I honestly think it depends on your situation and your relationship with your mom ( both you & your husband). Also, why does he not want your mom to move in? What is his reason? This is not so cut and dry.
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I am not sure I can give an objective opinion. I took my mom in when I was pregnant 26 years ago. She’s still here and so are we.
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My mom would move in with me. No questions asked. If it were the other way around, my mother n law would move in with me. We are here to care for our parents like they cared for us.
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I never gave my man an option. My mom needed emergency brain surgery and I told him she was recovering at our home and that was final! If he didn’t like it he could leave. But he was there the whole time. They fought like teenagers but they love each other! Tell your husband to get over it!
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It’s his home too though. It’s where he comes home every day to just “be”. It’s really hard to relax with others living in your home. I enjoy my privacy and not walking on egg shells. I also enjoy sex, not the kind you have when your moms at the end of the hall. It’s perfectly understandable. You should honor his wishes or compromise. How about building a mother-in-law with separate entrance. It can be just a small but efficient studio or cabin. Or offer to help to get the mom an in home assistant, someone to assist with her care if needed or just to run errands. There are many options folks. It’s not just kick my husband or mother to the street.
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You need to sit down and discuss options with your husband and come up with something you both would be happy with. I get him not wanting your mother living with them, but with you being an only child he needs to be open to you taking care of her. Maybe you could find a home with a mother in law apartment so that she can be right there, but not living with you. You can have a nurse come in a few days a week so you can be sure to give your family plenty of attention.
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What are his reasons for not wanting her to? If they’re valid, he is your spouse. He became number ONE the day you said I do. If he doesn’t have valid concerns, then it would warrant a deeper discussion.
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Look I don’t want to live with my mom or my mother in law but if any of them ever needed a place to live or just some extra looking after I’d be fixing up a guest room so fast. Family is family
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My husband and immediate family that I created are my top priority. So; my husband’s opinion would 100% be respected. I would figure out the WHY behind his “no” and maybe there is something that can be done from there. Is it space? Get a bigger place. Privacy? Something can likely be figured out, boundaries set prior to move in. Rocky relationship with her? That’s harder to handle. Finances? Discuss it and make a plan.
If he’s still against it, try to find a way where you can still be there, but maybe not under the same roof.
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I’d be a single mom if that was the case. My mom is my best friend, and the plan for her is to live with us. He can gladly see himself out.
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First let me just say I’m sorry about your mother’s declining health 
Second your husband should understand that she is your mother let’s flip the situation if his mother was unwell and needed a place to stay with him taking care of her would it be a big deal as it is for you? When my mother needed surgery to remove a 10lb ovarian tumor I didn’t even ask my husband if my mother could stay with us while she recovered from being cut from diaphragm to pelvis he knew that she is my mother and nothing not even him would stop me from taking care of her his home or not without her there would be no me and there for we wouldn’t have the life we do together. FAMILY IS EVERYTHING IN LAWS OR NOT!
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I love my mother dearly, however my spouse is my top priority. If he wasn’t settled with her moving in, we would find a way to make something work for the both of us. Perhaps building her a small apartment off of your home, or on your property would suffice instead of having her across the hall.
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Why doesn’t he want her to move in? When we bought our house, it was in our minds that my mom would move in when when she needed it. Circumstances have made it that I’m now the care giver for my father. No way would we let him move in with us. EVER! Its also been discussed that no one other than my mother would ever be allowed to move in including his parents. He’s your husband, talk to him and find out why? Everyone saying its not his choice is wrong. Its his home too. He should have a say in it. If you feel that strongly about her moving and and he’s against it you need to reevaluate your marriage.
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Move out into a house with her
I put my mom first because I know what sacrifices she did
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I think it depends.isyour mom controlling or does things to cause problems or treats you mean.if so he may be right. If not ask him why he doesn’t want her.
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We moved my mom in no problem and it was a blessing to be able to do it❤️
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I’m on his side. My mother in law moved in with us before we were married and it almost destroyed our relationship. It’s not a good idea.
