What do you do if your husband is set on not having any more kids, but you want another? I have nine months left on my BC before I have to have it removed, and he’s been pretty adamant on not having a second. I’m still 50/50. More just timing for me. It’s a constant fight between us when the topic comes up. We don’t agree at all. What do I do?
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Don’t have another. It is already causing problems with the thought of another child if you go off your birth control then you are making the decision on your own to have another child. If you decide that then be prepared to become a single parent. Not trying to be mean but it could happen. If the roles were reversed you would not like him making a life changing decision like that for you. Put all your love into the child you have and your marriage
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Theres not much you can do, if he doesnt and you pressure and have one I feel hes going to be unhappy and maybe treat the kid differently. I dont think you can have another unless you both want one. Sorry
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Respect him . No more children .
Find a gay man who wants kids and y’all share custody 
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It should be agreed mutually… otherwise there’s no trust and you’re off to a rocky start with the new addition
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You will have to speak about it honestly, why is it that he does not want a second child and why you want a second. Thier is no way to convince him and either way it can cause a deep rift in your marriage.
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Get divorced and have it with some one else!!!
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It depends on his reason. Kids are a blessing. I’ve been told by men that if a man doesn’t want kids with you he doesn’t want to be with you. Sorry.
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It is causing a rift in the marriage already. Now you both have to figure out what exactly you can live with. In the end you can make a choice knowing that if you go ahead and have another it could ruin your marriage. If you don’t have another will it destroy your marriage in your heart???
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You have to respect his wishes. He’s being up front and honest about not having more kids. Now ask yourself is it a deal breaker for you, or something you can talk about again a few years down the road? Also just because you have “9 months left” of birthcontrol doesn’t mean you can’t get more or get another method
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If he says no then dont. You dont want to be stuck with kiddos he doesnt want and then, reevalute if that is the type of man you want to be with. Wish i would have done this because i wanted more kids when he didnt. Now that he wants more im like hell 2 da no!
If he 
does not want any more kids then he needs to get fixed. There may come a time when you may not be with him and you’ll still be able to have more
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I sure wouldn’t have a child with a man that doesn’t want one. That’s your answer !
I think you have kids already, be happy with what you have 
It needs to be mutual.
Look for another birth control I don’t see u 2 together for long and u will find another man that wants another kid with u. Good luck w the one u have now he’s not worth it.
Unfortunately this is a desicions u oth have to agree on you cantngomahead and have another.baby if your husband doesnt want another I’m afraid your out of luck sorry
Get a puppy.
Talk about it later.
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Look up about your child being an only child. I heard there is stigma
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Don’t get pregnant, don’t get your birth control out at least until or unless you can both come to a decision. And having 1 isn’t the end of the world… some people have 0.
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You’re gonna need some condoms and a pin
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I didnt want kids and my husband did. We ended up with dogs instead and then we tried for a baby(it was a long road) then he wanted another after our first and i said absolutely not. So, he left it alone. 2 years later, i felt comfortable enough to try for another. Don’t push it all, don’t keep bringing it up and don’t pressure…those things will make it worse!
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I have one daughter and have no intention to have more. I love that I don’t have to juggle more than one schedule, she’s a competitive dancer so we are traveling and at practice 70% of the time. I don’t have to make multiple kids happy, just her. I get to do everything with her because she is the only one. I can’t imagine having another child and not getting this time with her.
Just to say that having one can be great too
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Do NOT force a baby on him he has made clear he does not want. Thats so abusive and manipulative.
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Was there a conversation about children before you got married? Has having a child changed his views on potentially wanting more? Having children is something both parties need to be on the same page about. Its a huge deal in a relationship.
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We had (currently carrying our 2nd) another after debating for 2 years. My advice…don’t rush him. Have calm discussions about how he feels and why he doesn’t want anymore. Is it because of how it’ll affect your relationship? Is it the stress of extra financial pressure? 1 to 2 doesn’t seem like a big deal on the surface but in detail there’s a lot to consider. Best of luck xx
Ask him NICELY why he does not want even ONE more.
Find out his reasons WHY.
Then go from there.
If you are concerned about your one child growing up alone, point that out to him.
Barring becoming pregnant with twins or more, see if he can be open minded to just ONE MORE successful pregnancy and then that is it.
If your child wants a sibling, he might be more open.
