Basically me and my husband got back from a party and he had a few to drink. We got home and he just kept saying i had enough and that he wants to be living that single life again. Anytime we have a argument he will always say we don’t get on and we should separate. Then the next day he will apologize. We have been married for 10 years and have 2 kids. It hurts everytime to hear him say things like this. We were perfectly fine yesterday until he had a drink and thought it was okay to say i was his biggest regret. I literally have zero time for myself i literally do everything while he thinks it’s okay to sleep all day and do nothing. He left his job aswell. Everything is all on my shoulders and i honestly dont think i deserve this. We don’t go out or nothing. What could i be doing wrong for him to feel this way. Really heartbroken
Then give him what he wants
It will hurt like hell for you initially because you still love him or at least who he was supposed to be. Change is incredibly hard but you DONT deserve this. He’s let go, being lazy, and constantly dragging your life down all because he’s no longer happy that he has to be responsible.
Your best bet at this point is to just let go. Youre living the single life as it is, you just have a roommate.
Do whats best for you, hun. You deserve to be happy.
Give him what he wants. Separate. Take time to find yourself again. Spend quality time with your kids. Then when you’re ready find someone who will cherish you and love you like you deserve
Drunk words are sober thoughts…
So, you’re doing it all on your own AND your husband is telling you he wants to be single.
Let him be single then. Let him move out and see what it’s like to take care of himself. Let him see what the dating world is like.
When he comes crawling back, tell him to kick rocks!
If you are doing everything what do you or the kids need him living with you. Tell him if he wants to be single go for it. Then you need to file for divorce or legal seperation to get child support.
Sounds like you need to give him a taste of the “single life” where he has to do everything for himself. The grass is always greener…
This is on him. He doesn’t want the responsibility of being a husband or a father. Let him do him. File for divorce and let him get a job and support his kids. You’ll have time for yourself when he has the kids for his visits every weekend. He can remember all the things you’ve done for him while you do them for yourself now.
Move along, darling. There’s no fixing a man who’s tired of responsibility
This is on him. From the little you shared, it sounds like he may be having mental health issues. Alcohol is only going to make it worse. Can you encourage him to talk to a doctor or therapist? Can you ask him what aspects of the “single life” he wishes he had? Sometimes people get burnt out carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Could you two take a little vacation to get away - even for a weekend - to talk and reconnect?
You didn’t do anything wrong . Please do yourself a favor and find someone who appreciates you and your family.
Time to go and give him what he thinks he wants. You’ll feel so much better just pouring love into yourself and your children.
I think you know what you should do. Your already doing it alone. You deserve better. Hugs mama
You are doing everything. He wants a mama not a wife. Get rid of him. You deserve better.
It sounds like some depression. Those are harsh words for him to speak, that shouldn’t be excused. Before jumping to rash decisions, if there’s still a will to save the marriage, I would suggest therapy. Individual or couples would be helpful to both of you guys.
Most peoples inner feelings come out while being under the influence I say let him go because you dont deserve that and imagine if he were out drunk on his own he most likely will cheat if given an easy opportunity because of his inner turmoil. You deserve much more hun and you are working your behind off you definitely need a man that will be a man.
I feel like both of you know you are no longer happy and scared to leave.
Sounds like he needs you more than you need him. He will realize that when you’re gone. I know it’s easier said than done but you deserve better and when you get a taste of what better is, you’ll be soo happy you left!
First, and foremost, you mentioned he left his job and sleeps all day so I would assume you are paying all of the bills. This would be grounds for immediate divorce for me. I would NEVER and I mean NEVER take care of a grown “man” that is capable of working. Secondly, drunken words are sober thoughts. He’s not just saying this because he’s had some drinks. Don’t let that be an excuse for his words or actions. My EX tried to blame his cheating on his drinking and quit drinking after he got caught. Needless to say, I walked away from the life I built with this man of nearly 18 years immediately! Additionally, he is verbally abusing you with his words and manipulating you with his meaningless apologies. Annnnddd you have children with him!?!?!?!?! Do not put up with this behavior! Find your confidence, know your worth, get your strength, and don’t walk, but run from this “marriage”. However, do not leave your home. I’d be telling him it’s time to kick rocks and leave. If not for your own well being, do it for your children. Otherwise, you are teaching your children that this is normalcy and how a women/mother should be treated.
