My husband is controlling, what should I do?

I’ve been married for 8 years and my husband has always tried to control what I wear. If I wear something that he doesn’t like , for example if it’s “too short” or according to him “too revealing” he throws a fit and instantly gets angry and demands I change or “we’re going to have the biggest fight ever”. In the beginning of our marriage I would most of the time give in and change my outfit just to avoid any arguments but recently I’ve put my foot down and told him I was tired of him trying to control what I wear and said to him that I will no longer let him tell me how I can dress and whenever I wear something he doesn’t like we have huge fights and he won’t speak to me for days for that. Am I wrong for that? Sometimes I feel like he makes me think I’m in the wrong for wearing rompers or summer dresses or shorts, like I sometimes question am I wrong for wearing this? Do you let your husbands control what you wear?????
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This much control? Over clothes?
Yea lol I’m sorry buy he’s keeping you covered os men don’t look at you. Lose the husband. Seriously lose him.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband is controlling, what should I do?

Fuck that. I would leave someone over something like that. Husband or not he doesn’t own you and get to tell you what you’re allowed to wear.

You are right. Wear what you think it’s right for you.

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My husband has never told me I couldn’t wear a romper or summer dress or even shorts. he sounds very controlling an I would not put up with that. :woman_shrugging: he would have to go.

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No your not wrong. Never let a man change who you are. Idc if its the clothes on your back.

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My hubby don’t control shit !! Lol I respect him he respects me period .

You’re not a child,dress yourself with what makes you feel pretty! Let him pout lol

Sweetie he doesn’t have the right to tell you what to wear but you need to be careful because he can get violent so you need to decide how far you want to push these fights I say leave him no short dress is worth being hit

Do you tell him what to wear? That’s your answer.

If my husband ever said I can’t wear something he definitely wouldn’t like my response. Then again he married me knowing how outspoken I am and loves it.

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You are not in the wrong. Nobody should be telling you what to wear, you’re an adult. Let him be a cry baby.

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Hell no! I’m grown and no one tells me what to do or wear. He can just be mad and honestly I’d be opening your eyes and really pay attention to how he treats you. I bet that’s not all he tries to control.

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No! Wear what you want!

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My ex will do this to me I eventually got tired of it and now I am married to a man that buys me whatever I want and doesn’t say anything about my clothes :two_hearts:

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I had an ex bf that was like that, I think it mostly has to do with other guys looking at you while you’re wearing what you’re wearing …but my husband doesn’t give a damn what I wear as long as the girls and the kitty are covered​:woman_shrugging::joy:

Nope. I wear what I wear.

No ur not wrong. Thats not even inappropriate . He is jealous somehow -.-

Fuck that. My husband doesn’t care as long as I’m comfortable and confident wearing it myself. And if I pulled myself out of the mom exhaustion to try to be sexy he enjoys it lol

I would say to run :running_woman: you should enjoy the clothes you buy for yourself

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Unpopular opinion: yes, you can dress yourself. You’re aloud to pick your own clothes. Rompers are comfy especially in the summer. However some men don’t like their partner wearing low cut , short or revealing clothes because they don’t want all the other men to see your body which should be his and yours. In all fairness I don’t know if he’s exaggerating how revealing your clothes are. I don’t understand shy women like to show off their bodies so all the men can oggle especially when hey have a man, it attracts attention.

Sounds like different values and expectations. The demanding behaviour and what not is too far. I’d leave because that’s not okay to act like that when you’re at odds. My husband has said he doesn’t like how short something is but he won’t flip out. If he will become angry you need to leave the relationship before kg becomes ugly.

I’ve been with my husband for almost 15 years and he has NEVER told me what to wear. I wouldn’t have stayed if he did.

Girl trust me, run. Fast and far away. Don’t put up with that crap. I wasted 20 years of my life living with a man like that. Best thing I ever did was leave him. My life after divorcing him was the happiest I have ever been.

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Sounds like an insecure boy

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If yours boobs are hanging out or shorts up to your ass then I could understand him not wanting you to flaunt your stuff …but if its tasteful then he shouldn’t say anything…

Lady I have not even read the rest of your post. I just saw the first line and my blood was boiling. We as women have faught our asses off to be able to do what we want. You are a grown assed women and you are entitled to wear whatever the hell you want. The last man who told me he didn’t like what I was wearing was my father and even then I barely paid attention.
Take your power back and if he doesn’t like it, he must fuck right off. This is a man you lay with, do not accept this bull shit. Good luck

time for counseling or a divorce

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:joy::joy::joy::joy::joy: He would literally die if he was my husband. I go topless pretty often! Outside. My husband knew what he was getting into when he married me :joy::joy::rofl::rofl::rofl:

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No. Leave. Thats crap.

