I need tips on how to switch from breastfeeding to pumping and bottle feeding as the main way of feeding my baby. How do you make the transition from just on demand nursing to pumping in a way that you have enough to bottle feed baby most of the time?
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I preferred breast feeding to pumping?? Much easier and ready anytime.
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Join a breastfeeding mom group on fb. Great helpers
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Cantact le leche league
FYI… If Your husband gets up daily and goes to work to provide for you, the baby, and himself he is emotionally invested way more than you realize. Women have got to stop being self centered and start seeing the whole bigger picture. Being mom isn’t easy, but being dad who carries the weight of the bills and the families financial well being isn’t easy either. I am thinking you want him to be able to feed the baby to and he most likely wants to as well. The pumping truly depends on your milk supply… You will temporarily need to nurse and pump in between to build up your milk supply… With that being said nursing and pumping for the first couple of weeks to build your supply will require a lot more of your time than just nursing. Also some ladies can not pump without the baby being against her body to stimulate the let down… You should join a breast feeding group for good tips… It’s been years since I was a breast feeding mom, but I never pumped as the bomb on demand was more convenient than pumping several times a day and having to sterilize the equipment after every single use. Keeping the bombs clean was just so much easier! Good luck and try to take into account just how much your hubby does that you don’t have to do and be thankful for his presence. There is women in this world whom wish they had a baby daddy taking care of the financial side of life, but they don’t. Single moms have to work and juggle being mom. Be thankful… Then baby blues can blind us from seeing how good we have it!
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I. Naturally breastfed one and due to medical have to express for my second… Honestly straight from the boob is so much easier… Pumping takes up so much of your time
In six weeks time i had mine on formula.3 weeks full time 1 week on and off formula then next weeks mostly formula till done.Little milk had to breastfeed…
What the fuck are you talking about
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The letter leche league should be able to help u with that.or your pediatrician
You can quit showing your kids that his treating you this way is acceptable. GET. OUT.
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If there is a womens resource center I would go immediately. They can help give/get you the info to start over by yourself. It must be so scary and I’m so sorry for you, but please look into that and the resources they may offer. You won’t regret it.
Honestly I stopped reading halfway through. Get some respect for yourself, grow a damn backbone, get your kids and get the hell out of that relationship.
Run and don’t look back. That is so toxic and not ok at all. You will have to figure it out as you go but there is no reason to stay in a marriage that isn’t going anywhere and clearly your not happy.
Walk away. The hardest part is getting started. It’s not ok for him to act this way or for you to continue to do this with him. Your children are learning alot of bad habits watching the two of you act like this. Put your big girl panties on and kick his ass to the curb!
“When respect is no longer being served, you leave the table”… It is so much easier said than done when trying to leave a relationship, but you deserve to be happy, especially for the kiddos.
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I suggest marriage counseling. If he won’t go or won’t do the work then call it quits. In the time being start putting money aside so you can leave if the time comes, get in touch with places that can help you get on your feet.
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Full trial separation with personal counseling for each of you and marriage counseling if your wanting to fight for this relationship.
Personally I would start therapy of some sort for myself and consult a divorce attorney and start planning to see if I can manage to move myself and the kids out and start the separation ASAP.
I think you have answered ur own question…u need to get out and find a safe place…go to court and ask for anger management classes etc before seeing the kids with supervised visitd
Read this about 5 times. Then start looking online for resources for victims of domestic abuse (his behavior is absolutely emotional, mental, and verbal abuse) and start making some calls. Don’t give him anything, not your time, not sex, not even a passing conversation.
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He sounds like a narcissist. Get out while you can because they will NEVER change.
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Sounds like the same problem I’m having…
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Please go to a Women’s Resource Center (delete your browsing history after and don’t call on your cell phone or a phone he has control over). Get OUT of this. Your kids and you are what are important and that man is toxic.
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He seems Bipolar but I’m not a doctor, maybe you should ask him if he’s willing to speak to someone.
Well first off its 100% not good for your kids hunny or you. Maybe its time you just pack up and go. Try some counseling for the both of you, if it doesn’t work then maybe you amd the babies should leave for the safety of your kids and you as well
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He wont change an you cant change someone. Either you live with it or you move on.
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It sounds like you know what you need to do , now you just need a plan . Kids emulate behaviors they see and you certainly don’t want these kids picking up daddy’s abusive ways . It’s disgusting that he won’t talk to you for a month except to ask for sex !! This guy needs to learn some serious respect and in the meantime kiss off!!! You deserve soooo much better !!! 
