My husband has been mean to me since I lost weight: Advice?

Leave him he sounds so toxic an you don’t need that I promise it will be worth it just to be happier! :heart:

Congratulations on the weight loss if your going to leave which would be more beneficial for you an the kids there is places out there that will help with child care you have got this mumma

Marriage counseling but if he refuses… just make the leap. You’re already basically a single parent from the sounds of it, no point keeping something toxic in your life out of fear

There is social services that will pay for the kids to go there as long as you work…Then get child support for them …you will make it …leave now …And congrats on your weight loss …good luck …

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You just have to do it, leave. You will figure out a way to make it work best for you and your kids. Don’t make excuses like that, you absolutely can live your life without toxic trash like him

Leave him , maybe try find afordabel child care at a family member to watch lil one for you emotional stress is not good for you

Sounds like your husband has Peter Pan Syndrome, the boy who never grew up. My first husband was that way. Wouldn’t work was a “stay at home dad” but let the kids run and refused to do housework.

Good luck to ya he doesn’t deserve you darling :clown_face:

Girl you got this and a milkshake and all that and a bag of chips… you don’t need no little hot dog at that’s bbq… drop the premade and go get you some smashed potatoes :woman_shrugging::wink:

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You can get financial aide for child care.
I’m a single Mom. My son is grown now but it was just us from when he was six months old.

Wow so you stay cause you want help with the kids???

Oh hell no. Don’t put up with a rude ass man-child.

A lot of husbands can not stand it when their “fat and ungainly” wives wake up and take care of themselves. If they have teased or berated you about weight, that takes away their fun. They are actually jealous. They hate the compliments you get, hate the attention. If he can not accept it, he is a problem. Do not give up.

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I went through this 110%. He would make comments about me being heavy. I lost 130 pounds the. He would call me selfish and inconsiderate for losing the weight. I have been divorced 3 years and I am still trying to figure this all out. I signed up for state assistance for daycare help. I was ashamed at that at first but I am not now. I need help. Counseling did not work for MY marriage he twisted everything back on to me. You need to go with your gut. It will be hard whatever decision you make

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So he doesn’t work, doesn’t help around the house and treats you like shit?? Throw the whole man away :wastebasket::put_litter_in_its_place: and move on with your life. They have child care assistance you may qualify for and he can still help with your children even if your not together. Your children see how he treats you. You and them deserve better than that. You are a strong woman and mother you got this :+1::muscle:

Just do it, and you’ll figure out a way.

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I was in your exact position. And I do mean exact. I had bariatric surgery in June 2018 and ended up losing 125lbs. My boyfriend at the time, before I lost the weight, never said a word about my weight, at almost 300lbs. After losing the weight, I was a fat bitch and a fat whore ALL THE TIME! I was accused of cheating all the time. He wouldn’t work and wouldn’t do anything at home. I was learning to love myself and be comfortable with myself and he was trying to break me back down to when my self esteem was low. He was jealous. He posted my information on Craigslist under encounters. He threatened my kids, he was just horrible. I had to end up getting a protective order. I met my now husband 2 years ago and I’ve never been happier. I’ve even gained some weight back. I promise you, you would be a lot happier leaving him. Not to mention, as a single mother, there are programs to help you everywhere from finding housing to helping pay for child care. Your children should not see a man treat their mother that way, especially if that man is their father. You don’t want that as an example for what your children look for in a spouse. Leave. Now.

Girl, help yourself out and run! Drop that extra 200lbs (or whatever he weighs) and don’t look back. You’ll figure it out - don’t be scared about childcare, be scared that he doesn’t respect you or support you. Your kids need to see their Momma being treated right and talked to with respect.

