My husband & I have been together for 10 years. Married for 1. We have two children 6 & 3. He is extremely jealous. He almost everyday jokes about “my boyfriend”. Saying things like “Did you see your boyfriend today?” I have never cheated or even talked to another man since we’ve been together. I’ve told him numerous times that I would never cheat. He’s the one for me & he still “jokes” about it all the time. When he drinks it’s no longer a joke. He constantly accuses me of cheating in the past & present. We share all of our passwords & everything. I don’t have a lock on my phone he has the opportunity to go through it anytime he wants & vice Versa. He rarely goes through my phone though. I love this man, but after awhile I get sick of being accused of something I’ve never done. What should I do?
Well hate to say this, but usually when they start accusing you, it’s because they feel guilty for cheating themselves
He’s the one cheating
Tell him to cut the crap.
I’d say he’s the one that’s cheating. My ex did this to me while he was seeing his ex behind my back.
It’s called projection usually the accuser is the one guilty of the act.
He’s cheating on you. Start going along with it. Tell him you are sick of the comments so you are going to just agree with it from now on
Hun I went through this exact thing with my now ex husband and always accused me of cheating not once did I ever or gave any reason to think that mean while he was the one cheating!!
He’s guilty of cheating so he will blame you
He is the one cheating
He is a cheater and that’s why he is accusing you
He’s cheating. Feeling guilty.
Sounds like he’s definitely projecting😞
He’s acting like he’s trying to cover his cheating up
Usually the accuser is the guilty party…
My ex used to do this, he was the one cheating. The guilty are the biggest accusers.
Those who accuse are usually the ones cheating & hes blaming you to stop you get suspicious, otherwise he has no other reason to accuse
My ex did this when he was cheating on me with one of many of his side whores. I was pregnant at the time and felt trapped. My advice is that you get away from him and find a man that treats you like the queen you are. Know your worth and expect nothing less than what you deserve.
That my friend is called a guilty conscience
My ex husband was almost exactly like that, come to find out he had at least five affairs. I would look into it!
He needs counseling.
From my experience that means he’s cheating…
If they accuse, they are usually the ones doing it.
In my experience the accuser is the cheater…
He’s the one cheating that’s how his guilt is coming out. Just because you go through his phone doesn’t mean he has what they call a burner phone. It’s a separate phone could be leaving it at work could be leaving it in his car could be hiding it God knows where. But for him to act like that after this long he’s the one cheating.
He cheated or is cheating.
Hes guilty AF…been there
unless he has reason to think that then hes cheating and turning it around on you
It might be he’s cheating or he has some type of jealously issues!
He’s probably got insecurities from previous relationships, maybe his own self confidence issues, or he’s the one cheating and is trying to make u feel guilty for something
Um, this is a classic example of shifting blame. Cheaters accuse their partners of cheating
My ex did that to me and he was the one cheating. He was ridiculous
I just left a 9 year relationship for this exact reason if I were you I would run.
Exactly what everyone else is saying! He’s guilty! He’s the one cheating.
Could just mean he’s insecure about something in the relationship, and overly jealous!!
Sounds like he’s hiding something! Maybe he’s feeling guilty himself… these thoughts are obviously always on his mind
I believe that the reason he is doing it is because he’s insecure about himself, and don’t always believe the saying the one that accuses is the one doing it. He may just be insecure.
He seems guilty himself
My mom use to say the person that’s accusing you is usually the guilty one
He’s accusing then he is cheating.
He’s feeling guilty. I’ve been here.
If he’s constantly accusing you I’d be worried that HE was cheating. Probably his guilty conscience
Maybe look up the signs of narcissist abuse because he seems to be one. It’s not normal that you can’t talk to the opposite sex. And I’d be wondering why he’s accusing you of this. He’s irrational and I bet if you called him out on it he’d react irrationally and it would be all your fault in his eyes. I’d turn it around and be like do you have a girlfriend?
Hes cheating. My ex accused me all the time and he ended up being the one cheating
He got issues, insecure about his appearance, jealous, miserable, need therapy or cheating himself. Start looking for a plan b
He is the one cheating on you.
The guilty party screams tha loudest
My ex husband did this to me. He turned out to be the cheater.
1 - he isn’t secure with himself
2 - he’s not secure with your relationship
3 - he’s cheating
Those are the options
He’s totally cheating
Maybe it’s me, but he might not be cheating, some people can be very jealous and I feel like it can lean towards a form of mental abuse towards you in dealing with his own insecurities, I don’t believe it is healthy and it will get worse to where he won’t even let you do anything any more and you are isolated. I would ask him to seek counseling or leave it’s not healthy and trust me healthy love does exist.
I don’t want to get a lot of shit from my comment but I’m on the opposite side… my boyfriend and I have been together 4 years almost and when I met him I was getting out of a relation of 7 years with a man who cheated on me with someone he worked with. A guy I dated in high school for 2 years did the same thing cheated with someone he worked with so I’m constantly doing this to my boyfriend we had split up 3 years ago for 8 months and neither of us slept with another person but did talk to other people so it kinda hurts still. I have never cheated and I know deep down he would never with me but for me my hormones make me literally think one thing and then the next day I’ll be fine but I’ll say he has work girlfriends or that he flirts with guests (he’s a bartender) reading this makes me know I have to stop but I cannot get the feeling out of my head he will do it to me just like the other guys did. Hope it helps a little for a different point of view it does not always mean they are the ones cheating he probably just has a really low self esteem
Ask him why he’s insecure or cheating bc it has to be one ! Really lay it out
I’m not sure how long I’d stay with someone accusing me of cheating daily
He is the one cheating, and kind of hopes you are too so he does not feel guilty for leaving you
cheating he is follow him an find out
Honestly I use to do that, but it wasn’t because I was cheating because I wasn’t but it was because I was insecure which I found self love for myself, so I fixed myself and my relationship is better than ever.