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I didnt read the entire story. But the first sentence should be enough to wanna leave him. It doesnt matter how long you have been together. Leave and buy all the clothes that make u feel good. You shouldnt have to change your style because he has issues. Be your own type of beautiful

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Hell no! My husband doesn’t dictate what I wear. You should be able to wear what you want and the fact that he is that controlling over it is a big red flag.

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As long as you are not showing private parts I would tell him to kiss my butt. If he don’t talk to you so what don’t cook are do any thing for him till he is nicer’

You are definitely in the right, you have put up with it for 8 years. Now is the time to end your marriage and were what you want. Or do you love your husband enough to keep the marriage together? Is it worth it. Can you tell your friends that you left him because he wouldn’t allow you to wear certain clothes

My husband has never told me what to wear I dress pretty conservative anyway because I’m getting older and not so skinny anymore but he’s never said anything like that! He always tells me when I look nice.

Throw the whole boy away. I said BOY because he sounds like one…your body, your choice on how to dress it (or not dress it for that matter).

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This only gets worse. You’ve allowed it so he thinks it’s ok. ITS NOT. There’s respect for your partner and then there’s THIS. It’s gross and wrong.

It’s a form of control and his reaction(s) is a form of manipulation. I’m not going to tell you to stay or leave. But since it’s been this way for 8 years I don’t see you two coming to an agreement on this. And he won’t change. Been there done that and he’s now an ex.

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If my husband even seriously attempted that I’d be gone. No thanks.

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My hubby doesn’t care what I wear. Its my body and I will do what I want. However if he says I look bad in chances are I probably do so therefore I would change. But other then that no I will wear what I want just like he will wear what he wants

I am going to say no he doesn’t get to choose. He can have an opinion…I think that shows off too much (XYZ), but he doesn’t get to tell me what to wear. But I am going to say there are cute rompers and sexy rompers that leave nothing to the imagination, same for sundresses. And 5inch inseam shorts and daisy dukes. Would you be comfortable with your choices at church or your grandmother’s? While I don’t agree to someone telling me what I can wear, I can understand opinions depending on how revealing the outfit is.

My hubby isn’t in control of anything if mine. Doesnt matter what it is.

Nope. He needs to grow up & get with the times, or you need to leave. He’s a child.

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Uh no. That is not ok. You wear what you want.

That’s why I am single Got tired of all the controlling suffocate ing fool’s

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It’s only going to get worse ever lmn movie ever

Sounds like a narcissist to me

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Number one, girl wear what ever tf you want, whenever tf you want! Secondly,do you know why men try to control their women? Because they’re insecure and afraid. It is one thing for him to say " babe/honey/love ect. do you think maybe you could change, I just don’t want something to happen to you if your out and no one’s with you because there are alot of predators out there who use clothing as an excuse to attack a woman" but in no way shape or form should he ever try to MAKE you dress like you should be ashamed of your body just because hes got a god complex. I had an ex like that, we were only together for 7 weeks and it was the most toxic time of my life. Every single day he would see me and scream at me to put something else on, when I wouldn’t he would yell in my face, threaten me, try to rip my clothes so I would have to change. And then I finally got the courage to tell him exactly how he was never going to put me down again or tell me what I could or couldn’t wear and he said if I didn’t start listening he’d leave me, I packed everything I had at his place,went home and never spoke to him again. I seriously suggest you start the process of filing for divorce because sometimes, those fights, and those screaming matches turn into physical fights and having to wear more to cover up what he’s done.

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He sounds like a little boy with an anger problem

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Hell no, you can wear what you want! If he doesn’t want to talk to you later then oh well good for him.

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No, I wear what I want. I respect my body to not show to much. Plus I don’t need someone telling me how to dress. He loves me enough not to act like that.

Get rid of that man!! It will only escalate to worse behavior! Get out asap!

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This is not normal behaviour.

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No, never. But I feel this is partially your fault because you gave in to him in the beginning. So he didn’t see it as a problem necessarily anymore. & Now after 8 years you’re putting your foot down and its a problem… so of course he is like wtf. Not saying he is in the right. But this is why you nip red flags in the butt before they turn into resentment you do not know how to handle.

Wear what you want . You know what’s right and wrong. You got one life you have to live it to the fullest.

