My husband doesn't want our puppy on the bed: Advice?

My husband and I just got a puppy and I am heartbroken he refuses to let the dog sleep on our bed…she wants to crate train the dog and doesnt think dogs should be on the furniture…but I am the opposite and I feel so bad for it laying alone in its crate at night…how can i convince him?


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband doesn't want our puppy on the bed: Advice?

Crate training is actually very good, but sad you never had these conversations prior to getting the puppy.


Your husband’s opinion matters just as much as yours. Crate training is beneficial and necessary to teach the puppy potty training. Once the puppy can go all night with the crate being dry, get the puppy a bed of it’s own to go next to your bed.


Get rid of him… The man, I mean.


Crate training is actually beneficial for them. It creates a safe space essentially for them to go.


I have 3 dogs in my bed. It’s awful. They snore, fart and shed like you wouldn’t believe. I literally vacuum my bed daily. I highly encourage anyone to train the pups to sleep on a bed on the floor or crate train.


We crate trained ours except at night. He cried way too much for my husband. He now permanently sleeps with us in our bed…it actually worked out easier because he woke us up in the middle of the night to go potty whereas in his kennel, we wouldn’t have heard him.


Compromise. Crate training is honestly so good for the puppy. My partner doesn’t like animals in the bed so we compromise and our dog can be in our room on the floor or in his dog bed but just not our bed. He sleeps right as close to our bed as he can. I’m surprise you guys didn’t have this conversation before getting a dog lol


I side with husband we just got a puppy she is 6 weeks old sleeps on her crate but Is out all day till we go to bed she does lay on couch with me and in our bed if we are hanging out my husband thought he was going to sneak her into bed the other night he is a hard sleeper she woke up middle night crawled up by his head a went pee he gets why I said no :person_shrugging:


We def did crate training. But he TIRED to tell me that. Needless to say withing 3 days she was sleeping with us. Our pup is 7yrs now. She sleeps right besides us either bed or floor. I told my husband why have our dog locked up… He said something I said what if a robber or murderer tried to break in how could she help us. Yeah that ended she was in our bed that night.

If you’ve never crate trained a dog, that’s why you feel this way. Their kennel is their safe space. It’s a really great thing for the puppy and you.


Our dogs all sleep in the bed after being crate trained. We have 3

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Crate training is one of the best ways to train. Try making his crate nice n comfy and accept how your husband feels matters too

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I definitely think crate training is beneficial, BUT once puppy is well trained enough that they go into the crate without incident I’d try and revisit the sleeping in the bed topic. I finally won that battle with my fiancé after about a year and a half and now she always sleeps with us. :relieved:

Idk why ppl are mad about off the bed. Dogs pee/poop and just walk back in. At least we try to wipe or water clean. Last I’ve heard, ppl don’t wash their dogs every day and I don’t think a majority wipes everything down. And this is my opinion but some people can smell you when you sleep with your dog IF you’re not the shower in the morning and shower the night before people lol it stinks

Get rid of the husband lol :joy:.
Crate training is a great way to start off with it gives pup a safe place and helps with toilet training . It doesn’t have to be forever but pup will learn it’s place in the pack .

No dogs on the bed… crate train


You need to find a common ground maybe have it sleep on the floor instead of on the bed but you should crate train it also tell him it’d be better if the dog slept in the room with us for safety when it got older

This…was a discussion to have before you got the pup.
Puppies…require crate training at night so they can be properly housebroken dogs. It takes months for their bladders to mature.
They …are going to cry a bit initially.
You… need to review puppy training and housebreaking information.
Your husband is correct on this.
There will be plenty of time to cuddle/sleep in the bed at night once pup is trained and grown.


It is much safer for a puppy to be crated at night. They eat/chew/get into everything…Puppies need to be watched every second. Worse than toddlers lol


Time to get a new husband. :rofl:


Men think they rule everything it’s always what the men are going to say or do keep the puppy!!!

Don’t let him/her on the bed.

Tell him he can sleep in the crate


Im with hubby on this 1 dogs stink n leave fur n marks from sleeping give its on bed nxt to yr bed


Such a bummer. You and puppy will do great once husband is crate trained. :upside_down_face:

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So let me ask
You a question……

Will you allow your human children to sleep in your bed??? Or will they sleep in their crib???

Crib :tipping_hand_woman:t2: Crate :tipping_hand_woman:t2::woman_shrugging:t2:
Same thing except one will be a Human being. Why should your child sleep in a crib alone at night… but your Dog doesn’t sleep alone in its Crate at night??? :woman_facepalming:t2:


You should create train the pup. Maybe get a bed to put on the floor

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Keep the dog, lose the husband.

