My husband does not want anymore kids...advice?

Adopt a child that needs a home

Maybe he’s scared he thinks he won’t be able to share the love he as for his daughter with another baby

Should talk about this things wen dating , so everyone is on the same page :page_facing_up:

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Then, you have to deal with that or leave. Plenty of men will want to hump without a condom if you want more. Plus, it’s always a risk as long as you’re having sex.

3 words…
Only child syndrome…

Perhaps he believes your not finacally stable to have another
Child

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That is awful cos I grew up with siblings and I always had someone who i could turn to. My sister and I weren’t close but I was really close to my brother’s. I have friends who grew up as an only child and they told me that they wished they had siblings and they were always at our house and they loved it. An only child is a lonely child i think but I do understand where ur hubby is coming from with the state of the world now but im still thankfull for having my siblings and I still am now. I hope you work things out

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2 choices here. Leave him and get another baby daddy, or, stay with him and be happy with what you have. If he’s not signing up for supporting extra kids, he isn’t. Don’t play games, like putting holes in condoms or perforating the diaphragm, but if HE is insistent on not having any more kids, HE needs to go get the snip snip. YOU don’t agree, and life might change, and you should not get yourself fixed til YOU know how it’s gonna play out.

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Drunken conversation lmao. My husband was never getting married. Celebrated last week our 6 year wedding anniversary. Didn’t want kids. 4 girls later… He was done at 2. I bugged and bugged for the 3rd and got COVID slammed with the 4th one lol :joy: your daughter’s still young. If you have an age gap between her and the new one she may help… my age gap sucks. I have 4 non independent daughters currently…

Foster.
There are so many children who need adults.
I know it’s not the same, but it would get you a second.
:two_hearts:

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People keep saying “its something you should have discussed prior to marriage” thats trash information because its not true.
My husband wanted 3…I at the beginning thought at least 2 was a great idea.
Until I had #1. Than realized Im financially struggling, Im 130% mentally struggling and I really dont want a second one. So he still did and I didnt.
We had #2 (accidental to some degree. But mostly because hed never let me live it down if we didnt “try again for a boy”)
So now ive already financially and mentally struggled with kid number 1…well now its worse.
Now…2 girls later, he wants a boy still. I want NO MORE…But again, he would hold that over my head forever. So here I am…21 weeks pregnant again…with his boy. My oldest is 7. My youngest at the moment is 5. Im absolutely not excited whatsoever. I dont enjoy one bit of this pregnancy (and Its been completely fine like the other two) i just have no interest in it.
I am still financially, mentally, emotionally unwell, ive disliked him for well over 2 years now, and now its worse.
I hate life to the point, I hate me, I hate him.
Would I take my kids back? No.
Would I do it again, fk no.
Do I regret them? Not really but sort of if you get what I mean.
But I dont treat them like theyre unwanted.

Peoples minds change for many reasons after marriage, youre allowed to think more than one way after marriage. And maybe theres a reason he doesnt want more. Maybe he feels it’s unaffordable. Maybe hes mentally struggling. Maybe if your pulling a lot of the parenting workload he sees you struggling and doesnt want to say anything but notices.

Good luck on whatever way it goes.

You can dump him and have more kids with someone else. :joy:

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I would have this discussion with him and that you come from a larger family and would like your child to have a sibling, someone to share a special bond with, a forever friend, like the two of you.

I had my son at 21 he’s 10 now for awhile I was very upset thinking we would only have one also. But after years of trying we got our daughter she is 5 months old now I’m hoping for atleast one more.

This is definitely something that should have been talked about before marriage.

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Theres so many people that cant have kids.be thankful you have one.

He could change his mind… in a few years when your daughter is older and he’s missing these young years, it will hit him.
If he’s still keen on only one, I’d say 5-10 years from now, really think, If you’re forever going to be unhappy with just one, then you need to move on from him and find someone who can give you what you want.

In this world today, let it go.

This is a pivoting point for the relationship -
If you really want another that badly, but he doesn’t: the reality is it may be time to move on.

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I got my 3rd the old fashioned way…”use protection because I’m not”…and tada :tada:. He was mad for a while but got over it. That son is now 19 and we are still married. I did not trap my husband, as I was very clear that I wanted to try again for a girl. He knew that I stopped birth control and it was up to him. Neither of us would change our family dynamic.

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24 years between my oldest and youngest. I had my daughter as a teen and then a very unexpected pregnancy as my husband and I were in the process of adopting. God knew what he was doing when he gave me my youngest son. Wouldn’t change anything.

