So I left home for a month to visit family up north. (It was supposed to be two weeks, but two more got added because of the Roni). My husband didn’t clean anything. He pretty much just swept and did the dishes. No mopping or anything, AND WE HAVE A DOG. I’m so overwhelmed with this house. His sister told me he doesn’t really know how to clean because he wasn’t made to when he was younger. When I’m home it’s not an issue (I’m a SAHM and do all the cleaning and cooking) but omg this is stressing me outttt. I just wanna hide and pretend my house doesn’t look like this. Do I clean it or let him deal with it? I don’t know what to do and really don’t want to clean up his messes.
Teach him how to clean so he can help clean up… especially after himself.
Lol. I think your lucky he ateast did the dishes & broomed the floors.
Is this your biggest problem???
Clean your house and be grateful that you have one.
Hire somebody to clean and have him pay for it.
Just clean it up. In the amount of time you spent writing that out and waiting for answers you could have your house swept and mopped and wiped down to your liking. Light some candles throw on some gangster rap and get that shit done.
Ask him to help you clean since you weren’t there and teach him how to do it., Don’t be mean about it, but a grown man should be able to keep his own messes picked up.
Jeez lol fuck all that and make him clean. Grown ass man working or not you weren’t home and it was left up to him. Wtf is he gonna do if ever God forbid you weren’t around anymore.
This type of naggy BS is why he’ll divorce you.
You get him to help you clean.
I’d be pissed if I wasn’t home for a month and came home to a messy house. I say set aside an hour or two, put on some music and clean the house together so you can teach him.
Have him help you clean it up… simple as that leave a list next time highlighting the must do’s ect…
Maybe the dog likes to live in filth. Lol
Just clean the house Jesus you’re a stay at home mom… Him not mopping is not a big deal Idk why it’s so overwhelming for you
Have him help you clean up the house.
Show him how he can help you and try to be grateful that he did what he did.
Hire a cleaner - make him pay. Problem solved in my house
Clean it…he hasn’t had to before you left…so he is not going to do it…and if he does it will not be to your expectations…get over it…you should of trained him to do it when you married him…
You were gone for a month you make him help you clean up that mess. You are his wife, not his maid.
Divorce…best to only have you to clean up after!
Him not knowing how to clean is an excuse. If you’re married I am hoping you have been with him long enough to know he can help with house work. I’m sorry but I would be livid. I teach my own children to clean up after themselves and I damn well won’t be a servant to a grown man.
there is many more important things in life. Why complain about something so simple.
Maybe the issue is that you don’t expect him to do this on the daily so therefore he didn’t think it was necessary while you were gone. Yes he should clean up after himself, but if that isn’t your family dynamic then you can’t expect him to do it while you’re gone. Unless you left him with certain expectations. Like a chore a list while you were gone. Or ask him while you were away, “hey did you get a chance to mop the floors?” Maybe that hint would let him aware of your expectations. Or make comments like oh I hope the house isn’t a mess when I make it back.
Communicate. But no men arent going to mop n deep clean.
So let me get this straight… you’re upset that he didn’t clean to your standards while you went to see family (basically a vacation for some of us) for an entire month??? And I can only assume he funded said vacation, seeing as you dont work…Seriously???
One word: BRAT
If he lives there, he has just as much responsibility keeping shit clean. A SAHM doesnt mean she has nothing to do. Her contribution is as valuable as his. He ought to respect that.
Sounds like there is resentment. There more to the story,history.
It ain’t rocket science honey. I’d have to go upside his sloppy ass head
Have his ass pay for a maid service. He’s too old not to know how to clean.
For all of you who comment bullshit like just clean it your a stay at home mom Stay at home moms work harder than most of you assholes ANY day of the week!! We don’t get lunch breaks or “off” EVER. So you need to tell your husband he needs to grow tf up and get ta cleaning
Get someone to clean and make him pay.
Clean it and move on.
Just tell him thanks for what you did do. Could you help me do these things now though. Work together. Show him how but dont leave it all to him or he’ll hate doing it and you for making him … He learns without feeling hurt and like asshole and you get your clean house they way you like it🤷♀️
Tell him to help you to clean it
Did you ask him to keep the house super clean while you were gone? Men don’t think like we do, they don’t have that “the house needs to be cleannnnn” in them. I’m impressed he swept and did the dishes!
Aaand shit like this is why I’m single and live alone. And love it.
Be glad thats all u r mad about I mean really. Atleast he isnt out doing things to hurt ur marriage. SMH
A Home is where your heart is !! You’re Choice but don’t get mad when the answer is revealed !!!