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Leave him he’ll find out how expensive child support is & have no choice but to start working​:raised_hands:t4::clap:t4::bangbang:

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Congrats on your weight loss journey :confetti_ball: this is very common and It will get worse , your transformation is making his insecure and THAT is a personal problem you cannot fix , I am a work at home mom surgical coordinator I hear stories like This daily I’ve had many Sleeved clients / patients

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Mom of four here. I left a toxic relationship of five years, I like you started to feel better about myself and he started being mean, I left and started fresh, best decision I ever made moved a state away and I am three years free of toxic and it only took 6weeks to find my career and 3 months to get into my own place. We still doing it. :muscle:t3:

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Leave. Im a single mom… 28years old… no child support. But I managed. The government helps out alot. But for the sake of ur children you need to just leave! They deserve better and you 100% deserve better.

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Time to pack your bags and leave

I’d try marriage counseling first if possible to see if things can change or you can find out what his problem/s is/are and go about fixing them.

If that doesn’t work out for you, plan your exit carefully, especially since he seems the type to want to be an a-hole. Since you have the only income, you’re in a better position. He could still watch the kids after you’re separated/divorced if you trust him; if not, ask your lawyer what you need to put in your papers to protect you and the kids from being harmed or kidnapped.

Biden may get legislation through that helps with child care; research if any federal/state/county/town subsidies are available. Maybe you could coordinate with another mom or moms who work different hours so you could watch each other’s kids instead of paying for childcare. Also, how old are your kids? How long will you need to pay for care before they start school? Is Pre-K/Head Start available for free in your area yet? Can anyone in your family help you financially while you get on your feet?

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Things have a way of working themselves out. Trust yourself and your feelings. Do what’s best for you. Where there’s a will, there’s a way and you’ll make it happen. I had to have daycare vouchers from the state while I was in school and working. I’m so grateful.

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Maybe he feels insecure. Be glad he is jealous. Have you tried reassuring him that you love him? Do you sit down and talk about how each of you feel and why you feel this way? Just don’t walk away without trying first.

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Run for it ! Dont look back…
Welldone on the weightloss :clap::purple_heart:

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He’s pushing his insecurities on to you. You feeling better about yourself and looking great plus the fact that your the bread winner makes him feel as if he’s insignificant so instead of expressing this to you in a positive way he lashes out. Putting you down is a way to make himself feel better, he’s manipulative and that’s abuse. Leave his ass the rest you will figure out as time goes by. Don’t tie yourself down to a toxic relationship.

Leave get child support he wants you big and unhappy because then he’s in control .

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Easy go to parental guidance get half-price daycare. Call dhr and start up a child support case and kick him out. You don’t need to be with someone who puts you down like that.

Hes jealous and insecure

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You will be surprised how much help is out there for single mums!

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Child support sis…

What an amazing act of bravery from this young man! He should be awarded a medal for his courage & selflessness :heart:

There are programs that help parents with child care, as long as you have a job and are working. Which doesn’t seem to be a problem for you. I would suggest couples therapy and see where it goes if he agrees to go. If he refuses then leave and try for assistance programs until you can get child support from him. Which he will need to grow up and get a job. It will force him to see what you’ve been doing this whole time, plus a child plus housework.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband has been mean to me since I lost weight: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

Child care is expensive yes, but if you’re the only income anyway loosing him would free up some money that may help towards the cost of child care. I’ve been a single mum for 8 years since my son was 10 months old, I work full time and my work are very helpful. You need to voice these feelings and thoughts to your husband or just outright tell him that he needs to stop being mean about your weight or you’ll be waving him bye bye. Life is too short to put up with that kind of behaviour so he either addresses it or stays a small little man forever and takes it out of the door along with his things

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You will find a way with money. It will be hard at first till you find your feet but trust me is women always find away to make it work. All that matters is your happiness and the kids if your in happy and he’s been a dick they are seeing it and it will have a knock on affect. Put yourself first

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Tell him to tuck his titties in his shorts and get over himself :blush:

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband has been mean to me since I lost weight: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

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If you are the o ly one working and taking.care.of the house sounds like you need to kick the free loading mouth piece out on his ass. How much more expensive could it be with out him, one less mouth to feed.

