My husband constantly brings up my past

May I ask what you did for him to feel so insecure or if you even really did anything? Did you cheat on him or something? Maybe you need to leave for a while to give yourself a mental break and just take care of you. I also suggest getting into some form of therapy to kind of help guide you though your feelings.

1 Like

Only speak to him about the kids. If he tries about anything else. Say youre right but i cant change the past so im done talking about it. Basically the principle is its hard to argue if you just agree with him. Heโ€™s the type that it doesnโ€™t matter what you say anyway he just wants to blame you and fight with you.

6 Likes

Youโ€™re separated for a reason. I would move forward with divorce and tell him to stay away.

3 Likes

Get a divorce and tell this lunatic to go straight to hell. This is ridiculous.

3 Likes

He is manipulating you, the only thing you should be talking about is the children. Unfollow his social media, block him on yours. Do not comment on the shit he posts. These are all narcissistic mannerisms. Cut him off, only the children are important.

Tell him to grow up and start pulling his weight or youโ€™re outta there!

The past is the past and canโ€™t be changed. Dredging it up all the time only causes more damage and hurt feelings. If youโ€™re truly done then cut the ties and keep your contact kid related only. Block all the social media crap and move on. Iโ€™d make the separation legal and binding or get a divorce so you can really move on. Stepping backwards would be the same as staying in that rut in the first place or maybe even worse. He sounds like he is tethering between fantasy and reality with is bipolar sounding actions. He may even be dangerous. Close the door that youโ€™re allowing him to keep his foot it :woman_shrugging:t3:

4 Likes

Look up what gaslighting means.
And look up what โ€œcovert narcissitโ€ mean. Youโ€™ll have answers and hopefully some peace

13 Likes

Well one of you needs to be the grown up and get past whatever your issues are and focus on what is important and thatโ€™s the kids. Tell him sorry for whatever if you and if not, tell him bye and get on with life without him.

Get out of there now! Run, donโ€™t walk.

1 Like

Sounds to me like heโ€™s a narcissist and is gas lighting you constantly. You canโ€™t fix someone else. They have to want to work on themselves. You canโ€™t help someone that doesnโ€™t really want to be helped. Sounds to me like he doesnโ€™t want your help, he just wants to make you feel bad. Know your worth. If it doesnโ€™t pertain to your children, if they are minors, cut him off and ignore him. If your children are grown, completely cut him off for your own personal growth to occur. Stop letting that man control you. Best advice i can give is, itโ€™s none of your business what others think if you. You know who you are and what youโ€™re doing. Theyโ€™re gonna talk no matter what you do. Prayers

5 Likes

๐–จ ๐–บ๐—† ๐—๐–พ๐—‹๐—’ ๐—๐–บ๐—‰๐—‰๐—’ ๐—๐—‚๐—๐— ๐—๐—๐—‚๐—Œ ๐–ผ๐—ˆ๐—†๐—‰๐–บ๐—‡๐—’, ๐—๐—๐–พ๐—’ ๐–บ๐—‹๐–พ ๐—๐—๐–พ ๐–ป๐–พ๐—Œ๐— ๐—ˆ๐–ฟ ๐–บ๐—…๐—…. ๐—‚๐— ๐—‚๐—Œ ๐—‹๐–พ๐–บ๐—…๐—…๐—’ ๐—€๐—ˆ๐—ˆ๐–ฝ ๐—๐—ˆ ๐—๐—ˆ๐—‹๐—„ ๐—๐—‚๐—๐— ๐—๐—๐—‚๐—Œ ๐–ผ๐—ˆ๐—†๐—‰๐–บ๐—‡๐—’. ๐–จ ๐—ƒ๐—Ž๐—Œ๐— ๐—€๐—ˆ๐— ๐—†๐—’ ๐—๐—‚๐—๐—๐–ฝ๐—‹๐–บ๐—๐–บ๐—… ๐—Œ๐—Ž๐–ผ๐–ผ๐–พ๐—Œ๐—Œ๐–ฟ๐—Ž๐—…๐—…๐—’. ๐–ข๐—…๐—‚๐–ผ๐—„ ๐—ˆ๐—‡ ๐—๐—๐–พ ๐—…๐—‚๐—‡๐—„ ๐–ป๐–พ๐—…๐—ˆ๐— ๐–ฟ๐—ˆ๐—‹ ๐–ฌ๐—ˆ๐—‹๐–พ ๐—‚๐—‡๐–ฟ๐—ˆ
:point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down:

He is manipulating you through guilt. Constant control He may only speak to you about the children. No more groveling. Canโ€™t change the past. He has one too. Not w counseling to improve your self confidence. Heโ€™s holding you back

2 Likes

๐–จ ๐—€๐—ˆ๐— ๐—‰๐–บ๐—‚๐–ฝ ๐–บ๐—€๐–บ๐—‚๐—‡, ๐–จ ๐–ผ๐–บ๐—‡โ€™๐— ๐—„๐–พ๐–พ๐—‰ ๐—‚๐— ๐—๐—ˆ ๐—†๐—’๐—Œ๐–พ๐—…๐–ฟ ๐–จ ๐—‰๐—‹๐—ˆ๐—†๐—‚๐—Œ๐–พ๐–ฝ ๐–ฏ๐–บ๐—Ž๐—… ๐–ฌ๐–บ๐–ฝ๐—‚๐—ˆ๐— ๐—๐—ˆ ๐—๐–พ๐—…๐—… ๐–บ๐—…๐—… ๐—†๐—’ ๐—…๐—ˆ๐—๐–พ๐–ฝ ๐—ˆ๐—‡๐–พ๐—Œ ๐–บ๐–ป๐—ˆ๐—Ž๐— ๐—๐–พ ๐—‰๐—…๐–บ๐—๐–ฟ๐—ˆ๐—‹๐—†. ๐–ณ๐—ˆ ๐—Œ๐—๐—ˆ๐— ๐–บ๐—‰๐—‰๐—‹๐–พ๐–ผ๐—‚๐–บ๐—๐—‚๐—ˆ๐—‡ ๐–ฟ๐—ˆ๐—‹ ๐—๐—๐–บ๐— ๐—๐–พ ๐–ฝ๐—‚๐–ฝ ๐–ฟ๐—ˆ๐—‹ ๐—†๐–พ, ๐—‚๐—‡๐—๐–พ๐—Œ๐— ๐—๐—‚๐—๐— ๐—๐—‚๐—† ๐—…๐–พ๐—€๐—‚๐— ๐–บ๐—‡๐–ฝ ๐—๐—‹๐—Ž๐—Œ๐—๐—๐—ˆ๐—‹๐—๐—๐—’ :point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down:

๐–จ ๐—๐—ˆ๐—‡๐–พ๐—Œ๐—๐—…๐—’ ๐—๐–บ๐—‡๐— ๐—๐—ˆ ๐–บ๐—‰๐—‰๐—‹๐–พ๐–ผ๐—‚๐–บ๐—๐–พ ๐–ฌ๐—‹ ๐–ฏ๐–บ๐—Ž๐—… ๐–ฌ๐–บ๐–ฝ๐—‚๐—ˆ๐— ๐—๐–บ๐—Œ ๐–ป๐—‹๐—ˆ๐—Ž๐—€๐—๐— ๐—†๐—Ž๐–ผ๐— ๐—…๐—‚๐—€๐—๐— ๐—‚๐—‡๐—๐—ˆ ๐—†๐—’ ๐—…๐—‚๐–ฟ๐–พ ๐–บ๐—‡๐–ฝ ๐–ฟ๐–บ๐—†๐—‚๐—…๐—’ ๐–บ๐–ฟ๐—๐–พ๐—‹ ๐—‚๐—‡๐—๐–พ๐—Œ๐—๐—‚๐—‡๐—€ ๐—๐—‚๐—๐— ๐—๐—‚๐—† ๐–จ ๐–พ๐–บ๐—‹๐—‡ ๐—‚๐—‡ ๐—ƒ๐—Ž๐—Œ๐— 5 ๐–ฝ๐–บ๐—’๐—Œ ๐—ˆ๐–ฟ ๐—๐—‹๐–บ๐–ฝ๐—‚๐—‡๐—€. ๐–ณ๐—๐–บ๐—‡๐—„ ๐—’๐—ˆ๐—Ž ๐–ฌ๐—‹ ๐–ฏ๐–บ๐—Ž๐—… ๐–ฌ๐–บ๐–ฝ๐—‚๐—ˆ๐—, ๐–ฟ๐—ˆ๐—‹ ๐—๐–พ๐—…๐—‰๐—‚๐—‡๐—€ ๐—†๐–พ ๐—๐—‚๐—๐— ๐—†๐—’ ๐—๐—‹๐–บ๐–ฝ๐–พ
๐—’๐—ˆ๐—Ž ๐–ผ๐–บ๐—‡ ๐–บ๐—…๐—Œ๐—ˆ ๐–ผ๐—ˆ๐—‡๐—๐–บ๐–ผ๐— ๐—๐—‚๐—† ๐—๐–พ๐—‹๐–พ ๐–ฟ๐—ˆ๐—‹ ๐—†๐—ˆ๐—‹๐–พ ๐–ฝ๐–พ๐—๐–บ๐—‚๐—…๐—Œ
:point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down:

He sounds like a narcissistโ€ฆ look into it. Get counseling. Cut ties block as much as possible.

4 Likes

๐–ณ๐—‹๐—Ž๐—Œ๐— ๐—†๐–พ ๐—๐—‚๐—๐— ๐—๐—๐—‚๐—Œ ๐—‰๐—…๐–บ๐—๐–ฟ๐—ˆ๐—‹๐—†, ๐–จ ๐–ฝ๐—ˆ๐—‡โ€™๐— ๐—๐—๐—‚๐—‡๐—„ ๐—’๐—ˆ๐—Ž ๐—๐—‚๐—…๐—… ๐—Œ๐—๐—‚๐—…๐—… ๐—‡๐–พ๐–พ๐–ฝ ๐—๐—ˆ ๐–ผ๐—ˆ๐—‡๐—๐—‚๐—‡๐—Ž๐–พ ๐—…๐—ˆ๐—ˆ๐—„๐—‚๐—‡๐—€ ๐–ฟ๐—ˆ๐—‹ ๐—๐—ˆ๐—‹๐—„ ๐–บ๐—€๐–บ๐—‚๐—‡, ๐—๐—‹๐—Ž๐—Œ๐— ๐—†๐–พ ๐—’๐—ˆ๐—Ž๐—‹ ๐—Œ๐—๐—ˆ๐—‹๐—’ ๐—‚๐—Œ ๐—€๐—ˆ๐—‚๐—‡๐—€ ๐—๐—ˆ ๐–ผ๐—๐–บ๐—‡๐—€๐–พ ๐—๐—‚๐—๐— ๐—ƒ๐—Ž๐—Œ๐— ๐—๐–บ๐—„๐–พ ๐—ˆ๐—‡๐–พ ๐—Œ๐—๐–พ๐—‰, ๐–บ๐—‡๐–ฝ ๐–ป๐–พ ๐—’๐—ˆ๐—Ž๐—‹ ๐—ˆ๐—๐—‡ ๐–ป๐—ˆ๐—Œ๐—Œ
100% ๐—…๐–พ๐—€๐—‚๐—โ€ฆ๐—ƒ๐—ˆ๐—‚๐—‡ ๐—๐—๐–พ ๐–ฅ๐–บ๐–ผ๐–พ๐–ป๐—ˆ๐—ˆ๐—„ ๐—…๐—‚๐—‡๐—„ ๐–ฟ๐—ˆ๐—‹ ๐—†๐—ˆ๐—‹๐–พ ๐—‚๐—‡๐–ฟ๐—ˆ
:point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down:

