Why are you so lame…Stop doing everything, he’ll notice I guarantee.
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Stress usually causes weight gain. Or it does in me. Get out.
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For doing work in spare time i maklng $ 500 every day using my mobile. l never th0ught l c0uld d0 that, but my frlend w0uld earn m0re than $ 17,270 a m0nth and persuade me t0 glve lt a try. The p0sslbllltles are endless.
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You’re already doing everything. Your stress levels will be much lower if you are no longer with him. You will also actually be able to find time for yourself, because you don’t realize how much time is taken up with the fights he picks with you, and the extra work he makes for you.
go away for a week end and tell him you want the house and kids in the same condition they are in before you leave when you get back and see if he can do it …
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You leave him to do everything you do for just 1 day/evening then come back and see how he handles it. He’s Gona complain anyway so why not 
Some people you just can’t please. No matter what you do.
I’d done lost it by now if I had to hear that everyday and I’d say well we can’t split and then you actually have to do 50/50 with me.
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the:clap:man(eh)is:clap:your:clap:only:clap:problem:clap:drop:clap:him:clap: and watch your anxieties disappear!!! Please for the love of whatever you love most kick him out!! Don’t leave him kick him out!!! ASAP
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He’s miserable and bullying you because he can’t figure out how to fix his own insecurities and what he lacks. It’s him not you. Anyone can placate words to tell a narrative. He can take a half truth or insecurity and run with it. He should seek help and you should leave or better have him leave. Super unhealthy, you do plenty! 
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You sound like you are overwhelmed and under appreciated. This man is not acknowledging what you do for your family. It’s very hard to work,look after kids,clean house and make time for ourselves. I used to feel i was constantly chasing my tail trying to keep on top of things. This man sounds like he is lazy and doesn’t see how much of yourself you are giving to this family. I would seriously think about getting out of this relationship. X
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You’re already doing everything already so don’t be worried to leave. What he is doing is emotional abuse and until you take control he will continue to make you feel like this. I promise your life will be so much better without him in it
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You already do it you don’t need him
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A calm shower, he has all day to take a bloody calm shower. He needs to help YOU. Sorry babe but he needs to be put in his place.
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Get someone to come to the house once or twice a week to help with the cleaning and else so you can have time for yourself. Let your husband pay for the helper. He is the one complaining so, he should know the price too… take care of yourself too.
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Whatever u are hoping through I’m sorry. Sorry too for not finishing this very long post , it was too long. I hope you get the solution you want
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He’s putting on you, what he feels about himself hun. That’s what this is. Give him a final talk and then consider other options. Abuse is abuse no matter the form. You sound like wonder woman… I’d be proud to have you as a mother or wife.
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No ma’am, you’re already a single mother, make it official, I guarantee he’s the type of “man” to fight you for custody, let him. Let him have the kids as long as you think is fair, 50/50 is usually good. That will give both of you the same exact things to do every week/bi weekly. He doesn’t have any reason or excuse to not have them since he works from home, and it’s honestly easier for him to since he’s home. I don’t understand how anyone can do as little as he does, and still complain their partner isnt. Screaming is still abuse, especially with kids around. I think it’s best you leave but I understand some hesitation, ultimatums aren’t ALL bad especially with someone you can’t talk to or is constantly running the show and controlling the situations. Either you both go to counseling together and he starts understanding everything you do so he can do it too, or you’re gone and you will share custody or he will pay child support. This is ridiculous and I’m so sorry your partner turned into someone you don’t recognize.
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Your already doing everything so it doesnt matter
Your perception is your perception. It would be he same if he was married to someone else. This man is a louse. Everything is your fault. Never his. You are letting him transfer his excuses on to you. You are not his mother. Who, other than him, told you all these things are your responsibilities to do? This man is a user and a worthless piece of crap. If you are doing everything what do you need him for? Get what I MEAN? You just work and work? While he’s doing what? Standing there giving you orders what to do. Girl, get rid of him and find someone who wants you for something other than a work horse…it will be one person that you don’t have to cook for, cllean for pick up after. You will be surprised how much lighter your work load will be with just one adult mess maker gone!! Good luck !
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It took me divorcing my childrens father to get him to realize what I contributed to the house
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Wow first thing remember you are enough! He’s the one with a problem, he’s a bully.