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My goodness you have your answer, read your post.
You can’t move on from the other room. Don’t make anymore excuses, leave.
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You are in an abusive relationship. Google cycle of abuse.
Also, when he pushes your buttons nonstop until he gets a reaction from you… that’s reactive abuse, because a person can only take so much.
This relationship is toxic. Many parts of it are quite familiar. You need to realize he’s not going to change and get out.
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Narcissist…get out!!
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It’s not that things can’t change, they won’t. And they won’t because he’s obviously the culprit and obviously unwilling to accept it and resume responsibility and make that change. So you are wasting your time and your life. I think you know what needs to be done. You can’t fix people, they have to want to do it for themselves.
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File for divorce and move on. No changing a man like that. Put your kids and yourself 1st. So do yourself a favor and just be happy without him.
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Those shoes were made for walking
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He wont ever change i feel for you and your kids next time he says its over pack his bags and say get out i did it and he never said it again but mine was never that bad you deserve better and so does your kids other wise when they are older this is how they will act because this is all they know i know your scared of what if… But you need to leave it will never change ,find a refuge or somewhere else go talk to someone that would know
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He is very narcissitic. Please remove yourself and your children. And its very mentally deranged he only wants you for sex. Show him you dont care that he wants to start over and leave. Period. Been there done that and never turned back
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Look at it this way…if this were happening to your daughter what would you advise her to do. What resources would you search out for her?? What plan would you help her make and implement? Now, that’s what you do.
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You have to choose to stop feeling bad for him and choose to love yourself more. He’s been emotionally and mentally abusing you and that should be enough to piss you off. Also, seek therapy, it’ll help heal the damage.
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Go for counseling so that you have some kind of back up for court. Now days most states have you go for counseling. Also take your children to counseling.
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I’m sorry I couldn’t even read all this but one thing is clear, you’re reaching out for help- I believe deep down you know you need to do what’s best for you and your children & there is no need for strangers validation for that but IMO divorce, move on & be happy 
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Girlllll wtf get out!!! You will be so much happier that makes me so sad! When ur done he panicka cause then he’d have to take care of himself again, boy byeeee 
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He’s always been that way. Only thing that has changed over the years is you getting sick of it. Plan to leave and get your crap in order asap. In the mean time when he says he’s done and only text you for sex just dont respond and be done too.
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Why did you have 3 kids with that asshole??
Oh Lord. I could maybe written this about my situation. My boyfriend of 10 yrs/ child’s father is one of biggest narcissist I have ever met. We live separate lives and sleep in separate bedrooms. I don’t have anywhere to go with my kids and I’m. Sahm with our disabled autistic child so I have no real income to even go.
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Thats why the first wife left him. Its not always you but him.
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Run. Until he admits he has a problem things won’t change they may get even worse…you must have the courage to step away it sounds like a very toxic relationship… He does not feel any remorse for his behavior why should you feel sorry for him? Do it for the sake of your children. They deserve better… Good luck… Prayers
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Are we with the same guy? I swear you just described my “partner” to a T. Although we’ve only been together for 5 years and have 2 children. I know I need to leave, I just have to get on my feet first. Good luck, I know how much it kills your soul being in that environment daily.
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This is my pretty much my life 
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Believe me when I tell you, he will never change. Not truly. Any “effort” he makes is a tactic of manipulation to buy your forgiveness and trap you. The longer you stay, the longer your children will be subjected to this as their “normal”. When I was in an abusive relationship, I felt like turning to a women’s shelter would be rock bottom but that was false. Your abusive relationship IS your rock bottom. There’s no shame in using the resources of a shelter (if you have no other option) until you are able to live independently. I’d suggest taking that step and seeking their help. Until then, you and your family will be stuck in a life controlled by his abusive tendencies.
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Start new hun
I promise it’ll be better
It’ll be so so hard at first but you’ll be so much happier 
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If it was so bad why would you have three kids with him.
Honey your dealing with a narcissist, I’m currently planning my escape pop e take your kids and move on so you all can be happy
Sounds like has checked out. Ultimatum time! He agrees to go to couple’s counseling or end it. He has to want to be with you or this wont work. Good luck hunny!
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My ex was the same, he hated how is family members acted but he was acting just like them. It wasn’t until I left and he lost everything until he realized what he was doing wrong and he started to change. I am no longer with him but we can at least communicate now for the kids. You need to get out of that life, people rarely change and it’s not going to get any better.