Ladies, respect yourself enough to not allow anyone to make you feel less than or make you feel as if you are not enough! YOU ARE ENOUGH QUEEN! Remember, confidence is beauty!
I have ONE word for him “Bye Felicia” ok it’s two words! It’s only a matter of time before he starts stepping out! And the fact he ain’t working either be careful he don’t come after you for alimony, cuz if you taking care of him now you’ll def be taking care of him for a very long time while he’s living that single life! Look at the red flags he’s giving you, get out NOW!
I’m sorry you are dealing with that hurt. I’d tell mine to get a lawyer and file for divorce because if he doesn’t the next he says that I’ll be getting the lawyer and dealing with it so he can go love the single life
When someone tells you how they feel or who they are, believe them! Ultimately its up to you how you handle this. Is he genuine when he apologizes? If its happened more than once, it probably isnt.
Give him what he wants and you need. You are basically a single mom as your post explains. All the responsibility and weight with no help. You will feel better alone when you’re not also picking up and taking care of him as well. Take care of YOU and your babies. Let him go.
It’s past time to go girl!! Give him what he wants, it will only get worse!! If you are doing it all on your own, then what is he still doing there? When there are children involved, I realize it’s not that easy to just leave…but it is time to be making those preparations, and you will know when the right time is! You, AND your children deserve better!! I am a single mom, and the peace is worth it!
Pack his stuff and tell him to go live the singles life! They say when a person’s been drinking, they say things they don’t have the guts to say sober. He’s telling you he is miserable and wants out! You deserve better!
What your doing wrong is samenthing I did for 25 years nothing wrong but being taken advantage of. At 61 I’m separated 3 years now. Best thing I could of done. Don’t keep thinking you can fix it you can’t. Move one
The only thing you’re doing wrong his staying with him!
Unhappy people tend to make other people unhappy too. Please take care of yourself, or he’ll pull you right under with him.
Drunken words are sober thoughts. Honestly if it were me I would cut ties and save the heartache it’s not worth it to keep putting yourself through that.
He may be depressed. But has no rt to talk to you like that flip the switch. Next time say bye. Then c what happens.
Leave him. If he’s not working, tell him to get out. Why keep someone who is telling you they don’t want to be with you and contributing nothing? You deserve better. At this point anything you may or may not be doing is irrelevant and honestly you don’t have to be doing anything for someone to be like that. Even if you were messing up, someone who is right for you would communicate what the issues are and not just jump to wanting to be single.
Give the man what he wants. You’ve showed him what you’ll tolerate & that when he disrespects you you’re only going to cry. Being married doesn’t mean you have to let the other person treat you like crap. Drunken words are sober thoughts. Do him & yourself a favor. Leave, or pack his things & kick him out.
It sounds like he needs encouragement and uplifting. Try that first.
Sounds like you both need to stop drinking. If he still feels the same move out.
Drunken words, sober thoughts. Make a plan and prepare for yourself and your kids and then let this go. Once is an apology 10 years worth is divorce. Move on to someone who wants to be a partner, not an emotionally abusive
a$$ and a leech.
IMO, I think that’s his end game anyway (quitting his job, doing nothing, etc.) is to get you to do the leaving so he feels less guilty. Give him what he thinks is a win. You and the kids will be the real winners.
I’m so sorry that you’ve been treated this way. You deserve SO much better.
Hmm if it was me, I’d have been gone by now. He would be having his single life. Move on, it’s over and you know it, let him go… He’s done and unhappy he feels trapped u still love him, he’s not any more. You will find someone who’s wants and loves you, it’s just not your husband anymore. He is definitley brewing up on the just walk out of this situation soon. So beat him to it. He no longer is inlove with you, and is wanting out. Move on.
A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts. Period. But if he said that on more than one occasion then apparently he truly means it. Try counseling.
You didn’t, do anything, it’s him. Your marriage couldn’t have been all that great for 10 years. He has been depending on you and your attention for his happiness. Now some of your attention has been diverted away from him. Kick him out let him go live the single life. It’s not for dependent people. I am single, and love it. You may find you have a happier life without him in it and have more time for your self. File for divorce, and child support and set visitation.unless you want to keep putting up with his degrading crap. People will treat you how you let them.