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Child support is a great way to help pay for child care. Also there is usually daycare centers that are based off what you make, and state maybe pick up where you can’t. I’d look into assistance anyway possible. No way do you deserve to go through this!

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You think shedding a few lbs feels good? Shed a few more (him) and you’ll feel fantabulous! I once took a paycut for a job that I would be happier doing with a better schedule for a single Mom. Super scary move, but my boost in mental and emotional health was totally worth it. Congrats on taking care of you Mama!

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It is frightening to think of! But you will be amazed how much you will succeed & end up being in much better position than you are in now…
Do it for the sake of your own happiness…
It will all flow from there​:pray::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
Trust me I will be single 2yrs this June long weekend after 19yrs of hell & drunken abuse, left in debt. But I have paid most of the debt off & am in credit on my bills, no being called vile names everyday…
Life is sooo much better🥰

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He is feeling insecure. He doesnt want other men to start giving you attention in fear you will leave. But if he is that toxic leaving will be the best thing for you and the kids. If you have family or close friends maybe ask them for help. If not maybe look into home daycares which i think are cheaper. Or depending on your financials maybe you could be offered assistance. Im sorry your going through a rough time. No one deserves to be treated like that

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Insecurity always grows into a beast. He should not even think that about you if it was love

I’ve always said…“It’s better to be alone than to be alone with a man!”
Kudos to your new you!! Where there’s a will there is always a way to do it without his child care help. Life is too short to be treated poorly and it doesn’t sound like this is anything new. Good luck :grinning:

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He deff sounds very toxic. Someone like him will never be satisfied! First he talked crap about your weight, now that you lost it he’s acting insecure and angry and now mad at that! Don’t be scared to leave trust me you can do it!! I would try to look for any stay at home jobs! Save up some money for a good laptop and headset and literally look and don’t stop until you find one. That way you can stay at home with your babies! You have to be the strongest you have ever been. Also look into putting him on child support to help with finances. I’m not saying leave him because ultimately you will do what you want, but if you do decide to leave, there are so many resources! Don’t be scared! You got this :heart:

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Lose another 100 & whatever lbs he is and live your BEST LIFE!

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Leave. This is him teaching your kids how to treat you.

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What the hell? He was mean to you before and after losing weight, doesn’t work and then expects you to do all of the chores? No! You are a single mother with an EXTRA CHILD! Throw him away.

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When you said you’re the only one who works he would be so gone. Life is too expensive for a grown ass man to be laid up …

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There’s all kinds of resources for low income…do your research and get the hell out and start the rest of your life like you deserve! That’s what I did! Was scared but knew it was what I had to do for my own sanity!! it all worked out :slight_smile: Have faith!

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Life is too short to be with someone who doesn’t appreciate you. Find a way to leave for you and your kids. You don’t want them to grow up thinking that is how a woman should be treated.

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I think it’s time to loose another 200ish lbs and move on with your happy self. Don’t worry about the cost of child care, that’s what child support is for. What your describing is emotional abuse. Your children are watching and learning from your relationship. Right now they are learning it’s OK to bully some one.

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Don’t stay just because of the children,thats not healthy either. Get rid of some more excess weight…him​:blush::heart:life is short, be happy.

Literally went through this exact issue. Lost tons of weight and my marriage fell apart because of it. He was only happy when I was large and felt there was no competition. I left because my happiness and mental health was worth so much more than staying. Child care is expensive but he needs to help with that. If not there’s always the legal system that can help with that.

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Sad thing is the children are seeing this. The way he treats you. And will grow up thinking that’s okay. And will also end up in toxic relationships. Girl, get out! It doesn’t get any better

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I would leave. You will find a way, mothers always do!

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leaving is best
when he is abusive I left
and so much
happier and learning to love myself again. it’s the best feeling
to be happy.

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He should be happy that you are taking care of your health. I think it’s very selfish. Take a weekend (or longer) away. See how he likes life without you.