Never. I’ve asked him if it’s to much or not and he has always said no. But if he has a problem with it then I change. But most of the time I wear jeans and a t-shirt of some kind or a long sleeve shirt and sneakers lol

Reasure him that no matter what you wear that he gets to be the one that ducks you & that your getting cute for HIM not other dudes. Just like us men need to be reassured about the security of there spot. I get dolled up everyday just to sit in the house. But that’s bc I love it. My man lets me go out in dresses and sports bras if I please. But he knows it’s all for him.

When my ex husband (while we were still married) told me I wasn’t allowed to wear something I wore it. I told him when we met that I wasn’t going to be controlled. Unfortunately he did control way more than I’d like to admit. Which is why were divorced now. Good luck!

YOU TRAINED HIM THAT WAY !!! Don’t bitch NOW —you should have done that 8 1/4 years ago !!!

Mine used to make the statement, “oh no, you cannot go out looking like that!” but it was always a compliment. If he is trying to control what you wear then he is insecure of himself.

Stand your ground. What you describe are abusive leanings. Stand your ground.

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That’s controlling & the not talking to you for days is emotional abuse/manipulation. Both are very large red flags & you should run.

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Divorce for sure. This is only the beginning, it gets worse

He sounds awful. And that definitely doesn’t sound like a good relationship for you to thrive in. Why do you stay? I’d definitely ignore him and get on with being happy.

Any man who doesn’t lift you up if you’re being respectful of your body and feeling good about what you’re wearing is 100% a narcissist and is only trying to control you. Get out as soon as you can. This is the abuse that so many women tend to look over but I suspect this isn’t the only controlled thing he does.

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No I wear what I’m comfortable wearing

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I respect my husband & wouldn’t wear something that made him uncomfortable, but he would never TELL ME, I wasn’t ALLOWED to wear something. He would calmly express his concerns & that’d be the end of it. It’s okay to bend to keep your spouse happy. But it isn’t okay to control & mentally manipulate them when you don’t get your way. You are still your own person & allowed to dress as you please.

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He’s insecure by what u wear because he knows you’re beautiful n knows for a fact there’s another man out there that will treat you better than he is. Keep standing your ground but I suggest being careful while u do it cause he could escalate and hurt you cause of it so be careful.

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Wear what you want …let him throw his childish tantrums!

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Gurl…I ain even got no husband bt…HELL NAW!!!:angry:

Honey you married a narcissist. They manipulate you and make you feel like the bad guy. Keep sticking up for yourself. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.

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Stop complaining. You can always leave him…

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Your never in the wrong for wearing what makes you feel comfortable. Get away from him quickly cause if this how he’s controlling you now it’s gonna get worse. You’re a grown woman stand your grounds. I’m sorry you’re dealing with someone who is so childish.

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…how insecure. My hubby will point out if something is see through/shows nips/shows undies if he thinks i didn’t see it. Usually he doesn’t say anything otherwise though

You should leave. Especially if you have children.

If I was your husband, I wouldn’t mind what you wear because you are mine nonetheless how gorgeous you look. :two_hearts::monkey::open_hands::skull::two_hearts:

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Is it because of his religious beliefs? I would go to counseling with him if it’s nit a religious thing. You have 8 years with this man. Try to find a common ground. Marriage is hard sometimes very very hard but if you loved this man enough to marry him then maybe it’s worth fighting for. But you know your situation best so do what is best and safe for you

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You’re not wrong. He is! It’s not about what you’re wearing. It’s about him having control over you. The silent treatment is a common & affective control technique. It drives you crazy & you will give in to avoid the punishment. My ex did it too. Please leave him ASAP. If you need help contact a DV agency. They will help you leave.

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If he’s like that, the issue is him and nothing to do with you. I’d rather be single all my life then deal with someone so insecure and petty. Especially if you feel like something is wrong. I know women want to respect their husbands to a degree but he’s going way over board. He’s emotionally abusing you by making you feel guilty for wearing things you enjoy and obviously comfortable in. Ignoring you for days? Really? You’re better off without him.

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In 7 years my partner has NEVER told me what to wear. Expect when he laughed and asked me not to wear socks and slides. :rofl::woman_shrugging: i still do. He just laughs at me coz he thinks its funny.
If we go out, he loves me wearing revealing stuff. Its the only time he sees me flaunt it :sweat_smile::sweat_smile:

Girl get some boundaries in place coz your man sounds ridiculous.

Sometimes it really something else he hung up on. See a therapist.

He needs to grow the hell up

Worry less about changing outfits and worry more about changing that man….

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Do you dress slutty? Is your husband afraid you will draw unwanted attention or attract rapists? How old are you? Are you over 40 wearing tight booty shorts and bra tops? What do your family and friends think/say about your fashion choices? Has he always felt this way, or is it a recent thing? Is it a cultural thing about how tight/sexy you wear your clothes?