He might also be more receptive to YOUR side IF you are nice and respectful about finding out HIS side.
He might be feeling overwhelmed with the one you two have. He might also feel that he would not be able to adequately provide for or love a second child.
There could be several relatively valid reasons why.
But be nice and be respectful.
Open a dialogue, not a war.
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I agree with Amber Averette after having both my girls my husband wanted to try for a boy and I said I was done. He hinted at another baby a few times a year but didn’t push it and 6 years later I changed my mind. I said I’m not having anymore after I turn 30 and had my son when I was 30. Felt like it was meant to be and the timing was right for all of us.
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How would you feel if the roles were reversed?
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I wanted another for along time and he didn’t, then years later we had another and he agreed!
Was this not discussed before marriage? Don’t force something that he’s not comfortable with. You have to respect that & hope he changes his mind or you’ll just have to find you another man. Listen to him & communicate, maybe you guys can compromise.
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My man said after this one he’s done. I still want at least one more. He has 1 child from a previous relationship as do I. So between the 2 of us we have 2 kids and one on the way making 3, but we both are still young so I’m going on birth control after this one and waiting a few years before bringing up the topic of one more. Because all 3 are boys I wanna try 1 more time for a little girl when timing is right. Just wait it out he may change his mind(:
Respect his wishes…You would want the same respect if the roles were reversed…
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Get another birth control. He may change his mind later on. Don’t rush it though.
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My husband was dead set against a 4th… I wanted to try for another boy (we have boy 10 girl 7 and girl 5) took him 2 years to come around but I’m now pregnant with our 2nd boy! I definitely respected his decision though… and if he wouldnt have came around, I was already more than happy with the 3 children we already have Just give him time 
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You COULD throw the whole man out… and make a baby with someone else.
Its not a good suggestion… but. How bad do you want another baby?
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You either decide to have one child and stay with him, or you decide to leave and have a child with someone else.
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Personally, I would have my birth control removed and place the responsibility on him. If he feels strongly enough about it he will take control of where his sperm ends up! This is what I did when my IUD had to come out and I was content to just let nature take its course. He made sure to not get me pregnant again until he was ready.
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I guess maybe this is an unpopular opinion/thought but is this jot something that was discussed before getting married? My husband and I did pre-Cana classes bc we married in the church but I still felt like this was a pretty common question couples discuss. We always wanted 3-4, then I had my first pregnancy and we were thinking we’d be one and done. Got a surprise second and now that I’ve had three losses we’re just waiting to see if there’s a third in store.
He might change his mind. My husband was like that. He didn’t change his mind until our son turned 4. Now we have another baby who is about to turn 1. Just give him time! Seeing our son playing by himself & knowing that he will be alone when we die is really what got my husband thinking & changed his mind.
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Some of these comments… Wow… Who raised yall!? 
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If you want another one to let a man stand in your way . But it has to be enough for you or not. If he doesn’t think he can handle it then believe him . But it’s your choice and your future baby . So many in time you will have to find someone else
Tell him your going off bc and if he really doesn’t want another kid he can get a vasectomy.
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Great advice and comments.
Respect what he wants. You’d want him to respect yours.
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Take it out early and say the birth control went bad bc it was old n u got pregnant… lol don’t judge me. I didn’t do that
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Then you need to stay on birth control. While you want another one it’s not worth your marriage ending over. In nine months it could change though so I would definitely sit down closer to and bring up the topic again. Calmly ask his worries etc.
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How many do you have
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Should have had this discussion prior to marriage/babies. It’s wouldn’t be fair for you to have another when he is dead set against it. Hopefully in time he will change his mind.
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My husband wasn’t sure he wanted another, but I was. I had my IUD removed and told him, after me seeing to all our birth control needs for 15 years, it was his turn. If he didn’t want another baby, he needed to wrap it up or go get snipped. Our 3rd baby will be 20 later this month. 
The roles are reversed for me. He wants another I dont. I feel mentally and time wise and financially 2 is my limit. We have a 5year old and a nearly one year old. Adding another baby to the mix for me would be so hard. I would be extremely resentful. I am however open to further discussion later down the road… for now it’s not something I feel is right. Shame on the people saying just get pregnant.
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For my hubby it was about when he was ready. However, I was in the same position as you until I talked to him and asked him out of curiosity why no. I approached him with “I know you are set on no, but I’m curious why.” Hope this helps!
