Omg stop being weak and leave!!
Why would his relationship change with his kids? leave his piece of shit ass
Report her, divorce him
Ladies damn calm down think logically what you need to do is get happy first that’s almost impossible right now. Is he sorry remorseful truly? People fuck up its life life is messy and gets hard but does he really love you ? If he’s restructuring his whole life to fix it let him … Let him show and prove to you that he’s worthy. Don’t give up yet not saying not to leave either your gut and heart won’t steer you wrong. I’ve been there. It takes years to get it back sometimes it’s better. But know when it’s time to let go also.
He cheated the trust is gone and it’s hard to get back if u ever do…good luck but I wouldn’t protect him he’s the one that messed up
We as women are so stupid sometimes.
It sounds like you’re just too comfortable and are scared of losing the stability he has provided.
I actually understand her wanting to protect him and the practice yes he cheated and if she doesn’t want to stay with him leave people make mistakes it was a messed up one and is obviously wrong but I don’t think someone deserves to lose a career they worked very hard for. If he’s out of a job where does that leave her and the kids? Throw away the man but make him pay you child support oh and alimony
To everyone saying why is she protecting him. I think he can loose his license or get in serious trouble for what he did. Even if she divorced him, she would need child support and possibly get alimony. She doesn’t want to screw herself in the long run. There isnt any point in ruining both your lives over his stupidity.
Why do YOU feel the need to protect HIM. He obviously gave no fucks about jeopardizing his reputation or job let alone your feelings or your children’s. To continue ‘protecting’ him you will continue to victimize yourself. He made a vow…a PROMISE to you and it was HIM that made the decision to betray you and your little family, he should suffer the consequences. Stop being so soft, it Will happen again.
Your children can still have a great relationship with their father even if you two aren’t together.
I know he hurt you but I don’t think kids should be brought into grown folks business
You could forgive him and do counseling kids don’t always need to know everything
What happens between you and the father stays between you and the father, if he is and has always been good to the kids keep it that way that’s adulting not being a petty adult and pinning hatred into your kids … kids will grow up and make up there own minds about the situation be strong and know what’s acceptable and what’s wrong and be firm and teach that to your kids so they don’t grow and follow his footsteps
by the sounds of this your heart is breaking not only for you but your babies trust me it does not get easier I am a single mum my partner cheated on me multiple times with prostitutes and random chick’s I don’t think you will ever heal being in the same environment with him as once the trust is gone you have nothing left
Move on it’s hard and it’s a long road ahead of you but your not doing your kids any favors by staying
If he’s cheated once he’ll cheat again. Only that time he’ll say you’re the one cheating. It’s time to sit your kids down, be honest with them and move on with your lives. Your kids are who you need to be honest with because in the end they get hurt just the same or more.
You have to figure it this way if you found out, others know and it’s only a matter of time that it’ll be out and your kids are going to find out from them instead of you. Come clean with your kids, don’t make them resent you for not telling them the truth.
Boot the dirty lowlife out
He will cheat again, I’ve lived this, I have mine a second chance, 3 months later he was doing it again, leave him, you don’t have to give kids details, tell them you both love them but the two of you just can’t be together anymore.
Nope. Leave, report it.
But I’m petty and vengeful
When I was disrespected in my relationship with my children’s father I left him. They still love and see their father
My feelin is the only reason hes doing any sort of trying or moving around is to protect himself…not bc of u or the kids. Hes gunna do whatever he can to kiss ur ass so u dont whistle blow on him and his indiscretions.
Your kids will get older and they will know and form their own opinion of him.
And what they think of him is not your fault, considering that it is based on HIS poor decision.
In my opinion, cheating is something you never get over. You’ll always think of it, you’ll always worry, you’ll never trust and you’ll always wonder what’s wrong with you.
I’d leave. If you want to protect, protect your feelings, your mental health.
Protect your kids, mama, if he isnt doing anything to them, like physically or mentally hurting them, then keep protecting them, they dont need to know everything right now! HOWEVER! As for you, you need to seek counseling and possibly leave him your mental health is more important and you need someone to support you physically mentally and emotionally and be loyal to you you deserve more than that
Best advice speaking from experience on both sides of the fence. Go to marriage counseling. Best thing you and your husband can do for yourselves, your marriage and your family. I’ve been there. I don’t believe once a cheater always a cheater. Life happens. It doesn’t mean you have to be that person the rest of your life. Talk it out. Don’t just bottle it up bc it will eat you alive. Best of luck. It’s hard as hell to move forward but it is doable and worth it if you love him and want to make it work.