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I never got the privilege to make that decision…but my mom would be with me…When the day comes you can no longer talk to her or see her you will be so happy for that time!!
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Amazing how fast some of you all would get rid of your husbands, the men you claim to love because he doesn’t want your mother moving in. There’s a reason behind WHY he doesn’t want her to move in. This story isn’t one sided. Why doesn’t he want her to move in?..
You and he bought, are buying, renting, owning that house together. Its something you talk about and decide together. If you still chose your mom over him, and he’s given you a reason, well then… he’s better off in my opinion. 
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My mom would have always, have been welcome in our house. My husband wouldn’t think twice about it . Neither would any of her other family., there were 13 of us and we would all be here for her if we could
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Your home is for you, your husband and the family you created. My mother is sick now with stage 4 cancer. I visit her daily and help take care of her along with my other 3 siblings and my father. Just my opinion.
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If I was in this situation I’m afraid no matter what if my mother needed me due to what ever reason I’d choose her. If he threatens to leave so be it bye bye … thay just what I’d do…
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Where is his mom? If the roles were reversed you can bet his mom would be moving in. Absolutely mom comes to stay, you have one mom. Will it be easy, nope…will there be some bumps along the way, sure…but it’s your mom!! If your husband isn’t happy or in agreement to this then please tell me why are you still married!?!
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Is very hard because my husband and my parents are both very important to me so I would sit down and find a compromise to have my parent move in … sorry I only have one parent left and I would totally want him in my home !
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My mother in law was never to nice to me and would get things started with husband and I and get in the middle of our business it goes on and on. I am not a mean person and would have loved to had a mother daughter type relationship with her. I feel I was not accepted along with my oldest two children treated differently. We have an autistic son also, so when my husband mentioned this it was a big no. We have alot of problems already and he wants to bring more. She is well taken care of now and seems to be more friendly with me. But sometimes it just will not work depending on your situation. Of course I do not know yours.
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What you should do is consider both yours and your husband’s feelings on this.
This is something that should have been discussed before you got married as it’s always a possibility.
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Its both of your guy’s house. It’s definitely not just one person decision,if he is really this uncomfortable you should have a talk about it. Find a solution. Communication is key!
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Anyone can say what they want to but it’s your mother and she needs you now. I know from experience if something happens to her you will never forgive yourself for not taking her in. Do it while you can, spend that time with her while u can bc it wont last forever!!! My sister took my mother out from under me and went behind my back and got guardianship of her and then threw he in a nursing home and she passed within months. Her so called husband then said she could not have her move in with them. She now blames herself for it now,in which god knows what happened. That is your mother she took care of you when you needed it, take care of her hun. Praying for the best for your family 
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My dad is 63 and just had to move in with us. I have to take care of his diabetes and appointments for him. I will say you need a strong support system. It is a lot to take on. So if he isnt in board and she has no where to else to go. Well then loose the husband. Byeeeee you only get one parent.
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Doesn’t seem like enough info to make a call. There’s got to be reasons why he’s against it and without at the very least that I have no advice 
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Remind him thats it’s your duty to care for your parents when they’re elderly. Especially your mother. If he loves you, and fears God, he’d accept it.
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I would talk to him about a trial run. Your spouse is suppose to come first and having an unhealthy parent live with you will affect your marriage. I’ve done it and it was very stressful. Let her know if it doesn’t work out you will need to explore other options s
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I’d have to ask does your mom want to move in? My mom would never want to give up her own place. I live close enough to check on her and stay the night if there was a need, and so does my brother. It’s not that she couldn’t live with us but I’d respect her wishes to live alone.
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I would move with my mom I’m married and if I had to choose which u shouldnt have to mom is number 1 sorry hubby important by u only have 1 mom mine passed 2 yrs ago and I would have choose her
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Yall should definitely talk about it. Find out why he doesn’t want her to move in. Yes, people you know have 1 mom. However, nobody should come in between your marriage parent included.
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I had my Mother up until I was 8 then she pass away , if she was still here she would be with me no questions ask. Thank God I have a husband who allowed me to raise my younger brothers , and I took care of my Mother in law till she passed. And I miss her so .
