I have been married for four years, going on 5. Here recently, all he has been doing is talking about going to Strip clubs. I told him it’s disrespectful to me as his wife. He says I’m crazy and that I have self-esteem problems. Am I? 2 years ago, we were on a float trip, and he was throwing beads at girls to get them to flash him. I told him I didn’t like that, and he says “it’s just what guys do”. I know that’s not what guys do when they respect their spouse. I told him I’m having self-esteem problems because of how he treats me. He stares at every ass that walks by when we’re together. He just makes me sick when he does this. I need advice
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I wouldn’t like that either but many will say their men that’s what men do. Well if your married and have a wife there should be no reason for you to go to a strip club or ask another lady to flash you. It’s about respect. Tell him either he’s married and doesn’t do that stuff or he’s single and he can do whatever he wants.
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Gross, leave him. He has no respect for you.
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Not married “guys”. He has little respect for you.
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Time to leave. He will never change
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My hubby goes to strip clubs…i have no issues…but i also go to strip clubs…what works for one relationship may not work for another. The fact that you have an issue with it and addressed it with him and he still does IS definitely an issue. “Its what men do” is a pathetic excuse.
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WTF 
Definitely not ok especially if your not ok with it and the fact that he was throwing beads to get women to flash him in front of you 
I would have divorced him then. That is extremely disrespectful and I wouldn’t tolerate it. Sorry 
If you let him continue to act like this he will just keep doing it.
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I wish mine would go to one, so i could go to one:woman_shrugging:
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If you have clearly set that boundary and he crossed it, there is no boundary he will not cross. Time to re-examine your relationship and ask yourself how many more boundaries will you allow him to cross without standing up for yourself
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If he does that when hes with you imagine what he does without you around hes probably cheating on you
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DISRESPECTFUL! He will continue to walk all over you if you continue to let him!
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Unacceptable, period.
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He’s a pig. No respect for you at all and won’t change. 
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Yuck. Super disrespectful. He’s trying to excuse being a doosh because he’s a man? No thank you. Don’t stand for it. You’re not wrong at all.
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If its like this now,u should probably get out before he starts sleeping around on u
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Whole Man Disposal Service: Yes, the Entire Man
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Fight fire with fire. Go to the club where men strip and let him know how much you liked it. He’ll stop.
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D-i-v-o-r-c-e and get rid of the overgrown twelve year old.
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Wow. I guess I have a lot of trust with my SO cuz I would take him to a strip club and go with him and have fun! I tell him that other chicks asses look good cuz if a woman can openly admit that another woman looks good she must be very confident in herself!
That is disgusting to me and shows how little he respects you.
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I can understand a bachelor party or going together (if thats something you’re into)…but NO WAY would I allow it in every day talk. If my husband threw beads and I voiced I felt disrespected, he would stop immediately… Now going to New Orleans and doing that together is a different story… Been there done that…when its an agreed upon boundary then it can be fun.
He’s disrespecting you straight to your damn face girl!!! Set some boundaries cuz NO that’s not just what guys do who have any kind of respect for their woman!
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He is wrong, not all men do that! There are respectful, good guys out there and it sounds like he’s not one of them.
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Than become his stripper. Make it a fun date night idea Valentine’s is around the corner.
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Yuck that’s a no go for me. I have two hard limits, no strippers no porn. My bf is very respectful of that.
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If its uncomfortable or makes you mad then its not okay for him to do that
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He’ll only dish out the amount of disrespect that you allow. Kick his worthless ass to the curb.
Either get over it or leave. Y’all are adults on this damn page constantly acting like 15 year old girls.
Well at least he’s doing it in your face. Imagine him cheating on you and you don’t even have a clue until he walks out the door.
If you are uncomfortable with it, have let him know and he still does it, hes a piece of crap
Why go somewhere with bead throwing if he can’t throw beads?
Divorce him now! Save yourself a lot of heartache.
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Girl I would exit that relationship as quickly as possible.
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Nope. He wouldn’t like if you did it.
Very Disrespectful to you, don’t put up with that, it will only get worse!
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Sound like regardless you two have vastly different views, and its not a healthy relationship for you to be in.
While some women may be okay with it, others aren’t and your spouse needs to respect your boundaries. My spouse feels porn is cheating, I dont… but out of respect I won’t watch it. Simple as that. I respect his wishes even though my view is different.
