Get a good lawyer stat
2 Likes
This right here is why I’ve always supported myself. Get assistance, you will qualify. You have a roof over your head so don’t leave it. They will help pay for it if you don’t have the means to support yourself. Slowly get yourself on your feet. You can do it and you will be fine. Ive done it with one and I do it with 3 now. We are together but we don’t live together and I pay for my own bills. It makes me feel more secure. 
1 Like
Go to your church let them know your situation they can help you get back on your feet again, do not look back look forward pick up the pieces and be strong. I did the same thing I got out of an abusive marriage and I left with my 4 children I got a job went to school got more educated.
1 Like
I’m from NY… the law is on your side. Do not move out of your home . Keep a journal and document anything that needs to be documented.
4 Likes
Stand your ground. He can’t just leave you like that without paying child support or something. Don’t let him win! I wish you the best.
1 Like
I would move in with a family member that can help you get on your feet AND apply for child support!! Or maybe stay in that apartment as long as you can and let him leave AND help pay to keep a roof over his daughters head??? Meanwhile you can look for work and get some money coming in. (Try to save everything) Maybe apply for assistance? Cash/food/housing???. . . Something will work out, it always does! I worked and lived (very temporary) in a studio apt with my daughter when I first became single. I was receiving child support from her dad so that helped go towards my $700 a month rent. This was 18 yrs ago. Someone moved out of a 1 bedroom a few months later and the landlord asked if I wanted to take it, of course I said yes and gave my daughter the bedroom! I didn’t need 1st and last, just started paying my new monthly rent price. Try to get a job near public transportation or maybe you can car pool with someone!??. . . . .Life is so hard but it will all work out! Best of luck!! 
1 Like
Get a lawyer. They will help you get what you deserve. Remember that your life hasn’t been a picnic this far and you are strong and resilient and will figure this out. It won’t be easy but you have survived everything so far, this won’t break you
1 Like
Also look at your state laws. Some states favor the mother but know your rights
Reach out to your friends. You want them in your corner right now for support. It’s gets rough especially since kids are involved. Always think of what’s best for your kids. They are going through this too. Be strong for them. Use this situation to help you grow and better yourself for you and your kids.
I can’t immagine how you must feel. It is already hard to get left not to mention the worry about practical issues.
Make sure you understand your rights before you act or agree to anything or sign anything. Ask around for legal support - there are usually organizations or some lawyers will do pro bono work.
Get friends and family up to date with what is going on so that you have a support network.
Try, if possible, to have a civil conversation with him about it - unless he is a complete ass he probably wants to co-parent in the future and your welfare is directly linked to his child’s welfare. Try and keep the talk practical and get an idea of how he thought the process would work. Don’t agree to anything just yet before you have gotten legal advice and before you have gotten past the worst shock.
Get a lawyer. First step
Get an attorney now get custody of your child and spousal support.
Hurry protect yourself.
There are a lot of great suggestions in this thread but the best advice is to get a divorce attorney asap!
He/she will be the best in helping you get through this. Do not move out of the house!
I promise, you are stronger than you think you are right now. Breakups are always so hard, but you got this mama…I live in Canada, so the resources here are different I’m sure, but hopefully someone can guide you in the right direction. Just remember, where night is darkest, daylight follows…you got this!
10 Likes
I’m not in NY but maybe see if there are support groups for single moms. Secondly I’d hit the state for any assistance you can while you rebuild your life as a single parent. 1st and far more important in the divorce request spousal support/alimony and make sure you get child support as it’s just as important for the child to be supported by both parents. I would talk to neighbors to see if you can stay with them while you work on getting your own place.
5 Likes
You won’t be completely on your own he will have to pay child support and depending on your state maybe even spousal support. At least your child is school age that should help a bit. I’m sorry you’re Through this. You’re a mother you are stronger then you know. You got this
5 Likes
You can do it. Dont give in and just push yourself each day.
1 Like
You should sit down with your husband and talk. Tell him before y’all split to ease up and give you time to get your shii together for you and y’alls kid before just up and leaving. Any reasonable man I’ll stick around for a month or two.
12 Likes
Investigate services with your city and churches and programs. You’re not alone and there’s so much out there. Show him you’re better off and you’re showing your daughter how to handle the dark parts of life.