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If you haven’t been in this situation you will never understand. It’s very difficult. Sad. So parents need 24/7 care. I 53 with arthritis and there no way I could help an in law.
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Does he have a rocky relationship with your mother? It is difficult to have an in-law move in. You both need to talk about why you each made your decision. Be open and honest and don’t hold grudges against each other as it comes out. You may be the only daughter but are there brothers? Can they all contribute to an apartment close to you?
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You know what you can find another husband but a MOTHER you can never find another one to replace her. You meet ur husband when your already adult how about the years past by when your still young who’s with you? Who’s taking care of you all the way, your mother right. Then here’s a guy telling you like that! He doesn’t love you at all. Because if your husband really loves you he will always think about your happiness…and your happiness is your mom
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Obviously u have to choose your mother! Why to leave her behind! She needs you! If not you will regret whole life!
You should take yourself back then, how your mother brought u in this world and raised you to become a woman now. This is the time to show your love and support to your only mother! Good luck! as per your husband, he too might have his own mother! If same thing does to him, will he accept? I think he need to understand and support you as well! #needmutualdiscussion
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Move her in and move him out…
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You need to sit down and really talk about this with your husband. You need to really listen to him as too why he doesn’t want your mom to move in. Does your mom have health issues? just asking to figure out why he wouldn’t take your mom in. Me and my husband had this discussion many times. We both decided we would have no issues having any of our parents move in. Especially with how much both our parents have helped us through our life.
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Is her health at imminent risk if she does not move in?
Is his mental health at risk if she does?
Is yours?
Is there a history off which he is basing his decision?
Do you have other priorities he’s concerned will suffer, such as children or finances to support the family you created with him?
I believe in being compassionate & understanding of others. That includes both your husband & your mom. There’s a balance to be found.
Someone is going to “lose” a little here. You have to ask yourself the tough questions & choose the healthiest option for everyone whom you are responsible. That comes first, legally, & in my own personal life, morally.
I wish you ALL the best. 
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Dealing with same issue but with my grandmother who is 68 she has many health issues and recently lost her apartment due to shitty family members. She is staying temp with other family nearby but they are very crowded and I know she is uncomfortable there. I brought her over for the weekend and my husband was polite but very upfront with me he will not allow any relatives to live with us. However he offered his 92 yr old grandmother to live with us recently. I tried not to act upset but I do understand my grandmother comes with baggage and usually other family members who are not good people. Anyone feel free to comment advice. Im just venting with u girl!
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Blood is blood. Your mother should be priority over all. She brought you into this world so unless he has some valid reason to not want her there, then there has to be a way to make that happen? Granny pod, MIL suite…addition… something. If something would happen to her you’d never forgive yourself or him. My mom moved in with me and lived with us for almost 10v years before she passed away. Our children have great memories of those days spent with her.
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Put a tiny home on the property. NOT THE SAME HOUSE. No disrespect, but it puts a strain on your marriage.
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Can you afford home health until she absolutely must move in? Split your time between home and her place, have an agency cover when you’re not there. Explore alternatives before jumping gun to one extreme or the other.
I was the only child too and made sure my husb knew my parents and I were a package deal😉 They’ve both passed now but I’m so grateful I was able to care for them in my home until the end.
Best of luck❤️
While I love my mom I would never have her live with me. My fiance wouldn’t say no but I would! My fiance would bring to my attention how awful my mom is to me and bring me back to earth because knowing me I would feel like I HAVE to and I don’t have it in me and my mental health and my kids would all take a huge hit having to live with her ever again! You didn’t choose your mom but you hand picked your spouse so I think it’s selfish to throw them out or leave the relationship over someone you didn’t choose!
Also after working in the healthcare field it is never a good idea to take on the sole responsibility for an ailing family member!
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As someone who works with elderly in a high dependency hospital home I cannot stress enough DO NOT BE SOLE CARER … if she comes home then yes most def help but get the aide she is entitled to enjoy your time and relationship …
I would hate to live with my mother in law. I wouldn’t ask that of my husband. He needs to feel comfortable in his own home,too. Every situation is different, though. It might work for some, but not for everyone.