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He couldn’t do half of what you do and he’s making you feel insecure about yourself because of it. I agree with everyone else, he is your stress and anxiety. You’re better off.
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Oooo sis, your husband is the lucky one & he KNOWS it. That’s why he has to constantly berate you & put you down ~ insecurity that you’d have time to think about what an absolute ass you married. It’s 2022 & if a man isn’t pulling his fair share of the weight in a household he needs to know it!
People saying leave but I say delegate some of the work to him first. Be calm about it. If he yells don’t react; don’t flinch. Look him dead in the eye & say, “I’m overwhelmed, babe. If you do (name a task) then I’ll be able to do (name another task that needs to be done). I don’t have 8 arms & can’t do everything at once.” And then proceed to do the task you said you would do. If he doesn’t help or stop yelling, don’t do either of the tasks & say, “Please show me how I should be doing both at the same time. Show me so I can follow your example.” And stand back to watch.
Let me tell you, if a man won’t help, even after you’ve told him you’re overwhelmed & struggling, then he doesn’t love you enough & you don’t deserve that unfulfilling & empty relationship. Instead it is HE who is dependent on you & he’s trying to ensure you’re too blinded, by the fear of losing him, to see it. Best wishes! I hope things work out for you. You sound like a GREAT mom for your boys.
Make time, stop washing his dishes stop washing his clothes stop cooking his meals don’t make his side of the bed. He doesn’t want to help them stop doing his shit for him and make him do his own as he is acting like a spoilt brat.
You need a holiday mum. Seriously tho. Even a weekend away, go book a hotel for a couple of nights and let him deal with the household duties and the kids. You need a break.
Honestly if i was in your shoes i would have lost my mind by now and confronted him with everything and told him to step up or leave. I couldn’t deal with all that stress alone. He should be your #1 supporter and helping out more not putting you down like that. He is no man and you deserve so much more than that! 
Couple counselling may help and for your sake i hope that they can pull him up for you cause he needs a reality check big time. I wish you all the best!!! 
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So sit and do nothing just feed and bathe the kids then hire a maid to clean the mess if he’s not happy and give him the bill … Value yourself honey good luck
Perhaps you need to see a marriage counsellor with your husband. Maybe you should get him to spend more time with the boys and in that time spend a little me time on you. Sounds like you both need help.
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Call in sick and lie down all day in bed; see how he manages everything with the kids and housework. Hire a maid !
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Know matter what you do never be good e
Go out to card game or book club monthly. Go to ladies Bible class, Sunday School class. Tell your husband when you are going and what he needs to do while you are gone. Make sure he knows you are not doing it when you get back. He is responsible to feed, homework, dishes, baths in bed. Don’t you dare come home until after all that should be done!
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Tell him you’ve had enough of his attitude and that if it continues u think it would be best to end the marriage. You’re already doing everything. If u do separate encourage him to have a r/ship with the kids so u get “time out”. Husband doesn’t sound like he respects or appreciates you. Enough is ENOUGH! You could try counselling b4 a split if u want to try and work it out.
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Tell him. If he doesn’t like the way things are done. Then he can get off his big lazy shit talking ass and do it himself. You do things a certain way and that’s how they are going to get done.
You might as well leave him at least you will have some time to your self when he gets 1/2 custody .
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he is definitely mentally abusive and you are a super mom. why cant he do laundry or clean the house especially since he is home all day. relationships are a partnership that both should be contributing in everything! been married 30 years this year and you bet he does laundry dishes and works. there are very stereotypical issues in your life and to let him keep it up is breaking you. seek help or boot him out and let him try it alone you are his partner not his maid
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list everything you do and what it would cost to hire someone to do it; trust me he could not afford you
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Kelly Moskal
Reading this, just makes me weep for this mom. 
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I would have mr. perfect do what you do by himself and see how it goes. Your spouse sounds like an ass and you are going to suffer consequences in your health if you can’t allow yourself to enjoy life. You are one person who is doing the best she can do. Yelling and name calling is not helpful unless he’s actually giving solutions and helping out. You don’t need to try to convince anyone of your worth. He needs to realize he’s a member of the household too and needs to do more than be there. I would advise you seek marriage counseling because unless you force the issue you will always be made to feel bad because your abuse and mistreatment is how he deals with stress and that isn’t ok.