1 Like
I’m sorry your going through this and I hope you see the light at the end of the tunnel and pray leaving it in God’s hands. For what you can maybe you can do some type of apprenticeship program that pays you as you go to school while you work too. Dont be afraid to ask for help. My heart goes out to you.
1 Like
You’ve got this!! You are an incredible, strong momma! I dont know the extent of the situation but ask you husband/ex to help you for maybe a month or so, so you can get a job and find good child care.If thats not option file for divorce and get child support. You got this!!!
1 Like
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I am as a stay at home mom as well. I left my ex husband. I was scared and afraid but I jumped into action. I updated my resume and cover letter. I used community resources as well. I got a job and rebuilt my life amd career. Take a deep breath. You fo
You got
Huga ro you
1 Like
Child support and alimony
6 Likes
If he’s been supporting you, you can get alimony and child support that will help you pay for housing. Even if it’s not divorce yet, a mediator can help get those things started
4 Likes
Time heals all wounds.
Slightly inaccurate, but with time the hurt will lessen. As far as finances, reach out to the state. See what you may qualify for in assistance and opportunity (there are usually city/county run places for help with electric, water, heat, etc., classes to help write your resume or get help with FAFSA applications for college (or GED if you need). Things that will help you focus on you and your future.
2 Likes
Can you move out of the city to New Jersey or Connecticut? Will your husband help you move? You need to take steps to ensure he has to pay child support and sadly you need to find a job so you can support yourself and your child. I know this must be so hard for your right now but you have to dig deep and find the strength to do for your daughter.and yourself. You will get through this.
2 Likes
Be independent. You don’t need a man to take care of you. Stand ur ground and be proud!!!
4 Likes
Check out what is available for help in your area …he will have to pay child support and alimony I believe .not sure of the laws in your state. Maybe you should also find a lawyer
1 Like
You’re entitled to spousal support and child support.
5 Likes
You are not the first one and uou wont be the last. There oa a light at the end of the tunnel. Id see a lawyer asap. Find out what you can get from him child support, spousel support, etc. Do you know why he wants to leave??? I would first look into caring for your self and child. There should be places to help you. Dont let him walk all over you. Take advantage of you or the child. Seek counciling.
1 Like
First stop saying cant. You defeat yourself. Find the Department of human services. Talk to a councilor there. Look for a job. Then ask around about after school care. You got this girl. I had 3 children and lived 25 miles.out of town in a farming area. I managed and so will you.
2 Likes
Stay where you are and get a very good lawyer
8 Likes
So sorry to hear what you’re going through. Try to reach out to some churches and non profits to see what they can do for you. Definitely pursue child support etc. perhaps talk to your ex about how you would have to move out of NYC because of your financial situation and being out of work, he might be willing to help if he is invested in seeing his child often. So sorry you are going through this, you got this and WILL get through this. Sending my love and prayers your way 
1 Like
You need to move to somewhere more affordable. Ask him to give you a few months. Alimony and child support.
2 Likes
Get yourself a lawyer and get that spousal support, child support and half of everything he has😁
5 Likes
I’ve been a single parent since 2011. Its definitely hard,but as you say your in NY. Go to family court and file for child support and alimony. Also go online and look for housing. They have apartments for low income families. Also apply for all the help you can, snap wic and there’s lots more…Don’t worry things will work out and you will be indefinitely so strong. And I know NY is tough to live but you can do it…I have faith and will pray for you.
4 Likes
Hang in there!! Divorce is never easy but life can and does get better so just hang in there!! One day you’ll look back on this and realize how strong you really are even if your not feeling it right now!!
1 Like
It’s terrifying, but once you get a taste freedom, once you’re liberated and you see you actually can do it on your own, that will change. You’ll feel so much better about yourself when you realize you don’t need a man.IDK Where in NY you are, but a friend of mine was in the same situation, they put her in a shelter type of place but one where famlies had their own apartments, they helped her get a job and get on her feet. This was on Long Island. First thing go down to DSS and talk to a social worker, get the ball rolling
2 Likes
If you’re married he can’t leave you high and dry, especially with kids. Get a lawyer ASAP. You can get a public defender for free in your area.