I was in a relationship like yours it took a lot out of me mentally, spiritually and physically. Best thing I did was cut ties, and left that behind.
Sending you love, its not easy, but he doesnt respect you. Thats the real problem.
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Creep. He needs to be respectful or else you’ll find someone who will be
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Its not what guys do. Its unexcusable. Hes cheating on you right in front of you and not even sorry about it. He won’t change either. Leave while you can
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Absolutely Positively UNACCEPTABLE…Tell him you have zero tolerance for him being disrespectful and pack ur things,go stay somewhere a CV couple weeks with zero contact whatsoever…let him see how it is without you…
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Do it back so he knows how it feels, if you wanna be petty. Or you could keep your dignity and leave his ass in the dirt, onto bigger and better things 
sounds like he has no respect for you at all.
Stop whining and get over it. My wife has been to strip clubs with me. I look at other girls while we out together to. Big deal she just shakes her head.
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Kick him to the kerb
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It’s not “just what guys do.” Your husband is disrespectful to you and sounds like a skeeze.
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I don’t personally have an issue with it but if you do and have expressed it and he ignores it, you have to decide if you’re ok with him continuing to not care
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If he can’t respect your feelings - he’s not right for you. It’s wrong, if it’s not right for you 
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He’s trying to make you feel bad for being uncomfortable and trying to manipulate you any way he can so you’ll allow him to go, or go with him. He sounds he just wants to keep you around but be able to look at and do whatever he wants on the side.
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If he’s disrespectful in front of you… imagine what he’s like when you’re not around.
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Do it back! Lol. Sometimes people dont see what people are feeling til it happens to them. Every movie that comes on find the hotest one and start talking about their abs and etc. Sorry this is happening to you and he sounds like a big douche
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Advice: everyone has different lines in the sand. For me, I stare at asses with my man. He watches porn. I watch porn. Were ok with it. If you’re not ok with something, he will either respect it…or he will not. And if he will not, you need to figure out if you can live with it. People have different lines. Respect is agreeing not to extend past those lines. Or it simply won’t work out.
What would his reaction be if you were checking out every guy that caught your eye? It’s not about not being attracted to other people, but being respectful of your boundaries, and even if there are insecurities coming up, being able to talk about that. But 
I’m in agreement with what many of these women have said.
You have made your wishes clear to your husband, and he just crosses the line and does it anyway. He is being extremely disrespectful and he is degrading you by continuing with this behavior. That whole “men will be men,” statement is a load of BS. Grow up and be a decent husband to your wife, dude. Time to walk away from this guy, and find a man who knows how to respect a woman. 
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Run as fast as you can, you can find a guy who makes you feel like the only one for him and validates your feelings when he’s doing something to make you feel less then you are . You don’t need him or his negative energy. But I mean you can always just goto a men’s strip club and check out dudes all the time, and just be like that’s just what females do 
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Try buying skimpy outfits and give him sexy dances at home… or say if he wants to go you have to go too and get lap dances with him. Point out all the sexy asses you notice . That’s what I do lol
Throw the whole man out
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Start looking at the asses too 
idk I see both sides of this. Its a strip club let him go have fun with his friends whatever! Throwing beads if that’s what happens at the event idk what the issue is you knew what it was when you signed up.
It’s not just about right or wrong (although I don’t think it’s right). It’s the fact that you told him it’s disrespectful and you don’t like it. If he still wants to do it that’s a bigger problem to me. Do not feel bad. Do not back down. Don’t lower your standards. You deserve a husband who respects you, cares about your feelings and respects your boundaries.
Yeahhh, respectful husbands don’t do that. Respectful people in general don’t do that. It’s time to throw out the trash …
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Ask your husband if going to a strip club and filling his heart with lust, which is adultery, if he would feel the same arousal if when viewing the stripper were his mother, yourself a sister or daughter. Would he still be okay with it, because somewhere out there that stripper is that to someone.
I’m sorry, but you should trust the man you marry. If you trust him, there shouldn’t be a problem with, “Look, but don’t touch.” He’s gonna be attracted to other women. Plenty of spouse-respecting men still go to strip clubs. Plenty of self-respecting women let their husbands go to strip clubs. Support sex work and stop acting like he just cheated on you, dude.