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What are his reasons? Did they not get along? You need to consider his feelings too. Is there anyway way you could stay part time with your mom or move her closer to you? There’s got to be a reason why he doesn’t want her there. If you have siblings can you take turns caring for her? I know I would have a hard time having my MIL live with us…not all in-laws get along or treat their kids spouses with respect…
While husband’s should come first, if your mom is sick you need to take care of her. Just like if its his parents that need to be taken care of its his responsibility. In laws can drive us crazy but the produced the person we love so they can’t be 100% bad. It will take some getting used to but it can be done and the peace can be kept. We’ve already agreed that if my mom needs a place to live she can stay with us, if his dad, mom or stepmom need a place to stay they can stay with us. My dad wasn’t in that great of health the last time we saw him and my husband was by his side taking care of him because that was my dad. I was recovering from a c-section and I could barely care for myself and my baby so he stepped up and helped my dad with anything he needed. My dad drove him nuts at times but he told me that is your dad, he is very important to you so that means that he is important to me because you are my entire world
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Did you have a conversation and ask him why?? Listen. Then ask him to give you other options and see what he says. Approach him like his feelings are important to you and consider what he says. Then go from there
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Your mum is your mum. Take her in no question about it. She carried you for 9months, gave birth to you, bathed you and fed you to the best. She taught you, she cleaned up after you and now you should pay that back a little at this time that she needs you. I wish my mum was here that I could look after. Ps tell him to grow up, wise up, have a heart or pack your bags
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When you get married you make sacrifices for each other. My father in law lives with us. Do I like it? Hell no. Do I know he has no where else to go? Absolutely. Do I know he’s not in good health? Absolutely. I love my husband. Therefore I respect the fact that his father needs to lives with us.
Set guidelines or boundaries with your mother, mainly for your husband’s sanity. It will help. And move her in!
The question is why? What are his reservations to it? Does your mom and him have issues have they had conflict throughout? Do they get along what’s your posing is very vague you need to understand that he’s your partner and your life mate yes your mom is important too but if those two can’t get along why would he invite trouble into his own home.you need to sit down and find out the reasons for his reservations of wanting her to move in and then have respect for that.if it’s something simple or something that she can change or work on then maybe you guys could get it together
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I think you have to respect his opinion, I feel sorry for the husbands of the “I’d move her in anyway” brigade tbh. Maybe ask why he is against it and try to comprimise but at the end of the say it is his home too so
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I had my mom and dad move in with me and my children they stayed for 2 years until I had enough and I had to ask them to leave. It was the worst 2 years of mine and my children’s lives.
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This would have never been a question a generation or so ago. And I can tell you right now he’s not wiping her ass the same way he wouldn’t wipe his own mother’s ass after he moved HER in. If he doesn’t want her there he needs to help make other arrangements. The only way this would be acceptable is if she was an awful toxic parent. That’s family. You don’t leave sick elderly family on the street like stray animals. We all know our parents are going to get older and die.
My mom would move in so i could help, no questions asked. We’d discuss the costs between her living with us and be cared for the right way, or go to a nursing home or the likes and possibly get treated poorly.
My fiance and my mom can not stand each other, but I didnt ask when we needed to quarantine together. She is my mom and if he can’t respect my relationship with her he is the one to go not her.
I see both sides… becoming a 24 hour caregiver to an adult is hard, we had my husbands aunt for a year and everything in our marriage suffered because one of us always had to be home , she had to be checked on and sometimes cleaned up in the middle of the night, there’s just a lot to caring for someone I’m a nurse and I care for people all day and then came home and it never stopped I was physically and mentally exhausted and all the family that wouldn’t help all had an opinion on what we should and shouldn’t be doing … it’s not easy
Only take care of your mom if you want to - not because she can’t take care of herself but because you are a good human being… how she treated you shouldn’t have anything to do with it. You can be a better person. Open your heart and you’ll know what you need to do. Good luck! 
My husband already stated that both of our moms would live with us if it came to it as they got older. I get we are adults and have our own families. The way we see it is your mom took care if you until you moved out. Now time to you to do the same. Ask him why he doesn’t.