3 Likes
Request child support and alimony now!!! Before he leaves put it in place
3 Likes
ALIMONY if you are the homemaker you are entitled to a percentage of his income my advice look into a divorce lawyer NOW before anything is put into place if you live in NYC he makes money and he is also obligated to cover you legal costs
1 Like
I started from the bottom and climbed my way up . With two kids in tow … it’s not as hard as you think . Now it’s time to get ya a job and start standing on your own two feet !
2 Likes
There are resources out there. Also, get her enrolled in a daycare and make resumes… The first step is trying to get a daycare or babysitter and a job… Since you’re still married the money is yours as well so do what you can while you can 
You are married. With you being a stay at home mom that makes him the main provider. Not sure how New York law works but he will likely be required to pay child support AND alimony. If at all possible find a family law lawyer and ask them about your rights and what steps to take.
As for yourself personally, you will get through it. If he wants to leave you’re better off without him.
I know it may seem scary but you don’t NEED him.
Have a good cry, get up, brush yourself off and do what you have to do for you and your child. Easier said than done I know but you will get there.
Life will go on and as long as you keep pushing forward, it WILL get better. Just keep moving forward.
2 Likes
Here is a list of low cost or pro bono divorce attorneys in NYC:
2 Likes
I’m in the finger lakes area of ny. You got this Momma. You dint need someone who doesn’t love you. Yes eventually child support and alimony will help. But that takes time. Up here there is income based housing. Look to see if you have that in your area. If you need to relocate you might. If you dont have help this frees you up. Look up del lago casino. They higher all the time. I know its scary to start all over but its worth it. Message if you need to talk
1 Like
Go to family court ASAP. I was a single mom in nyc and I never could have done it without family to share living expenses with. We wound up leaving the city so I could afford to live on our own.
1 Like
You will be ok The hurt will go away, then you will get mad then angry .
Use that to be better not bitter
Child support for sure but you can sub at schools so you will be working same hours as your daughter! Or take a course to be a para!
Although I agree with all above comments about asking for alimony and child support-
At the end of the day- my assumption is you want full custody or at least the majority of the time with the child based on your post so I am going to say this…
I was a single mother at 21 years old working a minimum wage job and in college. I worked two jobs at times and went to college and lived on my own and took care of my son. I had familial support for some weekend time for breaks and my son went to do daycare but the point being is people do this every single day and you totally can do it- don’t ever need anyone, don’t ever need a man. You don’t need him or anyone else.
If he wants to leave or you need to split for whatever reason- so be it- and 100% ask for alimony and child support and get him for whatever you can if the agreement was that you were a SAHM- but right now you need to put on your big girl pantries and figure out how to support your child because you cannot rely on him. Call the resources in your area or reach out to a friend or local DJFS agency and figure out what you need to do, put in job applications and get in an entry level position. You will make it through this, stronger, and I 10000% hope you get all the money you are entitled to from this man but the fact is these things take time and not everyone pays and you can’t rely on anyone but yourself to take care of that child!
5 Likes
You can do this and you can file for child support that will help a little bit with the care for the child. You can file for WIC and food stamps to help afford the food that you guys need. You can even try for to file for spousal support also and you can try for housing assistance. I would start applying for jobs and looking around into it
Number 1 get child support asap and when u file get alimony
Number 2 find a city you can afford even if it’s moving away from him.
Number 3 there are programs for dislocated homemakers thru the federal government. Check online for WIA and Workforce 2000 job training.
Number 4 file asap for food stamps, Medicaid and any school grants you can get.
16 Likes
Feel free to message me if you have any questions. I was where you are now. I had 3 kids at home.
2 Likes
Also there is babysitting assistance thru the federal government. They paid my dad to babysit all my kids with very little out of pocket for me.
3 Likes
Similar thing happened with my now fiancé and his ex. He agreed to pay for everything until she got on her toes of having enough money saved for her to be able to financially make it with the kids.