You know what really sucks… When your husband dies. And then you literally have to do everything
Talk about it with him without judgement. Like his sister says, he doesn’t know how. Do it together. You’ll get through it. I have and it’s better now
I’m blown away at some of these responses… wow. Y’all think she’s being petty or spoiled?! How?! Why?! I’m sorry if I’m with a man, I am his girlfriend or wife not his damn mother or maid, his ass can pick up after himself. That’s him being lazy. Work or not work, house work has to be done. I work full time job, take care of three kiddos, and STILL find time to clean my house. Him working is NOT an excuse for him to not clean up after HIMSELF! She was gone A MONTH! I couldn’t imagine the mess someone would walk into after a month of not cleaning. It’s not a woman’s job to clean because she’s a woman! This is 2020! He should help! His sister saying he don’t know how to clean is ridiculous to me. He sees what his house looks like clean on the daily, he knows what needs to be done to keep it that way. I’d be upset as well if I was this lady. I’m not someone’s maid and I will not be expected to clean up after a grown ass man just because I’m his girlfriend or wife.
Make him hire I clean up crew
Teach him. If he wasn’t taught then teach him. If that don’t work make him pay for a maid service if you can. Even if it’s $20 for a family member to come and help. But you tell him it’s a different amount. He will get tired of the money disappearing
How did you like it up north
Just communicate with him what exactly you’d like him to do.
I can understand certain things bother you and are a big deal to you but that doesn’t go for everyone. Don’t expect everyone to have the same standards as you.
Even if you teach your son to mop because y’all have a dog, he might grow up and not do those certain things because they aren’t important to him.
You can write a million anonymous messages but you are still gonna end up cleaning it. I work 40-60hrs full time at home with my employer and I still manage the home like a stay at home mom. We complain but at the end of the day, you are gonna do it anyways.
Make him help you so u can teach him
My X husband didn’t do F all when I’d leave for a few days, dried food on unwashed dishes, dirt tracks form his boots all over the house. Even in our carpeted basement. Kleenex trash and empty Cola cans all over the place. Well F that Noise. I’d not even bother to deep clean that first day back. But I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it, I’d just make sandwiches and snacks he didn’t really like cause “Surprize surprize” He didn’t do the weekly shopping either.
Get a maid for a day
i mean dishes and sweeping are a lot more than i know some men to do. not saying it was right BUTTTT it could of been a lot worse
Get someone in to clean…and have him pay for it…or go out of town more often…and leave him in filth…
My husband is the same way. He even hates when I move his things to clean. I know if I don’t do it, it wont get done.
I would have him pay for maid services and go get my hair done while they are cleaning
He’d learn real quick how to clean!!
Welcome to my world. Not alot ya can do other then contain yo him about it and start a huge fight. I pick my battles!
Hire cleaning service
You see this bitches telling you to let him clean it up like it’s a big deal, would have just probably clean up before even asking. Stronger on media😂.
Call him and listen to his reason why he didn’t do the moping when you are not around for that long, what if you stayed longer. if you are not satisfied with his sis excuse. If the reason is the same. You can simply teach him, how to do the moping. Am sure he will be glad to learn.
My hubby did not know how…I had to teach him.Now he better than me.
Hire a deep cleaning. Make sure he pays the bill or sees it.
Then you both keep it up. Once a week for an hour you both clean…
Most people who go on vacation have work to catch up on when they get back…time to catch up. Cant be that bad!
Teach him how, have a heart to heart with him. Nothing to be pissed about honestly he cld be stepping out on u 🤷 atleast he did dishes and swept
Show him how, and make sure he helps or don’t go out of town.
Sadly, you gotta clean it
You can’t get anywhere without communicating. Tell him exactly what you think and formulate a plan with him to get it cleaned up.
So, why are you upset at your work. You programmed him. You said you are a SAHM. This is way you have chosen to live instead of incorporating him into the chore lineup. Why be mad? Have him help you get it back together. And go on about being happy to be home.
I know how u feel it sucks ! All
Teach ur kids to clean!
Get someone to come in and help one good time and get it caught up.
Make a list of what needs to be done. Tell him you are going to split the list between the both of you and you’ll tackle the house together. If he needs help learning how to clean the toilet, show him. Next time you leave out of town make him a daily/weekly cleaning reminder so he can check it off. Marriage is about teamwork and learning off each other.
I would call a maid tell him how much it’s going to cost him. Maybe next time you’re out of town he will figure out how to clean up messes.
If you don’t clean it , it will not get done … Sorry I have went through this . So if he’s not the cleaning type he isn’t going to start now . JS
Talk to him… it’s his mess he was there a month without you he should have been cleaning… mopping or vacuuming isn’t rocket science… AS FOR ALL YOU SALTY ASS FEMALES TELLING HER TO GET OVER IT I HOPE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU STEPS IN A COLD PUDDLE TOMORROW AND SOAK YOUR SHOES AND CANT CHANGE THEM. They both live there cleaning and cooking are for both genders and something that needs to be done no matter who brings in the cash.
Tell him to youtube a friggen video of how to mop what the hell is this what Adult does not know how to put cleaner and water into a bucket and wipe the floors with a mop dont you dare do it yourself or hire a maid.