To me, it sounds like he wants the single life while also wanting the security of you doing everything for him. Do NOT let him take advantage of you like that. There is still someone out there that will love you for you and your efforts, your children and the person he is holding you hostage from.
Focus on you and tell him to get out and couch surf like single guys do. You don’t deserve that heartache.
YOU,are not doing anything wrong. It’s him. Get out while you can. You deserve better, a PARTNER, not a boy…Some people just don’t want to change. I wasted 47 yrs. Wish I had left years ago
Let him leave & see the single life ain’t what he thinks. Let him do him, while you find yourself again. He’ll lose himself & you will start focusing more on yourself & remember everything amazing about yourself
Let he be single
You deserve someone who always pick you and never make you feel unwanted or unsure.
Let him go girl. But get him some help. He sounds like he is in a badspot. Be his peace.
I would encourage him to leave then. You would be better off without him. Focus on your kids and yourself.
He left his job and does nothing? He is not contributing anything to this marriage but abuse. Let him go.
You’re staying. That’s what you’re doing wrong. That’s a dealbreaker for me sorry. Once that comes out “ you’re my biggest regret’ there is no coming back from that. Girl get a backbone and leave.
Then make his ass single since he wants it so badly find someone that treats you right and makes you happy because hes definitely not doing it for you. He will regret it.
Therapy STAT! For you, for him, for you both together. Get professional help to work through these situations.
It might suck to be with someone so long but you know what you gotta do that’s go your own way what do you need him for if you are already doing everything for the kids and yourself . Maybe separating he will realize the single life isn’t the greatest and realize that he made a mistake
You’re doing absolutely zero wrong he on the other hand sounds like a piece of work I’d get rid of him…
Let him live the single life . If everything is already all on your shoulders why are you keeping him around.
Tell him you thought about what he said and you agree that he should live the single life and he should leave
Girly you deserve so much better. His issues are his, set that extra weight down and focus on you.
You know you deserve better. He’s telling you he wants to be single so let him be.
A drunk mans words are a sober mans true feelings.
He’s the one with the problem, not you.
I would let him go.
I know it’s not easy, I know it will hurt, but he’s only going to continue to hurt you if you let him stay.
Spending years of your life with someone who makes you feel that way, is going to damage you for a long time to come. Save yourself the damage and cut him loose.
Drunk words speak sober thoughts.
Pack his suitcase and sit it by the door.
Let him live the single life then and leave….if you are already doing it all then you got this.
Give him the single life he desires
Nope!! As much as you might not want to, you need to get the gumption to either leave or ask him to leave and file for divorce. It’s not going to get better.
When people drink they always tell you what they really feel in my opinion.
He seems like an immature ass, I would offer a legal separation or a divorce. Watch his reaction. Make sure you and the kids are protected.
When they are drunk they say how they feel I would pack my stuff and get out of it I no how that feels
Let him go. He said it couple times. You don’t need another kid, you need a partner. Someone who is mature enough to help you carry the load and emotional mature too not to say those things when you got into an argument. You’ll be better off yourself and your kids. Someone else will love and appreciate you
Tell him you know where door is. By by loser.
I’d pack his things and leave them at the door, let him have what he wants, if your doing it all alone anyways then you can continue to do so for your kids.
I dealt with this exact situation for 12 years and always took his apologies but in the same time I was tearing myself down, trying to do all I could to make him happy just to be treated as I was only a free place to live while he took from myself and our child for his wants of his alcohol abuse and being treated as
The day I left an divorced him was the absolute best choice I made for myself and my daughter!
Let him live it if he really thinks his missing out just let him no you won’t be sticking around sorry but his bloody cheeky
Drunken man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts. He feels that by telling you this while “intoxicated” that it excuses him because you wouldn’t think he’s being honest, because of the “state he’s in”. It’s his scapegoat and he’s using it to his advantage. Best advice I can give is to get your and your children’s belongings and RUN! He’s telling you he doesn’t want you and that you were/are his biggest regret… Get out while you still have some dignity!
He wants to live that single life, but he sure likes living that easy life. Stopped working, doesn’t have to clean up after himself, someone to take care of his kids. Girl, release him back into the wild. Let him see how great that single life is with no job and being lazy af . Make sure you throw him out far enough he doesn’t find his way back home.
Girl. Next time he says that, Look at him with a straight face and say, “Me too. Please leave and go be single so i can get a man who can provide up in here.”