Here’s a few cons:
It’s a baby animal and will not sleep through the night( so both of y’all’s sleep will be affected) , The puppy won’t understand why it can’t be in the bed or room during sexy time and it will whine loudly, possibly scratch at the door, If the puppy isn’t atleast pad trained yet then you may wake up to the puppy using the potty in the bed, Depending on breed and all that; y’all could be laying in dog fur and have to wash your sheets more often then you usually have to or do.
Try compromising by yes crate training but also maybe get the puppy a bed or 2. Put one in the living room and one in your bedroom.
Sit down and have a talk about how y’all want to raise the puppy and listen to each other on how each other feels about the puppy being in the bed and other furniture.
Keep in mind that depending on the breed of the puppy it may not stay small forever and if it’s a medium to big dog, that dog will take up that space in your bed for the rest of its life.

Give him some time. The dog will melt his heart. It happened here. My husband didn’t want the dog at all! Now he is our spoiled “son”.


I understand the crate training. I mean do you want to really wake up on a puddle of pee? Or poop next to your head bc that will happen. We crate trained and once she fully used the potty outside she began to sleep in bed with us. Well the kids she always choose lol

Dogs usually like their crate. It’s their “den”. I don’t really understand that so much. For me I’d want to be in the bed. But often dogs like their own safe space that is just theirs. At first they ofcourse want to sleep with mummy. But then they like their “den”.
Your husband’s bed also needs to be a safe place. I love my dog but I prefer him stinking up his giant papasan chair rather than my sheets. Getting itchy hair everywhere. Eventually beds get stinky. But the owners can’t smell it as it’s normal to them. But others can.

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sleeping next to someone you love is healing, gives a better quality of sleep
In my case, my dogs all sleep in my bed, since I love them more

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I am in the “dog business”; I own a doggy daycare, boarding & grooming facility. I married a veterinarian that shared food with, let the dogs & cats lick him (including his face) and thought that anything he sat or slept on should be for them as well. Nope. I love our dogs & cats, but sanitary behavior is not their strong point and I want them in their own beds and off the furniture. They should always be crate trained as their happy place. Just think of how upsetting it would be to put in a strange box during an emergency if you weren’t accustomed to being there during a routine day. It’s just a much better plan. Get a crate and a really nice bed and train puppy to his/her “place”. Which means take them to puppy obedience classes where they are taught “place”, “sit” & “stay”.

I have 3 dogs. All crate trained. All 3 of them have beds of their own and seem to be very comfortable. 2 of them used to sleep in my bed, but unfortunately, my husband and I weren’t getting a good night’s sleep, so they ended up needing to go back to their own beds. My husband is a roofer, so he absolutely needs to be well rested and alert for work. We just couldn’t compromise his safety. Neither of them seem to care. They actually go in on their own when we’re ready for bed.

My husband and I crate trained our puppy for probably two months until she was fully potty trained before she slept in bed with us. But our older dog helped himself to the furniture the first day we brought him home from the pound so she followed suit as soon as she was big enough. But my parents dogs never were allowed on the furniture or in any beds and they still lived pretty good lives. And my parents couches and blankets didn’t smell like dog 24/7 :person_shrugging: personal opinion.

Crate training is really good for them. You can still get lots of loving and cuddles without the dog being on the bed. I would respect my husdy decision that the bed is for us only and not the animals.

We crate trained all of our dogs that came to us as puppies ( we have six). There are many benefits for example house training and creating a space of security. As the pup ages you leave the crate open and often they will retreat there to self sooth and sleep. Our adult dogs sleep in our room nowadays and take turns on the bed. I love them but my neck and back have suffered. So far as the couches go just be prepared not to have anything clean. Ours track in mud, get skunked, and shed like crazy.

We had 1 pug. He slept in his kennel til potty trained. Then he slept in the bed. We got another pug at 8 months old. Thought she’s already potty trained, 2 dogs in the bed is a lot especially since I’m 11 weeks pregnant. I didn’t want to have to break her of the habit to so she sleeps on the couch in our room. I’m breaking out first dog of it before the baby comes too. I just don’t want dog hair in the bed and then laying the baby on the bed or the dog jumping up and landing on baby or trying to get in my lap while I’m nursing etc.