๐—๐—ˆ๐—, ๐–จ ๐—๐—‚๐—…๐—… ๐–บ๐—…๐—๐–บ๐—’๐—Œ ๐—๐–พ๐—Œ๐—๐—‚๐–ฟ๐—’ ๐–บ๐–ป๐—ˆ๐—Ž๐— ๐—๐—๐—‚๐—Œ ๐–ผ๐—ˆ๐—†๐—‰๐–บ๐—‡๐—’, ๐—๐—๐–พ๐—’ ๐–บ๐—‹๐–พ ๐—Œ๐—Ž๐–ผ๐— ๐–บ ๐—๐—ˆ๐—‡๐–ฝ๐–พ๐—‹๐–ฟ๐—Ž๐—… ๐–บ๐—‡๐–ฝ ๐–บ ๐—€๐—ˆ๐—ˆ๐–ฝ ๐–ผ๐—ˆ๐—†๐—‰๐–บ๐—‡๐—’, ๐–จ ๐—๐–พ๐–บ๐—‹๐–ฝ ๐—‰๐–พ๐—ˆ๐—‰๐—…๐–พ ๐—๐–พ๐—Œ๐—๐—‚๐–ฟ๐—’๐—‚๐—‡๐—€ ๐–บ๐–ป๐—ˆ๐—Ž๐— ๐—๐—๐–พ๐—† ๐–บ๐—‡๐–ฝ ๐–จ ๐–ฝ๐–พ๐–ผ๐—‚๐–ฝ๐–พ๐–ฝ ๐—๐—ˆ ๐—ƒ๐—ˆ๐—‚๐—‡ ๐–บ๐—‡๐–ฝ ๐—Œ๐—‚๐—‡๐–ผ๐–พ ๐—๐—๐–พ๐—‡ ๐–จ ๐—๐–บ๐—๐–พ ๐–ป๐–พ๐–พ๐—‡ ๐—†๐–บ๐—„๐—‚๐—‡๐—€ ๐—€๐—ˆ๐—ˆ๐–ฝ ๐—‰๐—‹๐—ˆ๐–ฟ๐—‚๐— ๐—๐—‚๐—๐— ๐—๐—๐–พ๐—†. ๐–จ ๐—ƒ๐—Ž๐—Œ๐— ๐—‹๐–พ๐–ผ๐–พ๐—‚๐—๐–พ๐–ฝ ๐—†๐—’ ๐—Œ๐–พ๐–ผ๐—ˆ๐—‡๐–ฝ ๐—๐—‚๐—๐—๐–ฝ๐—‹๐–บ๐—๐–บ๐—… ๐–ฟ๐—‹๐—ˆ๐—† ๐—๐—๐–พ๐—† ๐—Œ๐—Ž๐–ผ๐–ผ๐–พ๐—Œ๐—Œ๐–ฟ๐—Ž๐—…๐—…๐—’ ๐—๐—‚๐—๐—๐—ˆ๐—Ž๐— ๐–บ๐—‡๐—’ ๐—‚๐—Œ๐—Œ๐—Ž๐–พ. ๐—Œ๐—ˆ ๐—’๐—ˆ๐—Ž ๐–ผ๐–บ๐—‡ ๐—Œ๐—๐–บ๐—‹๐— ๐—†๐–บ๐—„๐—‚๐—‡๐—€ ๐—’๐—ˆ๐—Ž๐—‹ ๐—ˆ๐—๐—‡ ๐—‰๐—‹๐—ˆ๐–ฟ๐—‚๐— ๐–บ๐— ๐—๐—ˆ๐—†๐–พ.
๐—๐—๐–บ๐—โ€™๐—Œ ๐—๐—‚๐—Œ ๐—…๐—‚๐—‡๐—„ ๐—Ž๐—Œ๐–พ ๐—‚๐— ๐—๐—ˆ ๐–ผ๐—ˆ๐—‡๐—๐–บ๐–ผ๐— ๐—๐—‚๐—† ๐–ฟ๐—ˆ๐—‹ ๐—†๐—ˆ๐—‹๐–พ ๐—‚๐—‡๐–ฟ๐—ˆ๐—‹๐—†๐–บ๐—๐—‚๐—ˆ๐—‡ ๐—ˆ๐—‡ ๐–ฅ๐–บ๐–ผ๐–พ๐–ป๐—ˆ๐—ˆ๐—„
:point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down:

1 Like

๐—œ๐—ป๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜ ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐˜†๐—ฝ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐—ฎ ๐—น๐—ฒ๐—ด๐—ถ๐˜ ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ. ๐—”๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ป ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ด๐—ต ๐—บ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜† ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ฒ๐—ฏ๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฒ ๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—บ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ถ ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐˜‚๐—ฐ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ณ๐˜‚๐—น๐—น๐˜† ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฑ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜„ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—ณ๐—ถ๐˜๐˜€ ๐—ณ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—บ ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—บ ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—บ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜€ ๐˜€๐—ผ ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ผ๐—น ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต๐—ผ๐˜‚๐˜ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜† ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—น๐—ฎ๐˜† ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ณ๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐˜‚๐—น๐˜๐˜†. ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐˜ ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—บ ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜„
:point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down:
:envelope_with_arrow::envelope_with_arrow::envelope_with_arrow::envelope_with_arrow::envelope_with_arrow::envelope_with_arrow::envelope_with_arrow::envelope_with_arrow:

I feel so much of this! My ex did alot of this gaslighting ridiculousness!!! You are strong and amazing and worthy of love (your own) move forward and stay strong!

5 Likes

Get a divorce. Block him on social media and only communicate about your children.

4 Likes

Every time he brings it up just tell him that was in the past, and youโ€™re not living there anymore. You canโ€™t erase the past, but you CAN stop living there. Did your actions hurt him, probably, but you canโ€™t force him to hurry up and get over it any more than you can make him forget it. Iโ€™d tell him, he can choose to live in the past, or he can start moving on towards the future. If you dont want to be with him, then divorce and be done. Donโ€™t keep blurring the lines between separation and marriage. Maybe thatโ€™s the reason he keeps bringing it up. To use your guilt to manipulate you into feeling so bad about yourself and your choices, that you second guess yourself and lower your relationship expectations. Toxic is still toxic. Draw boundaries and be a hard ass on them. Itโ€™s what you both need to grow individually, and eventually move on and forward.

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divorce him. he needs help

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He will never let you both move on, better you can move on with your life and starting over all of this you do not deserve the rest of your lifeโ€ฆ

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Sounds like you both maybe should try marital counseling if you want to save it. Sometimes that helps to make you both aware of how each other feels.

Ummm it takes two and I donโ€™t know your story donโ€™t need too , itโ€™s never just one sided there is plenty of blame to go around donโ€™t take it all on yourself he owns half of it , for whatever reason you did what you did or didnโ€™t do start with something he did or didnโ€™t do

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Divorce and take charge of your life. Change your password on fb and turnoff notifications. Tell the kids your feelings for him have changed and that maybe you were too young to marry but you had a great life with him and have wonderful children because of it. Tell them you hope he finds someone new and lovely. Just remember he wont stop his bull he will do what he can to hurt you. Ive been divorced for 12 years now and he used my son against me until i played his game then he showed no interest anymore. Its dominance so just step back and let him take the lead until he gets sick of playing.

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Simple just quit talking to him ever!

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How about you get rid of him and admin for this group get rid if of these blood sucking idiots that keep leeching onto this group with their money making crap comments :rage:

Unfortunately you need to go to court and establish boundaries on communication or he probably wonโ€™t stop. For the time being, donโ€™t argue with him, just say โ€œokayโ€ to whatever he blames you for and let him think heโ€™s winning and you can keep some peace for yourself. Your kids may not understand now but they will eventually see why you and him didnโ€™t work out

No comment. Enough said.

Narcissists will beat you over the head with something, because they project their feelings onto you. Life is too short to be unhappy. You already know that together it canโ€™t work,so your only option is to cut ties to him so you can move on. You can work out a way for him to be with the kids,but he doesnโ€™t need to be with you.

Your wish to disappear from your family show the sign that u r suffering from depression , seek medical help and for the rest of story those who critiscize u are ones who do less than u atleast I found this true.

What a narcissistic jerk. First. Let it go and let him go toโ€ฆ Hades. Heโ€™s trying to control you. Donโ€™t let him. Ignore him and his untrue, nasty, comments. Counseling could help. A divorce would be better. Keep telling yourselfโ€ฆ he doesnโ€™t love you. If he did, he would show it. He clearly HAS NOT

Google โ€œgaslightingโ€. Read the definition carefully. Find a good therapist. Heal. Remember that your kids are learning from you two how their romantic relationships should be and how men and women should behave in relationships.