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At the end of the day you have 3 options … leave because he is disrespectful
Ignore the childish behaviour,
Or be the stripper he wants to see… he obviously has the desire to see boobs and vag so if your comfortable with it make your boobs the ones he wants to see.
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Me being me, I’m sure I’ll get in trouble but whatever.
Punch his nads every time he checks out an ass that’s not yours… he’ll stop quick.
I said what I said.
NEXT . Throw him away .
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My husband even says run
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Have you considered returning the disrespect? Give it back to him, he will stop if he cares.
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He doesn’t love or respect you. Leave.
Start doing it to him and make it obviius
There is no hope for someone like him. Occasionally going to the strip club is one thing… but ALL of this together… leave his sorry azz… he will never change. And your damage is done…time to rebuild.
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If it makes you feel disrespected then he shouldn’t do it. End of story. And if he still does then maybe it’s time for a change of life. Maybe someone who will respect you.
Go with him and have fun.
Leave his pathetic ass
My ex husband did this and was a serial cheater. If your husband can’t respect your wishes than you need to think about other ways to solve it-counseling, divorce, temporary separation, etc. and let him know you are thinking about other options and explain why so that he understands it’s because when he ___ it’s makes you feel because_.
Respectful men do NOT act like that. In a marriage or out of one.
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It’s not going to get better with age and boredom. It is only going to get worse
Leave. There’s no fixing that
Oh heck no. My husband woulD NEVER!!!
Sounds like a man who doesn’t appreciate what he has 
I’m sorry but you will break your back trying to make him see you… this is his problem. Not yours. Wish you all the best 
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Dump him ! Not worth your time
There is no way I could continue to live with someone of that nature. Womanizer. Walking away if hard but you are better off without Sis.
Told my boyfriend that if he goes, he’s better take me.
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He’s gaslighting you. Run far away.
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My response normally is… if it’s a male strip club, let’s go! And also I’d probably throw beads too. But just do it back. Be a perv! “Look at his body!” Point out the guys package… and so on
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That’s disgusting. You deserve more!
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What a loser. I hate the “he’s just a boy” mentality. He’s an adult and he needs to act like one, who respects his wife.
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Who’s influencing him like this ? Men r like little boys … they’re easily influenced by their single friends or whatever they watch on the internet . Get him surrounded by better role models maybe friends partners ? 
even maybe bring it up with a friend of urs and see what her husband thinks … ur within ur rights to feel like that … my partner doesn’t do that but I mean I do 
… but I love my man to bits and would neverrrrr but I’m playful .
How old is your husband.is he going on 15 yrs old.
I’m not saying you situation is the same but this is how my ex husband started. First porn books. Then nude bars. Finally a year long affair. Not with just the same woman either. I divorced him. Couldn’t trust him after that.
No. No. No.
That’s not okay at all…
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Go with him, have fun. P.S. strip clubs aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. I’ve been to them even in Vegas, they’re overrated. It’s just an experience he wants, let him go.
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Have you ever been to the beach with him. Do you take kids to water parks ? I guess if u been to either one them places STOP going. They are bad places:joy:
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He doesn’t appreciate you give him a ultimatum if he wants that strip club life go and don’t come back
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Everyone is different. Some women dont mind at all and some do. Sometimes it does have to do with self esteem or trust issues and sometimes it doesnt. Some women think uts disrespectful or cheating and if youre with that woman u either respect her for it or u go on with your life and let her find somone that respects her the way she wants and deserves
Do it back or leave. Personally though, I would pick up my pride, pack my most important possessions and kid and then never come back. You deserve so much better than that and stooping to his level is a reflection of you. What he is doing to you is a reflection of his character. Go find someone who will validate and respect your feelings.
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Divorce him!!! You deserve better!
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He not respecting your boundaries. Maybe you wouldn’t have the boundaries you have if he didn’t act the way that he does. I’m sure if he didn’t blatantly stare at other women you would feel more secure in your relationship.
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dump his stupid butt
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I’d leave. He doesn’t respect you.
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Men don’t change. Divorce him.
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If he can’t control himself when you’re around imagine when your not…
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Don’t. It wont end there.
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He is not ready for commitment
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