What an ungrateful husband. I know some myself.
I just want to say that you’re not alone and that I totally relate to every single thing you said. I felt like I was reading my own words the whole time I read your story. I could go on and on, but if you’d ever like to talk more, please send me a message on messenger. I think it might be good for both of us. Also, you are a truly fantastic mother and your kids need you, just as much as you need them. Don’t ever forget that.
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Usually I say marriage therapy and try to work it out…
In your case, nah… You start therapy and file for divorce. Something is going on with him that isn’t about you. So, file for custody and divorce. He’s projecting and it’s not ok.
Nobody should live like that. Plus, your children are seeing it. They’re learning how relationships work. Is this what you want for them?
Yeah, in this case… Choose you.
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Simple…stop doing it all and let him pick up everything outside your 40 hour week job. Rest is his with kids, homework, sports, laundry, meals, dishes, etc
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I think you should leave. He sounds very abusive and controlling. No, you can’t do everything and never will. Him getting so angry only makes it worse for you. You aren’t with a helper, your with a hurter. Just think, your kids could grow up to be just like him 
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I really don’t think it’s you at all love… I don’t know how it would be humanly possible to do anymore than you are doing… I’ve been where you are with three children, working a full time job, and I was in the Army Reserves at the time. I was 9 years younger than my husband and had a child for 5 years prior to marrying him, so all I had ever know was taking care of myself and my child, so for a while I thought that is was normal for me to do everything while he worked and went hunting every weekend during the fall …and winter… and did whatever else he wanted to do… but I grew tired of it after several years… I told him things were going to change or I was going to leave because I made it by myself before I ever met him… and I was already doing everything anyways… so either he wanted to be a father and a husband… or he wanted to be a bachelor… but he wasn’t gonna have the best of both worlds and just treat us like trophy’s and pull us off a shelf and dust us off when he wanted to take us down and show us off to someone when it was convenient… things changed… he’s a good man… it just took some time… for him to adjust to becoming a family man and learning to give of himself after being by himself for 34 years… maybe talk to him… tell him how your feeling and let him know that what is happening is not working and it needs to change because you can’t continue to live this way… it’s not fair to you, the children… or to him… all of you need to be happy… and the children will be the ones who suffer the most if your not… best wishes!
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If he loved you, like actually loved you… he wouldn’t be treating you like garbage. You’re worth more then that! You’re already doing it all by yourself, leave… clearly you don’t need his help nor do you need someone like that in your life.
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Dump him. He’s a controller and doesn’t take into consideration your ADD nor your efforts to do the things you need to do every day. Let him take over half your jobs & see how he copes.
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Wow so I have been this woman you describe. This man is a narcissist and is gas lighting you. This is called Domestic Violence, yes it is. After 7 years of dealing with his behaviour I ran away, left my children with him for 7 months so he actively had to be a father and realise how much i actually did for all of them. I travelled 30,000km met amazing people that saw my worth. When I went back nothing had changed. I lasted 6 weeks until I took the children and ran and have never looked back. His constant harrassment, coercion tactics, stalking and threats was considered Domestic Violence and the police put a protection in place and a judge called a 5y DVO. Mind you this behaviour had caused many issues in the past where police had to be involved. If you cannot work together as parents or can see each other as humans that created theses children together and that you are both responsible for their care giving then you need help. I thought I was in love too but realised over time that he never loved me or our children. Just having us in his life got in the way of his time. So yes I stood up, found my worth and moved on from him. My children and I are in a much better place now. The only difference with my story is he never worked, did drugs and expected that I was there to do everything and work, pay the bills. My stress levels where through the roof, i come to realise I was a victim of my circumstances, I just need to change my circumstances. You have worth, know your worth, you are not just a mother or teacher or slave to this man, you are human and deserve just as much or more of your time than he does. We only have one life, dont let it slip you by.
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So since he tells you that you don’t do anything, simply don’t do nothing!! Well nothing that pertains to him that is, of course keep up taking care of the kids. But like his clothes, food, cleaning don’t do it. He will then simply realize what happens when a Mother isn’t doing “anything”
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i agree with all jour ladys advice, this man is abusive and hasnt grown up jet if he cant see what alot of work his wife does. he needs a mama and not a wife. by the way i,am 82. mine was a bit like that but not nearly as bad as this.
