My husband cheated on me while I was 9 month pregnant. I found out and confronted. Skip 2 months later we are still miserably (random happy) trying to make it through. Anyways, one argument he says “she was just a prostitute! I was only with her because she let me pee on her face!” I completely get over the cheating a laugh now. So one day he’s trying to be vindictive and says “let’s call Veronica (not real name) and ask her how much of a man I am” I laugh and said sure call up pee face I’ll talk to her 
he couldnt say anything. So now he’s pouting that he can’t hurt me with that… see how long this silent treatment lasts
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Well honestly speaking I’d tell him he’s not much of a real one because HE PAID for her services so her opinion is a paid for not a honest one lol so even if he’s not. a REAL MAN (in a Pinocchio voice) either way she got her money so she could buy diapers for her kids while his kid was on the way. So ask him where ur money is bc ur stuck sleeping with him on a regular and it’s not up to par and u should be paid for the constant disappointment. - if you wanted a toxic rebuttal to his mean comment. I think u handled it well. Being cheated on hurts. Him cheating while pregnant could have exposed u and baby to all kinds of diseases and infections. That’s the truth of the matter. A pregnant woman is overfill of hormones and that makes emotions go on rollercoaster and cheating makes it sooooo much worse. I’m sorry he did that. As far as toxic relationship and taking dogs at each other is that what u want ur kids to think is healthy happy relationship? Are u just there because he pays bills or helps with them? Do u actually honestly still love him? Do u think u deserve this? You might have to sit down and write out 2 lists. On one list write down everything that he does right everything that makes you happy everything that y’all enjoy together things that y’all have in common and think about current things not past. You can start your lives with things in the beginning and stuff like that and things that he’s done nice overtime that y’all of been together. Then sit down and write a list of the negative things all the things he’s done wrong all the things that bother you all the things that hurt you all the things that make you cry that make you upset that you don’t appreciate or that you wish would change and you can start that from the beginning of the relationship until now. Then go through both list and check off the current ones or circle the current ones that are still affecting you today. Which list is longer? Because sometimes when we love somebody and we care about them we think about everything with our heart we get complacent in a relationship and we think that things are OK and we only hold onto the good positive moments and we try not to think about the negative even though the negative outweigh anything and everything else and far too often we get stuck in a relationship that is literally going absolutely nowhere that actually drains us down and drains us emotionally until we have pretty much nothing left to give you have kids that you need to take care of and you need to raise and they need to see their mom happy and healthy and enjoying herself they don’t want to see your mom that is rundown and tired and agitated and aggravated constantly trying to please somebody who will never except them fully love them and they always have in the back of the mind that he’s going to run back to somebody like P face so my dear if you want my N honest opinion leave pack your kids and go put child support on him and leave him fired divorce do whatever you need to do and cut off ties he will try to use the kids as pawns because this is the normal mark of a narcissist manipulator he’s going to do anything and everything and to tear you down so you’re completely dependent on him but if you have the snarky Spitfire comebacks part of you were still in there get out before it’s too late you can PM me if you want
Not sure how you could continueto love amd respect a “man” that thinks it’s okay and normal to cheaton his wife AND urinate on another woman. Leave while you can still look at yourself in the mirror. He’s going to set a horrible example as a father if he can even attept to act like a parent.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband got mad at a joke I made about him cheating: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
What a perfect environment for a child…
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Wow. Why stay? Sounds like a real ***hat!
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Super gross that’s not a man.
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Gross, your husbands a pig
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You prolly made him feel bad about a kink he has, congratulations
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Ew. You’re a joke for still being with him lol
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Welp, this is toxic 
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Sounds like a wonderful environment for the child. Split up for the child’s sake.
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this just made my day . Sorry he’s a cunt , but yeh , let’s call pee face
Leave his sorry ass. Sounds like emotional abuse if he’s constantly throwing his affair in your face every time you get in an argument.
Because that’s a healthy environment to raise a child in… 
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He sounds like a ashole!! But love your sense of humor pee face!! Great come back!!
I feel like both of you are toxic. Definitely should do some counseling before that baby gets here to help all of you.
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Toxic af eww both of you 
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If he cheated specially with a prostitute he shouldn’t be making jokes. If he thinks you can easily laugh about it who is to say he won’t do it again
You’re proud of the comeback??? Jokes really on you… 
sounds pretty toxic… tit for tat?? 