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Some people only want one and that’s okay. If it affects your marriage that much then move on. Just don’t do what another woman said and trap him :-1:t2:

My husband said the same thing too after having our oldest… Then I got pregnant with our send while on depo… He said it again that was it for him but our obgyn wouldn’t let me tie my tubes. After a few years convince him for a third. Sometimes they just don’t know what they want. He’s even the stay at home parent now full time :grin: and we both know there will be a forth in the future. Talk with him that’s key sometimes you can convince them

if you want a nother child and he doesnt for certain maybe rethink your life together does your love for another child outweigh your relationship?. Maybe have a chat with him. And come to a compromise like he may not want another one now but maybe within the next 5 years could he leave the option open for you to have another one maybe? Fair enough he dont want another but there’s 2 of you in your relationship and your wants are important too xx

A serious discussion before marriage would have been of great benefit to you!! So it’s deal with it or divorce period…now pick your priority!! Just as he can’t force you to have 6 kids you can’t force him to want more! By doing this or tricking him you will lose him!!! Tread lightly or you will be a single mom.

I wish every single day I could give my son (now five years old) a sibling. I grew up in a family of 6 kids, and it absolutely breaks my heart my baby will probably never have a sibling.

You have 15 more years. Alot can change in that time.

BTW, hubs & I decided on no children. Fate decided we’d have 2. We said each grandma prayed so hard they each got one! Don’t worry, we love them to pieces despite the surprise. :smile: Thankfully we were in a financial position to manage but sure changed our future! Travel was to visit family vs. islands, remodeled the house for more bedrooms, schedules filled with homework projects, sports, scouts, music, summer camps. Even after divorce we co-parented pretty well.

This is a discussion you should have had prior to getting serious with each other. Dont do something ignorant like going off your birth control & getting pregnant on purpose thinking you can trap him or get him to change his mind, because hes either a. going to resent the baby when you say you want to keep him/her, or b. hes going to divorce you & play favorites with the kids.
If for whatever reason he changes his mind, great. But don’t try to force him unless you want to run the risk of raising x amount of kids by yourself.

Should of talked about that before you married the man.

You will have to decide if you can live with that or if it’s a deal breaker. Then tell him you will no longer be continuing birth control as it’s not your choice and that it will be up to him here on out to protect himself from having another baby with you. If you have to respect his choice he’s got to respect your choice and either get a vasectomy or use condoms :woman_shrugging: then you need to decide if he’s worth staying with if you think you’ll always resent him. He has a choice but so do you. Can’t force anyone to have a kid but you have choices in what you do next

Now days I would not want anymore than 1 everything is getting worse .

I don’t know why anyone would wanna bring kids into this crazy world, the kids here now their future’s are doomed…

I am assuming this was talked about before you guys got married, And if that is so, & he told you he only wanted 1, but you wanted more, why did you get married to him??? Did you think you would change his mind??? I know a few people, (women), who didn’t want any kids, & this was talked about before getting married & their husbands agreed, but after being married more than 5 yrs, the husbands started talking about having kids,!!! They split up, All of them, I’m sorry, this is and was the decision & you still chose to marry him knowing this & unless he really changes his mind, which I believe he won’t, this is what it is, Be very grateful you have a healthy daughter. Sorry

Then cheat on him and go get that second kid

Why wasn’t this a topic before marriage???
I personally would never be will someone who didn’t want a big family. My husband wanted 2 I wanted 5. I had them at 25,27,28 . Not how Many I wanted but a compromise. We discussed thats what a big part of marriage is communication. Had him scheduled in August to be nurtured in Feb. Got pregnant with out 4th on October. Found out when i went to get on borth control till his surgery. He got snipped in feb she came June when I was 30 . I personally wanted to be done by 30. I now have a 4,6,7,8 ( he’ll be 9 in 12 days ). Wouldn’t change how close on age. As the first 3 we planned down to the day of conception. And out youngest truly completes our family 2b 2g.

I’m so sorry your in pain!!! I would just tell him how you truly feel. And then go from there. Sending hugs and love yout way !!!

Well unfortunately those are convos we should all have before marriage. Have you considered the cost of daycare for two ? Its about 1800/mo. Do you both work ? Groceries for 4… etc ? Maybe sit down and talk about money and if itd be even possible. Its great to have more kiddos…but these days barely possible.

Accidentally fall pregnant he will never know

I wouldn’t have married him in the first place. I had that discussion prior to getting engaged. I’m sorry that you are in such a predicament. It’s likely that you will end up divorced in the long run, as it seems to be the thing nowadays. Maybe you will have another chance in a second marriage or relationship. I know that sounds blunt, but it just is what it is. I don’t know many people who haven’t gotten divorced at least once. Yeah, you have your lucky people that are happily married forever, but there are a lot of people who are also unhappily married and are just done, but staying until the kids grow up. You already made the choice for now, but just know that it may not be permanent. I hope you have more children in your future. I had a husband that changed his mind and didn’t want any after it being discussed, and I seriously told him that I planned children in my future and that was at the top of my list, so he had to go if he didn’t want any. Maybe try to tell him of all the benefits of your child having a sibling…medical reasons, not being lonely, growing up with children, not just adults, no being spoiled, etc. I truly wish you the best!