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My ex was like this, they do nothing but play mind games and destroy your self worth.
That way you wont leave them, they keep you down so he feels like a man, clearly he is not!!
If i were you I’d seek counseling, let someone else tell him hes a jerk
He will either change or leave.
Make a routine and just do the important stuff, make time to try to meditate or breathe work is good too. Even if its just 2 to 5 mins sitting and breathing to relax.
Theres a fb page called the positive pineapple… shows you how to deep breathe.
All the best
Honey you are enough. That man child on the other hand has alot of growing up to do. Stop letting him push you around. Stop letting him yell at you. Get help. Get out
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I had this and stopped doing it all. On his days off leave leave the kids with him and go workout or get a Mani/pedi.
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Put your foot down and start doing what you want, if he stops that from happening then you’ll see he’s 100% destroying you bit by bit. Tell him to do his share , stop doing hos laundry, stop cooking for him leave the kids on the weekends with him , write a task list. Let him know your also a boss of your life. If he can’t handle your individual human rights and needs as a mother , wife and woman then… he is garbage.
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Stop everything you’re doing and take time for you!! You are the center of your universe!! Love yourself!! Once they see things not getting done and they wanna talk shit, just say do it yourself. You are so much more than a mother and a wife, you are you!!!
Get rid of the abusive loser!
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You can’t change another person. You can only change yourself… Look at your life and decide if this is what you want for your future and then start making positive changes , he will start reacting to your changes. They may not be one you want, but it will show you how to go forward.
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You need to leave stop allowing him to bully you
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You will not be able to change anything unless you try your hardest to change from a dominant man ! If he keeps putting you down and yelling you must try and stand up for yourself and I know that Is not easy but try a little bit at a time . You are not failing at or with Anything but your spouse is meant to be your partner in life which means you are both equals on every level . He needs to spend more time on you , your marriage and your boys maybe tell him that it must be great when your so perfect or " don’t worry you’ll be the first person I will ask if I need an opinion and Not a negative opinion good luck 
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Hes not just abusing you he is also cheating on you. The card said it all
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He’s not going to change, you deserve better. No one should live with that verbal and emotional abuse. And it sounds like anything you do will never be good enough for that guy
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Oh you poor woman, you are doing too much, and no offence, you might be having hormone loss, and your husband is a big selfish child, if you could take a time out and leave him for a couple of days and then he might appreciate all your efforts xxx
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Reckon he’s projecting out of guilt?
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Stop cooking and cleaning for him, don’t make dinner, tell him he can start cooking and cleaning because you think he’s greatly lacking in the father/husband department. Show him how it feels to be treated so badly after working so hard. And when he gets home, leave off to the gym and go do stuff for you and let him take on dealing with the kids and house work
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Those who say u r not doing enough are the ones who don’t do enough, perhaps he is having anger management issues or some psychological problem seek help before leaving, try your very best to save your home bcz nobody else can be your kid’z father no matter how much he loves u. Stay blessed .AMEEN
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lol take a vacation for a week turn off ur phone and just leave tell ur mom/sister/cousin where youre going incase something happens with the kids and let him have the responsibilities on his own for a week…or just leave ur already being a single parent …why add a man child to it
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Omg… You are working so hard hunni. You are enough . You are so much more than he sees. That is his problem. Don’t try to do anymore… you are doing way enough. Stand up for yourself. If he can’t see your value, and gets abusive… kick him OUT!!! You deserve so much more respect. He should be helping a lot more, they are his kids too.
Perhaps turn it back around on him… Your a beautiful woman… Deserving of appreciation and dignity. If he isn’t giving you that you probably better off on your own. Sounds like your struggling to be super mum 2.0 when you are already supermum!!!
He sounds like a douche bag.
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I just want to hug you so tight. Momma please 
please sit down with him. Take notes before hand about everything you want to say/address. Tell him exactly what you’re thinking!! Calmly. Talk. Explain to him how you are feeling. How he makes you feel. That’s the first step. I pray things get better for you momma.
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I sounds like its he that feel insecure and needs to “control” you.
Seek counseling with or without him! Check with social services or your local church.