It’s time to teach an old dog new tricks. I’ve encountered this type of man before and they gave me the same bs that he wasn’t taught well you’re gonna learn today mofo
Can’t believe how many ppl think this is ok
No absolute chance my husband would let me come home after being away for a month too a messy house and yes he works long hours and we have 9 kids… no excuses would be given because he knows no excuse is good enough…
He didn’t have to do shit when he was younger but his a grown ass man that has responsibilities now … you are not his mother, you are not his cleaner … you are his partner …
And as for comments stating “least his not cheating” or “least you have a husband” etc etc that’s a bullshit thing to say and you god damn know it
Hire a maid to come do it
Make him pay her
You do it All The Time…might have Alot to do with him Not cleaning as apossed too him,sweeping an washing Dishes…Lifes too short Darling x
Men dont clean like we do…they are guys!!
Make him help you and do it together.
How long yall been together??? Youre just finding out he cant clean
He didn’t deep clean but it sounds like he did tidy up after himself. I think y’all should choose a day and clean together.
I’m typically expected to take care of the house. I LOVE leaving for a weekend because early on I said, please remember what you come home to…I expect the same.
“Now that I’m home let’s tackle this together” and then show him how to clean to your specs.
This is your biggest problem in life?? Get over yourself.
Here is my advice. Clean it. How was your vacation? Btw my husband doesn’t do a damn thing. I was a SAHM for 5 yrs. Got a job. Still do everything. So if it was me i would clean up the mess. Btw dishes and sweeping would be a godsend if my husband did that
It seems to me from your comments ,that you have been the cleaning,if you allowed it to be your responsibility,or perhaps discouraged his help because he doesn’t do it to your expectations,then why the expectation that he would do it while your gone.
If you want his help making cleaning something you do together and explain how and why you do certain things
Make him pay for a cleaning service!
I mean he did do the dishes and sweep, those are like the two majors. I would be happy if my husband would ever do either. I would let this one go…
Simple teach him how to…what happened him caah learn again
I assume he didn’t take a month off work so was he trying to do both your job and his during this time?
That’s gross. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership. You weren’t even home, he couldn’t atleast tidy the house up a bit throughout the month?
He made an effort while you were gone. He did sweep and left no dishes built up or laying around. I could see being upset if you came home and the house was trashed but it doesn’t sound like it was.
Just count your blessings and be grateful for what has been done.
As far as the dusting and the floors… lol why is it so terrible?
It’s not like you were gone a year.
Just do a thorough cleaning one room at a time. Chances are, even if he did attempt to do it all himself it wouldn’t be the way you would do it so it’s really not that big of a deal.
Do you know how lucky you are to be able to be a stay home mother in this day and age? I know it’s not an easy job. I lived it too. But be grateful you are able to be home and be with your kids. So many women can only dream of being able to that.
He swept and did the dishes…
He’s a guy…his standard isn’t your standard…
WHAT ??? R U nuts ??? U had a month to do nothing :: he probably did the best he could ::: OMG :: It is your home too ::: clean it :: live in it ::: Be thankful to have a HOME ::: OMG ::: Put your effort into your home and just get 'er done .
Any woman on this post saying "just clean it you don’t do anything " is probably just a woman in a terrible relationship with a terrible narcissistic “man.” So DO NOT take advice from them.
Hire someone…make him pay !!!
I understand…I was in hospital a couple weeks and when I came home I told him an kids it look like a crackhead house lol…But he was working long hours as well as at the hospital with me…So I just came home an got to cleaning told him glad to see what I do was finally noticed lol
Idk as long as the trash is out and the dishes are done im ok with the rest
Girl I would be so mad! You guys are a team and he didn’t hold on to his share. It’s safe to say he is grown adult so “he doesn’t know how to clean” is invalid. He knows he likes the house the way you have it everyday so he should be able to maintain that.I’m so sorry.
Now honestly I would get a maid to deep clean it. It will relieve your stress and get done and the. You can pick up with normal daily cleaning as usual.
Was it filthy? Maybe he didn’t see the need to mop… He didn’t leave a pile of dishes, so he’s not completely clueless. Did you leave the kid(s) in his care for that month? The things that you do daily are because you’re able, if he did stay with the kid(s)… he might have done all he could manage. I know “my clean” and “my husband’s clean” are not the same. I would have been upset if I had a months worth of dirty dishes waiting for me. You just have to decide if it’s a big problem or a little problem.
Call a cleaning lady and take it out of his pocket money its not rocket science to clean up after himself its not 1955 anymore man get it together
Omg you woman are disgusting… why dont you go work his job, see what he has to put up with and come home to a whiny complaining naggy so called wife. Your support to make each others life easier not harder… I’m ashamed and disgusted by what I’m reading why would he need to pay 2 women 1. The spoiled stay at home mom that really doesn’t have to do much or 2 just wants to be lazy