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How old are you two?
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Eww…that’s all I got for him and I don’t kink shame except for the following: poop/pee and beastitly (might have spelled that wrong). Ugh I just don’t get that sh💩.
did it work? are they married?
Either forgive and let go, get some couple therapy to process and work though it, or split up. This is not a healthy way to teach a child to communicate with their future partners
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And Y’all have kids!? Oh no.
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The whole environment seems toxic. Your child deserves better
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Yeah, I don’t think this is going the way you expected it to. You’re both toxic asf and sound like you both need counseling or to split up.
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Who says romance is dead
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What exactly are you needing advice on? Not only did he cheat on you, he took money that could have been spent somewhere else to do it. And you guys are obviously not happy. So advice? Split.
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My ex cheated with a girl from the recycle place she separated trash and recycles so I told him you want trash go be with the trash you found
I mean he started it 
but that right there should show you that he’s not sorry he did it and will most likely do it again. I suggest filing for divorce, for your sake as well as your child’s.
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I laugh at your amazing come back but I’m still irritated he tried to use this against you… really confusing emotions here for me 
can’t imagine how you feel… maybe try not ‘score’ points with each other would be a good start.
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He brought it up and you responded back and now he’s giving you the silent treatment? Sounds as toxic as they come. Like everyone else said, get out of the situation now it’s not healthy for your kid to witness the dysfunction
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Lmao point set … Match
I wouldn’t be laughing especially since she was a prostitute I’d be checking your self out for STDs!
Larry Back I shouldn’t be laughing but what in the shit?!
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Your Husband Is An ASS HOLE, Dump Him 
He Had No Respect For You !!!
Tracy Carter this one can’t be real
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With a prosty!? While you carried his seed!??!
And you’re staying !?!
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I wouldn’t have stayed with that nasty creep!
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Man I feel sorry for your child
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If that doesn’t show you he isn’t sorry I don’t know what will
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Keep proof of that if you guys ever have to divorce and you have to worry about your kids that’s definitely a thing that’s not going to help him
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Ew this is all so toxic and immature. This relationship sounds exhausting
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This is satire right ? Like you’re joking with us ? Bored and just need some entertainment?
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You both sound childish…and text c to each other!!! Seek counseling…if for nothing else…the baby’s sake! 
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He’s AH… “let’s call yo Veronica and ask her how much of a man I am” Seriously…. Horrible
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This can’t be for real
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Wtf this is just sad. Gross.
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All jokes aside- this sounds super unhealthy and toxic. If you both aren’t willing to work at your marriage to make it better you are causing more harm then good for you and your kids. I’m not seeing where you want advice, it appears you are just sharing a story. Your kids along with you and him deserve better.
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Why is this here? Where’s the admins?
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You are in a super toxic marriage woman
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Sounds like y’all are both unhappy and just staying because is comfortable…. Happiness shouldn’t be forced or pretend, walk away queen!!
You are still with him 
no love there
Wow so not only does he cheat on you he pays for the pleasure then uses it to try and hurt you? And you’re staying and even manage to make jokes about it and he brings this up and sulks giving you the childish cold shoulder. Wow this seems like the relationship of the year 
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Sounds like a looser
I guess I’m confused on why anyone would be with a man that thinks peeing in someone else’s face is a turn on. 
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Sounds like he can’t handle what he dishes out.
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This sounds like a toxic relationship and a recipe for disaster…best of luck.
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Girl fix yourself…that’s messy.
Tell him so man up and quit being a baby
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I cant stop laughing at pee face
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Are you serious?!!! Why are you still with him? He will do it again Ann’s she definitely isn’t the only one
Not sure why this is here. But I feel sorry for you
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Um is this serious??? For one… you’re not making jokes to me about you cheating, you can G O. Well he would have been gone for cheating anywaysssss but… yeah.
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The hell…but its funny as hell
That’s disgusting, if my husband ever done ANYTHING with a prostitute? I’m out. There’s too many diseases for nasty crap like that, let alone having a person who lays with prostitutes around my baby 
Um, that’s weird. Two months later you’re over his d*** being in someone else? Lol. You’re tripping. Enjoy that.
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he is a cheat and will never stop . my advice is to get out as soon as you can.
