Maybe it’s time for a serious sit down conversation (if you truly want to make this work) without the kids being home? Maybe take them to a trusted friend or family member. Or set the kids in another room with a movie and some snacks. You two need time alone to just talk is what it sounds like. I’d consider marriage counseling (again, if you want to work through this & it’s okay if you don’t) if you guys can’t sit and let every thought and feeling come out. Communication is key and he defiantly needs to step up emotionally for you and the kids. That’s not fair and very stressful. Also, I wouldn’t have sex with him until he steps up and shows you he wants to be with you and be a happy family. Otherwise the cycle is just going to continue. Best of luck mama 
Please remember your kiddos are watching and learning from him. Whatever you have to do, you need tp get them out of that toxic situation!
Good grief ! You are full of hate for him and yet you stay.why?
He only starts being nice to control you again. You dont have to leave to be done with him. Just be done with him. Hes going to change(so long as you arent attainable) but then if you climb back into his web hell prove hes still the same monster. My ex was like this, its abuse girl just end it. Tell him he can leave or stay whatever, but the relationship is done, you need to be working on separating your living situations and under no circumstances is he to text you for sex.
Why don’t you just leave? Or try telling him the way it is…and you can’t take much more.