I feel really sorry for some of y’all’s spouse’s. When you marry you become one. You shouldn’t just disregard your spouse’s feelings. A compromise is in order.
Is there a reason why he is against her moving in
Do they get on ?
Have they had any problem in the past ?
Is the house big enough for your ma to still have her own space as well as you having yours ?
There is a lot to be considered in fairness
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I look at it this way as a mom, if my child’s family was in need or ailing, my home would have an open door regardless of how much it put me out, as a daughter I would spend my last waking min taking care of one of my parents, where’s there’s a will, there’s a way and I would be finding it.
If your elderly mother is not allowed then he’d have to go.
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It was the worst thing I ever did! My mom wasn’t ill though just lazy ( she don’t work or drive) after my dad passed away she ran herself out of money and still refused to work and told me I was to work and support her. She made my business her brothers and sisters. I almost moved out of my own house. In the summer we actually parked our camper permanently and only came home to do laundry and to get her groceries. A year of it I told her she had to find somewhere else to go. My husband and I fought all the time about it. My husband didn’t want her to move in and within a short time I found out why he said no! It all depends on the parent.
Wow thats really hard. I’m glad my husband would never make me make that choice. My mom was a little on the crazy side and she and him could butt heads like crazy but he would’ve never put me in that situation. Especially with bad health, he wouldn’t want me to eventually regret doing what I needed to do to help take care of her or spend as much time as possible with her.
Let the mother move in so you can take care of her . If it was his mom I’m sure he would let her move in the home . If the mother isn’t doing to well and the only one to care for her is her grown child .
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There would be no questions asked. I would take my mama in and care for her. That is what we are suppose to do for our parents
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We cared for my mom until it got to where we couldn’t. We had to put her in a care home. It was the right and only thing to do.
Had I not, cared for her I would have had to live with a terrible guilt and I refused to invite that in.
It’s your obligation as a child to a mother/father who did her best to give you what she/he could. You are obligated to return the favor, unless of course the parent was a total creep and pos, then you owe them nothing, but you still need to treat them with kindness.
It’s a moral issue.
Unconditional love! Yes, with no regrets. It may be hard at times. But, when shes gone you’ll regret not having the time
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I remember when my mom was going on hospice care my husband said have her move in with us, I didn’t have to ask, but I had a sibling living at home with her and we took care of her.
You husband needs to realise if it wasnt for you mother he would never have met you she made you just like his mother made him!. Shouldn’t even say he doesnt want you mother to move in she is you mother and I’m sure you would do same for his mother, our parents brough us into this world, cared for us ,least we can do is do same for them.if then need us .
I have lived with my Mom and my sister has lived with our mom. It can really put a lot of strain on a marriage. Especially since your husband has said no. I would advise maybe if you can move her close to you but not actually in your house it might be better. Even if you put a granny pod in your back yard. You and your husband still have your privacy but she is close. My sister have both had “custody” of our Mom, and both of us are divorced. Just a thought
Listen taking care of a parent that is in bad health puts a strain on you I know I took care of both my mother and father in law at the same time my mother was also ill now i loved them all we were fortunate enough to move nextdoor to my inlaws but i don’t think I could have lived in the same house as them and I also couldn’t live In the same house as my mom it was hard enough having her stay the weekend on the rare occasion she would stay now they are all 3 gone its a hard decision you have to make sure your willing to risk your marriage in order to have your mother move in I was always taught to take care of your parents when they get older but there are always exceptions to every rule its hard taking care of someone In there end days extremely so
I loved my mother-in-law. I regret that we never got the opportunity to have her live with us.
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What is the relationship like? Why doesn’t he want her to move in? I will say this… there is no way that my bfs mom could ever live in my house. Luckily, we are on the same page about that. 
his grandma on the other hand could stay with us anytime if she absolutely had to. if they have a decent relationship, is there a way that she can live in her own portion of your home, nearby on the same land, etc. I can understand it being hard to have someone else in the home. Home is where you can truly be you.