To everyone saying “don’t bring kid’s into it"and " why would you even mention your kids” what she’s saying is she’s protecting them. If she leaves then her family and his family, friends and anybody else knows them will find out. Then the kids will most likely find out. Because we all know how people talk. And then how long will it take for their children to find out? She’s protecting them by not saying anything or leaving. And as for him, she is also protecting him by not leaving or telling anyone. Because of his practice. So what she’s saying is she is not going to tell the kid’s anything about what their father did to protect them from thinking anything bad about their dad or them being mad at him for hurting their momma. I mean I don’t actually think some of you women read what she posted. Or you wouldn’t have told her them things. SMH.
Move on and leave the kids out of it. They don’t need to know the reason your splitting. You can tell them sometimes people just don’t work together. Your a better person than me though. I would’ve called the women out.
Get out the siuation and move on if he does it once he will do it againtell him to get out
He betrayed you, of course your heartbroken! Your children should never be brought into adult things though, you should never tell them about it because eventhough what he did was horrible, it shouldn’t effect the kids relationship with their dad. If you can’t forgive him and work through this where you trust him again then you need to separate, not just for you but your children as well because I’m sure your relationship will change and there will be resentment and you don’t want your kids growing up in that environment either. I personally don’t know if I could ever work though if my husband cheated on me, knowing he chose to be with someone else would absolutely break me and our relationship. I would leave. It sucks for your kids but if you can’t get passed it you have to leave for your happiness and your babies. Best of luck!
That’s terrible that he went out with his nurse. Have u talked about it with him? I would want her fired. Once they break their vows, he may do it again. Get into couples therapy to see if ur marriage can be saved.
They will find out , one day
Fuck that id expose them both…
Their relationship would be jeopardized if you make it a point to bring them into the mess. They don’t deserve to be draged. Don’t make that mistake. It will cost you.
I hope that you have gone to therapy to talk about the betrayal.
No you are a great mum and wife just take yourself out for a bit and think things over you are taking the safe way if that what you want so be it ( God bless you xooxo )
Men and women both do stupid things but I would got to couples therapy
Is it possible to divorce without telling everyone your business? No one needs an explanation as to why and you’re not obligated to give one.
I don’t think you should tell the kids they don’t need to know one day they’ll find out. But I also don’t think you’re gonna heal in anyways in a couple months. I personally couldn’t trust again EVER. I would have to leave but try my best to keep the kids calm.
I don’t think you need to discuss with them your personal love life right now unless you decide to leave him
Therapy 10000% for both of you. He obviously needs to over come stuff as well.
Also if hes done it once…
my favorite doctor recently cheated on his wife with a nurse too. I lost all respect for him immediately, so I get what you’re saying about worrying about his practice. But he made that bed. Don’t stay with a cheater. People treat you the way that you allow them to. If you stay then you’re letting him know that it’s okay.
Later on down the road, you will thank yourself immensely got keeping it from the children and everyone else. It’s hard but you have to focus on healing with or without him. If you cause him to lose his career it’ll hurt you and your kids the most. If you leave keep the reasons private. Stay strong! I’m so sorry you’re going thru this.
Suck it up go with the flow. You have your whole life ahead to make decisions that will make you happy.
Dump the jerk now. They never change
My mom left my dad when I was five and I resented her my childhood thinking she was the bad guy but she was just protecting me from the truth, my dad was cheating on her and had other kids:/ if you decide to leave him you can be honest without having to bash him but he made the choice to cheat on you don’t make yourself suffer more for his choices.
Keep kids out of adult subjects…
Hopefully you two can work through this…
No matter what happens always put your kids first
Meep mop the floor with that man in divorce court. Be professional and protect the practice, I get it, becuz if that fell apart, hundreds of peoples’ medical care could be compromised. File for divorce. Speaking from experience, it’s never in the best interest of a kid, or kids, for mom and dad to stay involved in something that is not healthy. And the only person that would compromise the relationship between the kids and their dad is the dad himself. If you’re breaking, listen to that. Something is not right. If yall do decided to ultimately stay together…I’d suggest heavy counseling. Both separately and together.
Marriage councillor is a definite. Carrying such a burden is unhealthy for you and your husband will have to face the consequences. As for the kids, just let things unfold.
I definitely think you’re doing the right thing by keeping your children out of this. But you also need to take care of you and counseling is a great first step and a must.