My husband didn’t want any more kids either, mainly because we have 4 boys between us (i have 3 from my previous marriage and he has 1 from his previous marriage). I knew he didn’t want more, he knew i wanted 1 more with him. It took 4 years, and a lot of contemplating and conversations regarding each others feelings, but we both finally came to the same conclusion- I’m now 33 weeks with our first girl and very last baby. Sometimes people change their minds, my husband knew how badly i wanted it and it made him want it too.
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MY OPINION:
What makes his wants any less than yours? What if he wanted another child but you didn’t?
AGAIN MY OPINION:
And the comment, joke or not, on here about condoms and a pin, is absolutely ridiculous.(there’s women stupid enough to do this) Tricking or forcing him into it will just make your arguments worse and your marriage probably won’t last. 🤷
OH DID I MENTION THIS IS JUST MY OPINION
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Shannon Smith the amount of comments saying to just take the birth control out early and not tell him… Holy shit
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Respect his decision 
pick another birth control and stay on it. Wait a few years he may change his mind, in the mean time just spoil your child and enjoy your quality time with your spouse it becomes a lot shorter when you add another child lol
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The women on here telling her to do it behind his back… I just can’t. Please don’t take that advice that is the worst advice, to deceive him into having another kid. Don’t think I have ever heard of that working out for someone where someone was happy their partner lied to them to have a child. The best advise I have seen is talking to him and tell him when the birth control comes out if he doesn’t want anymore then it’s his responsibility for birth control. Since he is the one that doesn’t want anymore then he shouldn’t have a problem with using a condom or getting snipped. But for the love of god don’t lie to him for a child.
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It takes two yeses but only one no. Respect his rights.
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Dont ever force someone to have a kid if they dont want too, he will resent u forever and you may as well sign your marriage away, that’s soo rude of you to force the issue…get a dog
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Tell him you’ll find someone who does want a child then. Don’t trap him into another, that’s unfair, but it’s also unfair to you that you want another and he doesn’t.
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You talk about it with your husband. Go to a counselor if needed. This is something you both have to be ready for.
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Its deffinetly between you and your husband. You got married and need to stick together through these things. Talk it out 
I wish you luck
Maybe he has a reason. Maybe he thinks you can’t afford another child. Ask him what his reason is for now wanting one.
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Its a decision to talk about. If the roles were reversed yall would be telling her “dont do anything you don’t wanna do! Dont let him force you!” But yet here are some of yall telling her to be sneaky and just do it anyway. Its disgusting.
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You owe him enough respect to not lie about birth control. Some of these women are awful!!! The only option you have is to communicate your needs and wants and figure out if this is a deal breaker or not.
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Shew the lying and manipulative “advice” when it comes to this question… if he wanted a kid and a woman didn’t and people were telling him to trick her into getting pregnant, it would be abuse and control. And it’s the exact same thing when the genders are reversed. Nobody should ever be forced into having a kid because one of the partners was a lying manipulative psychopath.
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Not everybody likes kids plenty of people hate children and there’s nothing wrong with that it’s no different than not liking a certain vegetable or not liking a certain color so why do people have to ask so damn surprised when someone doesn’t go goo goo over them and want them
Everyone saying divorce or find someone who does or anything toxic is disgusting.
Do not force him to have another with you when its clearly not what he wants.
You need to sit & talk to him, maybe see his reasonings, there has to be some reason amd maybe if you bith can work out that reason he could feel more confident in having another.
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Definitely don’t lie to him because you want another child. Like many others have said, it takes two people being on the same page. I only have one child and will never have another one. Maybe y’all need to sit down and express the way you both feel. Also, pray. If God sees fit, it will happen when the time is right. But to have your BC taken out and not tell him is absolutely wrong. Be thankful that you have one child for now. There’s plenty of couples praying desperately for a child(ren). Maybe he doesn’t feel like y’all are financially ready for another child. Maybe he wants to enjoy his wife and child for the time being. Don’t argue with the man about having more kids. Respect his wishes. You’d want him to respect yours if he did want another and you didn’t. Ultimately at the end of the day, is it really worth losing the love of your life over?
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In my relationship its the opposite except my husband is understanding. Having a child or multiple children is a lot to take on. I love both of my kids and more than happy to have them but the thought of a third stresses me out. Hear him out.
