My husband doesn't help with our youngest two: Advice?

:neutral_face: you know what hubby said the other night???
He said “ goodnight, I know you’re tired …so I’m gonna leave you alone so you can do your nighttime routine I love you good night and went straight to bed😑 
It takes me 30 minutes to do my nighttime routine and shut everything down and lock everything up… then I can go make my way to a dark room, stumbling round and find my side of the bed and finally lay down to go to sleep… WE HaVE NO KIDS aT HOME…
he actually thought I enjoyed doing my nighttime routine by myself​:confused: :exploding_head:
Sometimes they just don’t realize no matter how obvious it seems.
He has been helping with the nighttime dishes the last few nights, and it makes a big ass difference!! Even he noticed it! :face_with_hand_over_mouth::smirk: 

If nothing else works or get his attention, I’d let him know, that if you left him… your work wouldn’t really change much and you’d ask for a lovely chunk of child support. Fortunately, there are men who would help you, and they wouldn’t even be the bio dad!

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Have the 12 year old help, that child is old enough, and take your birth control regularly, DO NOT MISS A DOSE!!!

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Accept that this is now your life. And move forward at a pace you can live with. Things are not going to change. (take my word for it) As soon as you accept it and learn to be happy in this new stage of your life, the happier you can be. Get a playpen and sit the baby down so you can get things done and the baby won’t get hurt. The more time you spend thinking someone else should help out, when you know they won’t, will only frustrate you further. Find your balance and learn to be happy. <3 Being wife & mother is the hardest job I have ever done! … I am nothing like the young girl my husband first met. With her ideals and stubborness LOL Shoot! Back in the day I wouldn’t clean anything I didn’t mess up, and I certainly would never cook a meal for him! LOL (First year I didn’t!) I was strongwilled and stubborn. Stuck to my values and beliefs. But as time went on and advice from my mom (please listen to your mom or an older woman) I learned to (slowly) move into my new role in life and love it. Being a mother is by far the most rewarding thing I have ever done. Don’t fight it, or him. Just revel in the daily beauty of love and family <3

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I agree he should make time for his children but what I’m hearing is that he is working ALOT. 40-60 hours weekly? That poor man has to be exhausted! Maybe he should cut back on work and dedicate some time to the kids. We become so engulfed with their future and providing we often don’t realize that the present is lacking.

I’m in the exact same boat. He has his older two and we have two together ages 3 and 10 months. He tells me he did his time in regards to feedings, diapers, bath, bed, etc. He told me last night if I need a night out I should take the kids to my parents or my brother’s so they can watch the kids. Needless to say, we aren’t speaking and I am leaving today with my 2 Littles.

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So you want advice you either step up where he actually hears you and give him a ultimatum to help or leave. It’s that simple. I have been married for 10 years and with the same man for 16. We had 2 kids for 6 years before we married. I’m still with him. We struggle sometimes but we get it done. You have to decide what you want for you. Then what you want for your family and go get it. Hang in there.

He can’t because obviously he’s a piss poor father, and husband. That’s my opinion.

I had 5 kids and raised them all myself. We were all abused and survived. They ended up decent people but my two older boys had a bad life due to the bad effect from him!

I’m so sorry he’s doing that to you mine isn’t any better he barely helps I do it all baths dressing changing diapers make sure my daughter uses the bathroom feed them during the day husband usually makes dinner and feeds them but like everything else is on me

Sounds just like my life!!

Wow really ask for help.Tell him how you feel.It doesn’t change leave him gets worse. Women can do it.But sucks when a man doesnt help or participate at all.Like really I would of left him with little ones for a weekend.