I think that the truth is your best option right. You don’t have to go into detail with your children or anybody else. Children can tell when things are not what they should be so be honest. As for your peace of mind , it’s gonna take time. I’ve been there , done that and getting ready to write the book. The first thing you need to do is to pray about it. I firmly believe that any marriage that can be saved should be saved. Until you can forgive what your husband has done (not forget) you will go around with a dark cloud over yourself. Get into activities with and without your children. Your self importance will improve and you will heal.
It doesnt matter where he goes, he will do it again. In the medical field there is a lot of temptation.
At some point your children do need know… You may not be very far in healing but you are where you need to be in it. I’m sorry you have this going on.
Screw that…kick him to curb , you deserve better…he reaps what he sows… …once a cheater always one does matter …
Move on he will do it again and plus while he is with you intimately he will be thinking of her . Just get on with ur life no sense in making yourself miserable
It’s not going to be easy! But him leaving the practice is a great step towards change! Just talk and figure out what you two can agree on! Nobody is perfect! Y’all can move forward together for a positive future as a family!
Once trust is gone the relationship is gone, just my thoughts because I will never trust you again
Leave the kids out of it. Children have a place and its not in an adult situation . They don’t need to know every aspect of there parents life.
Getting your kids involved will only end up hurting them, it really is an adult situation. I respect you for handling it the way you have been. I guess He needs to be open in everything he does. You should have access to his phone and where he is going until you feel you can trust him again. I wonder how he is treating you now and Counseling would help. I know how you feel right now, this happened to me too. If he gets upset when you ask him questions then that would be a big red flag. Does he seem truly sorry or sorry he got caught. In his profession there is a lot more opportunity to cheat. Do you feel he is still talking to her and yes talking on the phone or any type of communication is cheating. Its a hole you think you will never dig yourself out of and so many feelings of not being good enough can really bring you down. If you do plan on staying with him then you need to find a way to forgive and move on but with caution. You know you can tell when something isn’t right so keep yourself in tune to how you feel. But as hard as it is to forgive if you don’t let it go your marriage will fail. I wish you luck and hope you can find a way to be yourself again
First of all before you go telling your kids. How old are your kids because if they are young there is no need to tarnish their outlook on their dad. I personally don’t feel the kids need tolls to know because they are kids the issue is between you and your spouse not you the kids and your spouse because for one he cheated on you not the kids. Always be vocal about your feelings to him, take some time to yourself and don’t protect him because he is your husband not your child. He is suppose to protect you if you’re protecting him which means don’t cheat.
The two of you should go see a marriage counselor to help work through this issue. Once the 2 of you start, then tell your kids. Heal yourselves first before involving the kids.
Robyn, you gave great advice, Children have no place in what’s going on. It sounds like you want the marriage to work, if so go to counseling, try to find a Christian counselor their more in tune to trying to unify the family. Yes, one day you may forgive him but you will never forget. But if your wanting the marriage to work, then take the baby steps. God Bless you and your family. Remember not forgiving only hurts you in your healing. God forgave all that Crucified him.
how old are your children? they might be young enough not to know
You can forgive but you will never forget.
I have no advice. Follow your head. I personally could never stay. But you have to make your own way in life. I think your kids should know.
It takes YEARS to move on from that type of betrayal, especially if you’re staying with the person and I am speaking from experience. It’s hard! Sometimes, you can’t move on from it and sometimes you can. Good luck but if you are determined understand it will take a very large chunk of time and it will always be in the back of your mind no matter what.
Kids will survive move on without him .
Wife is the last to know
Men cheat. It’s what they do. I’ve heard women say “Oh nooooo, not MY man. He would never do that.” Under my breath I’m saying “Honey, you just haven’t caught him yet.”
I would have divorced him n ruined his life
Why should you protect his relationship with ANYONE else? Did you sleep with someone else? Did you risk your kids realtionship with him? Did you care so little as to take down your drawers for someone else? What the crap is wrong that you feel like you should protect him in ANY way whatsoever? Why did he not care enough to protect them himself? Listen, I understand youre hurting, but protection should begin with you. You think he wont be dropping your ‘protection’ and your children’s for a nurse at his new job? Honey, step out and let go. Sometimes people can move on and forgive, but how can you do that when he is one big secret whore? You would protect him after he literally screwed you over? Gosh… Hes got it made — a slut at work and his doormat at home…
Girl…eewww… you need to rat them both out