Ladies, this is why I was never a stay at home mom, I have never depended on a man, I have always worked and been independent. You need a job, you need independence, because when you are a stay at home mom, it becomes a burden on the man deep down because hes the one supporting you and the bills and kids financially, men tend to eventually get tired of having to do everything and it becomes an issue in the relationship, then women get stuck not knowing what to do, dont have money for themselves, and nowhere to go, dss can help with daycare vouchers. You never know when a man will walk out. This is why you should be up on your feet at all times, especially in this lifetime. Things are tough. This is why you should never rely on a man. Best advice I can give you, is to get to dss, start looking for a job, and he cant just leave you high and dry, you will need to somehow get financial aid for an attorney to help you get a settlement for you and your child. He cant just kick you out due to the fact that you are married. That house should be yours. Whatever the divorce reason is, may have to pay alimony, and you will also have to put him on child support. Many seperations are due to the husband either cheating or just not happy anymore due to financial issues and tired of not getting help by their S/O paying the bills and only staying home thinking they arent doing anything or their part. This is why I have always worked, never needed a man. Dont want one. You just never know when they will leave. A lot of women dont know what to do in situations like this, the man has control over you and money. You have nothing and will never have anything due to staying at home. And now this leaves you vulnerable, worried, moneyless, depressed, and basically sick to your stomach and in panic and stress. Anytime a man gives you money, instead of wanting all the nice things like gucci bags, nails done, hair done, name brand clothes, expensive stuff, make sure you make a bank account and put that up for a time like this. That way you have something to fall back on. Marriages fall apart all the time so you should always be prepared for anything. Sorry this is happening to some of you ladies. But Id be damned if I ket myself and my kids ve put in this situation ever. Im a single mother of 5 and I have done well for myself due to how smart I have come to know men, and seen other women in situations. I dont even know how women could be a stay at home mom, I am now due to medical problems and needing surgeries, its driving me insane, pure boredness, my house is always clean, and then Im bored, I hate it, I love working, socializing, being out in public and making my own money without having someone tell me what to do, what and what I cant have, etc. Good luck to all of you ladies facing this issue.
5 Likes
Figure out how much you need to care for yourself and your child per month. Tell him to pay you that amount each month and he can do whatever he wants!
3 Likes
You WILL get through this, you have strength from within and it will kick in. The need to provide and protect your daughter is your natural motherly instinct. Do you have any family or friends that you can teach out to for help, if so DO IT NOW. If not reach out to local agencies and churches, ask for housing assistance. Food stamps, ANYTHING you can get. Your husband will HAVE to pay child support and depending on NY maybe even alimony. You will get though this. It will end struggle to start but you will manage and you will be fine. Good luck !!
1 Like
Did you breath before you met your husband? You at one point lived and survived without him. You can do it again.
7 Likes
1 understand your dilemma completely. I was married for 45yrs (happily I thought) when my husband suddenly left. Mine, family, & friends were devastated, & nothing was the same again. As my husband & I had worked together all our married life, I too wondered how I would manage financially. My solicitor didn’t look after my affairs at all well, I was too gutted to care, & my
husband was left well off. I worked at low paying jobs until I was 75ýrs. I put my survival down to Jesus Christ who meet my needs through friends & family…I will always financially struggle, & it becomes a challenge a lot of times, but I’ve never gone hungry. Hang in there, you WILL get through this dark valley…if I can do it, so can you. Let go, let God …
Get a lawyer. Alimony, until you can get a job and provide for yourself. Do not think that you did not work just as hard as he to earn what y’all have. Do NOT just take nothing. He won’t be left with nothing and neither should you. Get a lawyer!!!
4 Likes
I just went through this. And I work 2 full time jobs and have enjoyed learning my worth and what I’m capable of through the process. I’ve also learned my breaking points and limits. But all lessons are blessings. And providing on your own will definitely improve your feelings of worth. You can do this.
2 Likes
If hes a good guy than fight for your relationship,if hes not than it takes time.
I used to think the same thing dont let someone tell twice they dont want you you will survive I promise 
1 Like
Then get up from that place you sitting and start looking for job,look for a close friend that can house you for a little period and move. Any job you can get,is what you need now. Stop looking for pity and use both your hands.
Depend were you live and your age children take him to court and screw him
Why is he leaving was he unfaithful? If he is your HUSBAND legally you take him for everything. Do you have kids? Support support support. If hes just a miserable piece of shit that found some “new ass” take him for everything.