He married you “as is” and should not be surprised that you dress the way you always have. I can see his wanting you to dress conservatively if you are accompanying him to a business function, but everyday clothes? Do you work outside the home? Does he feel your manner of dress will hinder your potential at work?

Does he feel he has little to no control over everything in his life? Maybe see if you can find something else he can be in charge of, like a volunteer position.

Is he controlling other aspects of your life or just this? Maybe try marriage counseling to help you both sort things out. You will find out if this is a weird quirk or the tip of an iceberg.

Ask him if he wants you to wear a chador or a burka🤣

You are an adult. Your husband is an adult. Why even argue about clothing? Wear whatever you want to wear. No sense having the same fight over and over about your clothing. If he starts to argue, walk away. He also has an option to leave if he isn’t happy about what you wear. It is a waste of time and your life to have so much stress regarding what you are suppose to wear to please someone else.

Get your necessary paperwork into a folder (birth certificate, social security card, driver’s license, ID card, etc, and some money, if you have access to any. Set aside a few outfits while you are doing laundry, to avoid suspicion. Put all of these into an overnight bag,
AND LEAVE HIS SORRY ASS.

My husband and i talk about it because I want his opinion on how I look to me how I dress and act is a direct reflection of our marriage and of him as a husband so he does have a say in what I wear

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Sweetheart. I’m sorry but you need to research Narcissism. Read up, look at his control. There are plenty of signs and traits and I’ll bet you’ll tick off more than this one thing. Don’t believe me? Nor did I - for 21 years. Now I look back my ex ticks every box…… Your man won’t change, because he can’t, and you can’t change him either.

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No. I do not allow my partner to choose my clothing. Ever.

Keep showing him that he isn’t allowed to do that to you.

Wear what you want. You’re only young for so long.

He needs some therapy stat.

You may be married to this guy but you are NOT owned by him.
What lies beneath this behaviour is his insecurity!
So basically if you wear something that makes you feel good and look pretty then in his mind that’s a threat to him that you will be attractive to other men.
Wearing Jeans and and T-shirt isn’t a threat as it’s a laid back boyish look, that wouldn’t draw too much attention.
I understand that keeping the peace and wearing these safe options is possibly easier than these dreadful arguments, which I must say are very controlling, but not worth throwing a marriage away.
This is workable!!!

Sit him down and very calmly tell him his reaction and behaviour towards what you wear is making you very very unhappy, and that you don’t find this behaviour attractive.
Ask him directly what he’s afraid of !!!
Also tell him it’s natural and totally normal for a woman to want to look nice, it makes us feel good.
And tell him that by wearing what makes YOU happy is not a threat to him or your marriage.
Then mention this little bombshell !!!
Tell him when you married him that was your choice !!!
You stay married to him because that’s your choice.
Choosing a partner that makes you happy is your choice.
Just like picking out that nice dress it’s all about choice.
It’s important that you remain very calm when you speak to him, don’t react like you normally do.
This will throw him off guard.
As unfair as this might sound I think it’s going to be up to you to give this guy the reassurance that by Choosing what you want to wear, isn’t dressing up for attention off other men.
And you would appreciate it if instead of feeling threatened that it would be nice if he complimented instead of controlled.
I think this guy might be scared you will find someone else, because his insecurity tells him he may not be good enough for you.
Look at what lies beneath this behaviour should you chose to work at sorting out this issue.

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Run away! He is fool …no man should ever control their wife of anything

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You are an adult, wear what ever you want/feel comfortable in

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Hell my husband Don’t tell me what to wear!!
You should wear what you want!!!
Don’t answer to him!!

Never in a million years. Youre a grown woman. Wear what you are comfortable in!

I’m pregnant af and if my fiancé ever told me I couldn’t wear a romper or short shorts in the summer I’d tell his ass to fuck off I’ll do what I want :joy: thankfully he doesn’t care and hypes me up ! You can do better sis

It’s your body your choice to wear shorts, rompers, dresses whatever you want!! honestly if he has a problem with what you wear and gets angry because it’s not to his liking hello “red flags” your husband is controlling and you aren’t in a healthy marriage!! You aren’t wrong for wanting to wear what you want, you aren’t a child and he can’t tell you otherwise, stop letting him treat you as a child and make it clear as day the next time he tells you what to wear “that if he continues to be controlling and telling you what to wear because he doesn’t like it then your walking”

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  1. run
  2. hell no my ex was well aware that shit didn’t work on me

Absolutely not wear what you want as long as its decent