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Don’t leave your children! The court will rule that abandonment and award the children to your husband
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Why are you with this narsasistic self centered uncaring man!!!
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Tell him to go find another slave that can meet his standards
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If the load is too much for you to do on your own hun, shift some tasks over to him. If he says anything nasty tell him this is a partnership and he can help pull his weight in this house. Honestly you’re juggling a lot and if he wants this relationship to work then he needs to balance the playing field with it all so you can both be happy. It sounds like you’re burning the candle at both ends and you will burn out and become resentful if it keeps up at this pace. Everyone wants to feel appreciated and supported by their other half and it seems he’s not giving you that, but you deserve happiness too
Are you better off with or without him?
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He is a narcissist. I was married to one for 45 years. Look up the character of a narcicisst and you will see he fits.
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Stop doing anything !! When he runs out of laundry. Toilet paper, has to cook for himself, wash dishes etc and he says your not doing anything , agree with him and smile !!
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Praying for you I did it now I’m 72 and miss my children they are all married now and live in different states May God bless you and your family
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Quit your job. (Take six month leave) he wants a servant. Servants dont have time to work they need to focus on their master 
In your situation it is obvious your not wanting to leave just a release of irritating nagging “he’s the whiny girl”
Sadly enough you need to find someway to have alone time to satisfy the needs you satisfied before kids .
When he starts getting mad about something you didn’t have time to do ask him if he’s like you to quit working so you can focus on him and “our life” so he’s not stressed. Say it nicely. Do not be sarcastic Remember sometimes convincing someone your good enough you have to change the direction of his focus.
As for the lunch thing. Put the little one in an excersaucer “baby jail” and have the oldest help you because when he goes to university he’ll have to make his own lunch. Then he also feels like he’s accomplishing something. Your husband can’t get mad because your teaching skills he’s not doing it for you. He just supervises and gets to help with the process.
When kids want attention they can be h&*l cats.
I have 6 now you gotta work around it.
I worked full time single mom 4 girls under 12 for five years. No child support and an ex that just really didn’t make it better to say it nicely.
I always feel guilty about the house now with 2 babies and I worry he’ll think I’m lazy. However sometimes you have to think about it as if one of your kids is hungry and tired and needs a hug and feels left out
Guys are Babies. And love/ need attention
Start charging him for everything you do.
I’d try couple’s therapy IF you still love him; maybe a proffessional can tactfully point out what a vicious, toxic, selfish, lazy sod he is being and how he can improve as a Husband and as an example to your children as a Father. Would you want your children to one day treat their lady with such disrespect and instilling fear with intimidating behaviour? I’m so sorry this is undeservedly happening to you and truly hope he changes … or you remove him from your daily lives.
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take your boys and leave
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Delegate more responsibilities to HIM. Problem solved.
Make a chore charge and include him with responsibilities.
Why do so many of us try to take on being supermom? You don’t earn a trophy, and you end up overwhelmed and burnt out. Don’t do that to yourself.
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Stop doing all the things. He will quickly see just how much it is you DO accomplish every single day. If he is at home all day, I’m sure he gets up and moves around during the day… jump his ass and ask him why he couldn’t have loaded/unloaded the dishwasher or throw in a load of laundry… give it right back to him. Marriage is a partnership. He sure helped making the family, now he needs to help keep it going. Your boys deserve a healthy role model. He needs to step it up or step it out.
Honestly he sounds like a narcissist and if you’re not familiar with those kind of people I would start reading some content and realizing it’s not you nothing you do will be good enough and they will never change NEVER
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I read about one lady who was in the same situation! She went to work and came home and stayed in her bedroom every day for a month. He found out how much work she really did.
Take your kids and leave!
It really winds me up because I just want to yell at him and tell him he’s not doing enough while expecting too much all at the same time. Honestly if I ended up with someone like him I’d be in prison because I’d lose it. How can people allow themselves to be pushed around like this. You walk upto him and tell him he’s a bully because he is tell him he doesn’t respect, trust,love or nurture uou anymore. He has failed at being a husband and as a ham being because he forgot to be kind and talk through things rather than name call and lay blame on you .
Wow wtf? I’d stop doing anything for him and let it all pile up, do not cook, wash clothes or clean and show him what nothing is smh I could not be treated this way seek help now he’s toxic