5 Likes
First thing you do is call an attorney. He should be able to file for spousal support until you can find a job or update your skills. If that isn’t possible, relocate where you gave some sort of support system of friends or family. I was in your spot. It’s terrifying, but a good attorney can help you navigate.
1 Like
Stay in the house with your child and go talk to a lawyer immediately. If he wants to leave then he can go find his own place.
5 Likes
Get in touch with the Catholic Church. Or any other religious church by for help
1 Like
He leaves? You’re married. He will have to pay alimony and child support. He cant kick you out or leave you high and dry. Tell him to file and then you need to get a lawyer.
9 Likes
Sorry but lesson learn… never allow anyone but GOD!! to control your destiny… GO PUT HIM ON CHILD SUPPORT ASAP!
DIVA STATUS 4LIFE
1 Like
I had this happen with 6 kids. No income no education stay at home mom for 13 yrs. You should be able to get child support. I managed to come up with$30 I went and got my flaggers certificate. I applied for daycare assistance through welfare. I went to work making just over minimum wage. I went to the union hall with $20 cash in my pocket, wouldn’t ever join until they had a job for me. I paid the$20 to join d list went to work for 30 an hour plus benefits plus a few other perks. Fake it until you make it. Apply for public assistance cash, food, medical and daycare. Then proceed to low income housing. A lot of times they will pay for retraining.
11 Likes
Mama, you are not the first nor the last. Single mamas club is the biggest one in the world. You will figure this out. Forget him. In a year or two you’ll be totally independent, you’ll be in awe of yourself and what you’ve done. You can do this! I promise you!
6 Likes
Dont worry, he will still be paying for your home. Talk to an attorney - become legally separated and then take your support.
2 Likes
Start cleaning houses! That has gotten me through 2 years of being a single mother with 2 kids!!!
3 Likes
What a fucken dog ugh im sorry but he is…but i live in vegas and its cheap and alot of help out here…sell everything you can and just keep what u really need im sure theres other states cheap too…stay strong for your babys.
I love how all these women are saying to take his ass to court and get alimony and shit. So much for independent strong women lol. When the man leaves the women she can take him for all he has. But if she was the one who left, could he take her for everything she has?? Like seriously y’all are some money hungry gold digging women. You get a god damn job and you make a life for yourself and your kids. Yes get child support but if he wants them half the time then you’re not really entitled to child support. And this only one side.of the story. What if she did something to make him want to leave? Y’all still screaming spousal support??? Like why is it his responsibility to take care of her? I don’t wanna hear that he should provide the life she was accustomed to. Like no. She had no responsibility in the financial area for long enough. Time to get off your ass and get a job. Tired of all the boo hoo and poor me and blame the man for everything attitudes. Don’t ever claim to be a strong independent woman if you have that mentality. Fucking annoying how desperate women sound these days. Have a damn back up plan. It’s your job as a mother to always have a back up plan. And a back up for the back up too. Quit worrying about what he’s doing and figure your shit out.
12 Likes
First thing found for child support 2 file for Aid 4 dependent children through the state 3 Go for alimony. 4 drive for Section 8 housing if it’s decent
Dam get the bed lawyer you can find, take him for everything, and pay for everything
1 Like
Child support and alimony. Don’t let him talk you into figuring it out between the two of you or not having lawyers. Nope. Get what money you can and start your life. You can do it! I agree with the other posters and find a support group. Maybe you can move in with another mom? It will be hard at first but once you start it will all work out. 
3 Likes
He might not have any money to help her out. Get state assistant and try to get a job.
Everything will be ok…
1 Like
My dad would always always tell us make sure you have an education to fall back on because I don’t ever want you and your sister to depend on a man ever… and my sister didnt get an education and when her and her ex husband left each other she proved my dad’s point.
1 Like
You will do just fine. He has to support your daughter.
Oh 
these posts always make me so mad. What kind of husband walks out on his family like that.
1 Like
i agree with needing to get a job but what is she supposed to do about CHILDCARE? unless her husband pays for that she has no one to watch her child, yes she can get help but they don’t always cover the full thing. she’s still married. has to provide any income, could not be able to get it.
Learn to be strong. You have a child that deserves a strong mom. There are recourses out there. Don’t be ashamed to use them. Get child support. Make yourself better by going back to school if you need to. Life as you know it might be over but there can be a a better future waiting.