I can speak from the mother side. For the last 15 years I have lived with my children. I help as much as I can. They both work. I fill in for them with the children keep the dishes done and the wash as well as other house chores. I dearly love being with them. I enjoy seeing them have more time to be together. I am in my middle 70’s now. Hope for more years of family! They are my reason for life!
When my grandmother developed dementia, my parents put in a MIL house in the backyard. It’s a tiny house that she had to herself, but was still close enough to my mom for comfort and peace of mind.
Hard to make a suggestion without the whole story. Personally I think it goes without saying parents could move in with me rather than a nursing home but without knowing his reasons for saying no its hard to make a call. Parents usually gave us everything and went without a lot to raise us. His parent or my parents, they deserve the same help as they get older 
I can tell you my experience with this. My mom was sick for 10 plus years before her passing. My husband didn’t like it but I stay at the hospital with my mom 7 nights a week for at least her last 6 mos. I would do it the same way again. His poor mom wanted him to stay all night with her when she was sick. He told his family to go on home he would stay that night. He lied to them they went home and he came home afterwards and we got the call at 3 am that she had passed. He never told his family just met the at the hospital at 4am. She just wanted him to stay so she could talk with him. I never looked at him quite the same. Parents give you life it’s our responsibility to take care of them.
What does your mother want? Maybe she would rather have an assistant and stay in her own home.
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to all saying she only has one mother…you don’t know the situation. My mother was physically abusive to me growing up, and the emotion and mental abuse continued into adulthood. We have a strained tumultuous relationship currently. I would feel guilty and like I owed her something and say yes to her moving in. My husband would protect me and mental health and say no.
Fortunately my husband would never refuse to take in either of my parents nor I his so I can’t imagine your position.
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Since you said your the only girl perhaps your also working i want to ask can’t you and your brother/s sit down and discuss this maybe she can move in with them or get a caretaker to live with your mom while you frequently visit her because again if your working you wound be able to take care of your mom.
I would move my mom in. I’m sorry your mom was your first love she took care of you when u was little now it’s your time to take care of her. I’ve been taking care of my mom full time for 3 years.
Did you guys talk about this before marriage? Not wanting to is okay. It’s okay to feel that way. But, ultimately he must know what the right thing to do is. What if the tables were turned and if it were his mother? What if this is him in 40 years. Would he want his child to take him in? We would all be better if we were a little more empathetic.
Men come and go threw out your life your mom’s always been there for you she didn’t ask to get old but she did have a baby out of love for you wouldn’t still be around she could have today you away gave up on you my momma isn’t here no more but I’d give her a home anytime just as she did me all those years
Yall don’t realize that some mother’s weren’t very good mother’s and were toxic in their children’s lives. Everyone has their own circumstances. Some people spend their whole lives fighting to get out from under their parents demons. Why backtrack your sanity to take care of a parent who could barely take care of their own child? Not everyone had a motherly mother.
Your mother raised you, clothed you and feed you to make you ready to live in this world. I understand he is a part of your life now and respect needs to be both ways.
I managed to convince my husband to do the same for my parents…he was completely against it, however he got used to it and he now realizes that it was the best thing to do…my parents have passed now and we both miss them…good luck and you are doing the right thing
It honestly really depends on the reason why he doesn’t want her moving in. If it’s just like “we don’t really get along very well”, I’d say suck it up. But if they have some deep-rooted issues, then that’s more understandable and a compromise needs to be made.
if u r good daughter and care for mom… go with mother coz mother is not available in the market where as hubby available in market these days… no tension for hubby… so I would advice to choose ur mom…
Do you have the space for her that is a concern. If you have ample space then why not. If you don’t then that’s a hard sell to any spouse. Hope it works out.
Start looking for a house with a mom’s unit or if she is able to care for herself a nearby apartment.
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Praying it is a good thing to do when you need to get some things andwered. God will make a way to help you and your mama. You only have one mother and need to help her but you also have a husband to think of. Get some advice from a minister. Praying for you and your family is always helpful!
Spouses support each other and no one should ever be made to choose. I would take care of my parent period end