to settle for a liar and a cheater…why?.he wont ever respect you because you don’t love yourself enough to stand up to him…it takes courage .but you can make it without his emotional abusive behavior…prayers for you .to grow up take care of yourself♡

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Nobody can tell you what to do, because you already know what you wanna do. First, know your worth. Is all of that worth your heartache for your children?

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You did nothing to cause this. He made the choice to play and now he’s playing a dangerous game. Sadly, you have your family to think of. Time to go to court and get things squared. If he’s going to skip like that then there’s more going on with him than you know sweetie. Hope someone cleans his clock.

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You must have low self esteem. Know your worth girl! Move on-… It isn’t the first time he’s done it, it’s the first time he was caught. I’d be gone. End.of.story. You show someone how to treat you by what you allow.

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Don’t raise your children to be victims, they learn by your example. Have respect for yourself and your children and get out!!

It’s time to say good bye to him ! And for you to start over again !! He wouldn’t change he keeps lying to you ! Do you want somebody like that

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Leave your either a priority or not simple as that. Talk with him he owns you a honest conversation if you don’t get the answer you want well then sadly pack yourself up and leave and if the kids ask well then dad changed his priorities

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girl get out of there get a lawyer and get custody of those babies you deserve so much better if you stay your just telling him he can keep on cheating and it ok to do it he is just telling you what you want to hear to keep you around

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No one can judge you n tell you you dont love yourself three same thing happened to me its very hard to walk away but in the long run the kids suffer from the parents staying together with no trust once the trust is broken it normally cant be repaired because because your always going to be expecting him to cheat this is a big decision make it quickly the linger you wait three worse its going to be i can’t tell you what to do but i know you’ll meddle the best decision

Dump him. It has nothing to do with you. He is responsible for his actions. Keep your head high and be a great Mother to your children. Make sure he pays child support.

I went thru the same thing. If he’s lied once, he’ll keep on lieing. Get a good attorney & kick his butt out.

Lawyer up and leave. Seriously it doesn’t look likes he’s stopping anytime soon

I don’t understand why advice is needed.

Girl, time for divorce. They don’t change ever. They will keep doing. It’s a battle to get yourself together. But you can do it. You will be okay and will find someone down the road that is worth it. Speaking from experience.

Once in somebody else’s bed, he would be out of mine and my life as well

Changed behavior is the only acceptable apology.
He’s continued to see her and lies to you about it.
I’d legally separate if you decide to try to work things out.
Bottom line… He has no reason to change if he thinks he can get away with it.

That is not bc u did something wrong or u r not good enough so get that out of ur mind. Dont beat yourself up…I’m not the person to tell u what yo do but if it were me I’d be out. U will b happy again ur kids will b ok …1 day the hurt will hurt less. 1 day u will feel strong. But do not make the mistake of downing yourself for his unrest. I am sorry for your shitty situation… 1 thing I do know for sure is talking bad to the kids abt him or her will only mess them up and it does go both ways…hard as it is if u and ur husband cld agree not to do that to your kids it wld help them yrs down the road.

All I can say is wow, such disregard for you and his 3 kids at home. He isn’t just doing this to you but the 3 kids too when he spent the savings. Maybe he feels like he owes the past something but who cares, I’d called the **'s bluff and got a DNA but moving on, you know what you need to do he hasn’t done it just once he is doing this openingly it seems, file with a lawyer sweetie you deserve a better life, take his ass. Best of luck and keep your chin up find your strength!

U already knkw what to do
… walk away huni
Value ur self more than he has
Show ur kids u won’t b treated as an 2nd choice in a relationship
He’s not committed so y u hanging on for more uncertaities
I know ur future feels n looks uncertain now but it is with him to so get rid of that bit uncertainty n unreliability in ur life n b boss of ur own destiny xx