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You’ve already started taking care of your physical health. Take care of your mental health too.
He’s probably worried about your newfound self, and needs to hear he’s important too. However. He probably needs to hear to cut the shit because that’s not how you treat the mother of his kids or someone he loves. No matter what.
Start making sure you are aware of an emergency fund for yourself and kids. Talk to him to see if you both can communicate better but if not then take care of yourself and your kids. In whatever way that works for you.
Kids are resilient and can adapt. They also learn what they see.

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I found out the hard way that staying in a relationship for the kids sake is not the answer and it’s damaging for them, yes it would be scary and hard but everyone needs to be happy and an unhappy relationship is not good for kids or anyone involved

If he’s abusive to you he’s probably abusive to the kids when you’re not there. You can get financial assistance for daycare. Sounds like a loser honestly.

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Leave him & find a way for childcare. He’ll have to pay half of the costs anyways if you divorce. Be happy and don’t let anyone talk down to you. If he loved you, he wouldn’t treat you like that and you want to set a healthy relationship example for your children. Hugs to you :heart:

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Leaving was the best thing I did! Is it hard, yes. Do I regret it? Nope! I haven’t dated since I left and the kids and I are great!

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I’ll babysit your kids leave that narcissist he was mean when you were heavy and he even more mean now U are happy and healthy…U can’t win Hun

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Check your state for childcare assistance. They pay most of daycare based on your income. You can pay as low as $30 a week. Put them in daycare BEFORE you leave. Get that all settled and you’ll see that once your kids are taken care of and your working you’ll feel so much better and it’ll be one less worry.

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Leave his ass and still make him watch the kids while you work they still his kids lbs

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Leave now! Been in that abusive cycle for 9 years myself until I left with my 3 kids.Best decision I ever made!! It’ll never get better

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Sounds like you’re about to lose another 200 pounds give or take.

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I went through that about 14 years ago… My husband was a heavy drug addict once I lost my weight I felt better about myself and I left him… You deserve better but I understand about the child care looking to programs with all the money they’re having now there might be free child care Google it… Best wishes

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Hon, while you’re at work contact a “battered women’s center” - emotional abuse is still abuse and they will be able to help you with contacts and resources to set up and have in place before you have a confrontation and tell him to leave. Never settle for the kids benefit—. You’re literally letting them see how they too can treat you with little to no respect -or even think that’s normal and in their relationships expect that abuse from their spouse later in life.

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Sometimes the scariest decisions or life changes can be for the BEST. It may not feel like that at first but in the end it will be. Honestly, you sound like a very smart, independent woman and I think (even if you believe all odds are against you) you will be able to figure it out on your own. If you have become happier with yourself and you stay with someone that is only gonna bring you down…your going to end up taking 10 steps backward. You got this girl! :muscle:

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Find a way to leave him, your kids don’t need to see/hear how he’s treating you, and you deserve happiness. Don’t wait until there’s an easier time, a better time, etc. Don’t make excuses. Be happy and set a good example for your lovely kids. Hugs!

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ccap pays for childcare u might have to pay like 24$ a month for 2 kids single mom here and working ft as a care giver its hard sometimes but worth the peace of not dealing with a toxic man and just focusing on myself and my babies

If child care is the only thing holding you back then your relationship is done.

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He is belittling you to make you insecure and feel like no one would want you but him because he doesn’t want to loose his meal ticket. Get rid of him. You are doing it all now so you will be fine without him.

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Nahhhh sis leave you can get help with childcare but your children shouldn’t have to grow up with him treating you like that

Honey, he’s threatened… He’s jealous, and obviously an ass. You continue to be healthy and happy. And if dude can’t handle it and cheer you on… Bail…There is childcare assistant, grandparents, etc. But talk to him first and tell him your thoughts, and get his thoughts too. Don’t jump and throw your marriage away without trying to see if it’s salvageable.

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Be happy with your self and the kids if he was a pod before and now worse you were a saint to stick with him so you will survive check out your family center for daycare or go on angies list for references for child care

He is feeling insecure because he is seeing you take better care of yourself and he thinks another man will get your attention or you are doing this to get someone else. Letting someone go like that would be so much better especially for your children. Keep doing you girl!