Probably a unpopular comment but I would try for counseling before giving up. I’ve been with the same man 10 years. Both of us faithful but we had so many obstacles to overcome. Even when I wanted to leave or did my kids were depressed about it. To the point is was a day we were suppose to celebrate Christmas and my kids refused to do it with out their Dad. I’m not saying to stay in this happy or miserable with how it is but try to see if you both can fix it before it’s too late. Most likely both of you are the problem as much as I didn’t see it or believe it in my marriage I see it so different now. Until you really hear each other instead defend yourself it won’t work. You are not each other’s enemy. You have one, but it’s not each other.
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This was my relationship till my husband went to jail for the night and others things. But make it clear if he dont change the your gone and if he plays victim then leave him then and there.
You only have one life to live, time is precious dont waste it on someone who only going to waste you away.
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He must be my SO relative…you described him to the T and it was hell…I don’t have family either! Things changed once I started doing hi. The same way and no longer feeding into his bullshit…now he eats out of my hand but it’s not the same anymore…they are narcissists
I feel this and I wish I had advice for you. I hate when I see comments that say “leave” we literally cant leave and people dont get that. If I were to leave I would need a man that has a home, willing to take a broken woman and 3 children plus the drama from the dad once we left and maybe even support us for a bit! I totally understand you and I’m sorry. I’m right there with you and you feel free to PM me if you need to talk.,
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You need to leave
You are scaring your kids for like staying in something like this. They will heal and grow if you are a single mom and they come from a two household kind of childhood. But if they see this mental abuse and think it’s how relationships should be, it will only be a vicious circle they will continue
Take your kids and leave
This story is familiar except we weren’t married. I stayed 20 years, I don’t really know why other than I thought he needed me. There were so many times I wanted.to leave but I knew it would be hell over our kids. He was definitely more knowledgeable than me with the system. I also kept thinking how the kids saw me for putting up with his nastiness and mean words. I just couldn’t break it off. I mean we lost 2 houses. The end house we lost because he refused to work for any one else. His talent and knowledge was superior . I worked the most majority out of relationship. Daycare was outraged we took turns staying at home with the kids. No one in my family cared for the way he treated me. Or people in general. He was the same to everyone. Stupidly. I stayed and thought the only way out of this toxic relationship is if one of us dies. Awful huh? That’s exactly what happened, he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in 2016, he passed away July 2019. The pain he endured. The depression, loosing 100 lbs and his dignety. I am still struggling over his death, the 3 years that led to it and the 17 years we lived together as a family, I guess. I would have been there through his illness no matter what but the time we both (for the most part)wasted from happiness, I can never get back. Even if I had left him to find my real self again and then go back to him would have been better than being unhappy, lonely, frustrated and resentful for so long. Make your choice now. I can imagine how hard it will be but I do know how hard it is being 49 with teenagers now trying to put my self back together. Good luck to you my sister mother. You know what needs to be done. You know.
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He sounds like a narcissist. He wants everything his way, has no remorse or concept of guilt. You are merely a pawn to him to use at your leisure. My ex loved watching me get mad, loved being in a toxic relationship. He will never change, the only person to change will be you. You will become complacent to his wants. Left my ex multiple times to take him back. Do it for your kids. You dont want them to put up with this as adults, why should you. My daughter started acting out, I doubted my mental health and he was fine as long as I put up with his cheating. Find a women’s shelter as you probably qualify.
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Feel like I could have written this. I hope you find the strength to leave and find your peace 
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I agree with the whole leave thing, but when you say your over, and he starts coming around, that’s when you stand your ground and tell him no im over it. He knows what he can get away with and you need to get the upper hand. Also, i hate to say this but maybe an eye for an eye. Maybe you act shitty like him, ignore him, text him from other rooms, etc. Maybe he will get the picture. Good luck
And why are you still with him.
Oh hun. I am so sorry you and the kids are going through this. You do deserve better. Look for local womens shelters who would take you and the kids
Look I have been with my husband for 18 years married 12. We have definetly been in this same place. I am sure you are a great wife and mother. But I know on my end we both came to a place where we were so frustrated with the day after day of work kids that we ended up taking our frustrations out on eachother and always blaming eachother for our own actions. At the end of the day no makes him be so dismissive of you and no makes you yell and what not… you guys make those choices. It is very hard to admit that we are apart of the issue… me and my husband decided we need to reconnect. One date night. And as bad as it sounds yes force your self to get intimate. It’s amazing how reconnecting that way changes your mood. I know there are times I am just exhausted I have 4 kids, sports ect… but it really had changed our lives. And yes my husband was the same way… was hurtful, dissmive of me. But I decided to put myself out there…
I am not saying it will work for you. But if you feel you have honestly done everything you can including looking at your self in the situation then so be it.