Could he be experiencing a guilty conscience??? My xhubs did.
Welcome to a form of abuse.
He’s most likely cheating and projecting it onto you. his accusations will never stop.
He is definitely cheating on you if he is accusing you for cheating. You deserve better kick him out proto. You and your kids need better then that
And you tolerate this why??
He’s projecting what he’s doing on to you, babe. Get out.
Leave. He’s got a mental problem that you can’t fix. Alternative is therapy.
Leave his ass because when he accuses you of cheating it’s really his ass. I’ve been in your shoes at one time and got tired of the same shit your husband is doing to you. What did i do packed my shit and left?
He’s gaslighting you and will drive you insane on purpose… this isn’t a good thing. Ask if he trust you and cares enough to stop hurting you with something that is not true, also ask if he has ever cheated on you or is thinking about it?
Has he been cheated on? My husband gets this way sometimes but his ex wifr cheated constantly and ended up leaving for a guy while he was at work.
Because he’s the one cheating
Run. That’s toxic behavior. I went through something similar, it started up like that, then him being sure I was gonna leave him for someone else ( same as you I didn’t even talked to other men) I lost friends and the only males that talked to me were like my boss or collage professors and he was sure I was cheating with them. After a while when he didn’t find anything on my phone he started turning violent. I can’t stress this enough… RUN
Run away, he’s too insecure for a relationship
Sounds like he is cheating tbh
I’m not going to be one to say he’s cheating. But some people really are insecure and don’t know how to handle it. But after 10 years you would think he would stop. Every day is very extreme. And that can mess with you mentally. It’s definitely not okay and he needs to stop. I would honestly tell him if he didn’t stop accusing you of cheating you’re going to leave. You deserve so much better.
My husbands ex used to constantly say he was cheating when he wasn’t. Then she left him for his best friend…
I mean, I joke about my boyfriend having a side bae and I’m not cheating It could be insecurity… it could be projecting. Have a conversation and see what you can find out.
Yeah usually when they accuse you its because hes doing it ! But how did you put up with that for so long girl that sounds exhausting !
His guilty conscience getting in his head lol he’s prolly cheating on you that’s why he’s saying that
he has some issue
go to therapy and have him find out what is his trauma from
Is guilt talking. He maybe blaming you for his behavior.
He is either projecting his guilt onto you or really insecure… it will only get better with lots of time and communication or way worse really fast… it won’t stay the same.
Guilty party points the finger. Thats what my grandma says.
Sounds like he is the one cheating… trust me
Speaking for someone who has been that insecure naggy whatever you want to call it. It’s completely possible to be an “accuser” while an accuser not doing any wrong other than being an accuser…
That’s emotional abuse and most likely projection from his own cheating
Either he cheating, or he feels like he’s not good enough for you or making u happy. Either way that’s gotta be frustrating and exhausting for you.
Look up the term Projection.
This sounds like my ex. Who was cheating the entire time.
Narcissitic projection… Run far and fast.
Hes the one cheating and putting his guilt off on you. I’ve been through this and that’s exactly what was going on. He was the one cheating. I hope this isn’t the case for you but it just sounds like it could be. Best wishes to you through this
Usually when they accuse you that’s because they’re guilty of it. I would play along & be like “yup he was here right before you come home” but I’m just petty. Ain’t no man gonna pull that bull on me, I’ll do it right back.
Hmm i smell divorce his stupid ass
Im not going to say hes cheating but in my experience he has cheated, is cheating or is thinking about it. But my advice would be, if you still want to work things out with him you deffiently need to stand your ground and put an end to these “jokes” bc trust me it will drive you mentally crazy. Also if you are already to that point then i would look into therapy for yourself.
Maybe he has been wronged in the past. After ten years, you’d think he would learn to trust you though. I do hope he isn’t projecting his behaviour onto you.
Sounds like a narcissist & very guilty
This is a very unhealthy relationship
Whoever accuses is usually the one cheating…
He’s got a guilty conscience.
Does he have abandonment issues
Run away never going to stop
I’m really sorry, but most likely he is doing that because he probably cheated. Bigger question is was he like this for the first 9 years? If so, why did you marry him?
Sounds like his guilty ass is trying to make himself feel better by judging you by his own shit. Call him on it.
My ex husband would always accuse me of cheating on him. I would go into another room and stay there while his male cousins or male friends were visiting him because he would constantly accuse me of flirting or cheating after everyone would leave. He had access to everything i had. He would say the most God awful things, especially when he drank. I had never cheated on that man. I was physically and mentally abused by him though. He had always been the one cheating and i had caught him numerous of times and he even got drunk one night, called me and proceeded to tell me that he just got a room at a casino and was going cheat on me. I learned that it was never that he thought i was cheating…it was him putting his guilt off on me. I dealt with this for 8 years. I am not saying that your husband is doing all of these things to you but if you’re not cheating, then it may be his guilt and hes finding a way to make himself feel better about it.
My ex husband was a complete narcissist.
Sounds like a hostile situation for you, and he needs to go to counseling if he’s that paranoid.