You should crate train the dog now while he’s a puppy but he shouldn’t be left in there all night it’s not right. How would you like being in a confined space for hours. I let my dog sleep with us but then my husband turned over fast and pulled the covers and the dog went literally flying (he’s a teacup yorkie) then my husband said I don’t want him on the bed. I felt so bad for him he would cry to get up now he sleeps in his own bed next to mine.

My husband was against it when we first got my puppy and I explained I’m training her to be my emotional support animal and I still have horrible nightmares sometimes 4 years later. Beware your puppy may pee on the bed so potty/crate training does help unless you want to wash your sheets all the time lol

We allowed our pup to sleep with us while potty training only. When he moved I took him outside immediately. He rarely had accidents and it went fairly fast. He sleeps on the floor in our room now.

Crate training isn’t so bad. It gives your dog a safe space that is all theirs and they get used to it quick. My dog rarely goes in her crate anymore but when she was a pup she would go in at bedtime. It helps with potty training and that way u know they aren’t just running around the house all night getting into things n chewing stuff up. Maybe once your dog gets older and u know it won’t have accidents during the night or is trained not to chew stuff up u can crate it less n less. My dog is out all day n would only be crated at night n she is perfectly content in or out of the crate

Alot of people are saying the same thing. Crate train until dog is old enough to wait to potty and is trained enough not to chew. After that you can revisit the talk on where the dog sleeps. Depending on the dog and breed it might not want to sleep on the bed with you anyways. I have a German shepherd who is allowed up but only lays there until I fall asleep and then he lays in the hallway between my room and my kids room. My pug mix sleeps on my pillow above my head. He doesn’t shed much though so it wasn’t hard convincing my man that’s where he should be lol.

Why should you have to convince him to do it your way? Marriage is an equal partnership and his feelings matter just as much as yours. Y’all should have discussed this before getting a pet. Sit down and talk and reach a compromise together or rehome the dog.

We have had dogs and I’m with your husband. We’ve crate trained all of our puppies and do not allow our dog in our bed. The furniture is another story :woman_facepalming:t3:

My husband tried that. But our dogs were here before him

You need to drop him off where you found him… the husband; that is.

Dogs are dirty, I’d be happy my husband wasn’t a slob and enjoyed a clean space :woman_shrugging:t3:

I’d sleep on the floor with the dog :rofl:

I agree with the husband.

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Think about how dirty dogs actually are, you want to sleep with that?

Animals dont belong in the house

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Show him where the guest bedroom is.

Put the crate in your bedroom.

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This is a 2yes 1 no situation. If one person doesn’t want to train animals to be on furniture then you don’t. Personally I think crate training is important with all animals. It gives them a safe space that is theirs. Especially for anxious animals. However if you both aren’t on board then you both need to sit down and figure out how to train the animal. Really should’ve figured this out before bringing the animal into the home. Have you considered how else you will be training the dog? What about leash training? Will you teach the animal to approach strangers and other animals? What about recall?


I feel like this should have been a discussion you should of had before purchasing the puppy. What will happen to the puppy if you can’t agree on where the puppy is to sleep. Crate training is good for the puppy to learn (potty training), I have grown up with dogs, had a few over the years, and every one of them has been crate trained, they were still allowed on the furniture though cos in my eyes no matter the animal you chose to be in your home, you chose to have live with you, becomes part of your family, and you wouldn’t tell family members to get off the furniture.

Honestly our dog sleeps with us every single night and I used to be all for it. But there are certain things that partners do ya know that kinda ruins it with animals and our bloody princess will scratch at the door and it drives me nuts. Also she licks and scratches all night long and I wish we never had her sleeping on our bed but it’s too late :frowning: she owns our house :rofl: I vote no unless you can handle that.

I’m against crate training but also don’t love dogs in my bed. Couch is different.
Me & my wife are fostering 4 month old siblings & we built them a makeshift thing to sleep in. They can still jump out & do to let us know when they need to go potty at night. They have a dog bed & a blanket in there. We took 2 storage containers & cut 1 end off of each & then pushed them together to make a huge one. They are ONLY in there at night. Ask him to meet in the middle.

The dog isn’t going to know the difference as long as you’re consistent. The dog won’t be sad being in a crate over night or not being on the furniture. Get a really nice dog bed for day time that you both can lay on.

Our dogs aren’t allowed on furniture and they were crate trained. They are fine

Our pups just are not allowed under the covers, they can lay on top of the covers at the foot of the bed

Tell him to get over it after all it’s your bed to our little dog a Jack Russell sleeps on our bed every [email protected] does our little Calico cat we don’t believe in Crates never will we do that don’t own one