He is a narcissist. Plain and simple. Start packing your things, he’ll change for a few days knowing your serious then be back to old ways. You know your worth, time he knew it too. My ex was exactly the same, but he took things further by looking outside the relationship for validation and he blamed them for instigating an external relationship. Everything is everyone else’s fault. Honey you have to leave, his changes are temporary at best. You want to, and you need to. Start looking into women’s refuges in your local area, don’t tell him where you’re going. Make sure your things are packed and out of the house and leave. There is no point staying wth someone who doesn’t love you, but loves how you make him feel
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After reading this I am confused as to why this even needs to be asked. Sorry to be harsh but when you constantly let someone treat you a certain way and do nothing about it I feel it’s begins to be your fault and not theirs any more. I would not have lasted as long as you have I would have been gone the second time he treated me like this. Do yourself a favor and leave him and don’t look back.
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You are coming here asking a question that you’ve already answered. You know what needs to be done. You just need to work up the courage to do it
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Leave, you don’t deserve that sounds like he’s not Inlove, you don’t need to put up with his bullshit, go and be happy, find your resources to leave,
I get feeling stuck, but you’re gonna have to decide if you’re gonna do what ya have to do (get a job, go to a women’s shelter, whatever you HAVE to do) in order to move you n your children outta this situation. Been there, done that. You need to find you before you find someone else to accept yall. Get into celebrate recovery at a church. It’s for recovering from anything and everything
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Oh honey this has emotional abuse written all over it. I think you know what you need to do. If you can’t do it for yourself then please do it for your children. I’m so sorry you have this difficult decision to make. Continue loving yourself. Don’t let him take your self worth away. Be strong, be brave, your kids will thank you for it when they’re older.
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You already know what has to be done - now just have the courage to do it. There are multiple women’s shelters that will take you and the kids in. They have programs to help you get on your feet and regain some self-respect. Any church - ANY - will help guide you - you just have to ASK for help. God bless you, girl. He has a plan for your life - you just have to be still and listen to His voice. All the very best to you and your children.
Leave! Enough said, it will only get worse. Ask for help and leave. You are at risk and so are your children. Things are not going to get better only worse. Get out and don’t look back. Protect your life and those of your children .
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You can always go to a shelter and get help. Go to shelter sign up for WIC foodstamps insurance section 8 daycare assistance whatever you need to get on your feet.
I say try marriage counseling first. If he refuses, than he doesn’t really care about the marriage, but you can still go. You can’t find a solution if you don’t find the root of the problem. Even if you leave, which seems to be every woman’s first choice, you’ll still have to deal with him because you have children together and the children will have to deal with him as well. Finding the problem and soultion could help in the long run, even if you decide to still leave. Leaving isn’t the only single solution.
I
I’m not saying stay and put up with it, I’m saying there could be an underlying issue that needs adressed regardless. It takes 2 to make or break a relationship, most times.
No SEX until he can admit he’s part of the problem and takes the steps to fix it and is genuine about it.
He’s a narcissit and manipulates you and will never change. Take your kids and leave or make him leave and learn how to co-parent with him so your children aren’t living with these screaming fights. Do it for yourself & YOUR KIDS!
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First thing you need to find yourself a JOB,!!!You’re gonna have to let your kids stay with a babysitter regardless if you know them or not ,get to know them,!! No one’s gonna let you rent without a job!!You can’t live off of love and hugs!!It may take some time but you need to start saving money
You have a narcissist on your hands - pack & leave… Get as far away from this guy as humanly possible… He will screw your kids up mentally if you don’t get away from the toxicity… Cut all ties with him & his family… Look after YOU… Get away from these kind of people…
Get out and dont ever go back.he is unworthy of you.there is help for you.dont let him ruin your life anymore
Yes a narcissist. He’s bad for you and your children. He will never change and will only ever act like he is interested in changing when you decide to walk away because he wants to pull you back in because to him your an idiot and will fall for it every single time. You deserve so much more and you already know that. So really why are you still with him? Sometimes trusting a stranger is better than trusting the person you go to bed with every night. Find you someone to watch your child get a job and get out.