Is he taking the piss? 
He sounds very immature and the fact that he’s throwing the affair in your face shows that he does not respect you and he is not truly sorry. I’m glad that you have been able to get past it and make light of it. He on the other hand should not be saying such garbage. His true colors are showing so you need to decide if he is the one or not and then go from there.
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Did I just step into the Twilight Zone cause wtf???
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This is soo toxic. You need to figure it out before your baby gets any older.
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Sometimes I wish these posts weren’t anonymous. This has got to be a joke.
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You are crazy to stay with a cheating, narcissist POS
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Mental help is a thing. You both need it
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Imagine being insulted by the phrase pee face
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Why would you stay with someone like that 
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I hope this is a joke…
If not, I hope you have some money saved to break it off. This relationship will only eat you.
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Sounds like he needs to go to “Veronica” and see if she’ll put up with the rest of his bullshit that you have to put up with daily. “Veronica” let’s him pee on her face because she gets paid to do it. I guarantee you that she doesn’t think he’s a man simply for the fact that he has to pay her for sex/face peepees.
Fucking freak! Leave his ass in the dust. Let him pee on all the prostitutes his little heart desires. I know it’s hard to leave even if he stomps on your heart because you love him. But a man who loves you would never do that, nor make jokes, nor get mad at you for making jokes and coping the way you have to. Be strong for that baby! If the kids see you put up with it they will believe you deserve it and never be strong enough to leave a similar situation because they watched their mom stay
Lmao oh man you are being way to nice honestly I would keep them coming 24/7 for a few weeks minimum and in front of everyone me and my other half are ruthless I guess though our loved ones are use to It but new people panic lol
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That was the best come back, tell him to man up and accept his nasty act
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First of all he is disgusting for cheating on you. Second even worse because you were pregnant and with a prostitute! Is he asking for something?! He is a disgusting pig. Trying to laugh off him cheating is not funny. Don’t settle for less because you share a child.
This has to be fake. If not then damn mama gtfo of there! My ex husband cheated on me too when I was pregnant. It doesn’t get better unless you’re actually working on moving through it with a couples counselor. Sounds like he’s waiting for any excuse to cheat again
Haha if he hadnt said what he did u wouldnt have said what you did. Dont start nothing wont be nothing. Fuck him leave.
Uh move on with your life this whole thing is so ridiculous is sounds made up.
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You both sound immature
A real man doesn’t do that to a woman sorry not sorry that’s disgusting and super gross he needs mental help haha
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Uhhhhh is this a joke? If it’s not, you should not be in that marriage lol
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The fact that u forgave him at all let alone so soon its so disrespectful for him to make jokes. Like lets call up the chick i cheated with and see why shes better than u or why she thinks higher of me than u do. This whole situation is crazy in my opinion.
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Girl you can do better than a man who pees on prostitutes leave
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Toxic relationships steal your joy. Parting ways now sounds ideal.
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What in the actual &@%# ?!? Y’all need help
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Y’all both unhappy… yeah…. This sounds like he won’t cheat again. Y’all won’t make it another 4 months. You should just count your loses with this one and I’m sorry if you believed him this long. You and your baby just need to get away from him. Let pee face have him - since he is obviously still talking to her.
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This sounds like a seriously unhealthy and toxic marriage. And I genuinely hope this is a joke. This isnt even one of those “all marriages have a rough patch” type of things. This is a “yall are absolutely toxic together and need to split sooner rather than later”. You both sound extremely toxic. Not only did he cheat to pee on someone’s face, he cheated while you were pregnant. And then for both of you to use it against each other like it’s some big funny joke. 
I hope your child doesnt learn any of these things from you guys so he/she can have healthy relationships when older. Definitely not something a child should grow up around.
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Wow this is horrible. I hope this isn’t real. He cheated on you pregnant 
I’m thankful you didn’t catch something that could have harm the baby. Smh
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Girl. That’s fucking funny. And he has issues, how can he crack jokes to get under your skin but can’t handle it when you dish it back? Hea lucky you’re still even together and that you’re trying to forgive him
Well for him to have said that in the first place was freaking dirty. Props to you for coming back with a joke.
Doesn’t sound like it’s working very at this point. Maybe it will improve if he will act like a grown man.
You’re both out here roasting yourselves lmao.
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