So he don’t work, he don’t help around house… You have to do every thing. An she’s verbely abusive when drunk … That’s not a relationship. Please know you are worth so much more then this… I understand it’s hard and sitting here via fb everyone can tell you to leave but it’s harder said then done… But I can promise you from past experiences it will be the best thing to do… And tho I’d say the first year you will be on a roller coaster of emotions. Once you’ve through that you will be so happy x
Sounds like he has a drinking problem. You could tell him to get help and get your shit together or pack your stuff and go. That you cannot live this way. That it is not fair to you and your children.
Give him his wish.kick him out .
What they say while drunk is the real deal
Cut your losses and send him on his way
Sounds to me like you should let him go back to that single life. He isn’t contributing anything anyway or being a partner. Cut Him Loose. You will be ok.
Kick him out let him support his self and pay childsupport see how much he likes single life he’s living off u and making u miserable putting u down u worth more than that
Honey, YOU aren’t the problem here. He is. This is a conversation that needs to happen. I wouldn’t even wait til next time it comes out of his mouth. I’d go to him and say we need to talk. And I would straight up explain to him how hurtful it is to have an uninvolved partner that leaves everything on your shoulders and refuses to participate in the day to day part, muchless contribute to the household financially or any other way. Then has the gall to tell you he wishes he were single. If you’re so hell bent on being single, then go do it, buddy. Because what you signed up for was a partner. Not a mooch. He’s not holding up his end of this partnership. But I’d also make it clear you’re not gonna sit here and be a party or enabler to your behavior. If this is what you want, we will divorce and he will move out immediately. And I’m not gonna sit around and wait for you to realize how stupid you’re being. I’ll move on, without you, continuing to do everything on my own without you. He has a choice to make. Either you tough it out and commit to thus family and your partner or you quit wasting all of our time and gtfo. I don’t need to be with you, I chose to. There’s a difference.
In the meantime, give him a list of things he needs to do daily. If he’s not working outside the home, there’s no reason why it all should fall on you. Hold his feet to the fire on that list and quit enabling his behavior. What you allow will continue. Quit letting him get away with it. If he refuses, kick him out and file for divorce. If you’re doing it all, one less to deal with and take care of financially and mentally isn’t going to make your life any worse than it currently is.
You deserve better! I’ve been with my husband for almost 10yrs and never not once has he ever said things like that to me. We don’t get to go out either and he still never said that to me.
If he lost his job and is unable to find another he could be depressed and taking it out on you. Not that, that is ok. I’d he was like this before he lost his job, then leave his butt. You don’t need him. But either way, he needs to get his burr up and get a job and get some help.
You’re not doing nothing wrong. Either he needs mental health help (my ex did the same) or he’s just being a lazy A$$hole
Leave him!! He doesn’t deserve you!
Fuck him off. You deserve better.
since he doesn’t work, and you are supporting him kick his butt out and let him see if he can make it on his own
I would give him want he wants then. If someone doesn’t love me freely then they can go.
Misery loves company. He is miserable therefore he thinks you should be too.
He’s ashamed of himself but projecting on to you.
He keeps telling you something, I think its time you believe it.
It’s him, not you! You definitely do not deserve to be treated like this. If he’s not doing his part in helping you what so ever and being an ugly drunk, you should leave if things do not change. I would sit down and get everything out in the open. Like, does he plan to get a job again, he should be waking up with you to help with the kids, tidying the house, bills, drinking, and if he truly wants to be single. Communication is key. Have a talk and go from there. Best of luck.
This is mental abuse girl! Either he needs counseling to figure himself out or you just need to cut ties now. This isn’t good for you momma
Husband is now delivered from Ancestral in Jesus mighty name Amene!
He sleeps all day?? Girl he should be your biggest regret
I would give him his wish,he will end up regretting it by then you will be happy
What you’re doing wrong? Only thing you’re doing wrong is staying with someone who regrets being with you
A drunk mind speaks a sober heart they say.
You’re not perfectly okay. He’s speaking the truth about how he feels.
He needs to see a professional for his mind!! He’s in a bad place in his head. Get him the help he needs. If he refuses then leave.
Divorce him and find a man who will appreciate you. Why do you put up with a lazy do nothing who says hurtful things??
Drunk words are sober thoughts. You deserve to be happy.