Why havent u packed ur bags and kids and leave him…i see u been together many yrs but hes never gna change …u got daughters and son do u. Want thm growing up believing in ur husbands b.s…im all for kids 2have both parents BUTnot at. Price that ur kids would e d up as bad as him…i say RUNNNN!!!
So…why are you staying?
So you ha e known this for 11 years, men do not change very much, but women do, we grow and change so much especially with each birth of a child. You are with a narcissist, it’s pretty cut and dry. It’s always your choice to leave my dear, you just have to want that more than you want the safety of familiarity. It sucks starting over, but I did after 16 years, took me a good 6 times to leave and stay gone, but I did it. Timing is everything.
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Nothing to be said but GET OUT OF THERE NOW… You’re already stuck in his cycle and he had control of you wether you believe it or not. I was in a similar situation and just walked out one day and decided I’m worth more and so are my children!
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Just reading everything you deal with when it comes to your husband was exhausting. It sounds like he checked out of the marriage long ago. You deserve to be happy, he’s not going to change. Do what you need to do to leave so you can be happy!
A friend posts on here, so I get this on your feed. Felt it was necessary to post though, sounds like you’re being manipulated and taken advantage of. Perhaps you need to decide if you want to live this life with him, or start afresh so you can try to be happy
Good luck with your decision
He wouldn’t have touched me with a 10 foot pole!! Absolutely not.
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He is a narcissist, he likely will not change. If you want to try to save your marriage then you should try couples therapy. Don’t give him your power, if you are unhappy and what the relationship that you deserve then it’s up to you to leave. Don’t wait for him to “let you move on”. He doesn’t get to dictate when you move on. If he won’t go to counseling then that’s your answer, he doesn’t care enough about your family to try. Leave and don’t look back.
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Walk away!! Take the kids and go…
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I would really love to talk to this mom! Please message me if youd like!!
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He seems like a narcissist. It also seems like you are hoping he will be the one to leave because you are afraid of his reaction if you do.
You are giving him too much of your self. Call a woman’s shelter and let them help you with an escape plan.
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Get out! Don’t waist no more time. Pray for your strength, God will carry you through. He will not change! Yes you deserve better. Don’t feel sorry for him, just get out! You deserve to be loved and to be happy with your life. 
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Girl that’s a narcissist. Everything you described is a narcissist to the T. You need to come up with a plan for you and your kids because that’s not it. Reach out to a friend, family member, co-worker if you have one.
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If I were you I’d be finding a new home packing me and the kids up and getting out of there.
Contact a women’s shelter when he’s not around. Start gathering important papers & put them somewhere he can’t get to them (birth certificates, Social security cards, medical records). Follow the advice of shelter people to keep you & the kids safe.
If you can get a PO Box & have info sent there it helps, or have a safe deposit box he won’t know about and can’t access.
Figure out (with the women’s center) what you can do to earn money, what support is available to you, & make plans to get out safely with your kids.
Make new friends. Join a church, a walking group, a mom’s group. Talk to moms at “story hour” at the library, at the playground, talk to your neighbors, join a club with babysitting. It’s tougher if you don’t have a car, but churches & other groups can often provide transportation.
Keep expanding your “village” by talking to people everywhere you go so you will develop friendships & have people you can count on, act as witnesses, hide stuff for you, babysit, offer a safe house, etc.
Before you separate, figure out if you need a restraining order, or supervised visitation with the dad. If he doesn’t want to be in the kids’ lives and doesn’t see them, maybe you can get full custody after a certain amount of time, though you’d have to give up child support and alimony if you get any.
Get therapy for you and the kids if at all possible. The women’s center near me has great programs that aren’t expensive.
I’m curious as to what you saw in him in the first place.
And raise any daughters to never have to depend on a man for their survival. Women should always be able to support themselves for this very reason.
Good luck. You can do it.
Also, see if you can find women on this forum who live near enough to be able to help you. We are all here to support you on your journey towards happiness.
Ok so i literally thought i was reading about my marriage…i recently went thru this and i understand 100% but i ended it…i was done…i still love him but im not in love with him anymore and refuse to put up with anymore. Just remember you won’t die if you are not with him and in the end the kids will be happier out of a home full of yelling and fighting. The only person who can make that decision is you the only person who can keep him away is you. In reality you are just not ready to let go yet
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GET. OUT. Girl, I have been where you are. Emotional abuse is just as bad as him physically putting his hands on you. The strain it puts on you mentally is crippling, and no, it’s not going to get better. GET OUT.
Leave. You are teaching your kids that this is a normal relationship. Work on a plan to make it happen.