You deserve better. He was mean to you then when you had the weight on and he is still mean to you with the weight off, he doesn’t help in any way and is an envious, ungrateful man, he doesn’t deserve you and you don’t deserve to have to deal with that. There’s only so much and so little time to deal with everything and if you feel better about yourself after the weightloss and finally feeling like a part of you is at ease, but he is still that one part of you that is tearing you down, you have to make a decision for yourself and what is important to you, your life, your kids and how you want to go about the rest of your life living. Be strong, you’ll mkae your way and you’ll figure it out. Childcare is expensive, but there are many alternatives and solutions to problems. When you have everything figured out, have confidence and be strong when making your decision and when you do, do it with a sense of mind that a weight is lifted off your shoulders.

Maybe you can get the ball rolling and check into assistance for childcare before kicking him to the curb! If he’s not working then they don’t have to know he lives with you, depending on if you are married or he is just living with you

I had the gastric sleeve and twins too. My marriage ended in divorce because he couldn’t stand that I found confidence in myself. I hope yours has a happier ending.

I was worried about childcare as well. Google childcare assistance in your county. There are lots of resources out there for parents. If this is what’s holding you back, it can be worked out. Sounds like you have the right mindset to better yourself and he’s just dragging you down. Do some research and make a plan :grin::pray: good luck

Best weight you will ever lose it that of an abusive spouse. You are stronger than you think.

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oh my he sounds narcissistic and a big ass!!! He definitely has self esteem issues himself. any man who puts a woman down is dealing with his own set of issues called “assanitous” hun you can def do better. I understand it’s hard to just leave. try to look into some housing that helps and call places that help with link card, only because they have ways to help you too with child care. it’s different in any state. If you need help getting out, private message me

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Child support or might be able to get assistance till you get on your feet better being alone .

You’re never alone when you’re in a situation like this I think it’s surprising how much your friends and family will help especially if you communicate you’re feelings

Get out now I was with my abusive ex for too long . I would get out. It’s hard and tough . But in the end you and the kids will be happier I promise that

Get rid of that abusive husband is what I would do. You will always find a way. Reach out to local churches and single parent groups, you are not alone

Your local human services should help if you leave him. I stayed now I’m disabled and more miserable than ever. Most days I don’t want to live thankfully my kids are adults and don’t need me like they did. Verbal abuse is worse than physical abuse

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Some men can’t handle the attention. Or prefer you bigger. My ex was thst way after 10 urs we ultimately divorced I remarried and had a child with my new husband!! My life has never been better. Sometimes it’s just time to grow, even if you are not ready…not everyone is permanent in our lives but a stepping stone to our future.

Dump his butt now before it gets worse and it will if you let it .you are not getting any help now from him get him out of your life not the kids…

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Your children could be suffering also seeing him be so mean they will pick up on it. They are like sponges learning how to treat others

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Hes probably projecting his insecurities on you, whether it subconscious or conscious, doesnt matter. I’m sorry you’re going through this but you really do deserve better. Theres absolutely no reason your partner should think its okay to be disrespecting and hurting you like that. If hes already putting in equal effort to care for your children and your relationship, he never will and you will just end up feeling empty, exhausted, and have wasted a lot of time you could have been enjoying on your own :heart::heart: also, alimony and child support :kissing_heart:

He is trying to sabotage your weight loss. It’s a fiem of control. The more confident you are the less control he has over you. Call an attorney. He can help you figure out how to get the needed resources, and be done with this guy. The more confident you get, the nastier he will become. He wants you to feel bad, so his way of life isn’t threatened.

The answer is in your question. Leave. You do it all alone now, so you can do it alone without him. He should not be treating you like that. That’s not okay. Emotional abuse is a serious thing. And that’s exactly what this is sounding like.

Life is short. You already know the answer in your heart. It’s ok to choose happy and choose yourself.