my husband was in a really bad accident and is needing to have his hand amuputated…he is very active so what can i do for him to make the transition easier? i want to make sure i am there for him and he knows it
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband is going to have his hand amputated: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
Ask him what he needs from you. Don’t assume.
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He can still be active with one hand. And he’ll need that get up and go to help him through pt / ot … encourage him to participate in both. Look into and ask about assistive devices … let him express frustration. But don’t let him dwell on the negative.
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I’m so sorry that happened, perhaps a support group would help. I’m sure he will go through many stages, anger, grief, adjustments, its going to be a adjustment for you also. Hugs to both of you!
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Is his doctors able to replace it,he’s going to need counseling and therapy to learn how to adjust,so be there for him,and stay positive,there’s going to be a lot of changes going on in the near future.
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There are some amazing and sophisticated prostheses available. Please encourage him
to look into some of the many options.
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My dad had is leg amputated in August and we just got his leg last month it’s a long process but all I can say is be there for him and let him vent and don’t judge him after awhe he will make jokes about his hand and let him cause that is a way of dealing with it and to be completely honest it will be alot on you having to do almost everything for your husband till he gets his Prosthetic hand and that can take anywhere from 6-9 months and over a month of rehabilitation
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That’s all you can do, is be there for him.
This might sound dumb but try and put commonly used items on what ever side he will still have a hand
Like if his left hand is amputated make sure the toilet paper is on his right side preferably on a holder, or maybe secure a wipe dispenser on that side, because in my experience (shoulder injury) it’s very humiliating to have to yell for someone to come help you with the toilet paper so you can wipe
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The best thing to do is be there, listen to what physical and occupational therapy have to say and quietly go about helping him deal with that. He’ll need help learning to do things one-handed that he’s never done that way before. Getting his pants up and fastened after using the bathroom. Fastening his belt. Buttoning a shirt…he may want to go to mostly pullover shirts. Fasteners on shoes, putting on socks. All of these things will be a challenge and frustrating. Occupational therapy will help. There may be some things he will have trouble with. Quietly do those things and remind him it’s not a big deal. What he can do mentally is so much more important. Just be there.
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Seek out a group /therapy for spouses for yourself to learn to live with and be the partner to an amputee. This will put you with like minded folks and help you cope and learn how to help him and yourself. Otherwise offer lots of love and support.
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Keep him involved in every conversation, make sure his input is heard and incorporated.
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I say look on Tiktok. There’s probably someone there that’s made a lot of videos on their process and dealing with it. Good luck with recovery and everything 
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Support him … follow all medical advice
My friend just had her leg amputated and found quite a few VERY helpful support groups on FB.
The hardest thing for my dad (bilateral) was how the public reacted. Kids were insensitive and made him not want to leave the house. Im not saying to hide it from the world but let him have an option to ‘hide’ it until hes comfortable (a towel, sweatshirt, blanket, etc over his arm). Also, let him know that that phantom pain is a thing and he will think it is still there for a long time. Encourage him to massage the scar to help the nerves ‘learn’ where they end (once healed of course). I wish him the best and I’m here if you need anything.
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Are they giving him a prosthetic
I have been through something similar. (Husband’s foot). The best thing to do is take care of yourself. It will be just as hard on you as him. There is a grieving process.
This sucks. My husband was in an accident and has been going through a lot of follow up surgeries. It’s freaking hard. Just be there for him and love him. I’m sorry.
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Be patient and loving
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Join the group Amputee Help and Support Line
I’m an amputee and the people on that page are wonderful, they’ll help on just about every way possible!
Counseling and support groups for each of you, Pampering (massages, sightseeing, meditation, pedicures, whatever makes each of you feel good) & possibly antidepressants for each of you. This will require much patience as he heals & eventually gets a prosthetic hand, possibly a multi-year project.
I also recommend mystery novels by Dick Francis. The author & his protagonist both have artificial hands, plus they’re terrific reads with well-developed, interesting characters, & lots of intrigue.
I’m not experienced with amputation but my thought is that he will grieve. Not in the same way you grieve a loved one who’s passed but in a way of grieving what life was and what he expected life to be.
So just try to understand that there are a lot of emotions with grief and they come in waves. They also go back and forth. Be there for him and don’t take the (possible) anger personally. But also remember to take time for yourself, remember you can’t help him if you’re falling apart. Don’t feel guilty for needing a break it’s normal and you are human.
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Reach out 2 those who are close to him to comfort him. They have come a long long ways with prosthetics-after he heals it may b something to consider??
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Just keep telling him over and over
So sorry prayers coming 