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Honestly at that point I’d tell him, he’s the one who doesn’t want another child so it’s up to him to handle the birth control. You shouldn’t have to put her body under stress or risk for anything other than your own decisions.
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Switch to a different birth control for now. That way if he changes his mind then you have options, or put the birth control solely on him. Weather its condoms, or he gets fixed. But be advised that if he chooses to get fixed, it can be very costly to have that undone.
He might change his mind, he might not, same goes for you. I think you give it some time, talk about it instead of fighting about it. If it gets to be 6 months or a year from now and nothing has changed, that’s when you can decide. Do you want to stay in the marriage knowing you’ll only have the one kid? Or will you find someone else? Please don’t get pregnant behind his back. That is so vile.
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Nope. If BOTH are not completely on board, you don’t do it. My husband doesn’t want one, I do. My husband has offered to cave even, to make me happy and I couldn’t do that to him. In the end, his happiness is just as important as mine. Does it hurt not to have more? Sure. But my unhappiness over not having more won’t potentially lead to a child being unwanted or resented.
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if it would cost you your happiness not having anymore kids, then leave bc you don’t wanna regret it. you have to weigh out the pros and cons and decide which would be more worth it to you as an individual. would you be content with the family you currently have for the rest of your life or do you think you wouldn’t be content without another child? my mother in law left her first husband bc she wanted more kids but he only wanted the one they had. they both came to a mutual agreement that they should go their separate ways. she told me that he was the best husband, even better than whom she married after him. having more kids was too important to her though.
Question is why dont he want more kids
Tell him that after the nine months you have left in the BC you won’t be getting anymore. If he wants to have a vasectomy cool if not he could use protection.
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What are his objections to a second child? Money? Responsibilities? No free time? WHY does he not want another child? Ask him and then you can address the reasons by finding a job/better paying job/second job for yourself, finding free or paid help (and you pay for at least half), arranging for people to watch the kids while you have adult vacations or consistent time alone together, or whatever. What are you willing to do/give up to have another child? Will you both be able to cope if the child is born with mild or severe disabilities?
How old are you both? How old is your child? Are there things you are saving up for? (House, car, appliances, education, vacation, etc.) What major expenses do you see in your near future?
Have you ever lived completely on your own? Could you support two children on your own? Do you want your kids to go to college? If so, how will the family afford it for two children?
Babies are so cute! But will you feel the same about two teenagers with two opposing sports practice schedules? What happens if your husband loses his job for an extended period? Maybe get a dog first and see how that goes. Nothing wrong with being an only child, but address the concerns, not just the wants about having another.
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It takes two yes for a child if one yes and the other no. It’s a no. Ecspecially if you aren’t the main fanicial provider.
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2 is a lot harder than 1.
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Don’t do it. My friend removed her BC and got pregnant. Well, it’s been a sad situation. The whole thing. Husband cheats on her. She stays because she can’t financially go anywhere else even they divorce. She needs his help physically because the pregnancy didn’t go so well. She ended up with so many issues. I feel bad for her. Especially during these times. It’s not looking any better.
I thought I wanted more but I don’t and neither does my man. Would I love to get off bc, absolutely but I’m not gonna make him get a vasectomy because we could both change our minds later. What reasons does he give you? If it’s money related and he’s the only one with a job right now, I wouldn’t ask about it anymore until you guys are in a better position or you both have jobs. Children are amazing but they are also expensive. Another reason for my man was that he was scared for me while I was giving birth. I had a c section and started bleeding very badly during the surgery. It took them an hour to get things under control. Whatever his reasons are you should respect them for the time being. He may change his mind later.
My husband was like this for the first 3 years of our son’s life, but changed his mind later on cause he knew how badly I wanted a second. We just had our baby girl and he wouldn’t change it for the world. Hang in there mama, your husband may come around❤
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It takes two parents to raise a child. Maybe he is concerned about the situation and needs to explain it to you. Talk to him, dont argue. Really think about his answers before you make a decision that can break up the family
Have you talked to him about why he’s against another child? Did you have complications? Are you in financial trouble? Does any illness run in the family? Does he feel like he’s a bad daddy?
If any of this is the case, be understanding and work through it with him. Once his concerns are resolved then he might want a house full.
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Let it go or leave and find someone else who wants a kid. If you really didn’t want anymore kids how would you feel if your husband kept bringing up the topic and getting into a fight over it. Maybe when its time for your birth control to come out bring it up again but constantly trying to convince him isn’t the way.
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We have one and are done. Although, we are pregnant with baby #2, we are carrying her for a family that can’t have their own children!
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Well if u can afford it and keep up with everything by u self there shouldn’t be a problem. But u do have to respect u husband wishes. As well and in the end u guys will have more time for eachother.
Tell him of he doesn’t want more he should get a vasectomy. If he agrees you know there’s no swaying him.
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My husband didn’t want more kids at the time we had 3 he had adopted my 2 and I had adopted his from a previous relationship. 3 years of Birth Control and he kept saying nope no more this caused lots of arguments. When my Birth control expired I had it removed and 2 months later was pregnant. He knew it was no longer in my arm. He wasn’t happy when he found out I was pregnant for a few mins but by then end of the day he was over it about 2 or 3 days later I started bleeding we thought we lost the baby but found out we was pregnant with twins and i was losing 1. Today our daughter is 31/2 and her daddy is completely wrapped and she is the most spoiled child! We took in my 2 nieces about a year after she was born so we now have 6 children and we love them!
Never once has our marriage had any problems because I wanted another and he didn’t.
Also with him knowing my birth control was out never once did he attempt to prevent me from getting pregnant which he could have done! As can your husband if he really does not want more!
I tell you what…i would not have kids the way things are in this world. My husband and I have 4 kids total. Ranging from ages of 24yrs old to 7…let me just tell you…having kids is beautiful but shouldn’t be imposed on. Kinda takes the whole point of having kids…to love and nurture fun out of it. Id be more interested in knowing his reasons. Having multiple kids is not for everyone. And until you become a parent you can’t say for certain you’d have another. I get that some people may know they were meant to have a big family but, in your case i would slow my roll. 🤷
If you have kids just be thankful for the ones you have now it’s time for you and your husband
So that’s more of a struggle between you and your husband rather then then the struggle in your mind. If it wasn’t for him you’d be having more children.
I have 3 children at the moment and I’m in my early 40s now. When I had just my first son I although wanted to have another child but the thought of sharing his love with another child his space his attention from me was killing me but on the other hand I wanted him to have a partner a friend someone to share life long memories with him. I constantly kept thinking of the long future when his parents would be too old or even gone who will he have to share his pain with or his joyful memories or most importantly continue calling his family. So i had my second son and even after I had my son I kept feeling guilty for my eldest but soon they started growing together and my love grow larger and I started loving more enough to love them both then I had my third son and my eldest two became best of friends when there was trouble home they always had someone to talk to other then their parents or share ideas or even complain about their parents to. Now in the time of Pandemic my children although miss not getting to go to school or talk to other friends but they still have so much fun with each other that being locked up at home doesn’t seem like such a painful time for them.
You have to find out the real reason why he doesnt want anymore kids, something is fishy
Dang you girls are viscous… telling her to respect her husband and not force this on him and that she’s manipulative??? Wow what about her wishes and what she wants? She’s asking for advice and seems truly upset in the fact that get life partner doesn’t agree on something she’s wanting. So what if the roles were reversed? I bet some of you would tell her “it’s just another kid, why push your desire not to have another on him and just give it to him. It’s just one more” 
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There is a reason your heart is telling you your not done having kids. Y’all really need to discuss not fight on why he doesn’t. I fear you will always resent him if you both don’t agree not to have more children. Having 2 kids is not asking for a lot. I mean you ain’t shooting for 10. Just really discuss it. Babies are blessings but they are permanent. #momof4
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We thought we would only have one or atleast i did. We currently have 5 lol. So it can happen. Just take your time, don’t push it, but maybe come back to the subject at a later date.
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If it were me, I’d drop it for a while. Give it a couple years and see what’s going on in life. Having a second child is a big responsibility, financially and otherwise.
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Tough one depends on why he doesn’t want more kids.My ex only wanted one.It was for financial reasons. Know I am glad I only have one to support on my own.
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As an only child, I would try to convince him to have one more so your child has a sibling. Important reasons to have a sibling - to confide in, fight with, love, do things with, someone to have that family bond. Find out why he doesn’t want another. If he’s just comfortable with having one child, then he’s selfish. There’s nothing like seeing your children grow up together knowing they have one another as they get older.
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